Talk about a comeback!
It's been a little over a year and a half, but I'm back.
I've been crazy busy, and for that I apologize. I currently am working four jobs (I know, I'm an idiot), so I don't get much 'me time', let alone writing time. When I do that, I know I'm giving up a night's sleep, which is what I did last night. Wrote until 6AM, woke up for work at 7:30AM. I think it's worth it, though.
The worst part about it is that this chapter has been about 75% completed since February. It was practically finished, just needed some rewrites here and there and a bit of editing. Fear not, however, it's done!
Writing again has really inspired me to start my own novel, possibly series. Who knows. I do want to finish this series first before my own book can become a reality, but it's definitely a thought in my mind. A lot of you have expressed a want for me to write my own series. I'll keep you all updated!
For those that have been keeping up with me for the past few years, a lot has changed, a lot has remained the same. I'm so teaching tumbling and gymnastics, but now work at a gym that I helped open. I still model, but am now a published model. I graduated med school, and am now a manager at a hospital. It's a very busy life, but it's so satisfying at the end of the day.
On top of my crazy busy life, I turned 23 two weeks ago. Two days before my birthday, however, I had to put my dog to sleep (love and miss you babygirl). It's been hard, but I actually found myself coming back to this story for comfort, which is something I normally never do. Reading my own writing is hard for me since I'm so critical.
I'm so sorry for making you all wait, but your reviews/comments and messages have made me push through and get this out. I love this story, these characters. Leaving this series unfinished would be a crime, even if I was the only one to read it.
As a thank you for hanging in there, this chapter is a bit longer than normal. Usually I cut each chapter off at a certain amount of characters, but I was on a roll.
I won't keep you any longer, since I've already made you wait a year and a half. I'll try to keep up with my writing, but if it takes a while, just know I'm trying.
I love you all so much and appreciate the support (you have no idea what it means to me). Responses to previous chapter's comments/reviews will be at the bottom of the chapter.
*Quick update since I just noticed this on my profile. Save Us From Ourselves has reached the same amount of reviews as Save Me From Myself in almost HALF the amount of chapters it took the original. WOW. You guys are absolutely mindblowing, seriously. I love you all so much*
I don't own TMR, only my babygirl Sutton.
Thomton fans, buckle up.
You got me in a free fall
You're my sweet surrender
You wrapped me in a white flag in my darkest hours
So tell me will you stay now?
Cause I feel like I'm safe now
You got me in a free fall
You're my sweet surrender
I don't know how long it took us to reach the surface. Minutes, hours, hell, (unrealistically) maybe even days before the intense heat and sunlight was staring me down. Thomas had insisted on carrying me again—my breakdown back in the sewers was enough for him to know that I was definitely not in the right state of mind at the moment. While submerged in the sewer's darkness, Thomas hadn't noticed the new injuries I was sporting; in the daylight, he fell into quite the panic when he noticed the small amount of blood on his hands. A quick onceover of my body had the blood rushing to Thomas' head—whether he knew it was self-inflicted or not, I didn't know. I wasn't planning on telling him. He didn't push the topic, something I was grateful for. I just wanted to sleep.
"Where to now?" Thomas asked quietly, keeping his eyes on me.
"That way'll take us to the mountains," Brenda said, speaking for the first time since we got split up back in The Underneath. She pointed in the direction she wanted to go, earning a wary look from Thomas.
"You sure?".
"Absolutely. Let's go,".
Brenda began to walk ahead of us, but I couldn't move, my limbs were numb. Thomas looked down at me, pain in his eyes.
"Stop looking at me like that," I muttered, pushing off of my knees gently to stand up. He lunged for me, making sure I wouldn't fall, holding me by the arm.
"I'm not trying to—,".
"You're not trying to do anything, Thomas. Stop," I snapped, immediately regretting it when I saw the look in Thomas' eyes.
Sighing, I forced my legs to move, wincing with every step. We walked in silence for what felt like forever, but despite my outburst, Thomas didn't leave my side, his fingers at my elbow, just in case.
"There. See it?" Brenda asked, pointing at the vast mountains ahead of us. They glittered in the sunlight; it was beautiful, actually. The empty, barren wasteland that lay before us, however, was not.
"How could we not? They're right in front of our shuck faces," I grumbled, rubbing my eyes. Brenda chuckled lightly, her eyebrows rising.
"Very true,".
"How long 'till we get there?" Thomas spoke, squinting in the bright light of day. The sun was beginning to set, but that didn't stop the heat from bearing down on us.
"Hah, funny, Thomas. Those mountains? We won't be seeing them for at least a day, and that's if we start wakling at sunrise," Brenda scoffed. As she spoke, she wiped the sweat from her hairline.
"Wait, sunrise? We aren't leaving now?" Thomas asked, clearly confused.
"We leave now, we'll be stuck out there in the open at night—you think we're in danger here? Get stuck out there," Brenda pointed out to the plain desert for emphasis, "You won't see tomorrow,".
"Can't be worse then what I've been through in this damn city,".
Brenda and Thomas both turned to look at me, but said nothing.
"What, can you argue that?".
"Not really, babe, not really," Brenda sighed, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. After a brief moment of silence, Thomas spoke, asking about where we would be staying for the night. Surveying the surrounding area and our options, Brenda smiled lightly.
"Follow me,".
After a minute or so of walking, Brenda led us to a long, dark alleyway filled with old automobiles.
"Great idea, Brenda. A long, dark alleyway where no one can hear our screams," Thomas scoffed, sarcasm dripping through his voice.
