A/N: I wonder if you guys even read these notes. Tell me you do, please! Let me test you.
RABBITS! Did that help? IDK. Anyway, since I haven't updated in two days, I've written this next chapter! YAY for early, same day update! 2 chapter in a day! WOO! :D Anyway, This chapter's probably not the greatest, but I hope you still like it! LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WHEN U REVIEW!
Chapter 9: Frustrated
Lizzie's POV
The next time I had opened my eyes, the sun was beaming through the windows, bouncing off the walls, making it too bright for my liking. But all I could remember too clearly was my dream from the night before with my conscience, who happened to take form into Alb-, uh Potter.
I hate dreams.
They make me go mental.
"Ugh." I groaned in my pillow.
"Ah, I see you're awake, Miss Hart." Miss Bones said as she approached me.
"Yeah, I guess." I mumbled. My eyes still adjusting to the bright light that filled the entire room.
"Well, I see your condition gave you a little warning. Don't worry. Now, every week, I want you to drop by and pick up a vile of your medication to calm down your chest. They're similar to pain relievers." She informed me as she handed me my medication.
"How long have I been out?"
"Three days. Not much, really." Madame Bones said. At that moment, I wondered whether they knew about my condition. "And if you're wondering. No, they don't know about your condition. Only Rose, so far. But I think you should talk to Miss Weasley about that topic in particular though." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion after I sighed in relief. I didn't want anyone to know. But why did Madame Bones want me to talk to Rose about it? But before I could ask, she spoke. "You've had a lot of visitors, by the way."
"Really?"
"Of course! All your friends came by. And other people, whom you didn't know. According to your friends. Miss Weasley (Rose) was persistent on leaving your side. So was that Potter boy. James, I believe his name was. And that amusing red head Weasley. Fred right? He resembles his father very much. You know, I knew his father and his twin back when I was at school. They were two years above me however. But anyway, many people came to see you dear."
"How about the other Potter boy?" I asked in a small voice.
"Al? Yes. He did. Though not as much as often as Miss Weasley, and James, of course. But, he's a good lad, though." She said. "Now, you'll be able to leave when lunch comes around. Oh, and Ms. Hart?"
"Yeah?"
"Good luck with the game tomorrow." She said, before leaving me. I was confused for a moment, then remembered the big game between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. I've been out that long! I really wasn't that fond of the Ravenclaw quidditch team. Bunch of snobs, the lot of them. Their captain's a complete arse and tried to feel me up last year. Michael Windly, his name was. When the boys found out, they made his life complete hell.
When I had finally gotten out of that incredibly stupid hospital robe, and into my school robes. I headed down to the Great Hall, to join my friends for lunch. As I headed down to the Great Hall, people kept on looking at me with sad looks on their face. Well, if know one knew about my condition, then everything was fine with me.
By now, I bet the entire castle's been buzzing about the incident at the pitch 3 days ago. Gossip spread fast at Hogwarts apparently. On my journey to go and eat, I couldn't help but hear what everyone was saying. Everyone was practically buzzing about my incident.
"…That's what you heard? I heard that she fell from her broom…"
"…Rubbish! She got knocked off!…"
"…I heard she's lost a lung…"
"…I heard that someone gave her mouth to mouth…"
"…I hope she's alright…"
"…I hear it's drugs. That's why she…"
"…That's not the right story! She choked on air th-…" Everyone of the stories they were telling each other were all a bunch of stupid lies. This sucked. No one knew the truth to anything. Even my own friends, aside from Rose, didn't know the truth.
When I got to the Great Hall, I was attacked by Rosie with a gigantic big bear hug. "Oomph!" I grunted as she attacked me. The woman's vicious, I tell you. She was practically clinging onto me. He feet was almost off the ground!
"Well look who's up and alive! You nearly scared me to death when you fell off that broom of yours." Fred said with Rose still hanging on to me for dear life. When Rose finally pulled back, I could see that she wanted to cry, but I gave her a look telling her not to.
I found myself dumbfounded when James hurried up to me, engulfing me in a similar bear hug Rose had given to me, after Rose pulled away. James was the 3rd closest to me from the lot of them, but sometimes, he wasn't around, so Freddy filled in. So practically, they both shared 3rd closest to me. But I was mostly surprised, because It was usually in Al-Um. Oh forget it, I'll say his bloody name! I was usually in Al's arms after Rose's hug. It felt weird not being close to him anymore. We were as far away as Hawaii was from the UK.
But James hug was more different. Very caring, and his arms around me tightened, like as if I would be gone forever. I guess by what happened, me falling off the broom, 80 feet up in the sky, and seeming that I almost died made it pretty scary.
