Sarah watched as Angie chased after Jareth. David Bowie drunkenly stumbled over to Sarah and put his hand over her shoulder.

"Well…(hiccup)…I guess it's just you and me, me and you eh?" he said.

Sarah shrugged him off, disgusted in the man she had been dating. He was nothing like Jareth. She could see that as she looked into his eyes. He didn't have the nobility or the magical charm. David started singing to her again, this time in a much slower and drunken voice.

"Noooo one can blaaame youuuu!" he sang softly as he looked into her eyes.

Sarah huffed and pushed him away, not realising that he was so unstable that he tumbled to the floor. He didn't bother to get up. He just lay there with his body spread out on the floor. To Sarah's annoyance he continued to sing.

"For taallking toodaayy!" he sang.

"Why me" Sarah sighed.
Meanwhile, the chase between Angie and Jareth was still continuing.

"Come on darlin', let me show you a good time!" yelled Angie.

"Look, as fine as a woman you are, you're just not my type, now leave me ALONE!" shouted Jareth as he ran. Then he remembered. Why was he running? He could transform into an owl for goodness sake. Jareth disappeared from Angie's sight a few seconds before a beautiful white owl appeared and flew straight past her. Angie stopped running and stood there confused.

"If he just disappeared like that" she said to herself, "and an owl appeared as if like magic, then that must mean…that he is the owl, yes, I figured it out. I'm smart!" she said delightedly.

Jareth the owl perched on a rock. If owls could sigh, Jareth would sigh with relief. He was just glad that no one had seen him run around like that. Well, except for that crazy Angie, but what does that matter…she's stupid.

"Gotcha" Angie said as she leaped upon the owl and caught it with her bare hands. Jareth screeched. Looks like she wasn't so stupid after all.

"Now you're mine, and there's no escape!" she cackled.


In the meantime, a slightly sobered Bowie and Sarah were trying to find Jareth so they could find a way out of this crazy place.

"This has been one hell of a strange day" said Bowie. "First of all I see a dwarf in the mirror, then I come here, then I meet myself but with a weird pineapple haircut, then I find out that I'm the best actor in the world and I'm gonna win loads of Oscars. Unbelievable! Well, bye bye singing career. I doubt I can get any better at singing anyway. I mean, you can't beat Life On Mars can you. So it looks like I'll be an actor from now on. What movies do you think I should star in Sarah?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe you should play that crazy scientist guy Nikola Telsa who does magic, or you could be a judge in a male model fashion walk-off, or do the voice for a underwater cartoon character. " she said.

David Bowie laughed.

"Now what kind of madcap lunatic would ever do that!" he said patting Sarah on the head. "There's so much you need to learn about the world of show business Sarah."

Sarah grunted, she thought her ideas were rather good.

"Now we need to try and find a way out of here" she said.

"Maybe we should go in that dark scary spine-chilling, bone-shaking cave" said David seriously.

"Don't be stupid" said Sarah looking at the cave. "You're obviously still drunk, that's the most foolish idea anyone has ever had."

"Oh yeah, well it's better than your underwater scientist judging a magic show idea." David said as he walked into the cave. Sarah chased after him.

"David don't you'll…"

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Bowie screamed as he fell down into the hole in the cave.

"Fall" Sarah finished saying before she too jumped in after him.


Sarah slowly fell into the never-ending pit, she had no idea of what would await her at the bottom. Would it be a fire-breathing dragon, a venomous python, a raid of arachnids. She did not know. But what she could hear was a woman screaming below her. She looked down. It was no woman. It was David Bowie.

"Ahhhhhh!" he screeched as Sarah fell on top of him.

"Get off me" he said. "Bloody woman."

David and Sarah stood up.

"Why does everything 'appen to me" said David.

"Well maybe if you didn't scream like a girl" argued Sarah.

"I do not scream like a girl." he snapped.

"Excuse me do you mind, I'd like some quiet while I'm trying to nap please." said a voice.

David turned his head around and his girlish scream became apparent as he clapped eyes on his ex-wife…Angie!

"See I told you, you scream like a girl" laughed Sarah.

"Ange, what are you doing 'ere. Did you create a fictional character too?" asked David. They noticed that Angie was sitting on the floor clutching hold of a helpless owl.

"No you fool" she said. "I followed you here. I been hunting you down for weeks trying to talk to you about our son Zowie."

"Hah, well you're out of luck, because you don't have a son called Zowie. He's changed his name to Joey now." said Bowie.

"So what! My real name is Mary but it doesn't mean that I'm not your ex-wife anymore, does it." she said.

"What?" said David stunned. "You're real name isn't Angie…you…you…lied to me. I can't believe it. All this time I was married to someone called…Mary?!" he said.

"Since we're making confessions here" said Sarah, "I might as well tell you that I'm not really twenty-one. I'm eighteen."

"WHAT?!" yelled David. He looked at the owl that Angie was holding. "And who are you Woody Woodpecker!" he said.

The owl struggled out of Angie's hands and bit her hand before returning to his human form.

"No I'm Jareth" he said staring evilly at Angie.

"Oh no not the pineapple headed man again, I can't be doing much more of this." said David to himself.

"You son of a bh" said Angie to Jareth. "Why did you bite me."

Jareth ignored her. He walked over to Sarah and gazed in her eyes.

"Sarah, I've lost you once before, I do not want to lose you again", Jareth said as he took hold of her hand.

"Hey, no one takes my girl, Sarah is mine" said David as he took her other hand.

"No she isn't you IDIOT. She is mine" said Jareth as he pulled Sarah.

"You conniving, randy, bogus old queen" said David as he also pulled Sarah.

"Nobody defies me!" shouted Jareth.

Sarah felt like a rag doll, being pushed around by two men. Nevertheless she enjoyed them fighting over her. She had never gotten this much male attention in…well, forever!

After hours of fighting, none of them realised that they were trapped in a cave without any food. They were all really too tired to argue anymore.

"Look" said Sarah, "we might as well all get some sleep, then tomorrow we will figure out a way to get out of here okay."

So they all found a space on the floor and slept until the morning greeted them.