"That's one way to look at it—the right way to look at this beautiful alleyway is that Cranks have no reason to come down here… It's a dead-end, and Cranks don't do dead-ends. There's no point for them to walk down here just to turn around. Plus, there's a bunch of old cars, trucks preferably, that we can not only sleep in, but hide in as well for the night," Brenda explained, shooting Thomas a "I thought this through way better than you" look.
"She just burned you so good," I couldn't help but laugh. Thomas rolled his eyes, although unable to hide the tiny smile on his face. Heading towards the wreckage, he examined all of the different cars for possible sleep. Eventually picking a large truck with two front seats and a bench in the back, he turned to face us.
"This one's perfect, just enough room for three,".
Throwing her hands up in the air, Brenda shook her head.
"I appreciate the offer, but I think I'm gonna fly solo for the night, give Sutton some space. She deserves it after the day she's had.". If it wasn't for the day I'd had, I'd be touched.
"You sure? We're probably safer staying together," Thomas said, the look of worry evident on his face.
"Positive; I can take care of myself.. Plus, Sutton could use the extra leg room,".
"Thanks?" I muttered, the confusion registering across my face.
"Get some sleep, guys. We're leaving at sunrise,".
Shooting us a friendly, tired smile, Brenda headed into the automobile wreckage herself, picked out a tiny light blue car for herself and hopped in, popping the locks on all of the doors. I couldn't help but giggled at the sight of a peace sign hitting the window for a second, but only for a second, as the peace sign turned into the middle finger.
"She's sweet," I sighed, walking over to meet Thomas at the large truck. Thomas stopped me before I could open the passenger door.
"Shuck no, Sutton, you're getting the back seat,".
"It's fine, Thomas, you take it. Your day has been just as rough," I tried, but Thomas wasn't having it.
"Don't lie, Sutton, we all know that it wasn't,".
Without an answer, I allowed Thomas to pull open the door and help me in to the back-bench seat of the truck, shutting the door behind me as quietly as he could. Nodding contently to himself, Thomas opened the driver's seat door and hopped in, reclining it back as far as he could without hitting my legs.
"Comfy?" he asked, locking us in for the night.
"Somewhat, surprisingly,".
"Good that,".
We continued to sit in silence as the sun sank below the mountains, below the tall skyscrapers behind us, below the desert ahead, until we were in complete darkness. Tried to close my eyes, tried to sleep, but it wasn't working. My whole body was throbbing, the pain and shock of the day behind us finally setting in. Newt was gone. Newt was dead. My body was a wreck. We were being led to who knows where by some girl that was eventually going to lose her mind. Peachy.
"Can we talk about it?" Thomas' voice whispered in the darkness, making me jump.
"Talk about what?" I sighed. I wasn't in the mood to talk.
"What happened earlier, back in The Underneath,".
Oh. That. I didn't respond, couldn't respond, for a solid minute. Why talk about it? When I didn't answer, Thomas decided to take matters into his own hands.
"I killed someone,". My head popped up at that, my interest piqued.
"You what?" I asked, rolling on to my side despite the pain I was in.
"The Crank that was chasing us..".
"The 'Rose stole my nose' guy?".
"Yeah, that one. Had us pinned in a tiny compartment in the wall, he would've gotten Brenda. Us or him, you know? I almost didn't do it. Still feels like I could never do something like that. Brenda was yelling, screaming at me to do it," Thomas explained quietly, really processing what he did.
"It was the right thing," I said, looking at him in the darkness.
"Was it? Before all of this, he was just a guy. Some poor guy that drew the short stick,".
Listening to his story, I could hear the pain in his voice, feel it. I so badly wanted to console him, tell him he did the right thing, that he needed to know that. My body was screaming, crying in pain—so exhausted. It honestly didn't feel like I even had the energy to do that.
"I'm not… I'm not glad that you killed him, Thomas, but I'm glad that you're still here. If you hadn't have killed him, I'd be alone. Brenda would be gone, you would be gone. I already lost… If you weren't here there wouldn't really be a point,".
In the darkness, Thomas' hand made its way to my cloth-covered thigh, rested his hand there.
"Never again,".
There it was. He knew. Thomas knew what I'd done. He'd heard my history before and was able to put the pieces together. It didn't take a genius to do so. I didn't answer and he dropped it after that, said no more on the subject. In those two words he had made it clear that he wasn't leaving, was here to stay. There'd be no need for that. But Newt was gone, and just from that, I wasn't so sure. It would take a strong person to move on, and I'm not that strong.
"I wonder who owned this car," I whispered, making Thomas chuckle.
"Why, think you might know the person?".
"No, you slinthead, just makes you really think about things. Think about before the Glade, if only I could remember. Who taught me how to drive, or you? Who taught us how to ride bikes, or how to blow whistle. Did we even get stuff like that, or were we always WICKED's playthings?". Thomas took a moment before answering.
"I think that you're special. I also think that if you didn't get to do things like that, you deserve to, and will. You deserve happiness,". A tear fell from my eye, but I didn't bother wiping it away—it would take too much effort.
"Thank you, Thomas," I say, leaning closer into the touch of his hand.
"I'm just being honest, Sutton—,".
"No, Thomas. For keeping me going,".
"You need to stay away from the boy, he's no good for you,".
"Oh, and you're a good judge of character? Jealousy isn't a good look on you," I sneered, writing notes down on a clipboard.
"Jesus, you're still angry over that? You know I'm just trying to protect you,".
"Oh, so sending him to Quarantine was okay?".
"He was out of line, Sutton,".
"No, you were out of line for thinking that you had any right to do that! You set back our research,".
"No, I stopped you from being held up, distracted… Late for meetings, staying up too late, you're too important to this to be held back by that wretched boy,".
"And he's not important? Everyone here plays some sort of part, I thought you were able to see that. Your true colors are showing,". The hurt and concern in the man's eyes was evident, but I didn't care. It wasn't right, and I was busy.