I chuckled. "Uh hi, Jamsie." I said.
"I thought we were gonna lose you." He mumbled into the nook of my neck.
I looked at Rose, who was standing behind James and mouthed: What's up with him?
He was the most upset one. She mouthed back, with a nervous look on her face. After what seemed like forever, James finally let go of me. After that, I was engulfed into another huge hug again by the rest of the family. Ugh. It's just endless hugging when you have a load of friends who care about you. But I guess I liked it. It made up from the absence my father and my mother made in my life.
"Awww, you had me worried, Lizard!" Freddy exclaimed as he hoisted me up in air, swinging me around as he hugged me. I felt like a doll being swung in the arms of a little girl. I was greeted with a few more hugs before I could even sit down at the table. Aiden Wood even tried to hug me, but James told him to back off.
As per usual, I ate a lot during lunch. But as I ate I couldn't help but remember Al. I noticed that he didn't try and hug me. Which was good, because I didn't need his concern. But I could tell that he was certainly paying attention as I got all those hugs. When everyone was greeting me, I noticed that he wasn't standing, like most people. He was just simply sitting on the bench of the Gryffindor table. He kept on glancing my way, and I could feel his stare. But I refused to look at his face. I just couldn't. The only thing that made my day was the fact that I didn't see Maci around us during lunch.
I couldn't care anymore less for Al, but why was I so conscious of him.
"So what happened to me 3 days ago?" I asked everyone as I stuffed myself with yummy food. Props to the house elves for deliciousness.
For some reason, I found James tensed up beside me for some reason, but I shrugged it off. "Well, Madame Bones said you were dehydrated, exhausted, and had issues breathing." Rose explained. Huh. So that's the excuse they were told up.
"You just fell off that broom, Liz." James spoke up with a concerned tone in his voice.
The rest of the day passed by in a blur. I only had one class after lunch, which was potions. Surprisingly, James walked me all he way to the dungeons, even carrying my bag all of the sudden. It was sort of weird, his behavior. He was very careful of me, unlike before. On our way to the dungeons, he even told someone off when they accidentally bumped into me. I told him that he didn't need to walk me down to the dungeons, but he was persistent and insisted that he'd walk me down. He was suspicious. The way James was acting. He was a bit more protective of me.
Potions was rather boring to be honest. Professor Bell made us make a simple sleeping draught in class. It was quite simple and easy for me to make. The only thing that kept me going was me and Rose's absorbed conversation.
"So what did happen after I fell off my broom? What did everyone say?" I asked quietly asked Rose.
"You freaked us out really. You just fell off. It was a good thing that Fred caught you in time before you hit the ground. We sent you to the Hospital Wing when you weren't breathing. It was freaking us out! Lily was sobbing her eyes out! As well as me! You didn't have a pulse for crying out loud!" Rose hissed.
I shifted uncomfortably as I got off my stool, stirring the potion we were working on. I couldn't help but sneak a peek at the back of the room, which was where Al was. Usually he'd usually sit a table over by us, but today, he's started sitting at the very back, keeping his distance. Which I was quite thankful for.
When I looked over, I couldn't help but remember what happened by the lake a few days ago. It was weird being in the same room with my former best friend. He was talking to his potions partner, as he adds 2 blobs of Flobberworm Mucus to their cauldron. He didn't look quite the same compared to how he looked like at the beginning of the year before Maci. However, he managed to keep the same slightly messy hair. Bags were showing underneath his eyes a bit, looking like he barely had any sleep. Before, he had that bright and happy look on his face. But now, his light faltered a bit, making him look stressed. He was smiling however, or at least, trying. But I could see through it. He was smiling now, for sure. Trying to forget the things that stressed him. But when everyone's back were turned, he'd break down into sadness.
I could tell that he wasn't happy. How could I tell? His eyes. His eyes were a dead giveaway. It was what I noticed that was most different about him.
They weren't shining anymore. They use to glow, but now…It was different.
He lost his shine and glow.
As lame as that might sounds, it was true. Part of me wanted to go there and hug him to death until he was happy. I wanted to make up so badly. But the other half was telling me to refrain from telling him my secret. It was also reminding me that I hated him. I hated him for choosing a girl he didn't quite seem the enjoy being around. He made me cry and upset. And since he was my best friend, at the time, he wasn't suppose to do anything like that. But I guess it was partly my fault. I knew he wanted to talk to me before. But because of Maci, I couldn't speak to him.
