A/N: I can't thank everyone enough for favs, follows and reviews. I appreciate every single one. I really do love the story I'm telling, it's something I've been working on since the summer hiatus and finally found the courage to improve and post it, and I can't tell you how glad I am that it's been so well received. Thank you!

I quoted 'The Little White Bird' by J.M Barrie and I wanted to be sure I explained how much I don't own it, but really appreciate it anyhow. I also Do not own nor am affiliated with OUAT. I am however living through these 28 days on a flippin' prayer because God, do I need my CS back in my life!

Thanks again for reading!

Chapter 7: To Have Faith is to Have Wings

"Mommy, you're just gonna hate me, I know it…"

"Are you insane?" Emma whispered softly before pulling Lily to a nearby bench and setting her down. "Baby there is nothing you can do to make me hate you."

Emma watched Lily shiver like a scared lap dog and racked her brain for any possible reason she would be this afraid of her. All the crappy parenting decisions she's made since meeting her quickly surfaced There's a number of reasons Lily wouldn't think Emma would be understanding, that she would assume her love is conditional. That's the last thing Emma wants.

"Is this about me yelling at you over using your magic?" Emma asked timidly, afraid Lily would nod and tear into her about how terrible this version of her is and how much she'd rather be with her real mom.

"No, I understand that." Lily answered hesitantly, keeping her eyes on the wet pavement before them. Only in Storybrooke do the streets always glisten at night.

"Then what is it?" Emma persisted. "Is it still Neal, because Killian meant what he said, I did too, that's just how things are Lily, I promise you don't have to feel obligated to save anyone, you're a child and fate works the way it wants."

"You don't believe in fate." Lily mumbled to the crisp cool air in front of them.

She's right. Emma Swan did not believe in fate. She couldn't believe things were just supposed to happen. She refused to believe that there were higher powers that had their lives all planned out from the beginning of time.

She believed in actions, cause and effect. She believed that a butterfly flapping it's wings would cause a tidal wave around the world, easily before she could ever allow herself to believe in fate.

Until a child with dark hair and green eyes appeared displaying magic provided by the love her parents shared. It's kind of hard to argue with 'True Love' when the proof is burning holes in your heart every time she cries.

Now she believes there has to be something more to it than sheer coincidence if a pirate born four lifetimes ago can appear in your own life and steal your breath every other moment he's around. Still no John Cusack movie about serendipitous happenings is going to make her stop fighting to protect her heart, she has decided, however, to stop fighting fate and allow things to happen.

"I do now." Emma replied. "I believe that something out of my reach guided you from heaven down to my life. I believe that you're a blessing I don't deserve and it's not karma points that sent you to me, it's fate."

"Would you still believe that if you knew that my dad is going to die because of me?" Lily huffed violently. "Would you still call this little girl who can't get her crap together a blessing?"

"What?" Emma wrapped her arms around Lily, pulling her into her lap and guiding her eyes to meet her own. "Please talk to me. Lily, please." Emma pleaded.

"He loves you so much, and you're just as crazy about him." Lily tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, moving her eyes across Emma's face. "And I've only thought about how terrible for me it will be to lose him. Not once did I think about how absolutely devastated you'll be."

"Yes, I'll be devastated." Emma confessed, wanting to appear as vulnerable as she could to prove to Lily that it was okay for her to be too. "So talk to me about it, Lily, tell me what's going on and I'll stop it, Lily."

"Do you think you're strong enough to stop the devil himself? " Lily's thumb grazed Emma's cheek, sliding down her jawline and pausing at her dimpled chin. "Do you think I am?"

"Gold?" Emma knew, there's only one devil in this town and it's that man, no matter how much he sacrifices, he'll always be the snake who created the dark curse to begin with.

"He teaches me. Taught me, I'm as sure as my name is Lillian Jones, I will never attend another lesson with him." Lily vowed. "I don't know if I can retell this story again. I just stopped crying a moment ago."

She wasn't sure how to react. Emma wanted to just pull it out of her, needed to know what Gold did to her and how to stop it. Her nerves were prickling at her cold, damp flesh. She was burning on empty after the events of Today and she's trying, really trying but if Lily doesn't spill soon, Emma might lose it.

"Baby, please. You can give me the shorthand and if I get confused, I'll ask questions okay?" Lily pondered for a moment before nodding.

"Shorthand, let's see." Lily sucked in a large breath before beginning. "Gold guilted me into traveling back here to save Neal because Henry apparently came to him in tears begging for it and he knew i'd do anything for my brother, so I agreed, then the night before he forces his power of foresight into my hands, he gives me a special wand, one that can recreate any magic done to or by the wielder. It was used on both my parents before, so it allowed me to and here I am. Terrified because I failed, and he promised me after I refused to go at the last moment that he'd kill my dad if I didn't save Henry's." Lily let out a breath, chest heaving as she rubbed her hands down Emma's face, softly, eyes tearful and wide.

"Lily?"

"Mom, I should have known better, I know better now, I do. Don't put your faith in a man who's done so much damage to your lineage. A man who built a curse to get to his son centuries later does not have your brother's best interest in mind. I know that. I promise." Emma was surprised at how well Lily held herself together. She knows her daughter is eight and dramatic but right now she seems so calm and gentle, despite the glisten in her eyes, her lips don't tremble and her body stopped shaking minutes ago.

Emma on the other hand had wars raging between her ribs. Her heart was fragmenting just so the fragments could break because there was so damn much to be heartbroken over. Lily's innocent little world has been pillaged and burned. She sees death whenever she closes her eyes and not even the idea of going home eases her. Killian is sentenced to death because Gold's guilt decided to flare once more and couldn't allow his son to die a hero, but instead live under the parental eye of a coward. She couldn't think about what life would be like without Killian. She wouldn't allow any of her heart to feel that for a second.

