Chapter Nine: The Children That Death Saved

"It's alright," Sofie said, "I just put him in his own world. I will explain to him the situation when he is calm."

"How do you know he'll cooperate?" I asked as I walked back over to her.

"I do not plan on giving him a choice," she replied. "He will realize, whether he wants to or not, that this is the only course of action he will be allowed to take. As for the two of you, now would be an appropriate time for us to part ways. I'll... Be in touch."

With that, reality snapped back, returning us to Hitomi's living room. I stood, and the image of Kyoko sleeping on Sayaka's couch flashed into my mind for an instant.

"A parting gift," I heard Sofie say. "You handle Madoka and Hitomi, I will handle Kamijo, and those two will handle each other."

"I should not need to say this," I said, turning to Hitomi, who was still in shock over having returned so suddenly to her home, "but you are not to speak about what has happened to anyone, especially not Sayaka."

She nodded.

//人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\\

I pulled my glasses from the drawer of my nightstand and looked through them backward, my mind empty save an aching tiredness pervading my senses. The rain had come, and was now a torrential downpour. The heavy drops pounded against the walls and windows of my apartment, filling it with the sound of the storm.

With a sigh, I folded the glasses back up and returned them to my nightstand before getting up and walking to the kitchen. I filled the tea kettle and set it on the stove before lighting the burner and preparing my teacup. As the kettle whistled, there was a knock on the door.

I shut off the burner and answered the door. Without a word, Mami walked in. Her expression, her entire demeanor, was emotionless and empty. She tried to smile, but barely managed to move as she stumbled in.

She pulled off her jacket and hung it by the door before sitting on the couch. I returned to the kitchen after locking the door, pulled another cup from the cupboard, and poured the tea, bringing both cups to the living room. Mami took her cup from me and sipped her tea for a few moments before putting it down in front of her.

We sat in silence as she took her time with her tea. Afterward, she stood up and walked to my bedroom.

I finished my tea before returning to bed.

//人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\\

"You are certainly fond of her, aren't you?" Sofie asked. She was nowhere to be seen, and I could still feel my bed below me. "She shows up unannounced, doesn't say so much as a word, hardly conscious, and goes to bed in your bed, and it does not affect you in any way."

"Why are you here?" I made no attempt to hide my annoyance.

"If you're worried about it affecting your sleep, you need not," she replied. "The dream analogy is more apt than I first thought: When I pull your consciousness when you are awake, your body enters a state of deep sleep; REM sleep, if your knowledge is accurate."

"I do not find that comforting," I said, my ire growing.

"Well, at any rate, I do not believe that informing her as to my existence would prove beneficial," she said, ignoring my ever-increasing aggravation. "She may look strong, but she is far more fragile than she lets off. She is, particularly now, a million fractured pieces held together with little more than hope and prayers; hope that you will feel about her as she does about you, the guardian she has claimed for her own in her mad delusions, and prayers to whoever or whatever is listening. Your Madokami, perhaps."

"Madokami?" I asked.

"A portmanteau of her name, 'Madoka', and your word for supernatural force, 'kami'," she replied.

"What do you mean, 'my word'? You're the one using it."

"Though it is likely what you hear, I am not speaking Japanese," she said. "Rather, I speak in ideas and, in my very limited scope, emotions. In other words, I speak in the natural language of the brain. Your mind interprets what I send it, providing you with some analogue of speech."

Confusion replaced my aggravation. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Words are only a representation for ideas and emotions," she replied. "They are only useful for communication if the idea engendered in both the speaker and the listener are the same. For example, the English word 'demand' is pronounced similarly enough to the French word 'demande', though they have quite different meanings; the French 'demande' is closer to your word 'saisoku' and the English 'request', while the English 'demand' is closer to the French 'exigences' or your 'juyou', which also can have the same meaning as the French 'demande', depending on the context. The Japanese 'juyou' also sounds fairly similar to the way you would pronounce the English 'joy' or French 'joyie', which would be similar to your word 'yorokobi'." I was silent, unable to think of a suitable response. "You see? Even a conversation on meanings leads to confusion in meanings. Instead, I provide your mind with the ideas I wish to convey and let it interpret the meanings in terms which you will understand."

"But if you are expressing yourself in ideas which I then interpret, how are you saying specific words which I have never heard before?" I asked.

"Words, themselves are ideas; the ideas of the joining together of sounds which represent other ideas, that is the idea which the word represents," she replied.

"May I return to resting in peace now? You know I can resist you if I try, but, as you pose yourself as an ally, I am trying to show you respect."

"I will leave you now, then," she said. "But before I do, you should know that Kyosuke Kamijo will not be attending school tomorrow. He is fine, but he is having a hard time accepting the fact that I have bound myself to his soul."

//人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\\

I sat in my desk before class, my eyes closed, trying to avoid the inevitable storm of questions.

