A/N: Wow, this story is really nearing the end now! Another four chapters to go and it'll be done. I hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter as much as I liked writing it. It's probably my favourite chapter of the entire story! Please leave me a review to let me know what you think about it. constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin, the series would still be running. Which means I don't own it, obviously.

Chapter Nine

Hey! Don't listen to a word I say.
Hey! The screams all sound the same.
Hey! Though the truth may vary this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

Merlin blinked stupidly a few times before realising what the sound was that had awoken him. His mobile phone was ringing and buzzing. It was an annoying mix, which never failed to get his attention. That was the most important reason he'd installed the horrible song, the other being that it was an upbeat mix that made it impossible to fall back asleep when he was called at night.

Not that that happened all too often. He had a special phone for work, and he rested at the hospital when he was on call. It was only when they were a doctor fell ill and they needed someone on short notice that they would call his personal phone, and only after they'd called his other phone first.

"Merlin speaking," he said as soon as he managed to push down the right button on the phone. With years of practice under his belt he succeeded in keeping most of the fatigue from creeping into his voice. It was still lower than usual, but only just. He was certain someone who didn't know him wouldn't even notice it.

"Merlin? My name is Myra. I'm Arthur's mother. I'm sorry for calling you this late, but I wanted to ask you whether Arthur's there. He was supposed to come here tonight, but he never showed. At first I thought he might have gone out with some friends and had forgotten about the time, but you're the last one on the list and none of the others have seen him. Please tell me that you have. He's been behaving rather odd lately, and I'm really worried," Myra rambled. If she'd have spoken any faster, Merlin wouldn't have been able to make out the individual words at all.

He was already getting dressed by the time she told him who she was, though. His instincts had gone into overtime and had warned him he had to get out of bed as soon as possible. Since he'd used his instincts more than anything to use his magic, he'd always trusted them. Even if there had been a few occasions on which he hadn't been sure why they made him do certain things. One of those occasions had been the moment he'd listened to his instincts and had ignored Kilghara's warning that Mordred, a boy who was barely seven, should die if Arthur were to live.

"I'm sorry, Myra, but he isn't here. But I know a few places he could be. Why don't I go have a look there and have him call you if I find him? If it's me who calls you, then we'll figure out our next move together, okay? But don't worry, we'll have found him in no time," Merlin assured the distressed woman.

"Thank you. I didn't know who else to call. None of the others volunteered to find him," she uneasily admitted. In the background, Merlin could hear Fred grumbling. It warmed his heart to know Arthur had a loving family instead of the one he'd had before. He'd hoped his friends would turn out to be more like the knights had been in those days.

As soon as she hung up, Merlin rushed down the stairs. The speed at which he did that would have made anyone watching feel sick with worry, but he wasn't even aware he was doing something dangerous. His magic would protect him and he needed to get to Arthur as soon as possible.

Picking up his car keys, Merlin made a mental list of places Arthur might have gone to. It was obvious to him that the blond was struggling with the newly awakened memories. They'd talked briefly over the phone a few times, and Arthur had admitted that he'd seen images of his father and the lower town of Camelot, as well as some other places he couldn't name yet. Merlin had offered to name them for him, but he'd said that he preferred to do this on his own as much as possible.

Merlin assumed Arthur had gone to one of the placed that reminded him of the ones he'd been seeing in his dreams for the last month. There were still a few of those around if you knew where to look for them. Merlin was all too aware of that; he'd searched for them since the news Camelot was no more had reached him. Deep down he'd wanted to say goodbye to the people and places he'd left behind, and he'd had to make do with the best substitutes in the end.

The only problem was that the list was lengthy, with places scattered all over England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland and even along the coast of France. It was ironic that Albion seemed to have gotten more scattered than before when Camelot and Arthur disappeared into the legends.

But he had some ways of shortening the list. The place would have to be relatively local and easy to get to. The darkness wouldn't allow for a long journey by foot and Arthur had a job to return to in the morning. He wouldn't want to risk getting himself hurt or lost, as he wouldn't be able to explain all of this to the police or a doctor in any way.

"I think I have just the place to start looking for him," Merlin said out loud to himself after a few minutes of thinking. By that time he was at the car, so he slid in and started it. He usually wen there by foot, but that took almost two hours. There was no way he was letting that much time pass before he reached Arthur.

He turned on the radio to keep his mind from wandering as he drove. He needed to keep his bearings about him. Arthur would need him to be strong, so that is what he would be. If he gave in now and cracked, there wouldn't be enough time to get himself back on track. And that was unacceptable in this situation. He needed to be the one Arthur could rely on, it was the only thing he could be.

Still, his knuckles were white from the strength he was using to hold on to the steering wheel despite his best efforts. He'd have sore fingers later too, but as long as he looked relatively in control things would be fine. It was the way things had been before as well. He only needed to be strong enough to shoulder part of the weight Arthur was carrying, not all of it.

