Haru: Hey Y'all. This chapters ending is still under construction and may remain so for a while. I've tried quite a few things but nothing really fit well. It will teach me for posting something too soon, if there are delays then it's to avoid this from happening again.


(Friday, 18 September 2015 – 3:59pm, Detroit, Michigan)

If he thought he had been overjoyed before, he was wrong. He was now 10,000 times happier than when he had held Yuri's hand. Which was saying something, because he currently wasn't touching Yuri at all. On arrival at the museum the other part of Vityas plan had fallen into place. Yuri had made his own choice without any pressure or other factors from him. He hasn't chosen to take off on his own when they got inside. Instead he had stayed strangely close to Vitya the entire time, almost as if he was arranging himself around him. This was far from their normal, as a rule until now it had been just Vitya orbiting Yuri whenever the two were near each other. Now at least it was slightly mutual and it was resulting in him being ineffably happy and trying not to bounce on his toes constantly.

This was proving difficult now, as they had moved to the café. Instead he was trying very hard not to rock in his chair. He didn't want to fall and make an ass out of himself but it was prohibitive so he refocused on Yuri. He had his time with him and he was determined to make the most of it. "How was the museum? What was your favourite part?" He had paid as much attention as he could to the art and Yuri's reactions to it and he felt like today was a serious step forward in understanding but his hold on it was still tentative. He wanted to know Yuri's thoughts and what kinds of things he liked.

"The museum was great!" Yuri looked happy and he was flushing while he was looking at his drink. He was so cute that Vitya was torn so he picked his coffee back up, it would steady him. "I think I really like the Rembrandt exhibit." Yuri had looked up as he says the last part and had seen him smiling. Rembrandt was a strong but interesting choice. He noted it mentally while he looked for the similarities between that and the other things Yuri had liked. Perhaps there was something about Rembrandt he liked that his favourite artists didn't do?

"Rembrandts' usage of dark colours is very nice. The landscape paintings he's done reminds me of the winters back home." The strong, dark and bold palettes Rembrandt was known for where in stark contrast to Yuri's other favourites, but then again he could have as easily been admiring his ability to render things to make them appear much more 3D than other artists of his time. "I think my favourite exhibit was the Rembrandt exhibit, too. I really liked The Visitation. The Self-Portrait Study one was very nice, too." The firsts composition and setting had struck him. It had been done precisely so that each figure, markedly different and expertly portrayed from each other, stood out without overbearing the entirety. The latter had been interesting because he didn't know what it took to pull off a self portrait like that but judging from his only experience drawing the other night, it must take as much in a personal sense as much as it did artistically.

"It's pretty dark though." So it was too dark for Yuri's taste.

"Yes, in terms of brightness, Rembrandt paintings are very dark." He tried to settle himself by sipping his coffee but only succeeded in burning himself. Yuri was looking at him. "Scorched my tongue," he said as Yuri laughed at him. He was looking substantially better than before, happier. He wanted to know what else Yuri liked, "What do you usually get from here?".

"Depending on the weather, either an iced tea or a Frappuccino." He supposed that made sense, and he mentally added it to his Yuri Notes. He would definitely need that later. Yuri was busy looking around but what he kept looking at he couldn't tell. Was he making him nervous? "And yourself?"

"Any day is a good day for coffee. I love it." This was true. Coffee was one of the few small pleasures in his life and as such he took advantage of it as much as he could. Yuri now seemed embarrassed and self conscious once again and had resorted to staring back at his iced tea but he couldn't tell why. Was it him? He hoped he'd remembered the other note. He checked his pocket, just in case and was immensely relieved to find it was still there. This note was in case Yuri hadn't chosen to leave in the exhibit, he had expected that he would do so he hadn't thought he'd need it but now circumstances had changed. He still wondered about Yuri's taste in art. He'd never seen him really like or get into western art yet, maybe there was something he was missing? "Do you like western art?" It would be a shame for him to be taking art here if he didn't.

"It's okay," Yuri mumbled at his tea. He didn't sound overtly enthused at all. Was this lack of exposure or did he dislike the styles? He'd done quite a bit of research before coming here and part of what he had researched was analysing what things Yuri liked in his favourite artists, he'd hoped by understanding it that he might be able to form a more general sense of Yuri's tastes.

