Kind of Homo: Chapter 9

March, Age 10

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Being disrupted from his wonderful dream about ostriches running rapid throughout the city as it rained maple syrup was not the way Matthew wanted his day to start. Of course, living with Alfred, nothing ever went the way he wanted.

"Mattie! Mattie wake up, come on!" His older twin urged as he shook his shoulder.

Matthew elected to ignore him, but when he felt his blanket being tugged away and a draft rushing up his shirt, he rolled over and lazily pushed his brother away. "Alfred, it's Saturday..." He mumbled and rubbed at his eyes.

Alfred crawled onto the bed and situated himself so he was sitting on the younger blonde's legs. "Yeah. But it's 8:00! Time to get up!"

With his eyes still closed, Matthew scowled and tried turning over. "No you don't!" Alfred grinned and dove foward, lodging his hand in between Matthew's arm and body. The blonde's eyes shot open as his brother began tickling him in most sensitive spot, causing him to let out a squeak and roll around in an awkward attempt to escape.

"Alfred! Stop!" He struggled to keep the laugh out of voice.

"Never!" The offender shouted. However, Matthew pushed his chest back, which caused him to tumble backwards and slide down the blankets onto the floor.

Matthew sat up in case his brother decided to attack again, but instead he found him laying on his back laughing.

"Uhh? Alfred are you ok?"

Alfred held up the 'ok' sign and sat up. "But you're not able to get back to sleep anymore, are ya?"

Matthew tilted his head to the side for a moment before quietly gasping. That little... He narrowed his eyes and chucked his pillow at the smug child in front of him. "Well whatever. What has got you so excited?"

Alfred pulled himself back up on the bed and collapsed on his stomach. "I'm having a friend come over today."

Matthew raised an eyebrow and adjusted his blankets. "You have friends over all the time. I mean, usually they don't wanna come back after, but they come over all the tim-!"

"Be quiet!" The older brother whined and swatted his hand at the other boy. "Kiku loves coming over here! "

Matthew chuckled and kind of shrugged. Yeah, Alfred basically adopted a neighborhood kid and forced him to hangout with him all the time. Matthew kind of thought the younger boy was enjoying himself sometimes, but usually he just looked uncomfortable or exasperated.

"Okay, but who's coming over then?"

Alfred grinned. "Gilbert is!"

Matthew's voice got caught in his throat. "Ehhhh... Just Gilbert is?"

Alfred nodded and sat up. "Yeah Francis and Antonio can't come for some reason, I don't know. We can ask him why when he gets here."

"Oh.. Uh what time will he be here?"

The blonde glanced around the room for a clock. "I don't know a little while. He was gonna come over early so we could hang out for the whole day!" Alfred had a bright smile on his face like he always did when he talked about his friends.

Matthew nodded slightly as his brother dragged him out of bed and into the kitchen.

It wasn't like he didn't like Gilbert. It's just, he had the tendency to make Matthew very nervous. Whenever the albino came to their house he was very rowdy. And for as nuts as the three of them are together, Antonio and Francis both knew how to make him take it down a notch.

Now, if you put a Gilbert and an Alfred together with no one to manage them, then they had a problem.

And beside that point, Matthew just never knew how to act around the German. Besides their first encounter they really hadn't held any real conversations. Sure, Gilbert would throw a comment every once in a while but Matthew didn't really know how to respond so he usually just gave him a blank stare. What was he suppose to do, Gilbert already thought he was a loser—he told him that the first day they talked!

So yeah, when he was invited to Gilbert's birthday party he was hesitant to go. But Alfred insisted so they both ended up on the Beilschmidt's porch on January 17th. They walked inside to find a house full of unsupervised kids gathered in the living room, due to the adults flocking in the kitchen with the prized alchohol, while Natalia held a doey eyed looking Toris in a headlock! Feliks stood off to the side demanding she release his husband as Gilbert cackled out loud and shoved Roderich on the couch. Basically after that, all hell broke loose and Alfred happily jumped into the middle of the mess.

Matthew simply dropped his present on the floor and snuck out. He was still able to catch his mom at the corner of the block, that's how fast it all happened.

Matthew shook his head and sat down next to Alfred at the kitchen table. He got worried too easily, he knew. He was told he had to work on that.

"Wow, I'm surprised you got Matthew out of bed!" Their mother chuckled from the stove. She wiped her hands on her apron and placed a plate in front of the yawning boy.

