A/N: Thank you all so much for the positive feedback. You have no idea how much it all means to me :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.
"Name?" the receptionist asked on the other end of the phone. His voice was very attractive and strangely calming, but incredibly bored. Forks wasn't exactly a large town. I would imagine appointment requests didn't come through very often.
"Bella Swan," I responded.
There was an obvious pause on the other end of the line and I groaned internally. Maybe Edward had been going around telling people about my momentary lapse in sanity. Word traveled fast in a town this small. It wouldn't be all that surprising if it had already gotten to the man on the other end of the phone. Or maybe it was as simple as Dr. Cullen had told his wife to watch out for a call from me. Either way, it was clear that this receptionist knew my name.
"I just have to ask you a few questions before we set up an appointment. Standard procedure for new patients."
I nodded, but soon realized he couldn't see me. "Shoot."
He proceeded with questions that I had grown extremely tired of. The usual "do you have a history of mental illness in your family?", "do you have thoughts of hurting yourself or others?", "have you lost interest in daily activities?". The list went on.
I answered the majority of the questions with "no". I admitted to having nightmares and that I hadn't had a decent night's sleep in months. But I did omit some information, such as hallucinating the appearance of my abusive ex-boyfriend on more than one occasion. That was simply because I didn't want Charlie to overhear.
I knew Charlie was within hearing range and I had promised to tell him if I ever saw Allyn again. Much to my dismay, I saw Allyn at least once a day. Usually, he was standing in my room, watching me with his callused hands balled into fists. Charlie knew I was suffering without my saying anything and I just couldn't admit I was seeing him everywhere. I wasn't happy about breaking my promise to him, but at this point, I was miserable no matter what. What good would it do if I admitted to him that his only daughter had completely lost her mind?
I didn't feel comfortable spilling my guts to this robotic receptionist anyway. It wasn't necessary to tell him everything. This town probably already knew enough about me than I was comfortable with and there was no need to add fuel to the fire.
The receptionist sighed. "Can you come in around noon?"
That was in one hour. I guess I would have to ditch the shower and come in smelling like the coffee I had spilled all over myself a few minutes ago. "Yes, that's fine."
"See you then, Bella." There was a clicking noise as the line disconnected.
I placed the landline back in its holster and turned to face Charlie. "They got me in today. I have an appointment with Esme Cullen at noon."
"Do you want me to go with you?"
I gave him a dismissive wave. "No need, Dad. I'm sure you don't want to hear all of this again anyway."
His now constantly red and angry face seemed to grow the slightest bit more purple. "Yeah, you're probably right," he mumbled as I walked into the kitchen. "Anyway, I'm glad you're seeing Esme. She's a wonderful woman. All the Cullens are."
"All the Cullens?" I asked, piqued. I very carefully poured the rest of the coffee from the pot into my mug. The burn marks from my earlier accident were now very noticeable. No need to add more.
"Dr. Cullen and Esme have five children."
I choked on my coffee, sputtering as it burned my mouth and throat. "They have five children?" I gasped. "Dr. Cullen looks like he's barely in his mid-twenties!"
There was a hint of a smile as Charlie explained. "Well, they're all adopted. Dr. Cullen just looks very young for his age. He's the best doctor at the hospital that we've ever seen. We occasionally will get patients in from as far as Seattle who request him."
"Huh," I mumbled.
"Don't let his appearance fool you. Their kids are very well mannered and extremely smart, too. I've never had an issue with a single one of them." He sighed. "I'll never understand why Billy and Jacob have such a huge problem with them."
I took another careful sip of coffee. I had almost forgotten the reason Jacob had never come to see me at the hospital. I never thought to ask for Charlie to give me a better explanation.
"What is that about anyway? When Jacob called to check on me the other day, he didn't mention anything about it." In fact, the conversation was incredibly brief. It was almost like he was just checking to see if I was alive before hanging up. A flash of his livid expression as he dropped me off at the hospital entered my mind.
Charlie shrugged. "Billy won't go into detail. And I guess Jacob is just influenced by his father. They haven't said much, but from what they've told me, I think there was some sort of disagreement between Billy and Dr. Cullen before I even met either one of them."
"When Jacob brought me to the hospital, he was . . . glaring at Dr. Cullen. He looked absolutely livid. It must be more than an argument."
"I really have no idea, Bells. Billy and I don't talk as much as we used to because of their attitude towards them. I don't like seeing people be so closed-minded. Forks Community Hospital would be hopeless without Dr. Cullen. Just because they weren't born here doesn't make them any different from us."