"I should introduce you to Monet and Degas, then. I feel like they're up your alley." It was likely Impressionism wasn't Yuri's thing, but at least he knew he'd like the colour palettes.

"I've seen many pieces by Monet and Degas. Show me something new, something exciting." Yuri started laughing softly. He had never seen him he this open before, it was adorable. He continued, "I am such a hoe for art." He could feel the smile forming on his face and had no way to repress it this time so he gave up. If Yuri wanted new experiences though he was certainly willing to give him those. He had an idea now. He was surprised at Yuri ending on, "And maybe I'll introduce you to Hiroshige, Hokusai and Masanobu." He was struck and deeply grateful for that offer, all he could do was nod because he couldn't speak. It would be a huge help if Yuri was willing to do that. He was busy trying to guess his motivations when Yuri spoke again, "Oh. I never asked you what your major was."

Vitya looked up to carefully gauge his reaction to this one, before replying, "English." Technically it was English literature because they didn't have a general literature course, otherwise he could have taken it. He liked english more than well enough but he loved literature in general more. Since the two came together here, he wasn't going to be picky. Yuri had blanked hard in an attempt to hide his reaction, but not before he caught some of it. He realised this time what he was seeing.

Mircoexpressions. Yuri didn't make regular facial expressions like most people did, instead he just had microexpressions that accounted for about ninety percent of his facial expressions. It was like regular ones, but much more minimised and incredibly fast. You had to pay attention completely or be very good if you wanted to catch them all. Regular people would never notice, to them it would just look like Yuri's face was blank. It was only because he was so interested in Yuri that he was constantly paying attention to him was essentially the sole reason he had picked up on it at all. But he had caught the group of them that had passed over his face, surprise, confusion, incredulity – and the at the end, disappointment, among others. He supposed that wasn't surprising. He didn't want to disappoint Yuri but he had committed to being as honest as he could today within reason. Yuri finally spoke, "English? Really?".

He sighed internally. He didn't want to do this but it was too late. Yuri's voice had confirmed the incredulous and disappointment parts. He was standing firm on this one though, he owed literature a lot, it had gotten him through most of his tougher times. "Yes, really." He kept his voice both calm and firm and then took some coffee to regain some measure of equanimity before addressing the current point of contention between them head on, "Did you not expect me to be an English major?.

Yuri looked unsettled and shifted uneasily in his seat as he said, "Not at all. Why English?". Poor Yuri. He probably hadn't meant most of it the way it was coming across so he made some allowances for that and answered as best he could. Hopefully it would disperse some of the tension.

"I've spoken it for many years and I really like speaking it and reading in it. It's a funny language, but I like it. I might go into teaching, publishing or writing after I retire from skating, b-"

Yuri's head came up instantaneously and he interrupted him suddenly and loudly with, "I hope you never retire." He stared at him. He hadn't seen him be this passionate about anything so far. As they stared at each other, Yuri finally seemed to realise what he'd just done and said. Then his face started crumpling. Yuri started again, stumbling through his words, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off. If you choose to retire then –". Yuri had gone completely red, even to the tips of his ears. Vitya was moved but still in shock. He appreciated it deeply but he didn't think Yuri actually understood what so many years in the international arena was like. It was nothing like what the up and coming or amateur skaters dreamed it would be. Practically speaking, he only had two years left in the sport, perhaps three if he was lucky. But the sentiment behind it was undoubtedly real and at least he liked Victor Nikiforov the skater.

He wondered how to best address this concisely and did his best, "Yuri, you don't have to clean up your statement. It's nice to see a fan so passionate about something." He would work through this in his own time at home. Yuri was now twitching intermittently and seemed to be getting anxious again. He tried to catch his eye twice, to no avail. Then he remembered his idea from before. Now seemed as good a time as any and the only time Yuri seemed to truly relax was around art. It was his likely the closest thing to a solution that would help him calm down again. "Hey, do you want to see something?"

"What is it?" Yuri asked, still distracted.