Then there's the idea that Henry is miserable nine years later. So miserable he would request the help of his sinister grandfather. Emma's conversation with him that afternoon made her feel like he would be more than happy to have Killian, and she can't go off what Gold told Lily to get her to do his bidding. Yet, there's that still small voice that whispers 'he's not my real dad.' That doesn't hurt her nearly as much as the grim look she can visualize on Killian's face hearing this.

Because he has to hear about this.

She knows it will break him. She's not prepared to see the storm whirl in his eyes or hear the hoarse sob he'll try desperately to swallow for her sake. She doesn't want this to keep him up at night, to shatter his dreams. Not the way it's shattered hers. She's finally allowed herself to believe this will all work out for the best, that they'll finally find a family within each other, one they can't lose if they wanted to because fate wants them together.

Now she knows fate only wants to hurt her.

"Mama?" Lily whispered, pressing her forehead against Emma's. "Say something. Your eyes are just darting about and your mouth keeps opening but nothing comes out." Emma hadn't recognized how the seconds stretched on since she last spoke.

"I'm so sorry Lily." Emma breathed. Lily lifted her head to stare directly into Emma's watering eyes.

"It's my fault, not yours." She denied, appearing baffled by the statement.

"No, it's our fault as parents. We trusted him, God only nows how Killian trusted him, but he did and I did and now you're here because you trusted him too." Emma whimpered, taking her turn now to stroke Lily's full cheeks, strong family jawline and dark, loosely braided hair.

"Dad never trusted him." Lily pulled out of Emma's embrace, reclaiming the seat beside her once more. "You barely did, but Regina convinced you that you didn't need to trust him, you needed to have him teach me and that was all. She said 'trust your daughter, she's got her father's head on her shoulders.'" Lily frowned. "That lady never leaves a cheap shot on the table, I'll tell you, but she wrongfully believed that my instincts wouldn't allow me to be tricked."

"I will listen to every word out of your mouth, but you have got to stop beating yourself up." Emma expressed desperately. "Lily you are not a failure and every time you say it, you make me want to just… just…" Cry. Emma couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears traveled down her cheeks for the third time Today.

"Mama, I'm sorry." Lily wrapped her arms tightly around Emma's waist, burying her face in her wool coat. "Please don't cry anymore"

"No more badmouthing yourself, you hear me, I can't listen to you tear yourself apart Lily. Please."

"Okay," Lily mumbled into the material. "Just no more tears."

"I'm trying." Emma sighed, pulling out the last bit of strength she had. The breeze now picking up helped to dry her tears, but chill her bones in the process. It wasn't until she looked down at her daughter burrowing deeper in her embrace she realized Lily was jacket-less in this cold night air. Emma released her to take off her jacket when Lily stalled her hands.

"If you allow me, Mom, I can magic my own." Emma was sure this kid would have had it with magic after everything but there she was, ready and willing to embrace everything Emma would love to just leave behind.

Before Lily. She would have loved to leave it all behind before Lily, but now she knows she never will.

"Sure." Emma sighed, not really willing to draw Zelena's creepy collector attention but fearful of what it will do to her if she denies her anything. She watched as Lily waved her confident hand across her torso, a white light engulfing but quickly faded to reveal a black princess coat with big, silver, anchor-etched buttons. "Do you use your magic openly in the future?" Emma asked, hinted with concern.

"No." Lily let out a humorless laugh. "Gold always says 'All magic comes with a price, Dearie." She mocked in his accent before making eye contact with Emma. "I asked him one day, what's the price, I'm eight and don't really have a savings going on. He smiled, creepily and said 'Having a normal life.'"

That was the truest statement ever made in Emma's presence. There was no such thing as normal if you're a magical being. Lily hadn't known the difference but Emma had. She had a normal life in New York. Sure, her boyfriend was a flying monkey from Oz, but everything else was extremely normal. Lily would grow up believing her life was normal, when it wasn't.

"So I said to him 'who wants to be ordinary?' and he stayed silent for a moment and I knew he was thinking of Neal." Lily shook her head. "He told me that some people would rather live in a world without magic, then live a life constantly disturbed by evil vs good mumbo jumbo. Sometimes, I think you and he and Henry would have been happy together, away from this world. Sometimes I would sit and think, what if I could save you from the sacrifice, give you what you really wanted, that normal life?" Lily looked down at her legs, inhaling deeply before finishing. "Then I had a chance to and I failed. That's something I'll have to live with. That's what magic does to you, it makes you think you're strong enough, powerful enough, then laughs in your face when it doesn't work how you think it ought to. That's the price of magic."

Emma was done battling over Lily's desperate need to self-loath. She could beg her to stop, or she could show her there's no reason to do it at all.

"I don't believe Gold one moment when he says all magic comes with a price." Emma stretched her arm back around Lily, pulling her back into the safety of her embrace. "You see, I think of when I used magic those few times last year, it was all white and I hadn't paid for a thing. I saved your dad in the Echo Cave. No price. I deflected Cora's attempt at stealing my heart, no price. I woke Henry with true love's kiss, no price. I think dark magic comes with a price, something you have to sacrifice, but good magic? All I have had to deal with was realizing just how much love I have for the people I saved."

"You included my dad in there." Lily bit her bottom lip to cover the obvious excitement plumping her cheeks. "He's someone you love."

"You missed the point, kid." Emma rolled her eyes, playfully. "Will you pick up on this philosophical development I'm giving you?. You are all white magic and love. You'll never pay a price for any of the good you do. The universe owes you, Baby girl. And I owe the universe for you."