A few minutes later, Merlin parked his car beside a strip of trees. It was off the beaten path, and very few ever ventured into these woods. Rumour had it they were haunted, which served to keep most of the children away. Most of the visitors were teenagers looking for some fun and excitement. And even they didn't hang out here all that often considering that they all claimed to have felt some strange kind of presence here when they returned home.

Merlin of course knew these woods weren't haunted. The Goddess of the Old Religion simply still had a firm grip on these lands, one she wasn't about to relinquish. There weren't all that many of those places left, and Merlin knew they'd end up completely disappearing from existence one day. But he kept praying they wouldn't reach that point for a long time to come.

He now set foot on a small path leading into the woods. The smell of wet grass, leaves and mud welcomed him in. Whenever he came there, he usually felt right at home when the scents of the woods wafted up into his nose, but this time, it was quite the same. He wasn't sure it would ever be.

"There's not going to be a single other soul out here. Anything I see or hear will definitely be Arthur. Now the only question is: where exactly is he? This place is enormous. That might have been part of the attractiveness of it. It would have screamed seclusion, which he's been looking for these last four weeks," Merlin quickly assessed the situation.

He turned around, pondering where he should start. One wrong decision and he wouldn't find Arthur, even if he was there. They could easily miss one another if they didn't happen to stumble across one another by accident. Of course he could use his magic, but in this day and age it was safer not to. Even if there was no one around. People didn't believe in magic anymore, and showing them it was real could be very dangerous.

Fortunately, his heart was as good a guide as any, possibly an even better one, even. There was a lake here, a rather large one at that. Camelot had had two lakes that were similar to this one, so it wouldn't surprise him to find Arthur at the side of it. It might be the closest he could come to feeling like he was back in Camelot at this time.

The walk towards the side of the lake didn't take Merlin more than a minute or two. As soon as he was close by, he saw a flickering light a little further down. It looked like a fire, one very much like the ones they'd made together when they were out hunting. Whether that was because Arthur hadn't thought of another way to keep warm when he came here or because he'd wanted to replicate a certain memory, he didn't know.

He hoped Arthur would eventually tell him, though. It might give him a means to establish a line of communication. If Arthur didn't tell him, he'd have to try and throw him a line. He wasn't sure how far said line would go, but it was better than sitting idly by; he'd never been good at that.

He knew the crunching of the fallen branched beneath his feet would let Arthur know he was approaching. The man would know it was him, their connection was still strong enough for that. And if it failed, then Merlin would protect himself. It had been that way for over a thousand years.

"I hadn't taken you to be one to sneak up on people in the dark. Then again, warlocks are known to be very good at that kind of thing. I just wish I had some memories to tell me whether you are the same. It would make deciding whether to turn around a little easier," Arthur said, his voice easily carried by the cold wind.

Merlin also heard the slight hint of a teasing tone below them, though, and realised Arthur wasn't angry he was there. He was a little upset, but there was no bite to his voice. If there had been, Merlin would have kept his distance. Now, he walked over and sank down beside the blond.

"You will remember all I got up to with and without you in the end. It'll just take a little longer for those memories to drift up, most likely because that will make you feel the most connected to Camelot emotionally. You're probably not ready to make that much of a link with your past, even if you think you are," Merlin told him, letting his head come to rest on Arthur's shoulder.

Arthur slung his arm around his waist, playing with the leaves on the floor with his free hand. Merlin waited for him to continue talking, as it seemed the blond was eager to. He had all night if need be, and he wouldn't let anything interrupt their conversation once it got started. Except for the call to his mother Arthur needed to make.

"Yeah, but the others aren't as nice. At least not all of them. The memories of Uther… of my father… they're filled with a lot of pain. I see us disagree, I see myself doing things I don't really want to do because he asked me. Why is it that those are the first to drift to the surface? Why can't there be more memories of us, good ones like the new memories we're making now?" Arthur asked, sounding more than a little whiny.

"We used to be in a romantic relationship, Arthur. That's different from the relationship we have now. Maybe you're less than ready to accept that things were not as they are between us once. It's normal that something that vital to who you were would take the most trouble to deal with," Merlin said, squeezing Arthur's knee.

He wasn't all too happy with the explanation, but it fitted. They were every bit as close as they had been before they started dating in Arthur's previous life, but they weren't there just yet. The outline was the same, but the drawing wasn't quite finished yet.

"But that's the one thing I am comfortable with, you and me. It's the one thing that doesn't freak me out. Having had a half-sister and another father and never having known my mum in my other life, that's what hard to accept!" Arthur ground out harshly, his free hand curling into a fist and hitting the ground.

Merlin gasped, forgetting all about his resolution to let this be all about Arthur. He hadn't expected Arthur to say that at all. If he hadn't been sitting, his knees would have given way right then and there. Arthur had noticed his reaction and now brought his hand up to cover his mouth.