"Yes, Sutton, but some are more important than others. What about Teresa? Why can't you hang out with her?".
"I see her every day, do you want us having sleepovers too?". He didn't know what to say to that, so he changed the subject. Hopefully he had gotten his point across.
"What do you say we go get lunch, huh? Cheesesteak, extra mushrooms? Your favorite,".
"I'll pass, Janson, I'm good,". Assistant Director Janson. His nametag glistened against the meek lighting. The disappointment in Janson's eyes was evident.
"First name basis, now, I see. Fine. You know where I'll be if you change your mind,".
"And you know where I won't be since I won't be changing my mind," I sneered, refusing to look at the man. Nodding, Janson turned and left the room without a backward glance, something I was thankful for.
"Wake up, Sutton. Wake up,".
"Newt?".
Silence.
"No,". Blurry eyes opened and Thomas' short hair came into view.
"What happened?" I asked as I hesitantly sat up to look outside for danger. It was still dark out but a scream could be heard in the distance.
"You were crying. Crying and calling for him,". Thomas told me quietly, his eyes glancing down at the floor of the truck. I watched his teeth as he spoke, the whites of them shining in the darkness. I finally noticed the dried tears against my cheeks.
"Sorry," I whispered.
"Don't," Thomas muttered, shaking his head.
"No, I need to. I keep taking everything out on you and—,".
"I said don't, Sutton,".
My lips formed a hard silent line as he snapped at me. The regret appeared in his eyes immediately but the silence remained. It was then I noticed his hand on my thigh, It had been there since I woke up. Feeling the tension in the air, Thomas caught me staring down at his hand and I sighed, letting my eyes close in exhaustion. I heard Thomas clear his throat, pull his hand away from my bare skin. A jerk reaction, my hand shot out and gripped tightly onto his.
"Stay," I whispered, closing my eyes once more. It was as if I could feel the heat radiating off of his body, the uncertainty in his eyes that I didn't even need to see to know that it was there.
"Sutton—,".
"Please,". His hand was tense in mine for a moment before finally relaxing against my palm.
"Let go," Thomas sighed, dropping his head back against his seat's headrest.
In the darkness I felt his warm hand land on my thigh, nails rubbing up and down my leg in a soothing motion. We sat in a somewhat comfortable silence for what seemed like forever, his fingers never leaving my skin. I fell into a trance-like state, his nails scratching lightly against my skin. My body was floating, vibrating against the pads of his skin.
"Sorry," I said once more after the silence became unbearable. The soothing rhythm he had made against my skin halted for a moment before resuming its original pace. His silence came with a feeling of uncertainty, clearly not knowing what was going on in my mind. Had I reached the next level of this crazy disease? Did Newt push me over the edge? It sure as hell felt like it.
"Does the name Janson sound familiar to you, Thomas?" I spoke randomly, making Thomas jump in our broken silence.
"No. Should it?" he asked, glancing over at me. I shrugged, thinking back to the dream I had had earlier.
"I don't know. I think so. I think it's Rat Man,". Thomas' movements against my skin halted at the mention of the white-haired man.
"Wait, who? Rat Man? Sutton, what the hell are you on about?".
"Rat Man. His name is Janson. Assistant Director Janson,". Thomas was quiet for a minute in an attempt to take in everything I was rambling on about.
"Sutton, I know things have been so hard for you today. I know. But, what's going on? Help me understand,".
"I saw him, Thomas. I saw him. In a dream, or a vision, I don't know. It feels like it happened before.. It felt so real and this isn't the first time this has happened," I explained, a blank look on my face as I spoke.
"You think you're having visions of the past and never thought it would be a good idea to tell someone?" Thomas sounded exasperated.
"I did, and now he's dead,". I growled. He struggled to find the right thing to say, unsure of how to help me. I wish I could help myself.
"What happened in this… Vision?" Thomas was unable to deny his curiosity.
"He wanted me to stay away from someone, but it was strange; uncomfortable. I don't like him," I shuddered, thinking back to the conversation we had had in the Glader safehouse back before the Scorch. Rat Man, or Janson or whatever, had wanted me to go back to WICKED with him. Pleaded with me, practically. Nothing was adding up. "Forget it, forget I said anything,".
"You should get some sleep, Sutton. The sun will be up soon," the boy insisted, his brown eyes glittering in the moonlight.
"I doubt I'll be falling back to sleep any time soon," I scoffed, knowing insomnia was inevitable. I could sense Thomas struggling in the dark, thoughts running through his mind. A decision must've been made in his head when he jumped up and crawled awkwardly into the back seat with me, his body brushing up against mine as he pushed by me. I watched him settle into the seat on the other end of the bench before he looked over at me.
"Come here," Thomas sighed, waving me over.
"For?" I asked.
"Shut up and come here, Sutton," Thomas chuckled, rolling his eyes at me. Scooting over slowly, I made my way over towards Thomas, pain coursing through my body as I moved. "That's it," he muttered, pulling me against him when I was close enough. My body collapsed against his, head falling into his lap. Eyes fluttered closed at the touch of large hands making their way through my hair. "You should leave your hair down more often," Thomas whispered, tugging on my ponytail. "Get some sleep,".
"Wish me luck," I muttered, but before I knew it, darkness was engulfing me. I almost missed the kiss against the peak of my head.
Almost.
When I woke up I was alone. My body was draped across the back seat at an uncomfortable angle and I felt it in my bones. Sitting up slowly, thoughts of everything going on crashed into my brain at once, finally breaking the floodgates now that I was alone again. Being stuck out here with Thomas. Newt's death. The possibility of becoming a Crank if we didn't find that Cure. Everything that was anything was beating me up, engulfing me. My head dropped between my knees, praying to whoever was listening to make it all go away. Fingernails were digging into flesh, drawing small drops of blood where a knife had once cut into skin like paper. Thomas' disapproving face came to me in my mind.