But I couldn't help by admit that I missed Al. He was almost everything to me. He was my best friend, a shoulder for me cry on, and a person to go to for comfort. He was always there for me. He helped me, cared for me, and he worried for me. We went through so much together. I hated seeing all of that go to waste. But what he did hurt me. He knew me so well. But because he was so close to me, and because I cared a lot about him. It was easy for him to hurt me.
If it was Maci, or any other classmate of mine, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't get so worked up on something that wasn't that of a big deal if it was from them. But because it was Al, doing something simple just like leaving me, could break me down.
Rose seemed to have noticed me looking at him. She knew me well enough that I was thinking about him. "You're thinking about him. Aren't you?" She asked softly when we finished our potion. We were the first to finish. So we were just waiting in our seats.
It took a moment for me to answer her. But I nodded slowly. "Did he say anything?" I asked slowly.
She thought for a moment. "Not in many words. He was scared and worried, you know. He looked really upset. He thought you died when we saw that you didn't have a heartbeat. He didn't want you to leave this world, knowing that you hated him."
"Did he visit? You know…While I was in the hospital?"
"Well the lot of us visited you all the time during those 3 days. We visited in the morning, lunch, and before dinner to check up on you. Al would come with us a few times, sometimes he wouldn't come around. I don't know if he came by himself though. He was pretty gutted. Didn't speak for a bit. We're still pretty mad at him though. We didn't speak a lot to Al. We don't even acknowledge Maci at all anymore. She's being a brat about it. But Maci is Maci. World's most annoying bird. She could give Anabeth Skeeter a run for her money."
I smiled a bit, noticing the fact that he cared a bit. But then again, I was still upset at him.
After potions, I headed straight to the library, but then I bumped into someone.
Someone who kept on recurring in my mind.
Okay, okay. Enough of the suspense. It was Al.
Duhhh.
Now that I was up close to him, I was able to get a better look at him.
And he looked stressed. Not to mention frustrated, and annoyed. He almost looked sick.
He seemed to be quite shock that I was the one who he bumped into.
"Oh." He perked up. "Hi. You're out of the hospital wing. How're you feeling?"
I shrug, then nod. Signaling that I was alright at the moment. Without another word, I walked around him and continued on straight to the library.
"Wait!" He exclaim, grabbing ahold of my hand. I stared at it for a moment, then pulled my hand away. I looked into his eyes when he grabbed by hand. They were filled with sadness. They were almost pleading, begging me to give in. But I had to resist. I had to.
"No." I tell him.
"Everything alright here?" I hear a voice behind Al say.
It was James. He walked to my side, placing a hand on my shoulder. Once again, I just nod.
"I need to talk to her, James." Al tells him.
"No. She obviously doesn't want you to talk to her. She's got enough on her mind already." And with that, he placed an arm around me, then we head off to the direction of where I was going.
"Are you going to the library too?" He asked.
"Yeah." I say softly.
"How're you holding up with the whole Al thing." He asked, concerned.
I sighed heavily. "To be honest. I'm pretty gutted about it. I want to make up with him, because he's my best friend. But then again, I hate him. You know?" He nods.
"I have to say though. He does miss you."
"Course he does. There's no one to steal off the bacon off his plate anymore. He has to eat more." I say as he chuckled. "Are all you Potter men so confusing?"
"Not really. We just think differently."
We eventually arrived at the library, and we sat together and studied. Him being a year above me, he was able to give me the answers to my Herbology homework. I hate herbology with a passion. It was so irritating and frustrating. I wasn't a very patient person when it came to growing things.
When it was already close to 4:30 PM, James and I decided to head back to the common room. While we were in the library, I couldn't help but notice James staring at me. It wasn't in some kind of stalker way, or in some kind of infatuated way. It was more of like he was observing me. Out of the corner of my eye, I was observing back. I mean, why wouldn't you stare at the person who's staring at you? I was kind of confused.
When I looked up to look at him, he'd look away. He looked almost…Guilty.
We were both walking to the common room from the library, when all of a sudden, he stopped walking.
"James?" I asked worriedly. I looked at his face, and he seemed nervous. Or troubled. Maybe both.
He sighed after he swallowed heavily. "I need to talk to you." He spoke nervously.
"Okay?" I asked, obviously confused.
"Not here." He said. He then started walking, grabbing my wrist, pulling me along with him. Next thing I know, we were in the Room of Requirement. I had spent a lot of times in here. Mostly to hid, or to plan a prank. Or somewhere where me and my friends simply hang out. This place can get seriously huge. At one point at out times in Hogwarts, we decided to play quidditch in here. The place got seriously huge when we played here. We only played here though, when it was raining.
No one really knew about this place. It was private.
Oh no.
I anxiously wondered why James wanted to talk to me here. Of ALL places in this castle.