"Don't worry about it." He didn't want Yuri working himself up further needlessly. He grabbed his phone and started going through it. He'd stored some artwork in his photos that he'd thought Yuri might like and was busy trying to find hem when he noticed Yuri was already trying to look at his phone. "Don't look yet!" He tilled it so Yuri couldn't see and it was a good thing he did because the next thing scrolling through his photos were some gobsmacking photos of Chris busy being Chris. That reminded him of his promise, if he didn't get a photo of Yuri for Chris he would lose an ear next time they talked. He wanted his own for other reasons too. He snuck a look at Yuri and made a decision quickly, "Wait, before I continue, I should get a contact photo of you. Pose for me!" Yuri looked up, already looking cute as heck and simply gave a peace sign. He tried very hard not to laugh. He wasn't sending Chris this one or he wouldn't have Yuri to himself for the next decade. "There we go! Okay. You can stop posing now." Yuri relaxed and went back to his tea, all he heard was muffled chuckling. He finally found the art he was looking for, so he turned the phone so Yuri would be able to see it properly with him. "This is Nova Aurigae by Stanislaw Ignacy Witkiewicz. It's really colourful and very different from Rembrandt. And this one is Fantasy, it's also by Witkiewicz."

He'd chosen with great consideration. These and the few other artists he'd selected did have something particular in common with Yuri's favourites, primarily the strong, defining linework Yuri already clearly favoured. He hoped that might soften Yuri towards western art if he saw other artists who valued the same things that he did. Yuri was busy looking at them as he said, "Where is, um, that person from?"

"Witkiewicz? He's Polish." Yuri nodded, as if he was trying to absorb that. Whenever he was looking at art, he ended up getting draw into it and his face transformed completely. Before in the museum, Vitya had spent as much time watching Yuri look at the artwork as he had spent canvassing the art. It was the happiest Vitya had been in a long time. "Later I should show you some Kramskoi and Mayakovsky," he was so happy he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. Yuri noticed and started smiling back at him in a very shy and embarrassed way but his face was still glowing from before. It wasn't smart to mention it but then again he wasn't smart, "Ah, you look so sweet." Yuri blushed again and started smiling slowly before looking down at his hands. He was getting hot under the collar, he needed a distraction before he did something really stupid. He tried to focus on practicalities at least partially, "We should do this again next week. I mean, we have to go to the museum next week, but we should go to the museum together next week." He'd sounded like a fool and he knew it. His phone saved him by buzzing so he checked it; it was Chris. He didn't particularly feel like losing an ear so he said to Yuri, "Oh wait, pose for another picture."

Yuri didn't seem alarmed but he also didn't really even want to attempt to explain Chris. Chris was an experience. Yuri just said "Okay," and continued drinking his tea. He narrowed his eyes as he thought about this. It was probably better he just took a picture now without Yuri noticing, that way it wouldn't turn out either great or terrible. He didn't want to have to fend Chris away from Yuri. Chris was a terrible flirt and went after everyone, he was so bad that he didn't realise he was doing it most of the time. This was definitely the safest bet so he quickly snapped one while Yuri was still enthralled with his tea. Yuri saw the last part and exclaimed "Did you already take it? I wasn't ready!"

'Good', he thought, 'that was the point'. He was amused that Yuri worried about things like this but assured him, "You look great." He looked at the photo before he sent it. Yuri did look good. The angles, his position and Yuri's hair hid just enough of his cuteness that Chris wouldn't try to pounce on him immediately although there was nothing he could do about his good looks or Chris's imagination running wild, as it inevitably would.

"I'm not so sure of that." He attempted to stop from laughing as Yuri did look slightly put out right now and that only made him want to touch him more than he already did. He stoped himself and wrapped his free hand around his coffee firmly so it wouldn't act of its own accord.

He tried to soothe Yuri, "Well I am and I am certain. You look great, Yuri." Yuri still looked disbelieving but his self consciousness was creeping back in on him.

"Who was my photo for?"

"Chris Giacometti."