"Shit," I whispered, my voice cracking.
Warmth. Warm droplets of blood painting my fingertips calmed me, relaxed me. Long blonde hair, toned arms. Newt. There he was. I let out a breath, running my fingers against the underside of my shirt, wiping away the evidence. Leaning against the truck door, I pushed it open. Squinting as the sun hit me full force. My hand flew up to my face, saving my eyes from the hot sun and air.
"Thomas?". The ground below was cracked gravel, pebbles and weeds breaking through the earth. "Dammit, it's hot… Brenda?" my voice broke from the heat as I called out for Thomas and Brenda. Where were they?
Crack.
I jumped at the sound coming from the light blue car where Brenda had spent the night. Quiet voices could be seen from the other side of the car. I began to look around quietly for any kind of weapon, something I could use. Peeking over the back of the truck, I found a small but useful knife. Reaching over to grab it, I gripped it tight and made my way over to Brenda's car. The voices were quiet, filling me with dread. Had Cranks found Brenda? Thomas? Please not Thomas, I thought to myself. Arriving at the car, I jumped out from behind the car, bracing my body the best I could.
"Jesus, Sutton, what the hell?" Thomas shouted, jumping against the car in defense. It was only Brenda and Thomas. I couldn't help but take in every little bit of their situation. Brenda's shoulder was touching Thomas' ever so lightly and, to my surprise, their hands were intertwined.
"I was calling for you guys. No one answered," I said, my voice monotone. Thomas' panicked gaze followed my eyeline to their hands before quickly pulling his hand away from Brenda's. "Sorry for interrupting. I freaked a little,", I said, looking down at my boots.
"We didn't hear you, S, sorry," Brenda shrugged, standing up and brushing off her pants like nothing had happened.
"I noticed," I muttered under my breath, running a shaky hand through my hair. Thomas was stock still where he sat against the blue car, a red blush on his cheeks.
"Sutton, it—,".
"It's nothing, Tom. Thanks for letting me sleep in,". His lips formed into a tight line, his head giving me a stern nod. It was nothing. Really, it wasn't. But if that was the case, why did I feel so betrayed? Catching on to the awkward air between Thomas and I, Brenda spoke up, clearing her throat.
"Anywho, now that we're all up, we should probably get going. It's a long walk to the mountains and Jorge'll be pissed if we make him wait too long,".
"You heard the woman, let's get going," I said when Thomas remained quiet. Flipping my new tiny knife in my hand, I slipped it into my left boot, wincing as I bent down. Seeing me in pain made Thomas jump up, jogging over to help. "I got it," I told him sharply, shooting my hand out to stop him.
"Sutton, come on," Thomas said angrily, rolling his eyes.
"I'm done taking advantage of you," I said quickly before turning and heading over the where Brenda was standing, surveying the alleyway. We stood next to each other in silence waiting for Thomas to catch up. I couldn't help but feel a little bit hurt when he stood next to Brenda.
"We wanna be quick when leaving the city, just to be safe. Most of the Cranks should be hiding out right now, but there's always one. We'll keep an eye out for food on the way, but—,".
"What's that?" I said, interrupting Brenda's speech.
"What's what?" she replied, an edge to her voice. I was squinting in the sunlight but could see something glistening against the sunlight on the alleyway wall. "Sutton?" Brenda spoke again, snapping her fingers in my face to get my attention. Brushing her hand away, I walked as fast as I could without feeling pain over to the silver part of the wall. It was a plaque of some kind. When I read it, my eyes grew wide.
"Thomas,". The plaque was almost identical to the ones back in the Maze, except for what it was inscribed with. "Thomas!" I shouted when he wasn't coming over. He must've heard the urgency in my voice, enough to make him run over. Thomas had no words and honestly, neither did I. Engraved into the plaque, in big bold letters, read:
THOMAS, YOU'RE THE REAL LEADER.
"Alright, Brenda, what the hell is going on?" Thomas growled, sweat beading at his hairline.
"Thomas, let me explain,".
"No, Brenda, really. What the fuck is going on?" I said, noticing the slight shake in Thomas's body. He was freaking out.
"Look, I don't know, okay? I don't. Those plaques just showed up one day when Jorge and I were scavenging. No clue where they came from. But then you guys showed up, and when he heard your name was Thomas? We knew we had to take a chance on you guys," Brenda stuttered, clearly feeling attacked.
"So, you knew, this whole time? You're using me? Us?" Thomas was livid at this point, the veins in his neck bulging.
"Honestly? Yes. Those things show up one day and then boom, a guy leading a group of people with the same name falls into our lap? We weren't gonna let you get away,".
"You son of a bitch. We trusted you! For all we know, you could be working for them. This could just be another one of WICKED's tests," I swore, just as angry as Thomas. Thomas already blamed himself for so much. Now this?
"You're not coming with us. You ruined this the minute you decided to hide this," Thomas exclaimed, crossing him arms in fury.
"Please, you two can't make it to the mountains without me. And if you show up without me, what do you think Jorge will do, huh? Just let you go skipping on about your day? Wrong, Thomas. He'll slit both of your throats quicker than you could say Crank!" Brenda argued, throwing her arms up into the air.
"You can come with us. But you're not touching that Cure," Thomas said, sneering at Brenda. I glanced over at Thomas, surprised. Yes, what she had done wasn't right, hiding that from us. Especially Thomas. But to deny her the only thing keeping her alive and sane?
"Thomas…".
"Not now, Sutton,".
