Disclaimer: Kim Possible is property of Disney. Other things referenced in this story may belong to Disney, Twentieth Century Fox, Marvel, or DC Comics. This story is not for profit.
~KPFA10~
Kim Possible 10th Annual Fannie Awards
Chapter 8
Slipgate was getting worried. He hadn't seen whitem in a while. Nico Nico Douga had already ended, with the audience processing what it is they just saw. Now there were only about two minutes before the hosts were due on stage. He checked both side wings of the stage, the back of the stage behind the rigging and screen, the (ulp) bathrooms, and even the storage area located under the stage itself.
Heck, he even checked back in the storage closest whitem had been unwittingly dumped in after Yapsby had knocked him out.
There could only be one other place his co-host could be. whitem had to be in the *shudder* break-room.
The break-room was located in the darkest part of the building, way in the back, and only half a floor down. It was such a weird location and design that it was only referred to as… (dun , dun, duuunnn) The Dungeon.
The Dungeon had only three amenities: A Ping Pong table without a net and one paddle, a vending machine from the '50s that held its original candy from the same decade, and a microwave that had to be even older as the thing weighed about a hundred pounds and only had half a cubic foot of space inside.
There, Slipgate finally found whitem. He was standing in front of the vending machine with a nickel poised to insert in the slot, but he wasn't dropping it in.
"whitem…" Slipgate started slowly, "In all my studies, and all the (cough) fictional (cough) travels I have been on, I have found out that there are at least a billion worlds out there in the universe, and about 10 percent of them land within the habitable zone around their sun. Of that 20 percent, there's only about a .1 percent chance that there is a sentient species on that planet. Of that .1 percent, there's an even smaller chance that the species is carbon-based, like ours. Please don't threaten the life of the one called whitem."
His co-host stood still for a moment and then slowly turned. "A little over-dramatic there aren't we, Bones?"
Slipgate cracked a smile. "Tell you what… If you can get through the last of the Fannies, I'll buy you a double cheeseburger with everything and…" Immediately he saw a blank look on his friend's face. "Sorry… let's just say it will be a big meal at the best burger joint in town. You won't want any more."
whitem shook his head to break the hallucination that Slipgate was turning into a very large strawberry shake. "Deal. Man… I really shouldn't have skipped breakfast and lunch today."
"Yeah, you shouldn't have. It feels like this day has gone on for months." A tingle appeared at the base of Slipgate's skull, reminding him that there was another breach of the fourth-wall etiquette. "Now let's get out there and see if we can finish up, OK? Before everyone leaves to watch Star Wars instead of us."
"Just so CajunBear and Sentinel let up on the food references, I'll be fine."
"I'll make sure they do. Now let's get going. We have less than a minute to get back on stage. We may even have to pull out our 'special equipment' to get there." With that, whitem fired up the small engines that popped up out of his back, and Slipgate started to hover a couple of feet off the floor before they started to race to the stage entrance.
~KPFA10~
The two hosts arrived just in time to enter the stage with CajunBear and Sentinel, and after everyone took their places, Slipgate started.
"In an attempt to hurry things up a bit, we will be presenting four awards in this round, rather than three. The first one concerns youth. Something nobody up here has, as they get reminded every morning the 5 o'clock shadow shows up in the mirror. Anyway, it seems that every year we get new young authors that equal and even surpass some of our most seasoned writers."
whitem then added, "And even though most authors on the site are younger than me…"
An anonymous voice piped up, "Yeah, so hurry it up, old man!"
whitem cleared his throat, as there were a few chuckles throughout the crowd and continued. "This award goes to an author who is under the age of eighteen. CajunBear? Sentinel? I'm not sure which one of you is carrying the envelope, but would you be so kind as to announce the winner?"
"I believe that's me." CajunBear said as he reached into his jacket and pulled out the envelope. "The winner this year for Best Young Author is… Iapsa!"
The young author walked up to the stage and took Sentinel's podium as he stepped back to pick up the young man's award.
"Hey guys. I've been missing you a lot lately. First of all, I need to thank you for voting for me again, cause I NEVER thought I'd get to be Best Young Author once again. Time is passing by really fast. I joined the Kimmunity at thirteen, and now next month I'm turning 18. Probably this is the last time for me in this category, and I feel honored for having taken your votes. I don't even feel like I deserve it, truly.