I could tell Charlie felt very strongly about the Cullens. I found myself curious as to what Esme and the kids must be like. Especially since he was the type to usually keep to himself. Charlie very rarely voiced his opinions unless it was something that truly needed to be vocalized.
Charlie let out a long exhale as if he were trying to calm himself down. "Anyway, if anyone can help you get through this, it's Esme. She's an asset to the community, just as much as Dr. Cullen."
After Charlie's out-of-character speech, I was even more intrigued by the Cullen family. I would even go as far to say that I was excited.
I finished the last of the coffee and hurried up the stairs, tripping on the top step. I dug through my very limited wardrobe and settled for a brown sweater and jeans. I didn't really feel like doing anything with my hair, so I threw it up into a messy ponytail. Normally, I would have gone in my sweats. I knew I was bound to have a touch of depression, but I didn't want to risk seeming like I was drowning in it.
Charlie met me at the front door and handed me what looked like a map. I sighed and smiled at him. If it hadn't been for that, I probably never would have realized that I had absolutely no idea where I was going.
"All you have to do is head straight for Forks Community Hospital. Take a left on Bogachiel, then a right on Danielson. It'll be the first building you come to," Charlie instructed, using his finger to trace the route I should take. He then folded it up into a square so that the route was all in one area for me to just glance at if I were to get lost.
"Thanks, Dad." I slipped into my raincoat and opened the front door. It was pouring and I could swear that some of it looked like snow. Great, I thought.
Charlie saw my expression. "You sure you don't need me to go with you?"
I took a deep breath and shook my head. "I got it," I mumbled. I was going to have to start getting out and about by myself somehow. The drive to see my newly appointed shrink was a good place to start.
The office wasn't at all hard to find, thanks to Charlie's instructions. It had been quite some time since I had been behind the wheel of the car, let alone a stick shift. Since I had left early, I had plenty of time to drive as slow as I wanted so I could get the hang of it all.
Since I had arrived ten minutes early, I decided to take advantage of the heater for a few more minutes. My stomach was in knots. I really couldn't understand why I was so nervous. I guess spilling my guts had become foreign to me over time.
There were only two cars in the parking lot, both of which were brand new. One was a white Mercedes that didn't have a single spec of dirt on the paint. I chuckled to myself as I realized that it was a convertible. I couldn't see the point in driving around with the top down in the rainiest place in the United States.
The other car was a shiny, silver Volvo with tinted windows so dark that I wouldn't have been able to tell if someone was even inside.
They were bound to be the nicest cars in the entire town of Forks, Washington. While it wasn't necessarily a poor town, it certainly wasn't a rich one either. I guess a doctor married to a psychologist made living life a luxury.
I took a deep breath and pulled my hood up in preparation for the pouring rain. I lept out of the truck and hurried to the glass door of the office, careful to avoid the ice. Once inside, I was expecting to feel warmer. But that wasn't at all the case. I wondered if the heat was broken.
I kept my hood up and tried to stifle a shiver as I walked up to the receptionist's desk. Behind a sheet of glass was the man I must have spoken to over the phone. Surprisingly, he was in a white V-neck shirt and didn't seem to be at all bothered by the freezer-like temperature.
He was frightfully pale, as everyone in this town seemed to be. But something was off about the skin around his neck. It seemed to be covered in what looked like extremely light scars. Then again, it could have just been the harsh lighting.
His honey blonde hair shielded his face as he wrote something down on a pad of paper. "Name?" he asked, the same boredom in his voice from when I had spoken to him earlier.
"Bella Swan."
He immediately looked to face me. His jaw was clenched and his eyes narrowed into slits. My discomfort grew as I took in his disgusted expression, which reminded me quite a bit of Edward's back at the hospital.
I cleared my throat, trying to stand my ground. Maybe if I glared back, he would stop staring at me as if I was his worst enemy. I tried my best, even narrowing my eyes just as he had, but everything about him made me uncomfortable.
His strange, tawny eyes softened while the rest of his face didn't. A weird sense of calm washed over me. I suddenly didn't feel as cold anymore.
"Esme will see you in a moment." His voice sounded choked and strained. He sat down and faced away from me in one very fluid movement.
I sat down in one of the green lounge chairs which turned out to be much more comfortable than it looked. I snuggled myself in and took in the scene of the room. A lot of pictures of nature scenes were hung up on the walls. Originally, I had half expected there to be motivational sayings plastered all over the place. Or maybe even a picture of a kitten with a quote that said: "hang in there". But this office was modernized and not at all what I would have expected for a shrink.
