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Harry James Potter
Apprentice Wizard

11th August 1988

I have just started learning magic but I think I am doing quite well. Today I brewed an Oraculus potion all by myself and it came out all thick and gold, just like it's supposed to. It's not a very powerful potion but it is quite difficult to make and a lot of fun to use. When you drink it your eyes start to change colour depending on your mood and Albus and I spent a lot of time trying to make each other laugh so we could watch our eyes turn yellow. The only problem was that we were having such a good time that we never got to see our eyes turn any other colours. Towards the end of the day Albus's eyes started to change from orange to blue, but I couldn't tell if that was because he was actually feeling sad or if it was just the potion wearing off.

13th August 1988

I'm trying to keep notes about everything I'm studying but I also want to write about how I'm feeling too because I've been so happy lately. I wake up every morning with a big, fat smile on my face and can't wait to get up and start the day. I never want to forget how wonderful it felt to find out that I was a wizard. I think it was a little like falling in love because it made me feel safe and special and like everything was going to be good from now on and forever and ever and ever.

14th August 1988

Today I found a new flower growing in the woods. I think it might be a Ghost Orchid, although they're supposed to be extinct. We have a lot of unusual plants growing in our woods. I think this is because there is so much magic around although not all the plants have magical properties.

I took a cutting from the flower so that I could add it to my book of plants. I had to use my gloves, just in case it was poisonous, but it turns out it's completely harmless. Albus was able to tell just from looking at it and then we found its entry in the encyclopaedia.

It's quite an interesting plant because it spends most of its time underground and only flowers once every ten years or so. I think I am a little like a Ghost Orchid because I am hidden away at the moment and no one knows I'm here, but when I turn eleven I'll be out in the world with everyone else. It's a little scary, but so exciting!

19th August 1988

I'm getting really good at flying now. I practice for hours every day and I can do lots of tricky manoeuvres. Albus enchanted some tennis balls to go flying through the woods so I could chase after them but they were so slow and stupid that it was easy to catch them.

I've asked Albus if he can get hold of a real snitch for me, but he says it would be too dangerous. According to 'Quidditch for Beginners,' they can fly really fast, up to eighty miles per hour, but what really makes them difficult to catch is how they twist and loop around and change direction suddenly.

I can't wait to start playing Quidditch. It's probably the thing I'm looking forward to most about going away to school. It will be great to be part of a team and play together. I've never done that before and I know I'm going to love it.

21st August 1988

Today I met up with First-Born again, for the first time since my birthday. She wasn't surprised to hear that I was a wizard, even though she's never met one before. She knows that normal people can't talk to snakes and so understood right away that I was special.

I think that snakes are especially attuned to magic. They're listed as one of the ten creatures most useful to magicians in 'Basic Principles of Magic,' but I don't know if that's because they can actually assist with spells or just because that their venom is useful in potion-making.

I brought First-Born a dead mouse to eat, as a special treat, because we got quite a lot in for potions ingredients, but there aren't that many simple potions that need them. I was secretly a little glad about this because I don't like skinning them or cutting them up. It's really disgusting.

I wanted to draw a picture of First-Born to add my observations notebook but I'm not that good at drawing animals so First-Born lay down on the page and let me draw around her instead. That meant I got the shape just right. I also measured her and found out she is now twenty inches long.

First-Born enjoyed the mouse and was happy to hear that she had grown. She told me snakes don't get together to celebrate birthdays but she was glad I had a good one. I told her I would celebrate her birthday with her if she liked but she had no idea what day it was on.

25th August 1988

I think even Albus is surprised by how much I'm reading at the moment. He doesn't complain, of course. He promised me that he'd order me as many books as I want, but there's pretty much one arriving every day now and he's stared to look worried.

Maybe he thinks I'm not clever enough to understand some of the magic I'm reading about or maybe he thinks I'll end up reading something that will upset me. I'm not quite sure, but there's definitely something up.

Today he gave me one of his crinkly-eyed anxious looks and said something like, 'You know there are some dangerous things in the magical world too, don't you?'

'I know,' I told him. 'There's giants and dragons and trolls and ogres, but none of them live anywhere near here.'

Albus started to say something else but then he changed his mind. That happens a lot. It's like there's always lots of thoughts buzzing around in his head and sometimes they make it out and sometimes they don't.

26th August 1988

Albus started talking to me about dark magic today. He told me that there are some types of spells which are very dangerous and can hurt people. I already knew this though because dark magic is mentioned in a lot of the books I've been reading, although they don't go into a lot of detail.

I had the feeling that Albus wanted to talk to me about something more complicated but he wasn't sure how to do it. Perhaps he was waiting for me to ask the right questions. I'll try harder next time.

2nd September 1988

I feel so stupid. I don't want to write about my feelings anymore. I can't even bear to look at what I've already written. I thought I would want to read about my life over again and again, just to remind myself of how good it was, but now I just want to tear all these pages out.

I don't even understand how I could have missed it, how I could have blocked that one thing from my mind. Albus didn't bring it up, of course, but he's been watching me all this time and waiting for me to put the pieces together, but I didn't because I'm so stupid.

I felt so proud on my birthday too. Like I'd got it all worked out. I thought that I was really going to live happily ever after. As if life could be like some fairytale just because magic was real and that's stupid to start with because even fairytales have terrible, scary things in them.

If only I'd thought about it for five minutes I would have realised that Voldemort was a wizard too. I didn't even think about him though. I forgot all about him. I didn't think about my parents' death at all. I only thought about what they were like at school and how I was going to be just like them.

It's so unfair. I know it was stupid and didn't make sense but for little while I really believed I was going to live a perfect life. I was completely and utterly happy and I know I'll never ever ever feel that way again.