"I love you." Lily pressed her palm to Emma's heart, watching her fingers splay out over it. "I'll be honest, I don't feel okay, but I feel safe with you on my side." Lily blinked rapidly before gazing up to study Emma's face. "You're brilliant Mom. You're beautiful and smart and brilliant. I trust the good in you."

"And I trust the good in you, Lily. I love you and I trust the good in you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had been sitting in Emma's room at the Inn for about an hour waiting on Killian and Henry to come home. Lily had fallen asleep on Emma's bed, Emma mindlessly running her fingers through Lily's loose waves as she reread one of the books. Henry really did take an interest in all things Peter Pan. He even borrowed The Little White Bird. One line in particular stuck out to Emma. One line that made things fall into perspective.

"The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings."

"To have faith is to have wings" Emma read aloud to herself.

It's no coincidence that her mother, the ambassador of hope, can speak to birds. She read poems in Sophomore English before high school got in the way of her thieving lifestyle. "Hope" is the thing with feathers. How many people can be wrong? Maybe she'd be happier if she gave herself that chance. Maybe she'd be better off believing in something, maybe it'd help her believe in herself.

Before she had anymore time to ponder, there was a knock at the door. Finally.

Emma closed the book, setting it on the middle end table before gently sliding out of bed, trying her hardest not to wake the sleeping princess beside her. She reached the door in seconds, eager to see Henry after the long day and anxious to speak with Killian over what the day contained.

"Mom?" Henry wrapped his arms around her torso, nearly barreling through her as she stumbled back from the impact. "It's good to see you. We had so much fun." He released her, revealing some knotted rope in his hand. "Killian says we could go on the boat again sometime."

"Anytime." Killian added softly.

"You should come. You and Lily." Henry grinned brighter than he had since his father's passing.

"Speaking of Lily, she's asleep so shhh, alright?" Emma whispered with a finger pressed to her lips. Henry nodded in understanding, turning to hug Killian in thanks before moving into the room.

There was a moment of silence and stares. She studied his face for any indication that he was already disturbed and didn't need more in his life right now. Any sign providing her with an adequate reason not to talk about Lily's confession Tonight.

She could tell he was staring for similar reasons. She quickly closed the door behind Henry and returned to him, ready to spill when he spoke first.

"How did the queen fare against the witch?" Between picking up Lily and finding out everything, she forgot she called him and begged him to stay away because of that damn witch fight.

"She survived, but the rest is definitely more than a doorway conversation." Emma sighed. "I actually need to have a different non-doorway conversation with you."

"What of?"

"Our daughter." Emma sighed uneasily.

"You wish to keep her again, that's perfectly fine Swan, you don't have to—"

"Listen." Emma interrupted. "I'm going to tell Henry I'm walking you back to your room, we need to talk and if I don't tonight, I'll lose my nerve and someone like Belle will step in and tell you before I get a chance."

"Should I say goodnight to her?" He asked warily.

"She's already asleep." Emma frowned apologetically. Watching the disappointment flash through his features, she wasn't quite sure how he'd react to finding out the real reason she came to the past if he's this distraught over a missed 'goodnight.' "Why don't you kiss her anyway? She'll feel it in her subconscious or whatever, maybe soothe her dreams. C'mon."

She opened the door, leading him in quietly to find Henry brushing the hair from Lily's face as she slept soundly. "How was she? Is she doing better?" He whispered, but the concern still detectable.

"She's a really tough kid." Emma evaded. "I'm gonna walk Killian back to his room, alright? I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Alright." Henry rose from his knees and walked over to the chair on the opposite side of his bed, removing his scarf and coat. "I'll stay on nightmare watch until you get back."

"That's very admirable of you." Killian encouraged as he moved across the room to Lily's side. He left a gentle kiss to her temple, whispering words of love and promise before rising. For whatever reason he wasn't willing to linger like he usually did when it came to her. Maybe he sensed the turmoil beneath Emma's surface. "Alright, goodnight Henry." he spoke as he moved back toward the door where Emma had been waiting for him.

"Night, Killian." Henry chirped, sitting on the bed and removing his shoes.

Emma allowed him to move past her before shutting the door behind them, sparing a final glance to her son. There were only about 15 steps between her room and Killian's, so she sealed her lips careful not to spill any secrets until he was in the safety of his own environment.

He had other ideas in mind.

"There's more Bae in him than you realize." Killian mumbled, swiping his thumb across his lip as he stared downward. The hardwood was not that dated to acquire such a tense reaction.

"Yeah?" Emma sighed, not really wanting to talk about Neal with Killian right now. She could think of a million ways this could play against him once the Lily-cat is out of the bag.

"The boy needs to know of his father, I know you had plans on taking him back to New York, Emma but you can't steal him away until he kno—"

"I'm not taking him anywhere. He would fight me tooth and nail at this point." Emma ran a hand through her knotted hair. "Do you not realize how attached he is to Lily?"

"Did you tell him of her visions?" Killian's eyes met hers as they turned the corner. She almost hit the sharp edge of the wall, the way her thoughts cleared at a glimpse of fear. "I mean, we didn't talk much about Lily or you. I wasn't sure if you or she expressed them to him."

"In a way, we both did. She confessed to seeing Neal die in her dreams, and I confirmed that they were premonitions." Emma stopped abruptly, turning to face him dead on. "You studied Gold a lot in the centuries you were planning on killing him, right?"

He didn't answer immediately. He spent a moment studying her with a wariness before nodding hesitantly.

"How does his vision work? I mean, he knew that I was going to be born and break the curse that led him to Neal. Do they blow out his mind too, or what?"