"Where's Kyosuke?" Sayaka asked as she sat down at her desk.

"I-I think he's ill," Hitomi said from her seat, her voice betraying her the lie.

"Oh," Sayaka replied, dejected. "I bought him-"

"Hey," came a familiar, unusually chipper voice from the doorway.

"Kyoko!" Sayaka shouted in shock. I opened my eyes. Kyoko stood in the doorway, school bag in hand, dressed in a proper, if slightly ill-fitting, uniform. "What are you doing here!"

"I transferred here this morning," she replied. "Someone has to make sure you don't go doing something stupid again."

"Oh, hello, Kyoko," Madoka said cheerfully as she walked past on the way into class. "I'm glad you found the classroom."

"I just followed Sayaka's ma-" Kyoko started, catching herself.

"The class is already aware of our nature," I said, closing my eyes again, now suppressing a building headache.

Kyoko laughed. "Alright!" She quickly changed into her alternate form and tossed her bag across the room. It landed on one of the unused desks in the back.

"Kyoko!" Sayaka shouted. "You'll get in trouble if you wear that! Just because the class knows, that doesn't mean the entire school does! Where did you get that uniform, anyway?"

"I just borrowed one of yours," Kyoko replied as she jumped from desk to desk, making her way to the seat she'd chosen. She returned to her normal form and took a seat. "It's a bit tight, but I think it looks pretty good on me." She thought for a second, and a wry smile hit her lips. "Not as good as it looks on you, though."

Sayaka blushed wildly and Kyoko burst into laughter. "Settle down, class," Ms. Saotome said as she walked into class. "We've got a new student, who seems to be running..." She looked around the classroom and noticed the still-laughing Kyoko at her desk. "Well, I see you've already met her. Sakura Kyoko, come up and introduce yourself, please."

//人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\\

"Um... Ho-Homura? I-I think there's something wrong with Mami..." Madoka said nervously as class was released. "She... She was wearing her uniform in the school."

I leapt out of my desk with as much force as I could. "Where was she heading?" I demanded. Madoka backed away a bit. "Which way?"

"T-Toward the stairs."

I ran out of the room at full speed, shoving the crowd out of the way as I went. I kicked the door to the stairwell open and began up the stairs.

"No more!" I heard Mami scream, her voice cracking, as I approached the door to the roof from the staircase. I leapt up the final set of stairs and threw the door open. She held her rifle extended at Kyubey. It shook; her arm, her entire body, shook with anger. "I'm done! I can't take it anymore! You stole my soul! You made me kill! You made all of us kill! You created monsters! You! You killed all those people! Innocent girls!"

I walked toward her slowly. "Then it's sunk in; exactly what has happened," I said as I stopped, half way to her. She began to sob disconsolately, but her focus remained on her target. "I won't stop you, if that's what you want."

"Why?" she asked. "Why won't you help me?"

"Because you want absolution," I replied. "You want someone to make you feel like what you've done is still good; that Kyubey's idea of a higher good supersedes your own moral complaints. You want someone to absolve you of what you have done. I cannot provide those things for you."

"Then what good are you?" she snapped.

I walked over and embraced her from behind, my arms wrapping loosely around her body. "You and I are just stumbling through the darkness, doing the best we can," I said in as gentle of a voice as I could. I sighed and rested my chin on her shoulder. "Some things are beyond what you or I can hope to understand. You and I just have to keep going as best we can and hope that, by the time it's all done, we can do more good than harm. We have to keep believing that what we do, whatever we do, is the right thing; we have to keep believing that we're doing the best we can."

The inconsolate sobs returned as she lowered her gun and hugged her chest tightly. "Please," she begged, "tell me I did the right thing... I... I want to scream. I want to run and never stop. I want to get out of here and forget all of this. I can't take it!" The tears streamed down her cheeks. "I can't do it... Please, no more..."

"I'm sorry," I said as I held her as tight as I could, her tears falling on my arms. "I'm so, so sorry. I forget that you are still a child; that even though I have known you for what is to me many decades... That you don't remember the horrors we saw. Go on. Kill it." I grab her hand with mine and steady the rifle at Kyubey.

"What's the point?"

//人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\\

"I want to go for a walk," Mami said as she stood from my couch. Her voice was unusually empty. "Will you..." I nodded. "Thank you."

She pulled on her coat and stood by the door as I got ready. We walked out of my apartment and into the darkness of the night. The wind had a sharp chill to it that was out of place for the season, as though more than the night air was blowing against us. Mami led silently, my hand in hers, as we walked down the empty streets.

"The train station?" I asked, a bit surprised about our apparent destination.

"I don't know why," she replied, "but I think this place is special, like it's where someone important to us is going to disappear." She paused. "Has anything happened here before? In one of your other worlds?"

I didn't reply, instead squeezing her hand a bit, reassuringly.

