Chapter Nine
Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. I've been away over Christmas and New Year. Onto the story…
Howard forced himself to chew and swallow the sludgy porridge. He had hoped that the act of putting the substance in his mouth would arouse some appetite within himself. His current level of anxiety and depression seemed to make eating, usually a pleasure, a complete chore.
He felt, rather than heard, Vince enter the room, from behind. The man gracefully stepped across the bare floorboards in sock clad feet. Howard felt soft fingers ruffle his hair, sending tendrils of warm pleasure out from his scalp throughout his body, focusing on his groin. He almost groaned when Vince pulled away and moved to sit opposite, placing his cereal before him.
"Howard… you know, I was thinking…" Vince swirled his spoon around his frosties.
"Hm…?"
"We need to get away. Maybe go to Euro Disney."
Howard's mind went to the six times they'd stayed at the Goofy lodge and tried his hardest not to show his agitation. But then, in its usual way of punishing himself, his mind went to the one year they didn't go to Euro Disney.
"How about Spain?' He was at least willing to compromise. Anywhere... as long as it wasn't the Goofy Lodge… or the wilderness, for that matter.
"Why Spain?" Vince asked.
"Why not? I heard somewhere that Madrid is a rather romantic city."
Vince looked up and smiled at him. "Really?"
His hair was still ruffled from sleep and his eyes appeared overly bright. Howard reached across the table and took the hand that wasn't spooning the cereal.
"Did I ever tell you how absolutely adorable you are in the morning?"
Vince's smile grew wider.
"Tell me exactly how adorable I am."
"Countlessly adorable. Cream clotted adorable."
Vince groaned. "I've become part of your cream poetry." He caught the hurt that momentarily crossed Howard's face. "And it's wonderful." He added, lifting up the other's hand and kissing it.
"Is Spain good for shopping?"
Howard felt a tiny spark ignite inside him. This sounded like the fashion obsessed man he knew.
"I'm sure it's good for everything."
"Even pancakes?"
"Especially pancakes.
"Panacaka Panacaka…" Both began. Within a minute they had finished a perfectly executed crimp . Howard laughed. He was experiencing a moment of pure magic. He wasn't thinking about the flashbacks of merely hours before, nor worry about the future. He was simply in the moment with the love of his life. He couldn't possibly be happier.
Then heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs, leading from the Nabootique. Within minutes, Bollo's familiar irritated face came into view.
"Howard and Vince must leave. Now!"
"What's going on?" Howard demanded.
"Bollo?" Vince simply looked concerned.
"No ask questions. Naboo said. You must leave."
"But-"
That's when the voice sounded up the stairs.
"Vincey! Don't you remember me? Don't you remember ol' Kodiak Jack?"
All the colour drained from Vince's face, his eyes wide, unseeing.
Howard launched into action. He stood up, propelling his chair into the wall opposite with such force it created a dent in the plaster. He then threw himself around the table opposite, grabbing Vince's arm to thrust him out of the chair. Though the other complied, it felt as though he was handling a wax statue.
"Come on, Vince. Let's leave." He said, as he started to walk forward, towards the rear hall. There was a back door in the laundry that lead to the outside. Vince followed, still wearing the disturbing blank expression. Howard wasn't concerned. First he'd get Vince out of immediate physical danger, then he would worry about his psychological state.
They hurried down the hall to the second room on the left, where the washing machine was sloshing around what appeared to be dragon vomit. Howard didn't have time to consider one of Naboo's experiments. He twisted the lock to the back door opened it to the windy stairs leading to the street. A frigid gust of frigid wind hit them.
We can't go out like this, he thought. We'll freeze.
"Stay here." He ordered the still statue like man. Vince's room was the closest. From Vince's floor, he easily located an electric- blue- goose- feathered- one- of- a kind- coat from top shop as well as a lama woolen poncho. Ears pricked for any more noise fromthe potential rapist, he sprinted back to the laundry room. Vince stood facing the door, shivering slightly. Howard shoved the poncho over his shoulders and pulled his arms through the electric blue coat, before shoving open the door and grabbing Vince's hand.
He waited until they were four blocks from the Nabootique slowing pace. Vince had not said a word the entire time. They were facing a very green park. He could just make out a frozen duck pond in the centre, surrounded by willows.
"Come on, Vince. Why don't we go sit by the pond for a bit?"
His friend still shivered, slightly. Howard put and arm around him and guided him to the sole bench situated before the iced over water. There was no one about, for which Howard was relieved. He didn't wish for anyone to see them both like this. Both traumatized. Both fearful.
They sat down on the uncomfortably hard, cold wood. Vince snuggled closer to his warmth, resting his head against Howard's chest. The other man took the opportunity to stroke his hair. Both were silent a moment.
"I didn't want to think it was a big deal. But… I guess it was. I know I made a joke about it. Oh, I was almost bummed by grizzly adams. But it was horrible, Howard. He was right on top of me. I couldn't get away. And he smelt so bad. I was so scared."
Howard tried to ignore the guilt slicing through his stomach.
"Sh… it's over now, little man."
"I kept thinking, if it wasn't for Nicky Clarke."
Howard stroked his other hand down Vince's back, feeling the muscles tremble.
"Why does everyone want to hurt me?" He said it in such an unsure way. Howard felt as though he'd been physically punched in the stomach. Gulping down the pain Vince's words caused, he concentrated on saying anything to make him feel better.
"Hush now. People don't want to hurt you. They want to hurt me, remember? I'm the dark, angsty one."
"Not anymore."
"You will get over this Vince. I know it. It will take time but you will. You're strong."
He could feel the undulations from Vince's chest as he laughed. The sound was surprisingly hollow.
"I don't feel strong."
"I think you'll surprise yourself."
Howard looked across the frozen lake. He could just make grey apartment blocks in the far distance. He wondered what was happening at the Nabootique. Surely Naboo would take care of the grizzled intruder.
A sound drew his attention back to the one in his arms. Howard almost drew away in alarm. In the entire time he'd seen him, he'd never seen this.
Vince was crying. Openly sobbing. Howard could feel the wetness on his chest, feel the tremors in the other's slim body increase.
No, no this couldn't be. Howard had cried in front of Vince before. Often when he thought he was going to die. But Vince… he was so good at holding his emotions in. Always bubbly, always happy. There's no darkness to the world. Only sunshine and rainbows and flowers and…
"Oh Vince." Howard wrapped his arms around him tighter, started to kiss his hair. He brought one arm forward and gently lifted his chin up, to look at the tear stained beautiful face. Howard kissed the salty tears, kissed his nose, kissed his cheeks, his pointy chin. Finally, his mouth. Both snaked their tongues inside, vying for dominance.
Finally, they released, both panting.
"I'm sorry." Vince looked down. Howard could almost read his thoughts.
I lost control.
He reached his hand under his chin and lifted it once more. "It's ok to cry. It doesn't make you weak."
Vince nodded, eyes still a little haunted. "I think I've needed a good cry for the past week."
"Feel better?"
Vince appeared to think about it.
"Actually, yes. I do. Exhausted but better."
He snuggled into Howard's chest once more.
"When do we go back? What are we going to do?"
"I'm sure Naboo will send someone to fetch us."
"What do you think Kodiak Jack wanted?"
Howard was surprised by the question. He was almost about to answer 'Why you of course' but thought better of it.
Vince doesn't know my part in the Kodiak Jack thing. And I want to keep it that way.
He tightened his hold around Vince's back.
Tbc…