It's funny, because a couple of years ago I missed my fanfics a lot and started re-reading them from the first one on. Maybe that's a sign that the Kimmunity will never go out of my heart. Actually, I'm sure it is, cause every break that I have, every little moment where I feel empty or stressed, it is to fanfics that I cling to. Or to my trilogy, which I'd never have started if it wasn't for all the advice and feelings of home you guys gave to me.
I love you. Thanks and I miss you everyday."
After taking his Golden Rufus, Iapsa held it high and walked off the stage to an enthusiastic round of applause.
~KPFA10~
Sentinel opened the next segment. "Our next award is for the Best New Author. They could be 14, they could be 40, they could be 400!"
whitem added, "But if you are, let us know how."
"Point is," Sentinel continued, "they're new to this Kim Possible fanfiction thing as of this past year. The author you all have chosen to recognize for this award is…"
He gestured to Slipgate, who had retrieved the envelope.
Slipgate opened it and announced, "EchidnaPower!"
Slipgate just as quickly had to jump back as the speedy author took his podium. Idly he wondered if he should race the speed of Superman against him.
EchidnaPower accepted his Rufus and looked at it, his eyes goggled. Finally he turned to the audience and began, haltingly.
"I-I'm...I'm speechless. I just...you know, I've always fought to make sure my stories didn't just have good plots, I wanted to make sure that the characters were believable and recognizable, as well as writing in a way that the dialogue was exactly what you would expect from any particular character.
If there's one author I have to say thank you to for helping me and inspiring me to join this community, it's my good friend Mahler Avatar. We've exchanged several messages over the course of the past several months, I've gotten to know him and I'm proud to call him my brother in Christ. God Bless you man, thanks for all your help and for inspiring me to join the Kimmunity with your incredible stories. I'm proud to have you call me EP.
So again, thank you everyone for voting for me. I never could've expected to be voted for as the best new author, but I will do my very best to make sure I'm worthy of this award and title."
EchidnaPower bowed and soaked in the audience applause before dashing away.
~KPFA10~
"All right, it's my turn to present one here I think." Slipgate said, as he floated back to his podium.
"Our next award is for the best single line in a story. Ever since this category got introduced I've gotten a kick out of it. You can recognize a story as being a great romance, or a great adventure, or so on, but there are moments in the stories I like that you really think kick… butt. Yeah, butt is what I was about to say. Whether it's when we were first watching The Fellowship of the Ring in 2001 and my niece went "yes!" in my hearing as Aragorn managed to finally get the orc that he'd been fighting near the end of the movie at the Falls of Rauros, or when Ricardo Montalban as Khan and William Shatner as Kirk talk at a table in his quarters where Kirk reveals he knows who Khan is and Khan says something creepy that makes Kirk realize just how dangerous this guy can be in the original Star Trek episode 'Space Seed,' or the moment in the Jurassic Park movie where the T-Rex pops in to frame to grab the raptor… when I'm enjoying stories there are favorite parts where there's an awesome line, or a release of tension, or a point driven home… 'Obi Wan has taught you well…' is one from Return of the Jedi… Anyway, this is my long way of saying that when I'm actually reading a story there are those moments that represent that awesome moment in the story. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, they can be encapsulated in a line from the story. For me, this favorite line category represents the cool moments in a story that really satisfy me or represent what satisfies me about the story, whatever genre it might be."
The audience had grown silent.
"Ah… anyway, that's why I like this category. Now let me present the award for Best Single Line to…"
CajunBear opened an envelope and finished his sentence, "purplegirl761!"
whitem added, "It's worth noting for context that the line here was 'No matter who you're fighting or what they've done – there's a person in there, Kimmy.' from The Princess and the Dragon."
purplegirl got up from her table and walked over, stunned and reflective.
She took whitem's podium when offered and began.
"This one left me a little speechless, too. It's super-exciting for me because that line basically forms the heart and soul of The Princess and the Dragon.
One of the reasons I was drawn to Kim Possible in the first place was its quirky villains. Even years and years later, I haven't seen many shows do a better job at humanizing their bad guys, showing us that they have overprotective mothers, obnoxious brothers, and self-image issues just like all of us. You couldn't help feeling just a little bit sorry for these guys and gals when they lost – even if you wouldn't like to imagine the world in their hands!