Matthew glared at his brother from the corner of his eye. Alfred just grinned and scratched the back of head innocently. "Well it wasn't easy! Kid is a big fat log!"

Matthew scowled and stuffed some pancakes in his mouth. He chewed slowly and swallowed before muttering, "Well not all of us like to wake up at the crack of dawn.."

Alfred shrugged and hummed into his glass of milk. Their mother glanced at the clock and folded up her apron. "Alright boys, I gotta go." She placed a kiss on each of their heads.

"Wait mom!" The older twin whined and snagged her hand. She paused and turned back to her son with an amused look on her face. "It's Saturday! "

She shrugged and rubbed circles on her son's rough hand. "I know hon, but they need someone to fill in for Diane."

Alfred scrunched up his face and crossed his arms before slouching down in his chair. "Well Diane should stop being a lazy fatbutt and go to work.."

Matthew raised his eyebrows and glanced up at their mom who was shaking her head in an affectionate kind of way. "Honey, she just went into labor.."

Alfred's mood immediately picked up and Matthew merely smiled at the good news.

"A baby!? Really!" The more outgoing one jumped out of his chair. "That's awesome! I've always liked Diane, can we see the baby when it's born? "

Their mom muffled a giggle and patted his head. "I'll see what I can do sweetheart, but I really have to go! Dad is sleeping, just wake him if you need something!" She blew two kisses before disappearing out the door.

Matthew picked up his fork to continue breakfast when Alfred spun around on his heels and sat back down to join him. "Matthew if you eat too much you're gonna get really fat!"

The blonde rolled his eyes at his brother's hypocritical statement. "Yeah says you Alfred. The guy who ate ALL his Halloween candy in the same night."

Alfred removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes but he had a proud smile on his face. "Yeah and I only got a little sick from that! I deserve an award!"

Matthew raised his eyebrows. "You spent the whole next day puking your guts out!"

Alfred patted his stomach and propped his feet up on the table where his empty plate was. "That was one time. I always eat more than you, so I'm a little bit stronger in the whole department, thank you. But all these pancakes will definitely make you look like a balloon."

Matthew smiled sweetly and cocked his head to the side before stabbing his next piece rather harshly and shoving it in his mouth. He chewed loudly to put emphasis on how little he cared. When he swallowed, he wiped his face and gave a pointed look at his brother. "At least I play hockey to work off my—fatness...? Or whatever. You don't do anything but play video games."

Alfred gasped and nearly fell back in his chair. "What!" His voice went up an octave. "I play baseball!"

Matthew shrugged and hopped off his seat to take his dishes to the sink. He turned on the faucet and grabbed the dish soap. "Yeah, but in the summer only."

Alfred twirled his finger in the air and rolled his eyes. "But baseball is cool. Hockey? What kind of sport is that? It's always cold in there and I hate winter!"

"Christmas is in the winter."

Alfred sat up in his seat and his eyes sparkled. "Oh I love Christmas!"

Matthew chuckled under his breath at how quickly the subject could change with this kid and placed the plates back in the correct cupboard.

After listing off at least ten reasons why he loved the Holiday, Alfred shook his head and punched Matthew in the shoulder when the boy returned from across the kitchen. "Dude stop distracting me! Back to hockey—it's lammmmme! And pancakes? Why are you soooooooo canadiannnnnnnnn Mattiiieeeeeee! ?"

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows and bumped his fists together. "Eh, you know you're Canadian too, right?"

Alfred lifted his eyes in a scandalized kind of way and thrusted out a finger. "How dare you say that?!"

Matthew raised his hands in mock surrender and found his way out of the kitchen. Their father was Canadian while their mom was American. None of them were really sure why, but Alfred had this whole American pride thing going on.

So the rest of the morning continued as normal. They sat on the couch together, flipping through old Cartoon Network shows, and occasionally broke into brief arguments.

"Dude, Matthew, I'm telling you! The Powerpuff Girls is a kickbutt show! It's not just for girls!"

"I never said it was just for girls you dumby!"

Eventually their dad came out of his room with a stubbly chin and sleepy eyes. He lazily greeted them, made a cup of coffee, and with his laptop tucked under his arm, retreated back to his room to start some work.

Glancing at the clock Matthew realized Gilbert would be there soon. He made his way to the bathroom with a change of clothes. After he washed his face, he globbed some toothpaste on his toothbrush and stuck it in his mouth as he traveled down the hall back into the living room.