"James," I began. "You're kind of freaking me out right now. Why're we here!"
"Calm down, Liz." He said. "I'm not going to kill you, or anything."
I felt a little relief release though.
The ROR, was formed into a simple room. There wasn't much. There was just a bunch of pictures of the previous Dumbledore's Army stuck up on the wall, a couch, and a fireplace.
I stood quietly, leaned against the walls of the room. James was just looking about the room. We stayed in silence for awhile.
"When were you gonna tell us?"
I was completely taken aback. What the bloody hell was he talking about!
"W-what?" I spluttered.
"About you're condition, Liz." He said calmly.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about."
He turned to look at me, straight in the eyes. "Don't hide it, Lizzie. I already know. And so does Rose. Now tell me, when were you going to tell us? " He asked as he walked to me.
I slid down the wall, and landed onto the ground. I shuted my eyes tightly. I didn't want to be in this situation right now. So this is why he was so protective and careful of me. I shook my head. "I wasn't."
The whole conversation was just completely depressing. I swear, James wanted to cry. But trying to be manly, he held it in. What a wuss.
Apparently, he found out when Madame Bones and Rose were talking about my condition. He confronted Rose, and she explained. He promised not to say anything about it.
To be honest, it was the most serious and deep talk James and I had shared. I think that's about how deep he gets. It was nice seeing it as it lasted.
Weird.
James never does deep. The deepest he got was when that one girl, Charlotte, I think her name was, dumped him back a few years ago.
Al's POV
I walked away after James and my Izzie walked away. I wanted to apologize to her so much. I almost wanted to beg. I wanted my Izzie back. And we're all in this stupid situation because I made one mistake.
One stupid mistake, of going out with Maci.
I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have dated Maci.
When I saw her walk through the doors of the Great Hall during lunch, I couldn't help but freeze, and lose my breath. She was okay, and I was glad.
What sucked was that she didn't even notice me. She didn't even acknowledge me.
What was weird was that I couldn't help but notice that James held a little longer onto her than necessary.
What the bloody hell was that all about!
I couldn't stop the scene of Liz almost dying in my mind. None of us hadn't even noticed her stop playing the game until she was already falling. I should've been the one to save her. She should've been in my arms. But I froze. It was Fred who saved her.
When we found out she didn't have a pulse. I couldn't move. To everyone else, they thought I was cold. But in the inside, I was breaking. I wanted to go mental. Needless to say, I was miserable. I didn't get much sleep when we brought her to the hospital. I didn't eat as much. And I didn't much attention to Maci, which was why she wasn't by me at the table earlier at lunch. Apparently, I've been neglecting her and that I was being selfish.
Rubbish. She's being selfish. She didn't even care when she heard that Liz was in the hospital.
I even cried, out of frustration, at the Room of Requirement. I even slept there. I knew I wasn't wanted in my dorm. If I went to my dorm, I probably would've been kicked out anyway. Everyone's mad at me for what happened. They didn't even speak to me.
Her words kept on repeating me on the day I chose Maci over Liz, the very same day of her accident.
Fuck you, Potter. Her words rand though my head. The memory stung, and it bothered me. Her expression was so empty, flat, upsetting, and disturbed.
Why! Why did I choose Maci over Liz? I was pretty gutted that everyone hated me, especially Lizzie. I'm so stupid. Some best mate I turn out to be. I hurt her, and I choose some girl I'm known for less than a year, over someone I've known since forever.
During potions, I sat away from her and Rose. I wanted to observe her from afar. I knew she didn't want to be near me, so I kept my distance.
Lizzie's noticed me today for sure, but she wasn't harsh or mean. She didn't glare. She was just so…
Cold.
But today I was annoyed. Completely annoyed. I wanted to talk to Iz, but we just had to be interrupted by James.
Why was he being so clingy to Lizzie today? My Lizzie. It was all to suspicious. He hugged her a bit too long that needed earlier, he walked her to class, carried her stuff, protected her, was careful around her, he even defended her when I wanted to talk to her! He even looked more miserable about the whole Lizzie almost dying thing than I was! That was usually my job!
He and Rose practically had matching expressions. They were both depressed! What the bloody hell was going on!
I was frustrated to be honest. I'll admit.
What? Did he fancy Liz now?
I groaned. This wasn't the best week.
Everything was just so complicated.
So frustrating.
A/N: Aw, that's kinda sad. I'm sorry I don't have much emotion in this whole story. Do I? I don't know...XD I'm trying to have the ability to write emotionally. How do I make you guys cry! Ugh. I feel so cold, and insensitive. Anyway, REVIEWWWW :D