"Too?" Killian jutted the word from between his teeth. The 't' sound echoed on for a moment, a quiet warning of the outburst to follow. "You mean to tell me their foresight is linked? You mean to tell me that they are…what?"

"We're inches away from your room." Emma motioned to keep walking but the reluctancy he followed her with was not what she needed to keep her nerve. If that small irritation were any indication of what was to come when they got behind this door, Emma would much rather Belle tell him.

She had all of two seconds to close the door behind them when he stepped into her space, hitching her breath and clouding her thoughts.

"Well, take your jacket off, relax a bit." Emma huffed out breathlessly. Naturally, more reluctancy followed but he managed to do as she asked without any argument. She moved to sit on his bed, fumbling with the dirt beneath her nails before he joined her. The weight beside her felt natural, but his unsteady breaths and darting eyes was anything but.

"How are they affiliated?" He revisited, calmer than in the hall.

"Lily gave me the shorthand, but basically he teaches her magic in the future." Emma answered with a practiced confidence she didn't actually possess. "Here's the thing, I still can't grasp how anyone could persuade you to let her, but you did."

"You could persuade me, she could even easier. I'd do whatever you wished. You know that." He answered timidly, almost ashamed at how much he easily bent for her.

"Right."

"So, he shared the gift?"

"Shared… not so much, forced is more accurate."

"FORCED!" He jumped from the bed, ready to pace like a madman, or worse actually go after him. She quickly stretched to pull him back down to her.

"It's a longer story than that and I need you here to hear it." Emma decided then that she'd allow herself to give into any urge she had if it would comfort him. So when her fingers itched to stroke his scruffy jaw, she didn't battle herself one bit. Her palm soothed him notably, his chest heaved still, but his breath was not nearly as labored as before.

"I'm trying." He whispered into the quickly diminishing space between them.

"Killian, he made her come here."

"Bae." Apparently he's much quicker on the draw than she, the sound of his voice wasn't shock but confirmation. It's as if he knew it all along.

"Yeah. She came back to save him and now that she hasn't, now that she did nothing wrong but still hasn't, she's afraid Gold will do as he promised."

"She thinks I'm going to die. A father for a father, right? That sick bastard." Killian's knuckles looked as if they'd burst at the seams. She could time his jaw clenches with her heartbeats and if she held her breath and only focused on his, the sound was similar to a dog's low growl. He was seething and rightfully so.

Still, she was going to be there for him. So she wrapped her fingers around his knuckles and pulled his hand to her lap, waiting for his fist to relax against her thigh. She pressed her forehead against his jawline, knowing he wouldn't allow his anger to compromise their interaction. Finally, the palm of her free hand scraped against the hair on his exposed chest, soothing his lungs as best she could.

"This is not your fault anymore than it is hers." Emma whispered against his shoulder. "This is all Gold's fault. Every part of it. He won't get away with any of it."

"He already has. She's tormented by this. The way she clung to me… I knew there was something troubling her but I thought less of it for…"

"For Henry." Emma finished for him. He wouldn't say anything to make Henry seem less to him.

"I needed Today with Henry more than he needed Today with me." Killian confessed so honestly she was caught off guard, raising her head to meet his gaze. "It was selfish of me, but the way I wish to remember Bae is not fighting with him in Neverland like children, but when he was a child on my ship, the ship I would have left to him if only he stayed."

"Killian—"

"I didn't have to say goodbye. He was present in the eagerness of Henry's eyes when I showed him the stars." And that's only reason #187 why Killian Jones will always be a better man than Rumplestilskin. Neal had been dead for nine years and instead of trying to connect with his grandson and find the same light in his eyes, he connected with their daughter and found the same loophole he found in Emma. "I'm sorry, love, I should have mentioned that to you before I took him out. I wasn't as admirable as you gave me credit for."

"You're unbelievable." Emma groaned, turning her eyes from his before she saw the panic. "You really think that what you did wasn't… Killian our sick need to self-loath get's passed down to our daughter. We need to stop making ourselves feel guilty. I can't beg Lily to stop hating herself when I haven't been on speaking terms with part of myself for years." She felt his hand twist and intertwine with her own, squeezing tightly before bringing her skin to his lips.

"I'd help open up lines of communication within you, if only you allow me." He already spoke to every part of her with the simple way his rough hand contrasted with the gentleness he held hers with.

"I think we should communicate a little more about what happened with Lily." She frowned, searching to find his too-blue eyes darkening with each heavy breath he took. It's been a few days since he flirted to avoid the heavy stuff. She forgot how good he was at evasion.

"What's to discuss? I allowed our daughter to dance with the devil himself for heaven only knows how long, and it came back to bite me in the arse. The death sentence is one I deserve. I put her at risk bringing her into a world where such demons resided. We should have moved to that cursed city where magic can't corrupt her."

"You think she's corrupted?"

"I think he's trying. What other purpose has he for a child so powerful? How? How could I?" His voice scraped against it's own vocal chords, like a violin with broken strings playing the saddest song she's ever heard.

"Well he can't have her." Emma replied sternly. "She's ours. And she's stronger now because of what he did. She knows things now. It's a terrible lesson to learn this young, but she knows better to trust anyone over what she feels in her own heart."

"Why did she not trust her heart over him?" Killian asked like he knew the answer, his shoulders tensing to prepare for it.

"Henry." Emma didn't want this part. She wanted to say something else for his sake. She wanted to tell him Belle or herself even. She knows how willing he is to be what Henry needs. He just told her how willing he is. He knows she knows, so she hopes he remembers in the moments that follow. "He told Lily that Henry begged him to." The words scatter out, hoping he heals a bit between each sound.

He doesn't.