He stood behind the couch brushing his teeth as Alfred played with the volume on the remote. A random episode of the Powerpuff Girls played and Blossom's famous "Let's go girls," line rang throughout the room.

A few moments later, a knock was heard at the door and Alfred sprang from his seat. He swung the door open and all it took was a loud greeting for Matthew's eyes to widen and send him rushing out. He finished brushing his teeth in the bathroom before peeking into the hall.

Their loud voices could be heard coming from the living room still, so the Canadian let out a sigh of relief when he safely made it back into his room. He wasn't sure what it was with his social anxiety these days, but he was extremely shy.

He plopped down on his bed and picked up his tablet laying on the nightstand. Now that the two crazies were busy, he could catch up on some well needed Netflix shows. Like Voltron, because he still wasn't able to watch the last episode of the latest season because Alfred interrupted him everytime—

Speak of the devil, the noises only seemed to get louder as the Netflix app began loading, and only then did Matthew realize they share a room! Of course Alfred would bring him in there! As the doorknob turned, Matthew slunk down in his bed. He tried to seem as casual as possible. It didn't work.

"Mattie why do you look like the Very Hungry Caterpillar with a tummy ache?" Alfred cocked his head to the side as he strolled in with Gilbert behind him.

Avoiding the albino's eyes, Matthew huffed and frowned. "I don't."

Alfred laughed out loud and Gilbert grinned as he walked toward Matthew's bed. He raised a hand for a highfive. "What's going on Moon Pie?!"

Matthew raised his eyebrows and pink dusted his cheeks at the confusing pet name, but he hesitantly tapped his palm against Gilbert's which earned a finger gun from said boy.

"So are you gonna be playing with us today?"

Matthew paused at the question. It was an odd question. "Uhh I don't really know..."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "It's not awesome to have Gilbert at your house and not hang out with him, so I guess it depends on if you wanna be a dork forever."

Matthew winced at how casually those words rolled off his tongue, and for a moment he thought Gilbert actually noticed. He looked like he was about to say something when Alfred cut in from where he was rummaging through his video games—

"Gilbert you're suppose to be playing video games with me!"

Without another glance at him, Gilbert walked from Matthew and sat down next to the American. Matthew watched from behind them as they played their racing game and sighed. Gilbert made him uncomfortable beyond belief and it was the weirdest thing having him in his own room, but it was the first mutual exchange of words since his first week of school! All Gilbert ever usually did was yell at him across the gym or the playground and he usually never even understood a word he saying.

Pausing their intense conversation on leprechauns and Gilbert's plan on his eventual world domination, Alfred stuck out his tongue and asked, "wait, why couldn't Francis and Antonio come today anyways?"

Without taking his attention off the game, Gilbert furrowed his brows and stuck out his bottom lip before responding with, "Franny had some family thing and Toni's mom found his girly princess notebook she told him to get rid of. She doesn't like that notebook for some reason so he got in trouble." Gilbert let out a cackle. "Stupid Toni and his girl toys."

Alfred nodded in agreement. "I mean why have princesses when you can have Captain America!?"

"What princess was it? " Matthew, for whatever reason, found himself cutting in.

Both boys glanced at him for a quick second with confused looks.

"What?" Mathew fidgeted nervously. "I was just wondering...?"

Gilbert seemed to take the question to thought after his moment of bewilderment. "Mmmmm I don't know. One with red hair— the mermaid one!"

"Oh that's Ariel, she used to be my favorite Disney princess but Rapunzel is now. " Alfred commented as his character crossed the finish line.

Gilbert exhaled a muffled laugh and Matthew raised a brow. "I knew you were paying dumb when you agreed that 'girly princess things are dumb.' You love Disney movies."

Alfred shrugged.

So the time went by and the boys continued to play video games. They swapped the disc out several times but always kept a conversation up while Matthew enjoyed himself behind them. He played a game on his tablet and occasionally commented on something said, but he mostly just listened. They did get loud, he would admit, but never to the point where their were insanely obnoxious.

"I have to go to the bathroom real quick." Alfred hopped up after a pause in the conversation. "I'll bring some snacks back when I'm done!"

Matthew glanced at his brother with his eyebrows furrowed. "After? You better make sure you actually wash your hands then." He rolled his eyes and set his attention back on his tablet.

Alfred mocked Matthew's chide and slid outta the room. It hadn't been more than three seconds since he left, and Gilbert was already flinging himself onto the spot next to the younger blonde.