"Him?" Some understanding passed across his face, along with a frown as he tried to work something out. "He's about a year older than me, right?" Vitya wondered at that. Was he? Yuri looked very young, maybe nineteen. Perhaps it was his perspective that was off though, he didn't actually know how old Yuri was. Yuri saw this and added "I'm 22." Thank god he was older than he looked. The thought of going after anyone too young had been making him uncomfortable but four years was doable. He mentally did the math; he was fairly certain Chris was twenty-three this year so once he double checked, he nodded. "I thought so," Yuri said. Now he was curious, Yuri must really like skating to know how old Chris was. Or was he a fan of Chris as well? That thought didn't sit entirely well with him and he went back to his coffee. He knew he was treating it as a prop but he needed a prop right now. He was out of his depth with the complex mix of feelings that today had brought on so far. Yuri was looking curious before he managed to ask, "Are you two friends?"

"Extremely close friends. I told him I was going to the museum today and he wanted updates." He felt like he was walking a line now. He'd have to introduce Chris and Yuri at some point if this continued, there was absolutely no avoiding it but he was far from comfortable with this fact.

"So you send him my picture?" Yuri was back to looking confused. Did he not send pictures of people he was interested in to his friends? If so, he would be on a personal mission to change that.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" He wouldn't survive a month if he hadn't. Perhaps he simply had more normal friendships than Vitya did. That made him reconsider. Not everyone was like them or comfortable with the same things, he'd have to be considerate.

"What did you just text him?" He peered at Yuri. So he was nervous? Of what? Of his own motivations, of what Chris would think or was he just as anxious over this as he was over everything else?

Vitya considered before giving him most but not all of it, it would settle him down hopefully, "Out for coffee with… Yuri." That last part hadn't been strictly true, instead he'd put 'the cutie' since Chris would already know who he was talking about and all that it meant. It might make Yuri feel better if he expanded, "Chris is very excited to see that I'm hanging out with people." Yuri didn't seem pleased by that. Technically that was true but he and Chris both knew what Chris was really concerned over what his complete and utter lack of dating. He amended it to better reflect that, "Well, with someone I am interested in getting to know, that is." He had stated his intentions openly so that Yuri was free to decline or put a stop to it now. He took a deep breath and checked for the reaction, only to see that Yuri seemed to be baffled by some part of it.

"You want… to get to know me?" Yuri had spoken slowly, sounding as if he was about to choke on the latter part. Um, really? He had already held his hand, asked him out and declared his intentions. How much more did he need before he understood? It seemed Yuri was really quite dense and that was only going to make this more difficult for both of them but right now it was making it harder for him more so.

"Sure! Why wouldn't I?" Enthusiasm was what he slipped back into as he used his coffee for stability. He was about to have a crack at this and he didn't feel ready for it but it had to be done. Perhaps pointing out the obvious would help, "You're nice and you can actually say my name." Yuri started chuckling at his half rhetorical answer and he took another deep breath before letting it go and putting it on the table, "I like you, Yuri Katsuki." He had said that with enough meaning that anyone would understand he meant like and he knew he had slipped back into the way he said Yuri's name in his head. It was time to make him understand and he'd been holding bank all day but he knew Yuri couldn't take too much. He released his hand from his coffee cup and reached out across the table to rest it besides Yuri's, where he could easily extend his finger to touch him. Not much, but just enough, he moved lightly over Yuri's knuckle with the pad of his finger. He felt very warm and surprisingly soft and smooth. Vitya hadn't expected any of those things. Yuri was looking at him but appeared to be in more than one mind and didn't know what to do. He would stop at the first sign he was uncomfortable but it hadn't come yet, and maybe it wouldn't if he kept Yuri from focusing too much on it, "Oh! Before I forget!" He yanked the non-running away note from his pocket and put it into Yuri's hand but he couldn't stop himself from lingering a bit too long before he pulled back.

"Another one?"

"Another one." Yuri quickly put the note in his bag and went back to his drink. It was probably a good thing, he didn't really want him to read that one in a public place. He smiled just thinking about it. He knew Yuri was deliberately focusing more than he needed to on his tea in order to avoid having to deal with their current situation, so he went back to very lightly running his finger over Yuri's knuckles, this time expanding his exploration to the two either side of the centre one he had limited himself to before. His heart was seconds from coming out his chest but he didn't care. Yuri was very slowly starting to blush lightly now he had returned to this. "What are you doing this weekend?" His voice came out huskier than he had intended it and he hoped Yuri would realise it was from him touching him and not because he was implying anything.