We walked inside, toward the platform. She sat on one of the benches, removed from the platform itself, and I sat next to her.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here," Hitomi said from behind me.

I stood and looked. She stood in the shadows, still wearing her school uniform. "You-"

"I made my choice," she said calmly, as if to reassure herself. "I meant what I said. This time, I was the one given a chance, and I took it."

"Do not be angry with her," said a familiar voice, missing its usual vaguely-condescending tone. Instead, the words sounded difficult and awkward. It echoed from within the train station, with the sound of footsteps following after, and I turned to the doorway from which the voice came. "She did what she thought best." Sofie walked out to us, dressed in her armor. Her eyes were filled with earnest sadness. "I do not wish that you think that I am ungrateful, but you should not have made that wish."

"So that's how you did it," I said, turning back to Hitomi, anger heavy in my voice. "You wished that she could have her own body again."

"I wished that Kyosuke was free of her."

Sofie walked over to Mami and laid her hands on her shoulders. "I am sorry. So very sorry. Please, forgive me," she said.

"Who are you?" Mami asked apprehensively. "I know your voice, but..."

Sofie hesitated before leaning forward and whispering something into Mami's ear. Mami fell over, sobbing on the bench. I knelt down next to her and ran my fingers through her hair, and she took my hand and squeezed it with all her strength. Sofie lowered her head and said, "Please, take care of her. I have decided to return to France. I am no longer a magical girl."

"I'm going with you," Hitomi said. "I need to get away from here. Away from this. I was already planning on visiting Europe after school finished."

"I welcome you to come with me," Sofie replied, the tone of her voice picking up for a moment.

Running footsteps echoed through the building, growing louder and louder. I turned toward them in time to see Madoka, Sayaka, and Kyoko running to us. "What's happening?" Sayaka asked, her sword at the ready. "H-Hitomi?"

"You and I are even now," Hitomi replied with a smile. "We've both given up our souls for him, and he doesn't even care for either of us. We must both be fools." She laughed. "I'm getting out of your way for a while so I can clear my head and figure out what to do from here. Don't have too much fun without me."

"Why?" Sayaka demanded. "Why did you do it?"

"Probably for the same reason you did," Hitomi replied with a shrug, her voice echoing through the building with vindictive satisfaction. "But that doesn't matter. I made my choice, and now I'm going to go figure out what I want to do with my life." She walked over to Sofie. "Come on, you can stay with me until we leave. I'll tell my parents that you're a student from France who came here for a visit."

"Thank you," Sofie replied. Hitomi led her off the train station platform.

"What's going on?" Sayaka asked.

"Um, Sayaka?" Madoka asked timidly. "I-I don't think you want to know."

Sayaka spun around quickly and glared at Madoka. "What do you know?" she asked.

"I... Um... I don't know," Madoka said, "but I think... Was that the witch?"

"Yes," I replied, lifting the recovering Mami into my arms. "That was Sofie, the witch who attacked the school."

Sayaka dropped her arm, letting it and the sword swing freely. "That's Sofie?" she asked. "How is that possible?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" I asked.

"Tell me!" she insisted.

"After we killed her, she bound her soul to the miracle you created inside of Kyosuke Kamijo," I explained. "Due to immortality caused by her wish, we merely destroyed the witch she had become, allowing her true consciousness to come out; if what she says is true, then we do not die and give birth to witches, but allow our malice to take over our minds, turning us into witches."

Sayaka returned to her normal form and sat down on the ground. "That's..." she said.

"That's the strangest God damn thing I've seen yet," Kyoko said.

"I wish I could do something for someone," Madoka lamented as she watched Hitomi and Sofie walk away. "I don't really have any talents, so it would be nice to be like that."

"Madoka, your gifts are more rare and more precious than any of ours," I said, also watching the two walk off under streetlamps. "You bind the world together; all things that are, are because of you. You cannot understand this, but everything that has happened up to this point is, in some way or another, because of you."

Madoka was stunned. "How can I be responsible for any of those things?" she asked after a long pause.

"You inspire the best in those around you," I replied. "You make us want to be better; to deserve what you give us."

She started to blush. "Um, thank you," she said meekly. "I'm really not that special."

"You are," I replied. "More than you can know."

//人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\\

Author's Notes:

Yeah, this chapter's not that great. I've been sitting on it since about two weeks after my last update, but I haven't been able to think of a way to make it better. I've tried rewriting it, twice, but this is the best I could get it.

Sorry about the long wait, by the way. Life sort of got in the way, and this had to go on the back burner for a while. But, I'm back now, so you can all breathe a sigh of relief.

In other news, I have another major project in the works, one tied very closely to this story, in so much that it is this story, as told outside the PMMM universe, and in the form of a game. I can't say much more than that right now, but, as I intend to update more regularly, I'll have more to say on it soon enough.

In still other news, I have decided on the end of the story. I'd say more, but that might ruin it. Rosebud's the sled, but you already knew that.