In this chapter, an old face will be returning to help Guinevere. I am not too sure about this as this chapter is pivotal for Guinevere in her grieving process. Once again, I DO NOT own Merlin!
After ignoring Leon, I had expected our friendship to be at least strained but to relief, it wasn't. Leon had made sure of it. Every time I saw Leon in the days that passed, he would try to make our friendship like it had been by asking how I was and even on my better days, teasing me.
King Ayden was still here. Apparently, he still wanted to strengthen the relations between his country and Camelot. Although, the people around me, (Well- mainly, Gaius and the Knights) believed him, I didn't. Well…I couldn't!
The feeling of distrust I felt for him kept intensifying and I couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't who he was or that he was up to something. Whenever I had mentioned this, everyone attributed my distrust to either paranoia or Morgana. They said that after everything with Morgana had made me extra cautious. I didn't have anything to say to that, because I was.
I didn't have a choice. When you're leader of a country, you need to be.
Today was a special day! Princess Mithian's coming. After her incident with Morgana, she and I had become fast friends and if I'm honest, I enjoyed the female company. Of course, Arthur had been happy for me as he knew how lonely being the queen could be….
Her support when Arthur had died helped me to keep going and it had cemented our friendship.
Although, I was looking forward to her coming, I also don't want to lie to her. I don't want to pretend to be fine. If anything, I want to breakdown and not stop but I can't!
My musings was broken by my maid, Anna, announcing her arrival and for the first time in weeks I felt absolutely happy.
"Alright, Anna. I'm coming. "I told her, smoothing down my dress in anticipation.
As I was walking towards the entrance of the palace, I suddenly felt impossibly sad. It still felt odd to be welcoming someone to Camelot without Arthur. If I'm being perfectly honest, it just felt wrong!
All my knights, Gaius, and King Ayden were out in force to welcome her. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Leon standing next to King Ayden. Leon was listening to King Ayden talking to him and it was obvious he was being bored to death!
As soon as Leon saw my smile, he returned it! Unfortunately, his action had caused King Ayden to notice my presence.
"Your Majesty. How are you, today?" He asked, whilst bowing.
Like normal, I tolerated his questions after my health and happiness and like usual I said I was fine.
Only a few minutes later, Mithian rode up to where I was standing.
Half an hour later
Mithian hadn't changed since I had seen her a couple of months ago. She still looked like a perfect princess what with her long flowing hair and I knew she would make a perfect queen.
"How are you, Gwen?" She asked me, as soon as we were alone.
We were sitting across from each other in my bedchamber around the table and I could see that she was worried and concerned. I knew then that I had to tell her the truth. So, I did.
"Er, I don't know. If I'm really honest, some days, I can almost feel as if all's normal but then I remember why I was so heartbroken in the first place. Everywhere I go I see and think of Arthur and even if I don't, I feel guilty. When he died, I didn't just lose my husband but my soul mate, my king, everything..." I knew I was becoming upset as my eyes were filling up with tears but all the emotion I had hid was coming out!
Mithian didn't try and stop me from telling her anything but rather encouraged me to keep talking as she was nodding to me. She obviously thought that I needed to let it all out of my system.
"….I can't be the queen Camelot deserves. I was never supposed to be queen!" I practically shouted at her.
At this point, Mithian had interrupted me. She obviously didn't agree with me as she was frowning deeply and she looked determined.
"Guinevere, of course you were supposed to be queen. When Arthur told me about you being the daughter of a blacksmith, I must admit that I was sceptical but from the moment I met you I knew you were a brilliant queen!" She told me, earnestly.
I simply nodded at her. Although, I didn't fully believe her I also didn't want to annoy her.
"Okay."
Mithian quickly changed the subject as she could sense my discomfort and for that, I was glad.
"How's your friendship with Leon?" She asked me, with a gleam in her eyes that I couldn't quite make out.
I didn't want to full her gossip or curiosity but I needed to say something.
"Alright." I told her. I had tried to make my voice sound passive but there was an edge to it.
"Take care, Gwen." Which was all she said but I knew that she thought that Leon and I had something going on.
"Why? Nothing's going on." I told her. I needed to.
Although, she nodded at me, I still knew she thought something.
"There doesn't need to be but you have lost your husband and everything but Leon did lose his leader, his best friend and his king. He needs you just as much as you need him!" She told me.
A/N: Sorry, this chapter is so long. I hope you enjoyed this! This chapter was supposed to be me showing that Guinevere is trying to "help" herself get back to normal. Please review!