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't say anything because I knew this was how you'd both react. I can't even imagine what you must be thinking right now. We were using you guys, yes. But you guys.. You're good people. Both of you. Neither of you deserve that, and I'm sorry," Brenda sighed. I watched her closely, analyzing her every move. Her apology seemed sincere and, for now, it was enough for me. Thomas didn't seem to be on the same page as me, however. His eyebrows were scrunched up tight, angry.
"Let it go, Thomas. At least for now," I told him but he wasn't listening. Reaching up, I placed my hand on his shoulder. His gaze shot down to me, eyes softening the slightest bit.
"I trusted her, Sutton. I'm the reason we're in this mess. I'm the reason Newt's gone. I'm the reason he's dead," Thomas' voice was sad, his voice breaking. At the mention of his name, my eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out memories, thoughts.
Thump.
All three of us jumped, looking all around us.
Thump-thump.
"Where is that coming from?" I whispered, my grip on Thomas' shoulder tighter than before. The thumping only got louder, resonating all around us, bouncing off the alleyway walls before it moved up and into the sky.
"We have to go," Brenda whispered, nodding towards the desert in between us and our destination.
"What if it's our friends?" Thomas whispered quickly, a crazy look in his eyes. I hadn't seen that look on him before. I didn't like it. Was it the Flare?
"Thomas, that's not our friends," I tried to reassure him, but he was done listening. Shrugging my grip off of him, he took off running in the direction of where the sounds had began, leaving us to chase after him.
"Damn idiot!" Brenda spat, taking my hand in hers to pull me towards Thomas. Little did we know, there was a pair of stairs at the end of the alleyway leading to a beat-up wooden door with a small slot in the top.
"Thomas, please, our friends are not in there," I began to plead with him, shaking his arm when we finally caught up.
"But—,".
"Listen to her, Thomas. It's not them. Let's go while we still can," Brenda sighed, a look of sympathy on her face. Looking down at me, it was like Thomas finally snapped out of whatever funk he was in. He saw the look of terror in my eyes and knew he had screwed up.
"Okay," he nodded, turning to lead us away the hole in the wall. "Dammit,". Thomas knew he had fucked up big time when three Cranks were waiting for us at the other end of the alleyway.
"Going somewhere?".
"Did you guys hear about our party?" the one woman of the group asked, her greasy red hair shining against the sun. Before the Flare she had been pretty. Vibrant red hair fell to her shoulders, pretty features. Now she looked worn, tired, but still alert.
"Party? No, we're actually just looking for some friends. We're new to this area," Brenda smiled, shaking her head at the mention of a party. A Crank party was not something I was too fond of going to.
"New, huh? Well, then, welcome to WICKED's Crankland. This is where they dump the worst of the worst," one of the men, with short messy black hair said, bowing ridiculously.
"Worst of the worst? You guys don't seem so terrible," Brenda told them, her head tilting to the side in fake confusion.
"Thanks, doll, we don't invite the full-gones to our parties. Half-gone at best. A fight or two maybe, kick to the dick here or there, but nothing to worry about," the third man explained, winking at Brenda.
"Kicks to the dick, okay.. Doesn't sound so bad, right Thomas?" Brenda smirked over in Thomas' direction, but he was still on edge. The three seemed to like Brenda, but who knows what a Crank is actually thinking. Hell, they probably don't even know what they're thinking.
"You know, with there only bein' one guy with you ladies, you could have some problems around here; might wanta consider stickin' with us," the Crank with black hair ran his tongue along his teeth and I felt ill. If there was ever a shitty situation to be in, it would be this one. At the mention of sticking close the men, Thomas quickly stepped in front of me, standing between the Cranks and myself. The redhead noticed, a twinkle in her eye.
"What's the matter, pretty boy? That your girl? Don't worry 'bout Roy here, he's harmless,". Thomas smiled at them, shaking his head.
"I'm sure he is. Unfortunately, we do have to get going. If we have time, though, we'll definitely circle back. A party sounds fun,". The third man, who was actually somewhat good-looking, took a small step towards Thomas.
"Why leave when you can party with us? You're invited. We insist. I'd also love a dance with your girlfriend, she's so… Clean. Pretty. You wouldn't mind, would you?". I could see the disgust in Thomas' handsome features—he looked like he was going to be sick.
"We really don't have the time, but we appreciate it," he said. It was then that I heard the gun click. Handsome blonde turned the safety off on the rusty gun he had pulled out of his back pocket, pointing it directly at Thomas.
"I said you're invited,". Thomas began to speak but lost his voice when Roy pulled out a knife, the woman a respective screwdriver with a blood covered tip.
"So. How 'bout that party?" the woman smirked, twirling the weapon.
"Guys, look—," Brenda started, throwing her hands up in defense, but Thomas beat her to it.
"Sounds like fun. We're in,". Both Brenda and I looked at Thomas in shock and surprise. We're going to the party?
"That's more like it. Boy, this is going to be so much fun!" the woman squealed in excitement, clapping her grimy hands together.
"Do I get a dance? Just one, only need one," the man asked me again, smiling slowly. I could feel Thomas tense up.
"You got it. One dance," I smiled back, my hand resting on Thomas' back in reassurance. The muscles in his back were tight in anger.
"That's what I like to hear. Hear that, boy? Your girl's gonna give me a show! You guys, first," he smirked, waving the gun in the direction of the stairs. Thomas' hands were clenched into fists, but at the feel of my hand on his back, he simply nodded and turned for the stairs. Taking my hand in his the three of us walked toward the stairs, a gun, knife and screwdriver at our backs. It was only a party.
What could possibly go wrong?
Thomas had had to use a special Crank knock to get us into the building, per the Cranks holding weapons to our backs request. When we were finally let in, Thomas was greeted with cheers.