"Emma you should go back to the room. It's been minutes, more than promised." He stands slowly, moving toward the Armoire. She wasn't afraid of a breakdown, she was afraid of the build-up. He expertly stacked bricks by the time he reaches the cabinet door, opening it to search for a friend he uses as cement. Emma reaches him before he unscrews the top of the flask, but she can't touch him without her skin buzzing and burning.

"Killian." She calls as if he really is all the miles away he feels to her right now. "Look at me, please." His jaw won't unclench long enough to fit the silver mouth between his lips. His chin trembles a bit, but he holds fast to his resolve. God would she just prefer the breakdown. He wouldn't be alone in this, she wouldn't be leaving him to his own devices.

She raised her hand out once more, inches from his shoulder when she swears she saw a spark.

Ask yourself: who am I trying to protect?

Her subconscious wants to save him from demons she can't reach. She wants to heal him and it shows in the way her hands buzz and glow.

"Emma?" He turned then. He must have seen what she saw. "Are you… is that your magic?"

"Heal me, like you did Lily." She whispered, wrapping her hands around his neck and tugging him down to her. He doesn't flinch so she assumes it doesn't hurt as he follows her lead, lips to lips they'll heal each other. His flask fell to the ground with a gentle clang and his arms wrapped around her tightly.

All emotions were present. The desperate need to feel something other than the constant angsty suffering, the hunger to have someone take away all of their thoughts, the eagerness to just get lost. Then all at once, as his tongue tapped against her bottom lip, she felt it all leave her. The guilt and fear she's held onto this past week soared from her mouth as she opened to let him in. His tongue scraping past her teeth, traveling along the curving lines of her own renewed her for the first time since… she can't currently remember how long it'd been since she felt her feet leave the ground, but this was flying.

"Swan!" He gasped, pulling away before she noticed. He slid his fingers through her hair, grasping at the nape of her neck, his other arm tightening more so around her waist. "Are you alright?"

Her mind had been so overrun with the numbing sensation kissing him provided, she didn't realize she was literally flying. Well, hovering. Her feet were about a yard from the ground, thankful for the high, beam-exposed ceilings of Granny's inn, she kept her head from smashing against anything. She glanced from the ground to meet Killian's wonder-filled eyes.

To have faith is to have wings

"Yeah." She answered breathlessly, allowing her magic to leave her long enough to set them down. "But I should go."

"Emma, you don't… you don't have to leave every time you kiss me. I won't expect anything more from you, I'll follow your lead, I'll—"

"Shh." She interrupted his rambling, releasing her grip on his neck and shoulder. "We'll talk tomorrow. Do me a favor, focus on the kiss and not the Lily thing." She let her fingers linger long enough to brush his cheek. "And don't beat yourself up. You're a wonderful father." She moved away as quickly as she could before his gaze brought her back to her point of indulgence. He caught her wrist before she made it too far from him.

"And you're a marvelous mother." Something she didn't realize she needed to hear this badly until she felt weights fall from her shoulders and spine. "Emma, you are a bloody marvel in all ways, but your mothering is incomparable."

"You… you believe that? After everything I did?" Searching his eyes for truth only he knows how to tell.

"After everything you did and all the things you're going to do." Killian voiced lowly. "It's evident in the way they love you." Meeting his focus head on, she realized they weren't the only ones evidently in love.

"Thank you." She spoke with shaking knees and a shaky voice to match. "I really do have to go. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

XXXXXXXX

She and Emma were out of the door before seven. She stopped off at the lone coffee shop in Storybrooke, avoiding Granny's completely. 'A Witch's Brew' was written on each to-go cup they arrived with when they reached the loft. Emma hadn't spoken much about her dad, but Lily had an inkling that he didn't take the news too well. She could only hope that was the last person she had to let in on her stupid secret.

The light shining through the old windows of the loft made everything seem brighter, cleaner, like a fresh new day. The last few days had seemed dim, Lily was hoping this was a sign that things were going to turn around.

Lily was an expert at reading the signs. Her father read the stars like a pro, but the signs were her domain. She could spot a spiritual clue a mile away, a change in the temperature, a formation the leaves made that left her with a lasting impression, and the way a person appears by the light, or lack thereof, surrounding them.

She took the white glow this room took on as a good sign, goodness was in the very air she was inhaling. This was a safe place and she could allow threatening thoughts to rest.

"Why didn't you go to Granny's you were already there?" Mary Margaret asked as she sat down in the arm chair, sipping the tea Emma brought her. Better for babies, right?

"We wanted to try something new." Emma explained plainly. "I personally needed something stronger than the 'regular' at Granny's and Lily was eager to chai tea latte it up." Lily nodded encouragingly.

"It's like pumpkin spice. Only it doesn't have to be thanksgiving. It can be Easter or the Fourth of July." Lily added as she sat on the arm of her grandmother's chair. "So, what's the plan, Stan? You guys are gonna build a crib and then we do some baby shopping?"

"Let's just see if they can build the crib first." Mary Margaret let out a mocking laugh.

At least twenty minutes had passed and they hadn't even identified which letters matched which parts. Mary Margaret was growing more and more displeased. Lily swung her jean-clad legs back and forth against the side of the arm chair while her grandmother focused her attentions on braiding her loose waves. A string of swears spilled from Emma's mouth after metal clanged a bit dramatically against the hardwood.

"We could just get Marco to do this." Mary Margaret sighed from behind the little girl. Lily nodded gently, not to disrupt what her grandmother was doing with her hair.

"I could use my magic." Lily sung. "A little wave and it will be constructed." Emma looked up with a stern look, raising a brow at the child.

