As I scrubbed some dried pieces of batter from the counter tops, I felt really happy but at the same time, I was unhappy. My emotions were both controlled by the same reason. I was now friends with Kayle. I was happy that I no longer had anything to hide. I talk to him about almost anything. On the same note, I didn't want to get to know him better. Not because I don't like him (I love him... I think), but because i don't want my feelings to grow. I've never felt such mixed emotions before, and this only added one more emotion to the mix, frustration. I took it out on a poor piece of dried batter.
"Um, are you angry at something?" Kayle asked. I guess i wasn't discrete about my sudden anger toward the stubborn stain.
"I'm not angry at anything." I replied through clenched teeth. I scrubbed harder.
"Yes, you are..." He said. He had a hint of a smile on his face. I growled.
"NO, I'M NOT!!"
"Okay, okay. You're NOT angry then." He exclaimed and started to put his cleaning stuff away. I looked down and realized that my poor friend was no longer existent. I sighed and starting to put my things away too. I glanced at Kayle and noticed he looked a little bummed out. No doubt, it was because of me.
"Look," I sighed again. I didn't want to make Kayle feel bad because of me. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just... I'm a little mixed up right now..."
"It might help to talk about it..." He said cautiously. We both leaned on the counter, opposite each other. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at my shoes.
"It's mostly about you." I finally replied. I looked up into his perfect eyes and , once again, my heart skipped. I worried that he would've heard it. "I mean, like where you came from, how old you really are, stuff like that."
"And what if I want to know the same thing about you?" He asked. I saw the teasing tone in her eyes and smirked.
"Then I'd have to say too bad! I asked first." I huffed lightly and he smiled.
"I beileve that the term 'Ladies first' would apply here, don't you think?"
"What ever happened to equal rights?"
"Alright, we could bicker like this for hours or we could do what all great minds do when fixed with a problem."
"And that would be?" I wasn't really disinterested to the first choice I made up in my mind. I would get to spend time with him, but the thought of Jacob kept me from saying much.
"A game of rock, paper, scissors." He asked, his grin lopsided.
"Bring it on." I laughed and he playfully glared at me. After a best two out of three game, he won and I had to tell my story. I pouted lightly. " I want to ask you something before I start." I said to him. We were still leaning on the counter. I stood up and walked around to his side.
"Sure, go ahead." He shrugged.
"I want to tell the story my way."
"Go ahead, I really don't mind." He shrugged again. I sighed, gulped in a breath of air, and closed the gap between us in a fraction of a second. Hesitantly, I placed my hand on his surprisingly strong jaw and went back to my earliest memories. The sight of my mom, my dad, my aunties and uncles, grandparents, friends from different covens that came to my families aid, the Volutri (I shuddered lightly), and even though I tried so hard not to think of him, Jacob. I slowly told the story of what my mom did, how fast I had grown, (unforutunatly) I thought of my relationship with Jake, thought of when Alice left, the showdown in the baseball field, what happened, what could have happened, and what happened afterwards. I let my hand slide down his face, but not before he saw Jacob holding my hand. It seemed like the whole thing took two minutes but it really took an hour. He sighed lightly and I took a quick step back.
"Wow," He said, amazed by me. "That really was something!" I waited for him to say more. I bit my lip and was afraid of what he said. "So... your mom... your dad... the volutri," He shuddered lightly and continued. "... the baseball field... whose Jacob?" I flinced slightly. I consider lying to him, but decided it would be better to tell the truth. I took a deep breath.
"He's my... boyfriend, I guess." I said quietly.
"Oh..." His voice had a tint of pain hidden within. Awkward silience followed and I cleared my throat.
"I better get going."
"Yeah, me to- aw crap!" He hit his hand with his hand.
"What?" I asked confused.
"I forgot I let Kate, my mom, borrow my car! I guess I better walk, since I obviously missed the bus." He started to mutter, throwing a few colourful in the pot. He turned to leave when I grabbed his arm. He glanced down at where my arm held him and I quickly let go. He gave me a dazzling smile.
"I think I'll walk. Or run to be more like it. I'll see you later." The next thing I know, I'm alone. When I looked at his eyes again, they portrayed hurt completely. I wanted to heal him, to tell him that I love him, but my relationship with Jacob prevented me form telling him so. That's all I thought of when I drove home. When I pulled up, I was surprised to see Jake waiting on the porch. I put the Volvo in park and stepped out.
"Hi, Jake!" I waved. He partically ran up to me and pulled me into a firece kiss. It was so full of passion and confusion it scared the crap out of me. His finger trembled across my jaw from something, not angry though. Before I could even kiss him back, He pulled away and stared me straight in the eye. His had a hint of pain within them. I sighed lightly. "First Kayle, Now Jake. Who's next?" I kept the idea to myself, determined for Jake never to hear it. "What was all that about?" I asked lightly.
"I'm sorry. I had a... nightmare of sorts." He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his waist.
"What was it about?" I thought. I felt him tense and hesitate. I frowned and he sighed.
"I dreamt that you and I were getting married..." I felt giddy as I gasped.
"What's wrong with that?!"
"No, no! Let me finish! OK, so we were saying the 'I do's' and before you could say it, this guy with spiky, black hair and a faded tan came and took you. I couldn't say or do anything but watch you leave. I started looking for you, but when I finally found you..." Jake took a deep breath and continued. "When I finally found you, you were with the other guy. You were happy and when Itrieed to tell you to come back, you couldn't remember me..." His eyes showed pain and fear. I held him close and tight and thought.
"Not gonna happen. I love you too much to put you through that." He responded me by pulling me even tighter, leaning his head on mine.
"I love you, Nessie." He whispered and I felt something wet hit my hair and felt it run through to my forehead. I relized it was a tear; Jacob's tear. I didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't bear to live with myself if I did but my feelings for Kayle just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I tried. I thought my heart couldn't break any more, but I was wrong. My eyes started stinging and my crystal-clear vision went blurry. I cried with him on the porch as the sun started to set. We were both crying but not for the same thing.