"Probably practising or working on my coursework. Yourself?" Yuri had made a show of saying that calmly but he had heard his voice tremble. So he did have an effect on him. He was glad he wasn't alone in that at least.

"Same, probably practicing or working on classwork." He was enjoying the moment and found a measure of comfort that he wasn't the only one affected by their current situation as he and Yuri gazed at each other. This came to an end when Yuri eventually looked away as he very slowly started showing more and more signs of being anxious and he had a hard time not asking him why, worried he wanted him to stop. By the time Yuri started bouncing his leg on top of avoiding all eye contact and getting redder by the second, he decided the next time they finally made eye contact to simply ask, "You seem anxious. Is something bothering you?" If it was something else then he would deal with it. If Yuri wanted him to stop though, he needed to know immediately; he desperately hoped this wasn't the case as he waited with bated breath.

Yuri looked unsure as he replied, "I can't remember if I was supposed to text my roommate. Also, you're still touching me." He said that as if Vitya didn't realise he was still doing it, as if it had been some kind of accident. He started laughing to himself, as if he was thinking about anything else but that. Yuri should probably text his roommate though and he was about to mention it when Yuri said, "I'll text him. Just to be safe." He nodded his agreement, it probably was the best idea. Yuri drew his phone out and hesitated for a moment before asking very unsurely, "Pose for me?" He complied with the request and Yuri went back to texting after muttering, "Thank you," in his general direction.

While Yuri was giggling at something he couldn't see his own phone went off. It was Chris responding to the photo he sent of Yuri earlier.

Chris: Oh doesn't he look like a snack lmao

Chris: He's cute. You have good taste.

Chris: Wait, duh. Ofc you have good taste.

Chris: Proud of you for having good taste, love.

Chris: You may continue loving the pants off of him

He choked as he read the last line and then dissolved into a quick coughing fit. He knew Chris, and he knew he had meant that last line both literally and figuratively. He could feel his face blazing from the mental images it brought up and took a few moments before he could look back at Yuri, paranoid that somehow he knew what he was thinking and feeling guilty that he'd thought that at all. But Yuri just sat there looking totally innocent and somehow that made him feel even worse. He quickly sent back "Stop making this more difficult for me". Chris replied promptly with "Never" and he couldn't help but laugh. His timing was impeccable and obnoxiously unideal, as it was coming to the end of their date and now he was going to have a hard time not thinking about that for the rest of it.

Yuri had looked up from his phone and asked, "Was that Chris?" After that exchange he couldn't exactly speak just yet, so he nodded while he attempted to recover.

Once he had some control, he responded, "He's being very Chris-like." He tried to keep the host of emotions off his face and instead queried, "Do you want to get going? Your roommate might be getting concerned." Probably concerned about him getting Yuri out of his pants, he added mentally.

Yuri looked slightly confused as he replied, "I don't know. Let me ask him." He sat and played with his coffee until Yuri finished. "He said 'come back whenever'. So I guess I can come back whenever." He was busy being amused that Yuri's roommate was essentially his boyfriend in every practical way and couldn't help questioning the wisdom of what he'd said. Coming back whenever when he was concerned wasn't the brightest idea. Words left Yuri mouth on a rush, leaving him breathless as he came out very suddenly with, "Do you want to do anything? I mean if you want to do anything else with me. You don't have to."

He stared at him. Did he want to spend more time with him or was this a very polite way of asking to be released from being his hostage? It was true Yuri hadn't ran away yet but he appear to be very and increasingly anxious the entire time he'd been touching him. Unable to figure out what his real feelings were, he decided on using another checkpoint so he didn't get ahead of himself. The more options that Yuri had to say no to, the better of a reading he would get, at least he hoped that was how it would work.

"Yuri, let me just take you home. You seem like you're going to physically have a meltdown if I keep you out any longer." It was best this way, especially since he was already having trouble restraining himself from going any further which he knew Yuri couldn't take. He knew his own limits. "Come on, I'll walk you home." It was the least he could do to make sure Yuri was safe and having a destination meant a little more time but without things getting out of hand. He got up and offered Yuri his hand. Checkpoint; if Yuri turned down this, that was a good indicator. Yuri just stared like he'd never seen someone's hand before. Internally, he was starting to freak out now.