"You guys know me?" he had asked, confused. They further explained that they had watched us all night—when they saw our reaction to the plaque, they knew we had to join them.
"You're the famous Thomas!" they had cheered and exclaimed, practically bowing at his feet. The group was insistent that by the end of the day, we'd want to join their group. Looking around the 'club', I knew that that was definitely not the case. Random lightbulbs were hung from string in the ceiling, along with flashing strobe lights. The floor beneath my feet was pulsating with the loud, blaring music, filling my body with bass. It was so loud I wanted to cover my ears. Brenda, Thomas and I stood in the middle of the room in a huddle, unsure of what to do.
"Should we dance?" Brenda yelled over the music. Thomas shrugged where we stood, my hand was still intertwined with his.
"Did I hear a dance? With my new favorite girl?" the blonde man appeared out of nowhere, making me jump.
"You heard right, we were just about to dance," I stuttered, squeezing Thomas' hand tight.
"No, you and I are going to dance. You promised," he winked, yanking my hand out of Thomas'.
"I can't dance with her first?" Thomas spoke loudly, standing close to my side.
"Nope! Have fun,". In mere seconds, I was ripped away from Thomas and Brenda and pulled across the room to what appeared to be a dancefloor filled with Cranks. Looking behind me, the only two people I knew in the room disappeared into the throng of dancing Cranks. Looking back into the eyes of the Crank I had promised a dance to, I was terrified. Soon enough his grimy hands were on my waist, pulling me to him. We began to sway to the loud, poppy music, colored lights bouncing off our faces.
"Name's Erik,".
"Sutton,".
"Beautiful name for a beautiful lady," Erik smiled, spinning me in a circle. He spun me fast, the lights making me dizzy. He saw me wince from the pain and raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Rough day?".
"You could say that," I answered, smiling sadly. Despite being absolutely horrified of my situation (stuck with Cranks and Thomas nowhere to be found), I tried my best to look and act normal.
"I could tell from when we found you guys last night. And not from the bruises," Erik told me, eyes moving up and down my body. I tried not to grimace when I felt a hand slide down to my butt.
"How's that? Ah!" I yelped when Erik's hand landed on my bandaged leg, squeezing where a cut was hiding.
"What made you want to do that?". Erik's eyes were sparkling with intrigue and curiosity, his fingers massaging the bandage wrapped around my upper thigh.
"It's a long story," I whimpered, feeling disgusted.
"I have something that could remedy that. You know, less pain and blood, same euphoria. No evidence,". Eyes casting towards the floor, I played dumb.
"I don't know what you're talking about,". His lips were against my ear, hot moist breath on my skin. My skin was crawling.
"Oh, I think you do. Just as strong, but better. I'll be back,". Just like that, he was gone, disappearing into the crowd. I stood by myself in a crowded room, hugging my body tight.
Looking around, I was terrified. Where was Thomas? My cut was currently pulsing after Erik pressed on it, reminding me of Newt. Loud music was blaring in my ears, the lights blinding me. Someone bumped into me, knocking me forward a little bit. The person ran past me cackling, a drink in hand. I started to breathe heavier and faster, panicking. Pulsing, thumping, pain. Numb. My fingers were beginning to tingle, my vision was getting blurry. Zeroing in on a random Crank to keep focus, but my vision was beginning to blur. I couldn't breathe. Newt. Was this what it felt like to lose your mind? Was this the Gone? My knees hit the hard floor, my breathing getting quicker. Hyperventilating. Where was Thomas? Where was Newt?
"Dance, dance, dance!" a voice screamed, grabbing my arm and forcing me to my feet.
"No," I muttered, but no one could hear me.
"DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!".
"Hey! Let her go," a voice yelled, de-fogging my brain just the slightest. He was tall, short dark hair. Brown eyes. At least a head or two taller than me. He was hugging me tight, a warm hand on the back of my neck. "It's okay, baby girl, it's okay,".
"Newt?".
"Sutton,". "
Newt,". Newt took my chin in his hands, tilting my head up to face him.
"Sutton, it's me. Thomas. Are you okay? Did he do anything to you?". I blinked hard, forcing my vision to clear. Thomas. It was Thomas. He found me.
"No,".
"Thank God," he sighed in relief, pulling me in close for another hug. I felt his lips in my hair. For a minute I was engulfed in Thomas, his scent, his body, his everything. There were so many Cranks, so many terrible things in this room, but Thomas was here. I reached up, my hand grabbing tight at the end of his hair at the back of his neck.
"We need to leave!" I whimpered against his chest, feeling him nod against my head.
"I know. We can't leave without Brenda, though. The redhead insisted she get us drinks and took Brenda with her; it's like they want to separate us,".
"Okay. We'll wait for her to get back and then we need to leave. I can't… I can't be here, Thomas," I said, my breathing heavy.
"I know, I know,".
"There you are, beautiful! Thought I lost ya. I see you found Thomas," Erik cheered from behind us, I squeezed Thomas even tighter, if that was even possible.
"What can I say, we don't like to be separated for too long," Thomas chuckled hesitantly, not letting go of me.
"Got that drink from Sherry that you asked for. Drink up," Erik said, smiling as he handed Thomas a cup of dirty brown liquid. Thomas took one look at it before shaking his head.
"Not yet. Haven't had water in quite some time, we need that before any drinking,". Erik tilted his head in question, like he hadn't comprehended what Thomas had said.
"Maybe you didn't hear me. Sherry got you a drink. Drink,". Thomas hesitated once more before letting me go, taking the drink from Erik. I shook my head no ever so slightly, just so Erik couldn't see, but Thomas nodded at me, his way of telling me it's okay. They saw him as a god, not a monster. They had no reason to harm him, right? Tilting his head back, Thomas gulped the drink down, swallowing the glass in its entirety. His face scrunched up in disgust at what he had just drank.
