Thanks for the idea NiamhMcGrady-fanpage :)
Chapter Nine - Joke Awards Part Two
During the break, Jonny decided to take a break just outside of the pub to ring his partner to see how she was getting on.
"Not checking up on me, are you?" Jac asked immediately after picking up the phone.
"That depends on what you're doing at this very moment." Jonny replied bluntly.
"Remember last week when Tara suggested we create a new protocol regarding geriatric patients and I shot her down?"
"Yes." Jonny replied confusedly.
"Well Elliot's making me consider it so I'm filling out a load of paper work about it." Jac grumbled.
"Sounds fun." Jonny replied sarcastically. "How's Emma?"
"Asleep. For now."
"I won't slam the door when I get home then." He said but he then heard her yawn in the background. "By the sounds of it, Emma won't be the only one asleep when I get home. You should go to bed. You're useless when you're tired."
"Gee thanks."
"You know what I mean. Oh, by the way you've won a couple of awards."
"What for?"
"I think I'd better tell you when I get home."
"They're rude ones aren't they?" Jac concluded. "On second thoughts, I don't want to know what they're for." Jac stated.
"Now we're moving on to the 'best...' awards." Harry announced. "Mo, do you want to present a couple?"
"Sure." Mo nodded before she got up, walked to the table and took the next envelope out of the box. "Right, this award is for the best hair." Mo announced.
"Oh you lot are in trouble if I don't win this." Dom threatened playfully.
"I'm afraid not Dom, the winner is… Jesse." Mo declared with a grin.
"Are you kidding me?" Jesse smirked.
"He has no hair!" Dom protested.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist. Remember this is supposed to be a fun event." Zosia said in a patronising tone.
"And finally, we have the most sexy accent. But I can't present this award because if any of you have got some common sense you'd know that my accent tops everyone else's and I can't present an award to myself." Mary-Claire stated before she handed the envelope to Harry.
"What makes you think I won't get it?" Harry protested.
"Because English accents sucks." She replied bluntly.
"Sorry to disappoint you Mary-Claire but Scottish accents are actually the sexiest." Jonny declared.
"Says who?" Mo frowned.
"Says Jac."
"Like she'd ever actually say that to you." Ollie smirked.
"Oh you have no idea what kinds of things she says when we're alone." Jonny grinned.
"Maconie, you're disgusting." Mo grimaced.
"And besides, you're not the only Scot here." Raf added.
"Well, I'm afraid none of you that've spoken up is the winner." Harry stated. "The winner for the sexiest accent is... Cara Martinez."
"Are you kidding me?" She smirked.
"Hey, how come Cara gets it? We're both Irish." Mary-Claire moaned.
"If it helps, she only won by one vote." Harry stated.
"Who came second?" Cara asked curiously as she received her certificate.
"Jonny Maconie."
"This awards ceremony is rigged." Mary-Claire huffed as she sunk further into her seat.
"I can't believe people think my accent is sexy. It's probably just a joke." Cara shrugged as she sat down in the booth next to Raf with several other members of AAU but not Harry and Mary-Claire as they were at the front.
"Nonsense. I voted for your voice because I think it's the best one - aside from my own of course. Plus it is the best voice to break bad news to someone on the ward." Raf stated and he then noticed the nurse's cheeks flush red.
"You voted for me?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "Only because I couldn't vote for myself though." He added jokily.
"Will you two stop pussyfooting about and just get together already?" Fletch laughed.
"He has got a point." Serena stated.
"I'm just gonna pop to the loo." Cara stated and before Raf could stop her, she'd disappeared.
"Thanks for that mate." Raf sighed.
"What? You just need to man up and ask her out."
"Whilst she's in the middle of getting a divorce?" Raf protested.
"Now, the last two in this category are the most important awards of tonight: the best looking female and male." Mary-Claire declared. "Would anyone like to do the honours?" She asked as she held up two envelopes.
"I'll do it." Colette nodded. Once she had the envelopes in her hands, she decided the ladies would go first. "The best looking female is… it's a tie between Jac and Zosia. They received an equal number of votes." Colette stated and Jonny couldn't help but smile. Once told he knew Jac would roll her eyes or think they were taking the mick but he knew inside it would make her at least a little bit happy. Zosia on the other hand couldn't help but blush.
"If I don't win best looking male, this entire awards night is a sham." Dom declared.
"Well, let's have a look." Colette opened the second envelope and she couldn't help but laugh a little at the result. "The best looking male is Dom Copeland–"
"Yeeeesssss!" Dom jumped up and punched his fist into the air but once he realised everyone was staring at him, he regained his composure.
"I bet he wins the biggest drama queen award too." Zosia whispered to Arthur.
"Well I voted for him so fingers crossed." Arthur replied.
"This next award is something that I know I have no chance of winning so I've got no problem with presenting it: Best singer." Raf announced as he carefully opened the sealed envelope. "Although, I am proud to say that it's going to another Scotsman. Congratulations Jonny." He grinned.
"Most of you have never even heard me sing." Jonny protested.
"We all heard about your rendition of 'I dreamed a dream' on Darwin Maconie." Michael declared.
"Plus we've never really heard anyone sing properly except for Mo and Mr T on the karaoke and they were awful so–" Ollie began before being interrupted by Mo herself.
"Oi! Watch your mouth Valentine. Say one more word and I'll get Jac to put you on nursing duties for a week." Mo threatened.
"Jac can't do that." Ollie protested.
"You'd think she can't but believe me, she has her ways." Elliot said wisely.
"Now, this award is for the best dressed person." Sacha stated.
"Oh wait no, you can't present this award." Harry stated as he grabbed the envelope off of the general surgeon.
"Why not?" He frowned.
"Mary-Claire. Care to do this one?" Harry asked though he didn't really give her a choice as he handed the envelope to her and then forced her up to the front.
"Sure. It's not like I was comfortable there or anything." She remarked.
"Who did you vote for?" Zosia whispered.
"I voted for the person who I think deserves this award the most." Dom replied.
"You voted for yourself didn't you?"
"Maybe."
"Okay, the best dressed person is…" Mary-Claire begun.
"Come on, we've had enough dramatic pauses tonight." Cara complained.
"The winner is Sacha!" She announced.
"You've got to be joking me!" Dom laughed.
"I don't believe it." Sacha laughed. "This has got to be some kind of wind up."
"You can look for yourself." Mary-Claire stated as she showed Sacha the envelope.
"Well, what do you know? Ma Levy does have a sense of fashion."
"Sacha you don't admit that your mum buys your clothes in public." Dom groaned.
"Where else is she going to buy them?" Zosia quipped. "Online?"
"Oh haha. Very funny."
"This is the last award in this category before we take a short break and the award I've been asked to present is the best dancer." Arthur said unenthusiastically. "The winner is Mary-Claire."
"Oh, way to pause for dramatic effect Arthur." Dom complained.
"Oh. My. God! Thank you." Mary-Claire grinned as she jumped up to receive her award. Without even waiting for Arthur to get her one, she grabbed a plastic gold medal from the box and put it around her neck.
"You do realise that, like the best singing award, you only won because you're the only one we've seen dance right?" Harry smirked. "And we all know that's because you went a little too far with the red wine."
"I did not go too far." Mary-Claire protested. "Besides, I seem to remember you waking up with a headache the next morning too so it wasn't just me."
"But–"
"Children, can we settle down please?" Serena requested.
"Sorry Ms Campbell." They apologised simultaneously like naughty school kids.
Coming Up: The Joke Awards Part Three - the final chapter!