"Hey you fluffy cotton candy ball! What are you doing?!"

Matthew's heart jolted in surprise as the boy settled next to him. He shifted uncomfortably and scooted over a bit, already feeling crowded. "Er.. Um. I'm just sitting here."

Gilbert flipped onto his back and blew a raspberry at the ceiling. "LAME! What are you doing on here?" He pushed on and snatched the tablet out of Matthew's hands. "Ooooo what is on your Netflix list?!"

He scrolled through, pausing to examine some cartoons or Lego shows. "Ha! You watch Friends?! LAME!"

Matthew raised his eyebrows and pushed up his glasses. "I mean, actually Alfred watches that. But he's not really allowed to."

Gilbert cocked his head to the side. "Hm? Why?"

Matthew shrugged. "Well, its kina adult-ish."

Gilbert scoffed. "Ohhh nice!" He tapped the screen. "There we go! It's The Flash!"

The blonde rubbed the back of his head. "Um.. Alfred again."

The albino furrowed his brows and waved the tablet around. "So what do you watch!?"

Matthew frowned and tapped his fingers together. "Um. Well, both me and Alfred watch a lot of the Cartoon Network shows... But my favorite is probably Voltron."

With half lidded eyes, Gilbert questioned, "Voltron?"

"Yeah," he leaned forward and scrolled across until a young animated man with a red jacket and sad features popped up. "Here watch this." Matthew tapped the screen and allowed the trailer to play. After a moment of teenage banter and a lot of lions flying through galaxies, Gilbert blinked.

"Whoa, that show looks awesome!"

Matthew half smiled and looked away.

While the trailer replayed, Gilbert chuckled and pointed at the significantly smaller character whose signature color was green. "Haha look at that dude! He kind of looks like you "

Matthew blinked and ignored the fact that it was probably suppose to be an insult. "Um, spoiler, that's actually a girl."

Gilbert's face went paler than it already was and his expression went blank. After a few seconds he tossed the device back on Matthew's lap and let out a loud whine. "Why do I have so much trouble with figuring that stuff out!?"

Matthew stared at him for a moment, not quite sure how to respond. He was about to say something about how it's a common mistake and as long as you correct yourself and respect the person's preference, its not a big deal— but Gilbert beat him to it.

"I guess you just gotta be dorky like you to figure it out, am I right?"

Matthew broke his gaze at him and stared down at his hands.

"Okay perfect. So tell the Awesome Me why calling you a dork is such a trigger word."

His eyes immediately widened and they met with maroon. Gilbert was sitting up now with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He looked scarier than just a fourth grader. "I... What—"

"Come on celery stick," Gilbert cracked a side smile but kept his arms crossed. "I've called enough people dorks to know how they should act. They should yell or something. You just kind of... I'm not really sure what you do cause I usually stop paying attention but today I finally noticed how you stop talking. " he shrugged. "I'm just awesome like that."

Matthew stared at him. Okay, so his explanation was a bit off, but he got the gist. Gilbert actually noticed his discomfort at the name. He never gave the German enough credit for his (somewhat) perceptiveness.

He bumped his fists together in an attempt to make himself feel less awkward. "Erm.. Ok. Well, at my old school, lots of the kids were kinda mean to me. I mean, lots of of them didn't like Al either but he could stand his ground. Me, well, they really tormented me and called me names. Dork isn't the worst one but I just really associate it badly I guess."

He waited for Gilbert to laugh at him but it didn't come.

"Bullies? Bleh bullies are just lame-os."

Matthew glanced at the door and began to wonder what was taking Alfred so long. He also was trying to work up the courage to mention how Gilbert was a little hypocritical considering he practically bullies Lovino Vargas and, more commonly, Arthur Kirkland. But of course he couldn't say that! He'd probably get punched in the face. He took a deep breath. "Um thanks."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Yeah we already knew I was awesome, but what about you? What should I call you now?""

"Hm?"

"A nickname! I call you too many, I think we need to get one and stick with it!"

"Um, how about my real name? Matthew?"

Gilbert flipped onto his side and stuck out his tongue. "Boring! We need something cool! Only cool people get nicknames from THE AWESOME ME!"

Matthew leaned away and winced at his exclamation, but his cheeks dusted pink. "But Antonio and Francis have a bunch of nicknames instead of one?"

The albino waved a hand. "Psshh who said they were awesome enough?"