"Wow," he coughed.
"Great, right? Now for you, sunshine. Got something better,". Spinning me around so I was facing Erik and not Thomas, I saw a shiny needle in the palm of his hand.
"Woah, Erik, I didn't want—," I backed up into Thomas, but Erik grabbed my arm quickly.
"It's okay, Sutton. There's no pain. Just bliss. Just bliss,".
"Erik, please, stop. Erik!" I screeched, but had no control when Erik pulled me into him, injecting whatever was in the needle into my arm. "No. No, no, no. What was in that, Erik?" I began to cry, wincing as he pulled the bevel of the needle of my skin.
"Just wait. It's bliss," Erik winked before walking away, dropping the needle on the ground.
"Thomas, why didn't you help me? I don't… I'm scared, Thomas," I whimpered. My brain was already beginning to spin.
Turning around, Thomas' eyes were watery and distant. The pain throughout my body was melting away, being replaced with a warmth I've never felt before. For a second my thoughts flashed backed to hiding in the Underneath, with the knife against my skin. It felt so good, but only for a second. I blinked rapidly, my fingers reaching up to touch my lips. My body was on fire in a matter of seconds.
"Thomas…".
Just wait. It's bliss.
My eyes closed, rolling into my head. My body was on fire but in such a good way. I couldn't think straight and it was perfect.
"Thomas," I sighed, eyes still closed. His hands were on my arm, running his fingers through a small drop of blood that had spilled from the needle site. Finally looking at him again, it was like he was glowing. His skin was radiating, pulsing with the music. His eyes were so, so bright, staring directly into my soul. I could see the veins in his arms bulging, his muscles on display. I couldn't breathe. Thomas's lips fell apart, slightly, glancing down at my own lips.
"What was in that drink?" Thomas managed to mutter, his hand running its way up my arm, over my shoulder, landing against my neck. I felt like I was going to explode.
"What was in that needle?" I replied, but I couldn't look away from him. All I saw was Thomas. "Can we dance?" I asked, blinking fast.
"I don't think—," Thomas started to say, but went quiet when my hands landed on his chest.
"Let's dance,". He was quiet, but nodded. Whatever these Cranks had given us, it wasn't good; why'd it feel so right?
I let Thomas lead me to where all of the Cranks were congregating, lost in the music. Our feet dragged behind us until he stopped, bumping into me when I didn't stop walking. I wanted to laugh but nothing came out. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I moved in closer without any hesitation. Why did I feel so comfortable? We were supposed to be doing something, waiting for someone.. Right? Thomas remained quiet as he intently watched me begin to sway my hips to the music, nails scratching against the nape of his neck. I felt the goosebumps on his skin against my own.
"What are we doing?" he wondered out loud, his hands falling against my hips.
Thomas' hands on my skin, his scent, his body against mine, I couldn't handle it. Everything was heightened. I felt like I was spinning. I really was. Thomas was spinning me around, his strong arms wrapping around my torso, pressing me up against him. His hips stirred against mine and my breath hitched. My hair fell loose around my shoulders and down my arms—Thomas had freed my hair from its hair-tie, dropping it to the floor. My head dropped to the side when he leaned into my neck, nuzzling against my skin.
"I haven't felt like this, ever, Sutton,".
"Why do we feel like this?" I gasped, reaching up to keep cheek trapped against my neck.
"They drugged us," Thomas realized, letting go of my hips suddenly. I spun around quickly, missing the contact, needing the contact.
"I could think of worse things to feel, Thomas,". Thomas looked surprised at what he was hearing, as if never expecting to hear it.
"I don't.. I don't get it,". My hands flew up to his face, his cheeks.
"I feel like my skin is on fire, Thomas. I can't breathe. And if it's the drug, fine, but you're sure as hell not helping," I told him, biting my bottom lip. He groaned at the sight, squeezing his eyes shut tight.
"No, Sutton, I promised Newt I would take care of you, not take advantage of you,".
Out of nowhere, I saw Brenda. Brenda and Thomas sitting hand-in-hand by the car, ever so close.
"It's because of her, isn't it? Brenda," I laughed, dropping my hands to my sides.
"Wait, what?" Thomas asked, clearly confused, the drink muddying his brain.
"You feel something for her, that's great. I'm happy for you,".
"No, Sutton, I don't. I don't feel anything for her,".
"Then what? What, Thomas? Is it because of everything that's happened to me? You think I'm hopeless, useless? Someone else's sloppy seconds?" I was word vomiting now and I had no idea where all of this was coming from. Had this been there all along?
"Jesus Christ, Sutton, no! All I've ever wanted since I showed up at the Glade, since I saw you're face waiting for me.. I wanted you. It's always been you but for you, it's always been him. Newt," Thomas explained, the pain in his eyes clear. His speech was slow and slurred, but every word still had an effect on me, my body turning to jello.
"Why does this have to be so hard?" I asked him, my brain turning to mush from the needle. I couldn't focus.
"I wish you would've met me first. Back in the Glade. And I'm sorry for being so selfish, but it's true. If I have to drink some magic drink to tell you that, so be it,". A tear fell down my cheek.
"I'm glad you're here,". He looked down at me, his big eyes filled with something of a high.
"Dammit, I'm sorry, Sutton," Thomas said, unsure of what he was even saying or doing. One minute I was looking up at him, the next his lips were crashing against mine.