"I thought we talked about that." Emma warned. Lily sighed and dropped her head. "We're doing this. We have to reserve some sort of normalcy." Before David could audibly agree, Regina came through the door, smacking her hands together in a finished motion.

"And Thanks to me." Regina voiced proudly. "We will. I've successfully finished a protection spell, one that can't be undone by blood magic." Her eyes drifted over to a smiling brunette sitting near a pregnant Snow White. "Lily, what are you wearing." She scoffed. "All those beautiful dresses and you pick that one boyish jacket?" Lily shook her head before dropping from the armchair. She walked slowly to Regina, arms folded before her chest.

"We've had this conversation." Lily pouted. "I wore two dresses this week. We're good."

"Regina, do you think the protection spell will hold?" David rose from the floor where too many parts and no progress lay. He moved toward the table, rubbing Lily's shoulder on the way with a wink. He successfully distracted Regina from yet another attack on Lily's wardrobe.

"Yes, Zelena won't be able to put her hands on that baby." Regina smirked proudly. Lily knew her aunt was best distracted by her own self-worth. Mary Margaret sighed, half-contented.

"Good, any idea why she would want to?" She asked lightly, not light enough to keep the light in the loft from dimming. Darker conversation was on the rise.

"The number of spells involving baby parts would surprise you." Lily's stomach churned at the idea of her future uncle missing a leg because some weirdo witch used it for a spell to stay youthful, or a curse to plague Storybrooke. A shiver ran down her spine as she leaned into David for comfort. "That Greenie's clearly one twisted witch. But as long as we're in here, we're safe." Regina finished on a high note, as if being refined to a small loft was reassuring.

"That's useless." Emma was definitely not reassured. "I think we need to stop playing defense and start taking the fight to her."

Lily keeps overheard pep-talks and rallying the troops in a special part of her mind. She would sneak out of bed at night to listen to her parents and grandparents inspire a crowd or deliberate plans of attack. She would fall asleep those nights dreaming of fighting evil and making a name for herself that wasn't constantly associated with being the savior's daughter.

"Did you not see how I barely outwitted her yesterday?" Regina's temper surfaced. "She has magic, powerful magic." Lily could feel her own magic surfacing just by bringing it up.

"I have magic." Emma's voice was less confident now, which happened a bit too often around Regina, even in the future, she has trouble combatting with the former Evil Queen. "You've seen me use it. I just can't always control it. But if we teamed up, if you taught me…"

"Why does this sound familiar." Regina laughed. Lily bit her bottom lip, wanting to intervene but knowing she shouldn't.

"I'm ready this time." Emma expressed with the upmost seriousness.

"Okay." Regina chuckled. "But if we do this, we do it my way. This isn't drinking stale coffee at a stakeout or whatever you did as a bail bonds person. This is a way of life, you have to fully commit to it." Regina lectured like she had Lily once a week for the past three years. It was always the same spiel. Lily you're special, but you have to be disciplined, you can't just snap your fingers because you have a craving for ice cream. Or Lily you honestly think an ogre is going to wait for you to get mad before he crushes your family? You have to pull strength from thin air, not distant memories of someone teasing you.

"Not a problem." Emma narrowed her eyes in irritation. Lily couldn't help but smile at how similar they were.

"Meet me at my vault in one hour." Regina fled from the loft without another word.

Lily allowed the adults a moment to stare at each other disapprovingly before she spoke. "Can I go?" Lily used her sweetest voice. She watched her mother stare intently at the tools in her hand, twirling and fidgeting but not answering a simple question. The second stretched and she was about to assume Emma never heard her until…

"Why don't you hang out with Henry and Hook?" Emma suggested, still not making eye contact. "They would be thrilled to take you sailing Today."

"I don't want to go sailing." Lily pouted.

"You always want to go sailing." Emma countered.

"No. I just started sailing a year ago because Dad misses Henry on the water with him. If he and Henry are hanging out Today, I'd rather not impose." Lily dismissed the conversation as quickly as she could.

"Lily?" Emma began with a deep exhale like she was exhausted dealing with her. "You're not impo—"

"I'll just go to the shop with Belle." She groaned defiantly, turning from Emma and sitting down at the kitchen table. She heard another clatter of tools but ignored it, too busy sulking over the idea of how much she'd rather not see her dad right after he found out about Gold. He'll just look at her with guilt and she's really over the 'guilt glare.'

"Fine." Emma stood quickly, walking toward the doorway without even acknowledging her parents, yet she's so quick to feel distraught by her children doing something half as cold. "Let's go."

"Say goodbye to your mom and dad." Lily scowled. "How hurt would you feel if I just did that to you?"

"About as hurt as I already am." Emma mumbled before turning to her parents. "Bye guys, see ya later."

"Bye Grandma and Grandpa, We love you!" Lily shouted happily for their sake before stalking out of the loft, Emma following behind.

They made it a block, only five minutes away from the shop before Emma turned to Lily, the first words spoken since the loft. "Why did you tell her first?" It caught her off guard, the fragile tone of her mother's voice. She stalled her steps and turned to Emma fully, offering anything she needed to not sound so small.

"What?"

"Belle, you told her about Gold first. You cried to her and then you tried to hide your tears from me. I don't get it." Emma searched Lily's face before swallowing painfully. "Am I not who you go to in the future? Am I not a good mom?"

"What are you talking about?" Lily whined against her better judgement. "I told her because she asked. She came in like a mouse while I was deep in stupid thought of how I messed up and she caught me vulnerable. She asked and I didn't want to lie."

"So if I had cared to ask you would have told me first, but I didn't care enough to realize you were upset?" Emma was becoming more irate as each word flew from her mouth, but all her anger was directed within.

