A/N: I loved writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy reading it just as much! Love to hear your thoughts!
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2015 – January – Brendan
The plinking of his phone alarm had woken them both up. Their heads rang with a night of whiskey drinking; their bodies aching of sex. The excuses were finely honed. Ste's excuses came easily and he'd proved himself an expert liar. He claimed to be working a night shift. Another one on top of the last. As for Brendan, Eileen had lost interest in asking. If he said he was working late at the club and would crash in the office, she'd accepted it. She might not have believed it but she accepted it.
Brendan's joints clicked and his morning sigh seemed to disturb Ste from his foetal position, head on Brendan's chest. He grunted and they'd formed this comfortable routine where Ste would slide off into his own space and Brendan would shower.
After his shower he flipped the kettle on. His eyes scanned the bed. The man sprawled out on it was everything he wanted and couldn't have. He sat on the edge, hanging in that limbo of wanting to preserve the moment but knowing they needed to check out of the hotel and back into their real lives. Ste dozed on his front, head thrown to the side. Brendan let his fingers graze the nape of his neck, rubbing against the grain of his downy hair. He regretted thinking it, the thought that had nestled and spawned a monster of a feeling in his head, but he was starting to feel a greater pull towards him than just sex.
Ste stirred, stretching his arms out from under the duvet.
"Morning," Brendan said, suppressing the smile that in his company felt so natural. He wasn't supposed to be like this. Brendan Brady was a man of few words, few smiles – striking fear into every man he came across.
"Is it time to go yet?" Ste asked, a twinge of disappointment in his voice.
"There's a bit of time."
Brendan thought back to yesterday, his daughter's first birthday. Better men would have enjoyed that moment, that first cake, those first memories. But better men would have been there for her birth, there at night while she cried. Brendan had spent her entire birthday wishing the hours away to meet with Steven at the hotel. They'd not managed to meet since before Christmas and now they'd decided to make it a regular liaison Brendan just couldn't help himself. He didn't ask Steven about his life as it stood now because he didn't want to hear it. The ring on his finger was still there but its obstacle had become meaningless. If Steven felt guilty he rarely showed it and that benefitted Brendan's conscience too.
"You got dressed," Ste said. Brendan felt his muscles uncoil as Ste's hands worked across the fabric of his shirt. Moments of tenderness like this had grown in the mornings and it displaced the heady rush of lust from the nights. It was never like this with other men either. He'd been quick to shove them off, to slam doors and block phonecalls.
"And?"
Their mouths met in the middle, Brendan sinking his minty tongue into Ste's bed-warm mouth. He eased his shoulders until with an brief nudge, Ste stretched out on his front, elbows digging into the bed. Brendan drew back the covers, peeling them away, and still in his fully pressed trousers and shirt, climbed onto the bed. Without a word, Ste pulled his hips, arching up onto his knees. A flutter of giggles snorted in his chest when Brendan's hands placed flat onto his arse cheeks, thumbs pulling him open.
"Don't leave any marks, right?"
Brendan didn't need to be reminded. The last time they'd met, they weren't even out of the reception – with the blonde girl chewing gum – when Ste berated him. He'd had to come up with some ridiculous tale of how he'd ended up with suspicious bite-mark bruises on his inner thigh to reassurance Adam.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Brendan said, the tail end of his sentence lost as tongue spread thick between Ste's cheeks. Ste's air puffed out in struggled breaths from the head of the bed and he squirmed, making Brendan pin him down with a hand on his back. Brendan knew his fresh stubble burnt but he knew Ste enjoyed a little discomfort with his pleasure.
Groaning into Ste, Brendan breathed in his sleep-heavy body and let his eyes slip closed. His tongue fucked him in shallow and then deeper strokes, repaying his stunned cries. Then without chance of recovery, Brendan wrestled him onto his back, spreading his legs apart. He held the base of Steven's spine in his hands and took his thrusts into command, taking his cock deep into his mouth. Ste writhed, limbs and head thrown across the bed like his movements were uncontrollable. Brendan saw him slip from raptured wild to eyes and mouth clenched, struggling to cry anything but sounds. Brendan could never tire of it.
