"Monsters and…"
Day: 473, 10:36 p.m.
Gary "Roach" Sanderson
Task Force 141
Unknown
The smell of fire flooded my nostrils, and when I noticed the campfire in front of me I felt rather confused. I was out in my grandparent's backyard and I quickly recognized that I was six years old, camping with my mother again. The fire was warm and I sat as close to it as possible because the night air around me was cold. My mother and I had never been rich, and after she left my father money only became more of an issue. We were forced to move in with my grandparents, who welcomed us with open arms. My mother took a job as a waitress, but she always made time for me. Some nights she would take me out back and have my grandpa set up a fire and tents out back. We would stay up all night as she told me about the stars. I was never one to sit still, but I remembered being so enamored with the stories that it only took me a few minutes before falling asleep. This was perfect as I watched my mother's mouth move as she told me another story.
I kept my eyes trained on the fire as if scared it would go out, and I would be left in the dark. The more I looked at it the more I realized it was indeed getting smaller and smaller, but I made no move to help it stay alive. I tried my best to focus on my mother's words but the more the fire dimmed the harder it was to hear her. I still made no move to keep it going, and all at once I was left alone in the dark.
Cold set into my skin, and I shivered. "Mom?" I said completely unable to hear her now. I turned to look at her, and she looked just as soft and inviting as she always did. She opened her arms to me as if offering to keep me warm.
I reached out to hear but the closer I got the further away she seemed to get. She kept on smiling at me and I tried my best to reach her. "Mom? Don't leave me…" I said trying to catch her before she disappeared before me.
I was alone now. The darkness was thick and I couldn't make out the shape of anything. Almost like I was trapped within an empty pitch black room. I called out to my mum but the only thing that replied back was my echo. I felt tears began to flow from my eyes, and brought my tiny hands to my face letting the tears roll down.
There was a shuffle from behind me as if someone was walking toward me. I turned around slowly to see a very familiar smile greet me. The man was tall and very lean as he ran a tan hand through his brown hair, which was messy and looked unkempt. He had a smile in his deep blue eyes as he walked over to me very slowly.
He squatted down to my level and looked at me rather exasperated. "Eh? You lost?"
I nodded my head, and rubbed my tears from my eyes. "I'm scared. I can't find my mom."
He looked at me for a long moment, but cheerful smile came across his face. "You don't need your mom anymore, Gary. It's okay."
I looked up at him, reaching a hand to touch him, and he let me. "Wing's?"
He smiled at me, and I felt relief fill me. I touched his face, letting my eyes close feeling at ease. I stayed like that for a long moment. I swallowed finally getting the nerve to say something to him. I opened my eyes and began to speak. "Wings I-"
He was covered in blood, and everything grew too bright. He was laying in the snow now, and he was bleeding out. I franticly pressed my hands to his hip trying to keep the blood in as he gapped at me.
"Gary... Save me…" He said and I began trying to tear my shit, but by the time I did he was dead.
His deep blue eyes turned dull and lifeless and I put both of my hands on his face frantic. "Wings… No…" I said letting a tears slide down my face as I brought him closer to me. I was covered in his blood as shook him slightly. "Wings… No… No… Please wake up…" I whispered out trying my best to make him come back to me. He was gone, and I began to cry harder. "No don't leave me!" I screamed and he shot up his eyes no longer smiling.
He grinned at me rather darkly before placing his hands on my throat. "It's all your fault Gary! It's all your faul-"
I sat up in my bed room, my breath erratic, and my eyes wide in terror. Ghost sat beside me his hands on my shoulders as he woke me up. I felt tears fall down my face, and Ghost pulled me closer to him in some sort of hug. "It's okay Gary. It's okay. It was a bad dream. You are okay."
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Ghost laid down on my bed, holding me in his arms as I cried. It had been almost a year since I lost Wings, and yet it felt as if it happened yesterday. Ghost held me quietly as I sniffed trying to control myself. He didn't say anything, and just let me lay there for what felt like forever. His mask had and sunglasses had been tossed aside on the floor along with my medication for sleep. He had chided me on not taking it, but it had been halfhearted.
I glanced around my new room as if trying to make sure it was real. I had been moved to the new wings as a favor from MacTavish, who refused to make me stay in the same room. Everything was newer in this room, and the walls were white and colorless all except the left wall which had a pictures that Ghost had drawn for me. I sniffed again and Ghost just rubbed my back soothingly as he rested his head against the head wall behind my bed.