"Don't you want you coffee?" Yuri asked as if he was in a daze. Was it that bad?

He bit his lip and tried to forge on despite everything, "I'll get that once I get you situated." Unlike Yuri, he had his priorities in order. After a very long moment, Yuri reached out and used his hand to pull himself out of the chair. Vitya picked up the rest and made sure they had everything and then started walking. Yuri seemed very out of it so he tugged his hand gently to get his attention. "Where do you live? You should probably be guiding me, not the other way around." He would get the address and use google maps if Yuri didn't respond but he needed to know that Yuri could take charge when it was necessary and practical, like now. Instead Yuri almost stopped walking and at the same time he felt the pressure from holding his hand before that had been so reassuring, withdraw almost entirely. He squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment and internally swore. Was so little enough to put Yuri off? He dreaded this. It was better to know so he asked, "Do you want me to keep holding your hand?"

"Do whatever," mumbled from Yuri was the only response he got.

"That isn't helpful." That was it. He was letting go, as much as it pained him to do so. He wasn't going to be with someone who didn't want him, he wasn't going through that again.

"Fine. Hold my hand." He silently thanked the gods and held Yuri's hand tighter. He needed some active participation in this from Yuri, even if it just started out as baby steps.

"Now lead." He tried to sound encouraging as he said it. Yuri seemed to take a while first to orient himself before starting at a snails pace in the right direction. As they walked, he noted Yuri's fast breathing and other signs of agitation. He would have liked to reach out and touch his face and tell him it was ok but it was clear that doing so would only make things worse. He settled for half closing his eyes to concentrate on the feeling of Yuri's hand in his for the next however many minutes. It felt like the time flew by and before he knew it, they were turning to walk up a way and then to a door.

He felt sad now. He didn't really want to leave yet but staying really wasn't a good idea. They were still holding hands and as he looked up at Yuri, he saw he clearly had something on his mind. "Thank you for walking me home," was delivered quietly as if Yuri was puzzled by it. Vitya bit his lip; no matter what he seemed to do, it always seemed to be the wrong thing around Yuri.

"And thank you for accompanying me to the museum." He had enjoyed it immensely even though he didn't really think Yuri had enjoyed his presence that much. He was trying to figure out what to make of all of this.

"Text me when you get home?" Yuri asked. He was grateful for his politeness and he looked down as he answered.

"I will." He looked up into the face of his personal angel who apparently was so reluctant to return his favour. He started memorising his face, just in case. When he had committed as much detail as he could, he turned to go.

"Wait! Before you go!" Yuri tugged him back and he turned to him, frowning in confusion. Yuri had his phone out and was attempting to take a photo of their hands of all things. He wasn't going to try to figure this one out right now. He stood silently until Yuri finished. When he was done Yuri gazed at him, taking him off guard before saying, "I'm really glad you walked me home." Then Yuri started smiling his personal smile, the one he usually did when he was looking at art or looking at texts from his roommate. Vitya blinked, completely befuddled. No fair. Yuri was not playing fair, at all. "Talk to you later, Victor."

It took a moment for him to respond. "Same to you, Yuri." He wanted to end this on a good note but he didn't know how it would be received. He squeezed Yuri's hand while using his thumb to go in circles over the space between Yuri's forefinger and thumb and then reached out to touch Yuri's face with the other, gliding gently down the side of his face as he smiled at him. Yuri looked stunned. He turned and started walking.

His head was a mess. He walked back home slowly, trying to make sense of everything. He wasn't getting anywhere. He wondered if doing this was even a good idea at all. He couldn't figure out how much of their afternoon had been that Yuri distinctly disliked taking the lead in anything or if it had just been his natural shyness and self containment. He was far too cute to be completely inexperienced so that option was out. Vitya watched the sun set as he walked, taking in the landscape as his feet automatically took him home.


The Note

The Dream by Alexander Pushkin

:Not long ago, in a charming dream,

I saw myself - a king with crown's treasure;

I was in love with you, it seemed,

And my heart was beating with a pleasure.

I sang my passion's song by your enchanting knees.

Why, dreams, you didn't prolong my happiness forever?

But gods deprived me not of their whole favor:

I only lost the kingdom of my dreams.