There's just a basic regard for them as people, which is what makes Monkey Fist's ultimate fate so sobering. Kim herself makes fun of the villains at every turn, but with only a couple of exceptions, she doesn't treat them with the hate no one would blame her for. She worries about their well-being and puts herself in danger to save them quite a few times, like on 'Cap'n Drakken.' She's a fierce, kick-butt heroine, but also one with a really big heart.
It's not hard to see where she gets it. Both of her parents are tough-but-tender people. It's obvious from how they act in the series that they wouldn't discourage her kicking villain rear, so I didn't want them to give her an anti-violence speech so much as a reminder to balance it out with compassion. I saw Ann being just a bit quicker to offer that than James – who, of course, would agree with her wholeheartedly. (It's tough to give James a fair shake in a Drakken-centered fic, but I tried my darndest.)
Again, I'd like to thank everyone who's been a reader, a reviewer, or a friend during the four years it took to get this baby from 'In the beginning' to 'The End.' It was NOT an easy journey, but it has been (as Kim would say) SO worth it. This means so much to me.
Yeah, I know those last couple lines were corny. But, hey – the truth is the truth. Love you guys."
Slipgate smiled as he presented her the Golden Rufus and the audience clapped hard.
She indicated she wanted to whisper in his ear, so he bent an ear toward her.
"Is the punch safe?" she asked.
Slipgate quirked his eyes at her in reminder of her older story, then said, "It should be."
"Good. I need some after that speech. But you should drink some now too."
"Uh, why?"
"Isn't your mouth dry after all that talking?"
"Oh ha ha." he grumped.
Smiling, she went back to her chair.
~KPFA10~
whitem got everyone's attention. "Folks! Normally we'd be going to an intermission now, but as mentioned earlier, we're doing one last category before our last intermission."
"Our next award is for Best Reviewer," Sentinel began. "There are a fair number of people who do a good job of trying to encourage folks or give them constructive criticism consistently. This award is meant to recognize that contribution to it even feeling like people should bother writing here."
"So who is our winner?" Slipgate asked.
"You tell us, oh bearer of the envelope." whitem joked.
"Oh, right." Slipgate said, and then tore the envelope open.
"This year the Best Reviewer award goes to… CajunBear73!"
Shocked at being a returning recipient of the award, CajunBear is stunned as he tries to come over to Slipgate's podium before he realizes he already has one of his own. whitem holds out the Golden Rufus to him. Taking the Golden Rufus in hand, he turns from whitem to the microphone.
"First of all, no one is more surprised than I am at being awarded for this again, but I do thank those who nominated me, and voted for me this year. I appreciate the consideration and am humbled by it. Though I don't chime in to the tales on the KP Site for this…" he said, holding the award up slightly, "…I do thank you just the same. And I'll continue to do what I do best when I review: advice, encouragement, welcome and sometimes a snarky comment or two. Thank you."
The audience clapped again.
"Okay, folks," Slipgate began, "we're about to go to intermission again, and after that we're going to do the final four awards of the night."
whitem continued, "Some folks have gotten a kick out of our off-beat choices for intermission. This time… well, seeing as how after this ceremony is wrapped a huge movie is coming out in December of this year, we thought we'd give you a slight oldie but goodie."
"There's even a slight KP connection," CajunBear added.
"It's with that in mind that we give you something Star Wars related. For those who don't know, Patton Oswalt is the guy who played Professor Dementor on Kim Possible… and here is Patton Oswalt doing a Star Wars filibuster from about two years ago on Parks and Recreation. Enjoy!" Sentinel finished.
The hosts dispersed from the stage all headed to the back together as the screen pulled forward to show the video.
As the audience began to focus on the intermission, CajunBear turned to Sentinel. "Now let's get back to that jambalaya that I made earlier, it ought to be just about have the perfect consistency by now."
"Lead on big boy, my mouth is watering already," the skirt-wearing maniac laughed as he slapped his buddy on the back while not paying attention to his starving co-host.
"I hate you Sent," whitem hissed lowly as his stomach grumbled at the abuse it was receiving.
Slipgate put his hand on his co-host's shoulder, "Buddy keep your mind on the prize, and think pleasant thoughts like those two choking on a too-big piece of sausage or something."
To be continued…
P.S. If you've never seen Patton Oswalt's Star Wars filibuster thing, you owe it to yourself to watch it at least once. Search for it and enjoy. Can you tell at least one of us four is excited to see upcoming movie?