"I thought we agreed to not self-loath." Lily countered. "I tried harder around you to not look as upset as I was. I tried to be brave for you."

"I'm your mom, why do you and Henry think that I of all people don't want to see you cry or be there for you when you do?" Lily was taken back by the hurt in Emma's voice. Lily thought she was doing her a favor not making her feel worse.

"We don't think that. We think that… well I'm not Henry but I'm pretty sure we both think that you only get upset. It's easy disappointing someone else, but seeing your feelings or mistakes hurt your mom is really hard." Lily frowned, rubbing her hand down Emma's arm. "Think about Grandma. You told everyone and their mother that you were an orphan. You told them it sucked and you hated it, but saying it in front of Grandma makes you hurt in parts of your stomach not even cocoa could soothe. You hate to see that look in her eyes. That guilt."

"Lily I don't care what look I get in my eyes, I want to help you more than I want to save myself the guilt. I would do anything for the both of you and you just won't let me. You'd rather Belle." It broke Lily's heart to hear how insecure her mother's been over Belle.

Somewhere between finding Neal and laying him to rest, she never expressed that Belle was a great godmother, but Emma was her only mother. Here Emma was thinking Lily would rather have Belle and that couldn't be furthest from the truth. Lily would rather not exist than exist in a world where Emma Swan-Jones wasn't her mother.

"Do you know why she's my godmother?" Lily continued with a new smile splaying over her face.

"No, you've failed to mention that one." Emma mumbled.

"Gold took my dad's heart on a night he was trying to save your life. A week went by and no one knew. It was the moment he was going to crush it, Belle stood up against the love of her life to save yours. She showed her strength by banishing him from town and although the banishment obviously didn't last, the quiet moments that you felt safest happened to include my conception." Lily wrapped her fingers around Emma's wrist, staring at her with her most loving, bright eyes. "Belle gave you the chance to have me, my dad took that chance as a sign. The goodness in Belle, the ability to forgive those who hurt you and appreciate those who love you is something he wanted me to learn more than anything. So he chose her. If risking your lives constantly left me parentless, I'd still learn compassion from her and the will to continue on through heartbreak. Things I already began learning from the two of you."

Emma smiled through the glaze transitioning over her eyes. She crouched before Lily, her hands traveling softly down the leather arms of Lily's jacket before taking her hands in her own. Even this sad smile had Emma easily claiming the spot of world's most beautiful mother. The apples of her cheeks grew as the dimples below them hollowed more. The twinkling emerald had a way of calming Lily, because these tears where that of a happier nature.

"Have I told you that I loved you lately?" Emma whispered gently.

"I'm always down for a reminder." Lily joked but it wasn't far from the truth. No words were more encouraging than an 'I love you' from one of her parents.

"I love you so much, if you ever, ever have a secret, you know that you can tell me, past, present or future, and I will listen and help."

"I know Mama." Lily sighed, the guilt of confiding in Belle first finally found her. "I don't want you to think that I don't. I just don't want to upset you."

"I should be upset, if you're in trouble, it's upsetting and if I'm not upset, I am not doing my job."

"You have so many jobs, Mom." Lily dramatically groaned.

"Being a mom is the more important one." Emma clarified.

"Even if you're not my mom yet?"

"I was born with mothering you and Henry in mind." Emma explained. "From the dawn of time, long before your dad even existed." Lily giggled, falling into Emma's embrace. "Destiny and all that jazz." she promised, rubbing Lily's back and kissing her temple.

XXXXXXXXXXX

She left the inn early for a reason. It was supposed to be a calm day to wind down from the last three. Things were complicated, she just wanted to avoid it, but she wasn't the only one. She stopped by Killian's with Lily earlier that morning, seeing if he wanted to kiss her in her waking moments, but he was already gone.

Tracking him down at the docks wasn't hard or anything, it was just strange he'd leave so early without letting her know. She knows they're not married yet and he doesn't owe her anything, but things were definitely different between them, and he owed his daughter a bit too.

"Wait here, okay?" He requested of her son as they approached Killian and a man who she thinks she remembers being Smee. Henry nods, still focusing on his phone and not so much his mother. She's not as interesting as the sea or smartphone.

"Didn't he use to be a rat?" Emma asked humorously as she reached the pirate. Killian turned slowly, his voice showing signs of previous annoyance.

"Aye, in many ways he still is. Lily apparently is fond of him in the future, I'm at a loss as to why." He grumbled. She studied his face as he turned, taking daily inventory on the darkness beneath his eyes. She hopes he slept enough to function, but she's seen him function for weeks without. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Swan." His voice was raspy as if he had only just woken up, and her lips might have tingled in response to hearing it. That's neither here nor there.

Answer the question and stop staring.

She glanced back at Henry to cut the tension-charged exchange between them. "I was wondering if you could take care of Henry again?" She asked as she turned back to face him, the fluttering in her gut still not subsiding, but she'd just have to battle through it.

He swayed closer, turning on the smolder as he spoke "If you wanted to get close to me, you just have to ask." his voice only getting lower, more irresistible, and she's never noticed how utterly satisfying his accent was when he was this close. Well, she's pretended until now to never notice. "No need to use the lad as an excuse." But when his eyes flickered to Henry, the facade faded for only a fleeting moment, showing something else, something deep.

"Don't make this about us, about last night." Emma lowered her own tone. She's learned from him before, the best way to cease his flirting is to show a bit of her own. "I need your help, because Regina needs to train me in think together we might be able to defeat the Wicked Witch"

"That's the first reasonable plan I've heard since this all began." He reassured her, always. "Magic is a part of you, Swan. Don't forget I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart." Sometimes his reassurance and constant faith in her made her uneasy. She'd hate to fail him, she doesn't want magic nearly as much as she just wants a safe place again. "You've got the power inside of you, it's about time you embraced it. It's what makes you the savior." His eyes promised her something she wasn't ready to hear.