Very soft classical music was playing over the loud-speaker which reminded me so much of my mother. She used to play it around the house all the time. While I wouldn't ever listen to it on my own, I felt very at home.
I heard a click and glanced towards the man at the front desk. He was whispering into an intercom through clenched teeth. I craned my head to try and make out what he was saying. His lips moved so fast that I couldn't tell by looking at him. I didn't know how it was even possible for the person on the other end of the speaker to hear him either.
A door to my right opened, breaking my concentration. A beautiful woman with a heart-shaped face and kind eyes walked into the room. Her hair was the color of caramel. It was very thick and wavy and reminded me of a commercial for professional grade shampoo. "I'm Esme Cullen. I'll see you now, Bella," she said with a maternal smile.
As I stood up, she gestured to the room at the very end of the hall. "Jasper, you can go on home now," she said as I walked to her side. The man at the desk got up and stormed out of the office without another look back.
I stared at him in awe. My original discomfort came flooding back as soon as he disappeared. What was up with the people in this town?
Esme smiled, seeming to ignore her receptionist's rotten attitude. She led the way with a graceful gait. Her office was darker and warmer than the rest of the building. There was a sofa at the farthest wall, directly beneath a very large window with a view of the mossy green forest.
"Take a seat anywhere," she said.
I felt my shoulders relax a bit as I sat in the middle of the sofa. I hadn't realized how tense I was after the man at the desk had bolted out the way he had. I folded my hands in my lap as I watched her slide over an office chair to face me.
"So, Bella, how can I help? Are you looking for assistance or just someone to talk to?" she asked as she sat down. She crossed her legs and placed one hand neatly under her chin.
Taking notice that she had no pen and paper or even a tape recorder, I grew confused. "You're not going to write down everything I say?" It came out much more rude and abrupt than I had intended.
Esme cocked her head to the side, but the slight smile didn't leave her face. "Would you like me to?"
"No," I answered quickly. "I just have never done this. In the movies, you always see someone laying down on a couch, blabbing about their feelings while the doctor asks 'how do you feel about that?'." My bitter tone surprised me as it was also completely unintentional.
She chuckled softly. "This is very different than the movies." She tapped her pointer finger to her temple. "I have a very good memory. I won't need to write anything down."
I nodded, feeling awkward and embarrassed. "I don't really know what I need," I said with a long exhale, referring to her original question. "I guess I need help as well as someone to talk to."
"Okay, how about we start at the beginning then?" she suggested. "What brought you to here?"
"Your husband didn't tell you?"
Her eyebrows knit together. "Of course not. My husband and I both exercise complete doctor-patient confidentiality."
I sighed and looked down, fidgeting with the zipper on my jacket. "Can we start with something a little more simple, Dr. Cullen?"
"Please, call me Esme. And of course we can. How about we start with how you're liking it here in Forks so far?"
I snorted. That question was simple enough. "People here are very different from what I'm used to."
She raised an eyebrow but seemed to be amused. "Oh? How so?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Some people are so nice that it makes me uncomfortable. And some are so mean."
"Mean?" Esme was very clearly surprised by my observation. "Any incident in particular?"
"I was being discharged from the hospital when I saw . . . someone." While I could tell Esme was a very compassionate person, I just wasn't comfortable telling her everything just yet. I decided to keep it vague and start off with something petty. My encounter with Edward did, in fact, bother me. But it was still the least of my worries.
"Turns out that someone wasn't actually there. I ended up backing directly into this boy who had to basically confirm that it was just my imagination," I continued. Esme listened patiently. I began to feel a little embarrassed as this all sounded so juvenile. "Anyway, Edward was just rude about it afterward. It's stupid, really."
Esme's eyes grew immediately wide. I began to panic as I had never meant to point any fingers or drop names. Edward had never told me his last name, so I had hoped that maybe there was more than one Edward in this town so this didn't single him out. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to say his name. I know it's a small town and you probably know him or his parents or something . . ." I trailed off as Esme's expression changed.
She gently placed her elegant fingers against her lips, stifling a laugh. Clearly, there was only one Edward. And it was very obvious that she knew exactly who he was. "I guess I will have to talk to him about that."
I groaned. "Please don't. I really didn't mean to say who he was. He wasn't that mean I guess." I realized how pathetic I must sound.
Esme giggled. "Edward is my son."
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