A/N: Chapter nine here. Hope you enjoi. Twilight tries to fix Jakar lulz. End A/N
"I am getting sick of you running off!" Twilight said as we walked into the library.
"Why? Too many do-it-youselfs?" I replied.
"Why can't you just stay here?"
"This place is bad. Seven years ago, in this very spot, someone became useless."
"Ugh, forget it. I'm going to work on trying to make you insane mind sane."
"I SAID I WAS UNSANE YOU FORGETFUL FANK!"
She proceeded to pull out a magic book. While she was reading something, I ate some of the pages I had. Surprisingly she didn't notice. When I was done she looked up at me.
"Alright, Jakar. From this moment on, you will become sane." Her horn began to glow. I suddenly felt a strange sensation in my head, like someone was violating me sexually in my eye socket.
This continued for a few minutes. Eventually it stopped, and I felt...lustful.
"Alright, Jakar. If I did the spell correctly you should now be sane."
Part of that was true. For once in my life I could actually focus on something for more then 1/4 a second. But, something was different. I felt, incredibly...lustful. I looked at Twilight.
"Jakar?"
"You wanna do it? We can let Spike watch..."
"What!? I must've done the spell wrong. Let me-" She was cut off by me running over to her.
"AAAHH!"
"What is going on!?" Spike yelled running into the room.
Suddenly a realization donned upon me.
"Wait..." I started. "Why didn't Twilight do this to me when Celestia was here? I was stuck against the wall. They could've made my mind sane right then, with the help of Celestia. That is a major hole in this story. Ah who the fuck cares." I proceeded to run after Twilight.
"Get away from me Jakar!" Twilight yelled. I suddenly began to levitate.
"Hey! Stop floating me and we could do a threesome!" I was then pinned against the wall.
"WE ALL WANNA FUCK AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"Twilight? What is he-"
"Spike, get out of here now. Don't listen to anything he's saying. I'll fix him." Twilight interrupted. She began to look over the spell again.
While I shouted many inappropriate things, Twilight eventually started doing the spell.
Like last time, I felt the hurtful feeling of being fucked in the eye. This continued for a few minutes, until if finally stopped. This time I felt...angry.
"Alright. You should no longer be-"
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DAMN BITCH!" I interrupted.
"Jakar!? What the buck!?"
"WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU FUCKING SON OF A BASTARD! YOU WON'T LET ME EAT ANY GOD DAMNED BOOKS AND YOU WON'T LET ME GO OUTSIDE! YOU ARE A FUCKING JACKASS TROLL WHO LIVES OFF OTHERS MISFORTUNES!"
"It has to be something with the spell." Twilight proceeded to start it again.
"GO AHEAD! FUCK ME UP MORE STUPID BITCH! AHHH YES THAT FUCKING FEELING OF BEING FUCKED IN THE EYE FEELS FUCKIN GREAT TWI!" Thankfully I began to calm down. This continued for a few minutes. This time Twilight just looking at me to make sure nothing else happened. This time I felt...killful.
"Jakar?" She asked.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Finally, I think I did it right. You should be sane." I was then levitated down.
"I'm going to go in the kitchen for a bit." I said walking into it.
"Um...alright." Twilight replied.
I opened up a droor and pulled out a kitchen knife.
'Time to die.'
I proceeded to go back into the other room. I began to sneak up on Twilight. As I was about to strike, I heard someone knock on the door. I quickly got back and slid the knife in my pocket. Twilight then walked over to the door. She opened it, revealing Pinkie Pie.
"Hiya! Is Jakar here?" Pinkie asked.
"Yes he is. I just finished making his mind sane." Twilight replied. Pinkie then hopped over to me.
"Hiya Jakar! Here, I made you some cupcakes!" She proceeded to pull out a tray of cupcakes out of nowhere.
"Thank you, I'll have them later." I replied, putting them off to the side.
"Pinkie. Can you entertain Jakar for awhile? I need to talk to Spike about some things he may have heard."
"Okay doikie loike!" Pinkie responded as Twilight went upstairs.
"So, Jakar!" Pinkie began turning toward me. "What do you want to do? Do you want to read books? Or eat them? Do you want more cupcakes? Do you want to play a game?"
"Yes, Pinkie. Lets play a game." I replied.
"You're awfully acting weird Jakar! Are you alright?"
"I'm fine Pinkie. Now, for the game. Close your eyes and turn around."
"Okay doikie lokie!" She proceeded to turn around. I then got the knife out.
'One down.' As I was about to stab her, Twilight came back down.
"Oh, I forgot. Have you seen..." She stopped when she saw me.
'Fuck.'
"Pinkie! Look out behind you!" Twilight yelled.
"What is it?" She proceeded to look behind her. Her eyes went wide when she saw the knife.
"Oooh! You want to cut the cupcakes?" Suddenly I began to levitate, dropping the knife.
"Hey! Put me down Twilight!" I yelled. I was then pinned against the wall.
"Phew...that was close. Pinkie, are you alright?" Twilight asked, a hint of worry in her voice.
"I'm super duper alright!" Pinkie replied.
"Phew, good." She proceeded to turn back around to me. "Hopefully I can fix you right this time." Her horn began to glow. As the past few times. I felt the all great feeling of being fucked in the eye. This continued for a few minutes, before finally stopping. I felt...insane again.
"Hey. Why am I pinned to this wall? I want some books. Wait, Cyclones! AHH! Wait, it was all inside the nucleus of the power plant in Las Vegas."
"Well, it's not sane. But it's better then the other ones. It seems I have to deal with you like this." Twilight stated.
"Now getmedown. I, want to do some stuffs and some things." I was proceeded to get lowered.
"YAAAZ!" I yelled.
"Hey Jakar! You want some cupcakes?" She asked, handing me the tray of cupcakes.
"NAYEAAH!" I proceeded to eat them all in less them a second.
"Hehe, I'll have to make you some more."
"Ya. Now I wanna go outside and boss."
"Okay dokie lokie! We're going outside Twi!" Pinkie replied.
"Okay, Pinkie. But make sure he doesn't do anything bad." Twilight responded.
"Yes Ma'am!" Pinkie replied, doing a salute. We proceeded to head out the door.
A/N: Chapte nine over, hope you enjoyed. Since once a week for these short chapters has to be too long, I'm going to try and update twice every week. End A/N
