Wow, didn't even realize how long it's been since my last update but guess whattt? I'm on winter break from college and I'm going to try my best to write and update as much as possible!
Not a very long or eventful chapter but it's something right?
Last time: I knew that there was no way that I would be able to sleep so I got up and started writing to Nessie, telling her everything that I was feeling at the moment.
Jacob POV
My mind was going crazy, my thoughts racing, leaving my mind so fast I barely had time to write what I wanted. After what felt like hours but was really only twenty minutes I got up and fell into a deep slumber. It was there that I dreamt of her, the beautiful child whose life I was glad to have been a part of. She was laughing, running, giggling and I could see it in her eyes that she was happy. Happy. That's all I ever wanted for her. By the time I woke up the sun was shining brightly through my room; I slowly got up and stretched. Despite the events of yesterday I felt better, lighter. And I knew why. I walked over to my desk where my letter to Nessie was and looked over it. The question now was, would I send it to her? I felt better just by writing it, but would I send it? I had to. I knew that I did. I sat down and began to read over it.
Dear Ness,
I'm sorry for the way I acted when you were about to leave. I feel so bad now because you aren't here and I ran away like a little kid. Please don't be mad at me Ness, I'll make it up to you. I wasn't thinking about the right things, I kept thinking about the negative things about you leaving. I thought about how much it was going to suck after you left, the things we wouldn't get to do anymore, and the laughs we weren't going to share. I let it take over me and I failed to miss the positives. Ness, think about it. You'll make more friends and I know that you didn't care about that but it'll be a good thing because you'll have your friends here from La Push but you'll also have friends in Colorado. Friends are good, they help you through your worst times. They're there for you when you need them. That's what I have to do, I have to be there for you. I know that you don't want to live in Colorado but promise me one thing, please? Try and make the best of it. Smile, laugh, and most of all be happy. I'm going to miss you a ton and I know that the rest of the pack will too. No matter where you are you'll still be my best friend and I will always be there for you but I want you to make new friends, or at least try. Don't sit somewhere and sulk. I mean it. I'll ask Bella to make sure. We didn't get to say goodbye correctly so I want to visit, but that will only happen if I find that you are trying to like Colorado. I'm not saying you have to love it Ness, but just try, okay? For my sake. It'll make me feel better to know that Colorado isn't so bad for you. Besides, you know I'll be talking to you all the time. It'll be just like you're still here. I miss you already and you haven't even been gone a day, can you believe that? Tell everyone that I say hello, except Rosalie. You don't have to tell her I said hi. Ness, I love you. And be happy.
-Jake
I sighed and put the letter in an envelope, writing "Nessie" on it along with the address. I put it on my desk and went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. There wasn't much to eat so I just grabbed some cereal and milk and sat down to eat, thinking as I did. It was extremely quiet, meaning dad wasn't home. I began to think of my mom and I missed the times that we had spent in this house as a family. When she was here the house was never this quiet, I'd always hear laughter, cooking, talking but most of all the happiness of us being together as family. I shook the thoughts away and quickly finished my cereal. I figured it was now or never, I had to send the letter to Ness otherwise I'd put it off until I wouldn't do it. I put the letter in the mail and decided to go for a walk on the beach. I really did want Ness to be happy, even if I wasn't there to see it. I had felt so much better after writing the letter but my bad mood was starting to come back. i kicked at the sand, why was I always getting stuck with the bad stuff? I had to stop this! I had to stop feeling bad for myself, I had to suck it up and just live my life. Without the so called happiness everyone I knew seemed to have. I wanted to kick and scream. I wanted someone to give a damn about me for once. I didn't want to be the one having to pick up the pieces, my pieces. I felt angry and I began to tremble, I ran towards the woods and shifted to my wolf form. I howled loudly in anger, fuck the world! Fuck everyone. I needed to go for a run, so I did. From now on I would do what I needed to feel better. Even if it meant writing Nessie a letter every single day to tell her how I felt, to show her I was there for her. I wouldn't get to see Ness for a while that was for sure. I needed time to figure out why the world was out to make me unhappy, time to learn to be on my own. Hell, I could move out of dad's house and live by myself, like life has intended. I was going to make something of myself. I wasn't going to let all of this get in my way. I was going to find my own form of happiness.
By the way, do guys want me to write the letters from Jake to Ness? I can post the letters in between chapters if you guys want. So just let me know, yes or no? Letters or no letters?