I wiped my eyes only to discover that the tears were no longer flowing, but I didn't move. Ghost was warm, and I could hear his heartbeat. I ignored the feeling that grew in my chest, fearing it more than anything.
The only noise in my room was my sniffing, and the sound of Ghost's hand on my back as he rubbed soothing circles. I looked up at him curiously and he seemed to catch on.
"You okay?" He asked me and I nodded as he sat up tossing his legs over the side of my bed.
I followed his lead and sat next to him letting our shoulders touch. It was warm and gave me a form of comfort. "Ghost… How did you know…?" I asked after a moment and Ghost looked away as red spread in his face.
"I thought I'd come by and check on you. I figured you would forget to take you medicine after having to talk with Dr. Reed. I heard she gave you good news."
I nodded my head slowly and glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes. "Yeah… She told me I would be able get off desk duty soon. She said I would just have to pass my next evaluation with flying colors. I failed the last one with one of the worst scores possible last month, but she seemed hopeful."
Ghost nodded and turned his head to face me. He gave me a small smile before putting a supportive hand on my leg. "I know you can do it! I believe in you."
I looked at him and smiled back but it was small. The dream was still there in my mind, replaying itself over and over again.
Ghost stood up suddenly and my eyes followed him. He looked rather unsettled as he began to pace back and forth. I had never seen Ghost look so shaken, and I wondered if I had done something to upset him.
"Ghost… Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" I asked after a long moment and he stopped pacing to look at me.
"What? No. Of course not. It's me." He said before sighing as if trying to resolve some sort of internal issue. He closed his eyes and his face showed something I hadn't seen in a long time; despair.
He looked so venerable, as he stood before me in rare form. I got a good look at him for the first time that night, and what I saw was the most prefect being ever. His eyes were closed but I could almost picture the soft grey orbs straining behind eyelids. His brown hair was tossed about and he ran his fingers through it with each deep breath he took. He was perfect, why had I not seen it sooner?
I looked over at the wall covered in pictures and the first one I saw was that stupid picture he's drawn from a year ago. The roach looked confused still, and the chibi Ghost smiled happily as he held his hand anyway. It was perfect, and yet…
I stood up and Ghost's eyes flashed open watching me wearily. I grabbed his face in my hands and pulled his face to mine in one of the softest kisses I'd ever had. His lips where soft and felt untouched. I had always imagined them to be chapped as he was always biting his lips. He felt my fingers weave in to his messy brown locks, which revealed to be rather soft and fluffy.
When I pulled away, I kept my eyes closed. I let what happened set in, and I felt my face heat up. I just kissed my best friend, and he didn't make a move to kiss me back. The room was silent, and the only noise that could be heard was our breathing.
I swallowed roughly, and let go of his face before backing away slowly. I felt my chest tighten into what was commonly referred to as a panic attack. I didn't dare look at him. "I-I'm so sorry." I said before turning and running from my room.
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I was quiet as I finished my story. Dr. Reed didn't say anything as I flipped the flame of my lighter off and on. I was hoping this wouldn't go down as my evaluation, but at this point maybe discharge was the best choice for me. I could go home to my mother and pretend that none of this every happened.
I knew it was silly to think about, but I kept replaying the scenario in my head as if hoping that her next words would be her discharging me.
She cleared her throat and looked at me with a curious face. "What are you going to do?"
I scoffed at her, and gave a shrug. "I'll probably ask for a transfer or maybe I'll get discharged. Then it won't matter."
I turned to her to find that she was glaring at me. She looked angry, and without any warning she took her small hand and smacked the lighter out from my grasp. It fell off of the balcony and down to the gravel below us. She used her left hand grab my shirt sleeve.
She took a deep breath before finally saying. "You are an idiot. Don't you get it yet? You have people around you that care about you. Lieutenant Ghost is in love with you. Has been since the dawn of time probably, and all you can do is run from him. From all of them." Her eyes flashed dangerously, and I was trying recognize the woman in front of me. "Stop running from everything and just face it. You can sit out here all alone, or you can go inside and admit that it's okay to cry, and that it's okay to love. That people will come and go, but they will always remain! Bad things happen to good people, but that doesn't stop people from living their lives." She said before he face softened and then she sighed again before taking her umbrella and coat, marching inside the building.
I looked after her, completely startled by her outburst. I'd never seen her break like that. I didn't even know she could yell. I stared after her as her words soft of sunk in.
My eyes widened and ran inside with only one thing on my mind. I had to find Ghost.
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