A/N: Hi, guys. Remember me? I didn't die, I swear. We're about two weeks from the end of the semester here, which means things are absolutely bananas for the moment. But I haven't forgotten you!
Happy Memorial Day, if you live somewhere where they celebrate Memorial Day. It's been claimed that the town near where I live actually created the tradition of Memorial Day, so we kind of take it seriously. Like, parade, carnival, street fair, the works. But that's neither here nor there.
I have big plans for this fic still, so fear not. This chapter is basically entirely Malec fluff (you've been warned), so if that's not you're thing, you can skip to the next chapter without missing any major plot details. I feel as if I should post two today anyway, because I took that little vacation.
Anyway, thanks to those who are sticking around and enjoy!
Chapter 9
ALEC POV
Alec closed the door to the Infirmary behind him, shaking his head at the two faces outside. They had waited, giving Jace and Clary their space, before going in, but now it seemed they had waited too long. A bizarrely touching tableau had met Alec's eyes upon entering the room- both of them sound asleep, in the early evening, in Clary's narrow hospital bed, a warm mess of limbs and blankets. And he couldn't bring himself to wake them, although he wanted to speak to them both. He could do it in the morning. And besides, he didn't blame them for falling asleep. Both emotionally and psychically, he was exhausted. Probably a side effect of battling several demons, losing a close friend, and gaining that same friend back all in the same day.
Turning to lead the others down the hallway, he felt as if each step was grinding him into the floor itself. Now that the adrenaline of the situation was wearing off, as well as his battle runes for strength and stamina, he felt exhaustion coming on fast.
"Magnus-" he turned to address his boyfriend, but found him missing. Isabelle was gone as well, presumably to bed. The day had taken just as much of a toll on her as it had on him. Maybe Magnus had gone home as well. Alec couldn't blame him- all he'd done was wait around all day in case they needed him- and the time of the High Warlock of Brooklyn was valuable. Too valuable to have been spent anxiously holding hands with Alec as they walked Jace back to the Institute, or watching Alec pace outside of the infirmary. Alec deflated. He'd probably gone home. And he knew that it didn't really make sense, but he'd hoped-
"Alec?" a voice called to him from further down the hallway. Magnus. Immediately, Alec straightened up, hurrying down the hallway to find the source of the voice. He picked his way past the staircase, taking a left towards the hallway that held their bedrooms. Not surprisingly, he found Magnus inside of his. He was staring up at the smattering of artifacts on Alec's shelves. His room was not meticulously neat like Jace's, nor was it as chaotic as Isabelle's. It was very… Alec.
"Magnus. You disappeared." Alec said, allowing a little bit of his relief to leak into his voice.
Magnus turned, his expression unreadable.
"I'm a warlock. We do that." His voice held traces of humor, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Magic?"
"Side door."
Now it was Alec's turn to grin, but he didn't have the energy. Instead, he collapsed against the bed, pulling a surprised Magnus down with him. Magnus didn't protest, but sat up, resting Alec's head on his lap. Absentmindedly, he ran his fingers through Alec's dark hair, drawing it up out of his eyes. His cat's eyes glittered distantly. never quite meeting Alec's. Alec pulled himself up into a sitting position next to him.
"What's the matter?" He asked quietly, focusing his eyes on Magnus's fingers, entwined with his. He could feel Magnus pulling away from him, as he always did when he didn't want to share something.
"Nothing," he said, but before Alec could protest, he extenuated. "At least, it should be nothing." Alec met his eyes curiously, unsure of where he was going. Magnus sighed. "Alexander, I'm immortal." Alec's gaze turned from one of curiosity to one of cold apprehension.
"I'm aware." he said flatly, but Magnus continued.
"I've known thousands of people who've died. Werewolves, shadowhunters, even other warlocks. And I'm not saying I'm numb to it, it's just… I've also seen a thousand different reactions to death. All the stages- bargaining, denial, whatever. But Jace today- when he thought Clary was dead- he just became… purposeless. Like he lost the will to live entirely, like he had nothing left to live for. And I know, maybe, with you and Isabelle, he could have gotten over it eventually. But never truly. He would always be empty inside. Half of a whole. And I worry, because…" Magnus trailed off, lifting his hand to Alec's face. "Because that's the way that I love you. Entirely."
"Magnus-" Alec interrupted, but was cut off.
"The difference is, for them, this was an accident. A horrible twist of circumstance. They were supposed to grow old together. Have children. For us it's an inevitability- that one day, whether it's in twenty years or eighty, you're going to die, and I'm going to be alone, and broken." His eyes burned cold into Alec's, and he released his face. "That's what is the matter." He turned, sitting at the edge of the bed, preparing as if to leave.
"Stop." Alec said softly, reaching out to tug Magnus back onto the bed. Magnus ignored his pull, but turned to face him. "I know. Everything that you've said is true and I know that. But we've always known that. So if you weigh this relationship and decide it's not worth the heartbreak, then you're free to go. I won't stop you. But you may not use what happened today as an excuse to pull away from me, do you understand? I… I need you." Alec drew in a breath. "I want you to stay." It was so vulnerable, that one statement. His instincts had fought him, telling him not to say it. But he had ignored them. And now his cards were on the table, and Magnus was silent.
"You want me to stay, or you need me to stay?" Magnus replied. "In case something goes wrong and you need your speed-dial warlock?" Under normal circumstances, Alec would have flinched at the words, but he could sense the hollowness behind them. Instead, he moved closer to Magnus, their faces inches apart in the dimly lit bedroom.
"I need you to stay." he said quietly. "But not because you're a warlock. Because you're Magnus and I love you, and I'm exhausted and I don't want you to go." And he closed the distance between them, pulling Magnus in for a sweet, growingly familiar kiss. Magnus softened finally, wrapping his arms around Alec.
"Then," he murmured against Alec's mouth. "I'll stay."