When spent, Ste looked dragged through a storm, his eye other worldly. Brendan smoothed down his appearance in the bathroom mirror, rinsing his mouth. They were about to return back to their lives.
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April – Amy
She felt tears rise up into her eyes, boiling them. Her hand shook against the side of the cup. She looked at Leah in the play area and then back to Ste. Unsurprisingly his head was bowed, guilt coming off him in ugly fumes.
"What the hell are you playing at Ste?" she said. She tried to keep her voice down in the café but the anger took over. Thankfully the low hubbub of the other customers muffled her outrage. "I don't even feel like I know you."
"You're acting like, like, I chose to get involved in this!"
"And didn't you?"
"No!" he cried, causing a passing waiter to jolt at the volume. Ste's voice lowered again. "It just happened."
She scoffed. Those clichéd lines. "Before or after Adam proposed?" Amy asked like it mattered. She felt crushed just thinking of Adam. His world would be broken.
"After…sort of."
"What do you mean, sort of?"
Ste had that shifty look again, like he used to get at school and before they grew up, like when she found out he was being beaten black and blue by his step dad, like when he confessed to being gay. "We've known each other – just sorta keep bumping into each other – for ages, years. We didn't do anything not for ages-"
"Oh well that makes it okay then!"
"Hear me out will ya?!" Ste said, banging his fist on the table. Amy's tea slopped into the saucer. "It went on and on for years, all this skirting around…flirting. And then he kissed me and I wanted to so we did and then things happened and keep happening…"
Amy shook her head, pressing her hands across her face. "So why haven't you come clean with Adam and ended it? Why are we here today?! We're supposed to be getting bits for the wedding!"
Ste grimaced. "I know," he said. "But it's complicated."
"How?"
"Well I love Adam, don't I?" Ste said, weakly. His fingers twisted and untwisted the ring. "Wanna spend the rest of my life with him."
"Do you?"
"Of course I do!"
"And what about this other bloke?"
"I don't love him…" Ste said as if he'd been accused. His eyes had bloomed wide when he said it, his head recoiling. He flushed red. "He's married."
"Married?!" Amy's hands flew into the air. "Steven!" She had every intention of picking up her bags and walking out on him, but at that moment Leah came charging over and threw herself at her godfather Ste. With Billy out of the picture, he was practically a father to her.
"Alright sweetheart?" he said, clearly pleased at the distraction. "Are you ready to buy a beautiful bridesmaid dress?"
"Yes!" Leah said, her grin spreading wide.
Amy's glare was fixed right at him.
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Even though they hadn't had much chance to talk, Amy's anger had been chipped away by Leah's excitement at trying on dresses, although being surrounded by reminders of weddings weren't helping. Her mind ached with the questions: How could Ste be betraying Adam like this? Adam who would do anything for him, Adam who helped him pay for a new start: new job, new flat, new life. And he was prepared to squander all this for the odd sordid night in a grimy hotel for a relative stranger – a married man! What did he really know about this man?!
They were making their way back to the bus station, considering stopping off for a sandwich when Amy spotted Eileen Brady coming out of a kitchenware store. It was the pram she spotted first, sleek and modern; it was a Mercedes of the buggy world. She wasn't surprised, after all she'd heard from Eileen herself (she was quite the boaster) that her husband wasn't shy of flashing the cash. Eileen never said it but Amy sensed that he wasn't around for the family much but contributed with his wallet.
"Hello!" Amy said, tapping her on the shoulder. They hugged immediately and Amy was lost in cooing over the gorgeous little Aoife when she realised her rudeness at having not introduced Ste.
"This must be Dean?" Eileen said, assuming Ste was Amy's boyfriend. She nodded her head in Ste's direction.
Amy looked towards him, but all his words seemed to have dried up so she spoke for him. "This is my oldest and best friend Ste; he's Leah's godfather too."