"Did you mean what you just said? Are you really more okay with us having been together over a thousand years ago than you are with having had another family? Because I thought you might be a little scared by my knowing so much about you, of my knowing so many things you don't about Camelot and its inhabitants. Too much so to want to be together just yet," Merlin said, shifting to be able to look at Arthur.

Arthur cupped Merlin's cheek. He brushed his thumb along Merlin's bottom lip almost as if he didn't realise he was doing it. Merlin kept his mouth shut, not wanting to break the spell of the moment. This was too precious to risk wasting.

"I've been ready since the moment I tucked you into bed that one night. I just didn't think I should be too pushy. And then this whole 'you're King Arthur and I'm Merlin' thing came up and I needed to figure that out. Else, I'd have done this long ago," Arthur breathed, capturing Merlin's lips with his own.

The kiss was gentle and sweet, but with a hint as to what would come in the future. It made Merlin's head spin, and he groaned at the loss when Arthur finally pulled away. The blond man's hand stayed where it was, though, telling Merlin Arthur didn't regret this. It made the nerves that were starting to flutter in his stomach calm down instantly.

"We'll have to start doing this differently from now on, you know. I think it's time for you to tell me about all the things you've seen so far. Then I'll help you make sense of them. It'll make it easier for you to work through it all. And maybe then you can start to remember all the fight we had, the ways we made up and how we got together. Because I'll tell you anything except that. It has to be as special for you this time as it was the first," Merlin grinned.

Arthur's smile was just as goofy as his undoubtedly was, his eyes twinkling just as bright as well. Merlin realised he hadn't been expecting anything like that and he was glad he'd unknowingly given Arthur what he'd been looking for: support and love, two things he'd had to miss for a long time in his first life and that he feared he'd lost in this one.

"Now tell me, what brought you out here? Your mum was so worried she called me, and you're lucky I had this place down at the top of the list of places you might have gone to. I think I deserve an explanation. And after that, you have to call her. I promised I'd make you, and I intend to stick to my word," Merlin sternly told Arthur, although he softened the words by pressing himself into Arthur's side.

Arthur toyed with his hair for a while, not saying anything. Since the blonde hadn't refused to answer the question, Merlin knew he was just looking for the right words to explain it all. He allowed his eyes to close as he waited. Not because he was tired, but as an outward sign of trust.

"I came here because there's a lake that's been haunting my dreams and it looks exactly like this one. In this dream, I'm setting up camp beside it with two other man, all three of us clad in chainmail. You're not in the dream, but I know that you're not far away. No matter how often the dream returns and how often I hear the conversation, I can't remember their names. I don't even know whether they were Knights of the Round Table or not. I hoped that coming here would trigger some more memories. It hasn't, though," Arthur sighed. At the same time he stopped twirling Merlin's hair around his finger.

"You're right, I was there. I was collecting firewood whilst you were setting up camp. I don't know what you were talking about; you fell silent right when I returned. But I could tell you the men's names, if you'd like. Or their exact positions at your court," Merlin suggested in a low whisper.

Arthur contemplated that for a second. While the blond did that, Merlin reached into the pocket of Arthur's pants to retrieve the man's phone. He gently pushed it into his hand. He knew this conversation wouldn't continue for much longer, and he didn't want Arthur to forget to call his mother. She'd sounded like such a dear over the phone that Merlin really wanted Arthur to put her mind at ease.

"I'd like that, both of those things. I think figuring it all out on my own is going to be too much to even try. And if I'm supposed to help my country in a time of need I might not have as much time as it would take," Arthur said.

Merlin pushed that thought away. One of these days he would no doubt find out why Arthur had come back now. But until then, he would not worry too much about it. Destiny had its ways of making sure whatever needed to be done was done. There was no running from it. So there was no need to really dig into it; it would all reveal itself in due time.

"Their names were Gwaine and Lancelot. They were Knights of the Round Table. Gwaine liked to joke around a lot and Lancelot and Gwen were madly in love. Gwaine never failed to help you keep the men's spirits up. He was strong, and the only one braver than him was you. Lancelot was the most noble of them all. He once said I should have been knighted instead of them; he said I was the bravest of them all and you didn't even realise it. It wasn't true, though, you showed him that a little later. But I think that's enough for now. You'll have enough to think about as it is. Go call your mum. And tell her I said hi," Merlin added, getting of his feet so he could give Arthur some privacy.

He was loathe to let go of Arthur, but he didn't want to intrude any more than was strictly necessary.

As Arthur called Myra, Merlin decided it had been a good night considering all that had happened. And he hoped there would be some more nights of exploring the past. Even if he prayed they wouldn't happen in the woods then. At least until it was summer again. Winter nights were too cold to spend outside, even of the first snow hadn't fallen yet. And he was sure Arthur would agree with that.