"This isn't about me. This is about defeating Zelena and helping Lily. Proving to her that white magic is priceless and she doesn't have to worry when she get's home."

"Where is Lily? Is she accompanying you?" Killian scanned the dock briefly before returning all attentions to Emma's eyes.

"She's with Belle."

"And you're not bitter about it?" He searched with concern.

"I was, we talked, now I'm not." Emma exhaled calmly. "I'm her mom, she loves me."

"I told you that." Killian smiled again, like it wasn't pathetic.

"I guess I needed her to tell me." Emma shrugged, not wanting to dwell on the fact that her eight year-old has to provide her with security she can't grasp on her own. "Anyhow, she's safe, and I need to focus on keeping the town safe and figuring out how to keep the future-you safe."

"You're concerned for my safety, are you?" He was flirting again, but she could see the insecurity gripping him by the stiffness of his jaw.

"I don't want my kids to hurt over the loss of their father." She knew exactly what she was saying, and she meant it. Leaving it there for him to find security in, because she very well wasn't going to confess love for him to relax. It didn't stop him from swallowing hard as he glanced over at Henry once more.

"You picked me over your parents. Is this because of what I admitted to last night?" a pained voice rising through the raspiness.

"It's because I trust you with him, and he likes you, a lot." Emma beamed at Killian brightly. He smiled back shyly. She ignored scratching behind his ear, not wanting to acknowledge how nervous it made him for her to be kind. She turned and motioned for Henry to approach before sparing Killian an appreciative smirk "Thank you again, for yesterday and Today."

"Anything."

XXXXXXXX

Lily was working on inventory Today. Belle had closed her books on researching and decided she needed to get back to cleaning this shop, Lily being very kind and generous, decided to lend her a hand.

Perhaps she offered to take inventory of wands first, although Belle sent her a wary brow, she agreed in the end and moved to the opposite side of the showroom to inventory all royal looking items. She used the time to scan the shop for the wand she'd need if she wanted to ever get back to her own time. She came across several different ones. A creepy one she's certain the Dark Lord Voldemort used in the last Harry Potter Film. After a moment of pondering whether or not he's real, she continued on to an icy blue wand and a subtle oak one with ivy engraved in the wood. Neither looked familiar. The one she needed was a light brass. The wand wasn't showing up anywhere she searched.

Fortunately for Lily, no one has pressed her on the matter of her return. She simply stated that she had it covered and they all decided it was good enough for them. Of course, she knew she wouldn't be that lucky for the entire stay, but she was really enjoying the lack of overreactions from her family over not being able to produce the wand.

Once she gave up hope in the showroom, she ducked toward the back, ransacking chests and drawers that Gold has stuffed all about. She was so focused in her search, she missed the sound of footsteps approaching her.

"Lose something, Darling?" She knew that smooth voice from anywhere. Her father was standing behind her and she could choose to whip around and meet his more than likely heartbroken eyes, or she could continue her search, using only 'yes' and 'no' to keep the conversation short. What was he even doing here?

"I'm inventorying wands." She groaned. She doesn't want to come off cold, but she's just not prepared to revisit last nights dark and guilty emotions when she could avoid the conversation for the time being. She lied to her mother over sailing. Sailing is her most favorite thing in the world. She did it to keep her eyes off her father's and the scoundrel found her anyhow.

"Ah." Killian kneeled beside her. "Have I upset you, my love?"

"No." She answered cold as she could muster. "I'm just busy working for Belle. This is a big shop and she's all alone."

"You won't even meet my eyes." he sighed, sounding defeated. If that's any indication to what lies within his 'forget-me-not' blues, then she's not interested in meeting them at all. "If you're pushing me away to prevent from hurting when I leave you, know that I will not be leaving you."

"Dad, I'm really busy. I just can't bring this all back up right now, Belle needs my help."

"That's funny, she's helping me. So, perhaps you could help her help me and spare your father a glance for sympathy if nothing else." He ran his fingers across her temple, sliding the loose lock that always flocked to her face behind her ear. Lily turned slowly, meeting his chin. The clever jerk he was, he dipped his head lower, catching her eyes before she was even ready.

"Daddy!" Lily smacked his arm playfully. "It was supposed to be on my terms. Why are you even here, where's Henry?" He sighed, leaning over to kiss her brow before answering.

"Your charming grandparents decided I was most suitable for helping Ariel find her prince." He confessed begrudgingly, not because he'd have better things to do… no. Lily racked her mind for this section of the story. She kept forgetting important details that all circulated around this darn shop.

"Ariel? The mermaid?"

"Aye." He exhaled with lackluster. No longer contented from being in Lily's presence alone. It clicked. That was not Ariel, and this day does not end well for him. She wants to warn him, to stand and blast Zelena from this shop, but she's not to tamper with time again. Especially when she can't find the cursed wand that brought her here.

"Oh." Lily mouthed longer than needed to breathe the sound. "Well, I'd love to be of assistance but I'm allergic to fish." Lily scrunched her nose before rising from her knees and moving out of the backroom. In passing, 'Ariel' watched Lily with suspicion and distrust. 'How fitting.' Lily thought 'you're the witch in disguise, but i'm the one who can't be trusted.'

"Lily!" Killian called out to her, but the child booked it to the front door, deciding a breather was much more necessary than following instruction and telling an adult her every move.

She made it out and onto Main Street just in time to almost be crushed by what appeared to be Henry's first truck, but she was too fearful for her life to be sure.