Eileen smiled and then looked towards her husband, a tall, dark and brooding man with a striking moustache. "This is Brendan who you've heard all about."
The men looked at each other, without so much as a grunt – as men do when they're awkwardly introduced by women. Something in Eileen's husband changed and he struck out his hand, smiling tightly. "Pleasure to meet you, Amy." He was alarmingly handsome, charming.
"No Paddy with you today then?" Amy asked as Leah held onto Ste's legs. He didn't bother to contribute to the conversation but she still resented him so was glad of his disinterest.
"Ach no, he's at Scottie Lewis's birthday – you know the one?" Eileen said. She looped her arm around Brendan's waist. "We're just getting some bits while we've gotta bit of peace. And you?"
"Dresses!" Leah chipped in, almost falling forward in her excitement.
"We've been looking at bridesmaids dresses for Leah. Ste's getting married," Amy said, with a charged look towards Ste.
"Oh congratulations," Eileen said, her face creasing with a smile. Her husband offered a polite smile too but remained silent. "God we've got our 20th anniversary coming up in a few years!"
Brendan gave his wife's middle a squeeze. "Feels like only yesterday," he said kissing the side of her head. "When's the big day?" he asked, directing it at Ste but not quite looking at him.
Ste's reply wasn't the response of a man happy and excited about it. He gave his response quietly and reluctantly. "Next summer."
Brendan pulled his mouth into an arch like he was considering it and nodded. He looked at Amy and despite herself, his gaze made her heart flutter. "Me and the missus have got a swanky hotel booked for our anniversary this year," he said.
"Have we?!" Eileen said. Perhaps most wives would be swept off their feet by a seemingly spontaneous and romantic gesture – even Amy herself was matching Brendan's grin – but not Eileen. She seemed more suspicious than anything.
"Well it was supposed to be a surprise but as we're talking grand romantic gestures…"
Amy side-glanced Ste, she could tell he was still stinging from their earlier conversation.
"We'll leave you to it," Amy said, shuffling off and almost jealous of the way Brendan had his arm wrapped around Eileen's shoulders. It was a shame Dean wasn't so affectionate in public.
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April - Brendan
His lips ravaged Ste's apart, his tongue poker hot and licking the moans out of him. His body was the only one to cave to Brendan's desires but fight back with an equal lust. When Brendan pushed against him, Ste's lips sucked at his, teeth grazing his lips. Their bodies were slick with cum. It was a hook-up spurred by jealousy. As soon as they'd met up in town Brendan had him on the phone, commanding him to meet. He'd rattled Ste into jealousy too, it turned out, and managed to make him come even before he had stepped out of his underwear. He'd stroked him with single digits all the while whispering his intentions slow and darkly into his ear. In the end all it had taken was Brendan nuzzling him with nose and tongue through his boxer shorts in a torturous tease to have his knees buckling.
Brendan trudged to reception to buy some condoms. He'd left Ste in bed, mouth red and eyes glassy. He didn't keep notes but the boy gave the best head he'd ever had. Fearless. Determined. Tight. Steady breaths in and out from his nose. He made sweet little coos of enjoyment when his lips glossed over the head, rubbing friction with his tongue. They made Brendan want to pin him down onto the bed and fuck him forever.
The blonde girl at reception, the same one as usual, seemed to be keeping herself busy on her mobile, texting – or tweeting, whatever it was the kids do. Declan was the same, never off it. He'd be off to university soon. He was almost a man. The girl – Kelly, her name badge said – looked up from her screen to acknowledge Brendan's existence and then returned back to it when she saw he was only interested in the vending machine.
Brendan typed in the keypad for the lubricated johnnies and the packet of Skittles Steven had asked for. Skittles! Still, his kisses might taste of strawberry and that was more favourable than tasting his own cum.
When he returned to the bedroom Steven was clearly texting his fancy-man as he sneaked his phone away as soon as Brendan had clicked the door locked.
"Missing you already is he?" Brendan asked dryly.
Ste's mouth tightened with irritation. "Did you get my Skittles?"