Matthew chewed on his lip and looked away embarrassed. Gilbert must have picked up on it because he frantically shook his hands in front of him. "I'm not calling you awesome! Your only kinda cool and only kind of! Besides, now I'm not gonna even let you pick the nickname because it will end up stupid so the awesome me will decide!"

The maroon eyed boy leaned forward and began examining the other's face. Matthew was a little worried he'd get yelled at again so he just sat still and let it happen. After a few moments, Gilbert snapped his fingers. "I got it! I'm AWESOME!" He flicked a stray blond piece of hair out of his eyes and grinned. "You'll be known as Birdie from now on! "

Matthew jerked his head back. He had been expecting something like 'Who?' People literally called him that at his old school , and it was always pronounced with the question mark and everything. "B-birdie..? I— huh?"

Gilbert cackled and hopped off the bed, his mismatched red and blue train socks contrasting with the stained white carpet. "I have my birdie Gilbird back at home and you have the same color hair as him. I say it's a pretty awesome match. And that means it's legit!"

Matthew spread his hands out on the bunched up blankets beneath him. "Gilbird... I didn't know about him."

"No?" he frowned. "I only talk about him all the time! I guess I'll just have to talk about him EVEN LOUDER NOW!"

Matthew chuckled under his breath, and realized it was one of the first times he thinks the albino had actually gotten that reaction out of him.

Gilbert looked as if he were going to scream about something else, but the sound of the door opening and hitting the wall alarmed them. "Sorry it took so long guys! I was in the bathroom and washing my hands but I realized mom got some new soap so I was reading the label for five minutes until I realized it was in like, Chinese or something. Then I went in the kitchen and got some bowls of munchies and now I'm back."

Matthew blinked at his brother's empty hands. "Oh ok. You put the food together but Cosmo and Wanda are gonna deliver it?"

Alfred looked confused for a mere second before racing back to the kitchen. Gilbert broke out into hard laughter, and Matthew felt a flicker of pride at causing it.

As the day continued, Alfred and Gilbert played video games for a few more hours with Matthew quietly observing from behind. He even got to play two rounds, one in which he beat Alfred's butt and in another where he came very close but ultimately lost to "The Oh So Mighty and Awesome Gilbert!" Or, that's at least what he yelled in Matthews face afterwards.

When the two energetic boys went outside to play, Matthew decided to stay in despite the temperatures that were starting to rise as they slowly eased out of winter. He watched from the window for a moment and only stepped away when Alfred tried waving him down. After about another two hours of peace, they stormed back in and dragged him out.

They ended up going on a walk, that included an interesting encounter with Ivan and a small group of kids behind him. He recognized a few from his class, three boys and one girl. Toris, Natalia, and the glasses one whose name slipped his mind. But one looked a little younger than the rest, and Matthew didn't recognize him.

Gilbert and Alfred then got in a fight with Ivan, who seemed to be enjoying it as he didn't get offended by a word said but Gilbert and Alfred got triggered by every little thing. Eventually the fight ended when the little boy broke down crying and Ivan turned around to pat his head. Matthew took it as his chance to drag his team away.

They got back to their house where his mom had brought home a pizza. They enjoyed it together with loud insults across the table—well Matthew would insult his brother. But not Gilbert. He felt bad but he was still a little scared of him.

At the end of night, when Grandpa Beilschmidt came to pick Gilbert up, Alfred waved at him as he crossed the front yard. Matthew got a rough shove towards the door by his mother and a harsh, "be nice" so he joined his brother there.

Before Gilbert hopped into the passenger seat of the truck he turned around and waved a loud "BYEEEEEE!" at Alfred. He then shifted his gaze at Matthew. And because he just got his eye checked and the porch light just got a new bulb, he knew he wasn't going crazy when he caught the playful wink directed at him.


Guess who's back?

SOrry! Ever since school started, things have been rough! I hate 10th grade and everyone at my school! So updates will be a lot slower now sorry! I've actually been trying to type this chapter for months!

Also, sorry for lack of Toni and Franny! Like I said before, this story is taking a huge turn and it's not just about friendship it's also a lot about romance— let's just say this story is about relationships? Between everyone. And for some reason I've been laying the Prucan on thick, even more so than the other pairings i feel like? Idk why.

Okay, so that's that. I really wanna work on my new Hetalia/OHSHC chapter, but that takes forever but I don't wanna delay this story anymore! Ugh I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Anyways! Favorite and review and that jazz!

~Iwilldrinkthiscoffee

12/9/17