The minute his lips landed on mine, my nerves felt everything, every part of his lips, his kiss. Parting my lips, I finally kissed him back without a thought. Thomas' hands fall to my hips, gripping tight. My hips are pulled into his, pushing back into his hands. It's a push and pull game when I reach up to grasp both sides of his strong jaw. I can feel the urgency in his kiss, like he's been waiting forever for this moment. His lips leave mine and I find myself on my toes trying to reach his lips again. He's looking down at me, a drunk, goofy smile on his face.
"Jesus, you're beautiful,".
Before I can respond, he's tugging me along by the hand until I'm against the club wall. Thomas is holding me there, breathing me in, leaving kisses against my neck. My hands are in his hair, holding him tight against my skin until his lips reach mine once more. I'm on my toes again to reach him, wanting, needing to be closer. Looking into his eyes I finally get what Erik was saying.
Bliss.
"Sutton…".
"Thomas, I don't want to talk right now,".
"Shuck me, Sutton, I love you,".
Even in my high state, I fell back to my heels.
"I love you. I always have,". Had this been a normal situation, who knows what I'd be thinking right now. Now, however, I only see Thomas.
"Can we go somewhere? Somewhere else?" I asked him, running my hands down his chest to land on his stomach. Looking into my eyes, there's a small bit of uncertainty in his eyes.
"Promise me you won't regret this tomorrow,".
"I could never regret you, Thomas,".
Alright, that's it for now! Chapter 9. I hope it was worth the ridiculously long wait. For those who have returned, thank you for not giving up on me. I plan to write more frequently and if I don't, please continue to yell at me. I want this series to get the proper ending it deserves, and I know you all do as well.
For those who have moved on from SUFO, thank you for all of the love you have given me and this story. It will never lessen.
For any new readers, welcome! I hope you're just as excited to continue this journey as I am.
Feel free to leave me your thoughts in the review/comment section down below. I will also respond quite quickly to any private messages sent (even if I don't update, I tend to sign in and check on my account at least once a day).
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Let me know you read my work and let's be friends! The more internet friends, the merrier. Let's cry about Newtton and Thomton together.
Also let me know who you're rooting. Team Thomton? Newtton? Our ever-favorite Team So Confused? Let me know!
Again, thank you all for all of the love. Just for you guys, I'm going to be pushing out a few snippers for The Nostalgia That Haunts Us to feed you guys until I can get chapter 10 out.
Hang in there guys, it's only going to get crazier from here.
-Stasi
PREVIOUS CHAPTER REPLIES
SigneG- Thanks! Hope you enjoy this one too.
Hannah Havana- Good, I'm glad. Me either
Radposey- Hopefully you come back for this next chapter! Get ready, you're in for a treat!
Cassie-011- I feel the same way, can't help but love both guys!
TillyPan- Hey girl! Enjoy, this one's a good one!
Missbrittanyka- M is on the way! Sorry I couldn't get this out sooner.
FanficForMe- I haven't watched The 100 YET, but I definitely plan to! I'm currently on season 2 of 3% on Netflix. It's awesome. And no problem, you'll love this one! Normally I try to bang out an entire chapter in one night, with editing and get it posted around 4 or 5 AM. I don't like to stop in the middle of a thought or scene because I could lose my train of thought (which is exactly what happened for this chapter). Uglies #4 was definitely tougher than the first three.
Tazzy- Thank you so much for all of the love! It means tons. I hope you find your way back once more!
Justyourfriendlyneighbor- Sorry for the triggers! Some things can't be helped. Your message really meant a lot. Sometimes I struggle with reading my own writing because of how harsh I am with myself and my writing. I'll definitely have to check out your story! And please, never feel intimidated by my writing. Your story will be (or already is if posted) unique and it's own, amazing story. Any M scenes will be noted for people who are uncomfortable with things like that. Also, MUCH love for all of the Sutton love, It means so much!
l0velylexx- Wow, thanks so much for the Sutton love! I always want to make sure they're far from perfect and, hopefully, relatable.
Guest1- Here's the next part!
ThinkingClouds- Thanks so much for the love! I hope you can find your way back to this adventure we're on together. I plan to try and get more writing done, as I have a set ending in mind. I've actually had it planned before I even started writing anything. A scene for Death Cure came to me one day and inspired this whole crazy story. But wow, Newtton is the best Maze Runner ship? Wow. Thank you, SO much. And sorry for the gut punch! Be patient, girl. Hope to see you back for this next part(:
Princess Of The Evil Inside- I'm definitely mulling the idea of writing my own series over. Making my own world intrigues me so much. I'll keep everyone updated! Thank you so much for all of the love, your kind words mean everything.
Guest2/3? - LOVE YOU MORE
unknown5566- Oh no, no rotting please! Sorry I haven't updated sooner. Trust me, it's been killing me not being able to continue this.
Eduarda R. Evangelista- Here you go!
holly2605- Definitely more of both Minho/Sutton and Brenda/Sutton! I love being able to explore those side relationships.
Justana97- Wow, you're favorite story? It's probably been replaced by now, but thank you so much! It means so much. Thanks for the NTHU love as well. It's such a fun detour when I want to write something short and sweet! I recently bought TDC on blue ray just to experience the heart break over and over again. It never gets easier. Unfortunately there has to be some Newt drama, but I'll try not to hurt you too much!
Guest3/4?- Here you go!
MeteoriAsteria- Woah, you were converted from Newt to Thomas! My job is complete. I love messing with everyone when it comes to Sutton and the guys. Never give up on me, I'll always come back no matter how long it takes!
Guest4/5?- It's not over yet! Far from it.
Guest5/6?- Thanks for the love! Enjoy.
MeteoriAsteria(2)- Thanks for checking in. It means a lot!
Major Potterhead 916- ;D
Song: Sweet Surrender Artist: Against The Current Album: Past Lives (2018)