"Knock yourself out," Brendan said throwing the packet at him.
Ste considered them for a moment and then rose up to kneel, having a change of tact. He patted the bed down. "Don't get like that, not when we're not here for long." Ste couldn't stay the whole night apparently. He was on the clock. He had plans.
Brendan sighed, slumping down on the bed. He wasn't going to get mad at Ste, but he resented the lack of control inflicted on him. Steven saddled up beside him, beginning to undress him.
"You in a hurry?"
Ste took Brendan's hand and pushed his finger inside the warm cleft of his arse, straddling Brendan's lap. "I just want you," he said, almost timidly, pleadingly. Brendan sculpted his hands over Ste's hairy thighs, leaving white pressure marks where his skin was tender.
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May – Kelly
Kelly felt a painful swell of nerves block her throat as she stood on Declan's doorstep. It took a lot of guts for her to agree to meet a guy's parents, but she'd been dating Declan for about four months and he thought it'd be nice.
His mum welcomed her in immediately, the smells of dinner wafting through the air as she stood in the hallway. Eileen seemed thrilled to have her as a house guest although she was clearly stressed at having a one year old in the house. Still, Kelly felt comfortable enough to cuddle up with Declan on the sofa before dinner.
As they were settled at the table the front door crashed closed.
"That'll be da," Declan said, half rolling his eyes. She'd picked up from the little Declan had revealed that him and his dad weren't close. For starters there weren't any photos of them on Facebook and Declan said he was always working.
"In here," Eileen called out and Kelly tried to quickly finish her mouthful so that she could greet Declan's dad.
When he came in through the kitchen door, dressed in his trademark suit her heart stopped, the colour draining from her face. She knew that face. She'd seen him countless times in the past year. She couldn't forget. Always paying in cash. Always with the same young guy. Always there clearly to have sex with him. Sometimes spending the night, sometimes leaving before.
She felt like she was going to throw up and Declan's dad looked the same.
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August – Eileen
"You still haven't told me!" Amy said, placing down her Pimms. They were sat in Eileen's garden. Paddy and Leah in the paddling pool and Aoife napping in the shade. "How was your anniversary away?"
Eileen rolled her eyes. "Don't even go there," she said, "Brendan only got called in for some work emergency. Police raid or something." Retelling the story made it sound even more fake than when Brendan had told it himself; she knew that. She had half hoped that by going away for the night they might rekindle something. Brendan had lost all his drive; they hadn't had sex in four months. She'd tried. God she'd tried everything. Even the awful magazine sex tips. Trying to do it with a baby next door was a bit of a mood killer but she'd made the effort on several occasions. And it wasn't as if the time four months ago had been particularly pleasurable. She'd given him a blow job and then far from the romantic moment she'd envisioned afterwards he'd taken her from behind and kept the lights off. He'd muttered about trying other things (what was it with men and their obsession with anal sex?) but they'd done it once in their twenties and she'd sworn never again, so it was another no. Since then he'd barely touched her.
"Oh no, what a shame," Amy said. Distracted momentarily by looking over to the kids.
"How's your friend getting on with the wedding planning?" Eileen asked, resisting the urge to reveal it'd be doomed in a few years like hers was. Even more so that he was having one of these gay weddings. That was wrong to start with.
Amy looked thoughtful for a moment. "Can I tell you something? Only it's a complete secret and Ste would absolutely kill me if it got out. Not to mention…"
Eileen leant in close, like they were best friends. "Course. I swear."
Amy flattened out her skirt. "Only, Ste's been…and it's been really difficult to me knowing but Ste's…"
"Go on…"
"He's been having an affair with a married man."
"Jesus Christ," Eileen said, "Oh how awful." She shook her head and then took a long drink.
"It's been going on for months. I just…I just don't know what he's thinking!"
"Well, maybe what they say is true about gay men you know – they just can't settle down. It's all about sex for them." Eileen shrugged. "I'm sure your Ste's a nice guy but what about his poor boyfriend. And a married man? Jesus. His poor wife."
