My Regret
With what happened in the previous chapter, I can tell you all want to kill me more so than ever. I just ask that you let me recover from surgery first.
There is also some time skip, not a lot, but you'll understand how this all works out. I hope you like this chapter.
Chapter 9
That special feeling you get when remembering something that happened to you or with another in the past, it's amazing. Looking at it with fond eyes. You know what I'm talking about right? Reminiscing about them with the person who was there at the time with you. Smiling and laughing thinking about it.
Levi can't remember the past 3 years of his life. There are so many blanks in his memory, he doesn't know where to begin. He was still curious as to why Hanji showed him the picture of the boy, what was his name again? Oh, Eren. Eren...something...ah, Jeager. Just why did his sister and the crazy scientist insist he try to tell them something he remembered about him. He just couldn't. It was impossible to tell them anything about a person he had never seen nor met before. Could you do that too?
Seriously, why was it important that he knew who the brunette was anyway? He must have just been another person he met in his life. More than likely had no meaning whatsoever.
Currently he was with his sister and Hanji in his room, the raven haired girl that had been there left some time ago. Who was she anyway, the two hadn't bothered to tell him. Must have been some friend of theirs. Anyway, he knew about his job, all his coworkers and shit, well, the things he needed to know anyway.
The doctor came in several hours later, a clipboard in his hand. He apparently told them Levi had temporary amnesia, and would regain all his memories within due time. He could look through photo albums, if he had any, it was mainly Petra that kept those, meet the people he forgot and whatever else they felt the raven should know.
Petra shot a worried gaze at her brother. "Do you remember who Oluo is?"
"You mean the dumbass who tries to impersonate me and bites his tongue in the process. Tch, bastard can't even come close to what I'm really like."
"What about Erwin?"
The raven raised a hand. "Petra. I remember all of them. There's no need to make sure you cross check every person I've met up until now."
She slumped her shoulders. "I know...it's just..." The blonde looked away. "I was just scared that you wouldn't remember anyone...and...that terrifies me..."
Levi sighed. "Look, I know the situation at hand is not the best. But, you also have to understand what the doctor said. It might take a while before I remember every single thing that happened and that I can't recall. You can't rush these things, Petra. I know you want my memory to come back, and it might and might not, but we also have to be positive and focus on the fact that I remember you as my sister." He pointed over to Hanji, whom was sleeping on one of the chairs. "Shitty glasses over there. And that fact that mother is dead, and father is no where to be seen. As long as I know that, perhaps everything else will come to me eventually. We just have to wait shit out. That's all we can do."
"I guess so. I should just be happy you didn't completely forget everything."
"Exactly. Now, I recommend the two of us get some damn sleep. Stupid nurses kept waking me up last night."
Petra laughed lightly at her brother. "Alright. Let's get some sleep." She got up and went over to where Hanji was sleeping. She slumped in the seat and rested her head against the slumbering brunette.
The raven laid back in his bed and adjusted his pillow. He pulled the covers up and closed his eyes. Letting his mind drift off.
Mikasa sat in her hotel room, scarf wrapped around her neck. She had gone back to Levi's apartment and got her scarf back. The raven haired woman was not settling well with the entire situation.
The fact that Levi had temporary amnesia was horrible no doubt, the thing that truly scared her...he couldn't remember who Eren was. He didn't know the two were lovers for two years and had two children together. It was all gone within an instant.
She had received the call from Hanji hours prior letting her know that Levi couldn't remember who Eren was. It crushed knew what Levi had could take a while before everything went back to normal...but what if it didn't?
Eren would more than likely forget about the raven, seeing as her mother informed her their relationship had been getting more loving from her brother's side, and what if Eren married the taller brunette? Would the boy tell his children their real father couldn't remember who they were because of his condition, and that the man they call their father is not their biological one.
A lot of things could go down whether Levi remembered or not. He could eventually regain his memory and fight for Eren and his two children, that would take some time, but the older man was stubborn as fuck, he'd pull it off.
If nothing changed with him and his memory...Eren would marry Bertolt, more than likely have children with him, Yami and Sebastian would never meet their real father and Levi would never know about his children and lover being married to another.
Say what you will about Mikasa being an over protective sister, but she was damned if those two dorks didn't end up together in the end. They deserved to be the family they had already formed.
She sighed and laid back on the bed. Mikasa stared at the ceiling and hoped that Levi remembered everything that happened in the past 3 years he couldn't recall.
6 months had gone by since Levi's accident, and the man had been coping rather well. Petra had been a major help with the entire process. The raven had been completely surprised when his sister contacted his two friends, Isabel and Farlan, whom moved from France and decided to move to Japan permanently.
The two had been more than ecstatic to see him, Farlan being able to control it more than Isabel, but none the less happy. The raven had let them stay at his home until they both found a job and a home they could both live in.
You could say that Levi was glad his two best friends lived with him and no longer far away and that nothing was going wrong...well, for the most part.
"Do you remember the day where you left from France?"
Levi sighed. "Yes, Isabel. I remember all that. Everything from when I still lived in France with you and Farlan."
Isabel slumped in her seat. "Sorry, bro. I just worry is all."
It wasn't a bad thing that the two worried about him, it was just a bit frustrating to him that people kept pestering him about whatever the hell he knew. He already got enough of that with the constant appointments with his doctor.
The man pat her head. "It's fine."
"Big bro?"
"Yes?"
"Where's Farlan?"
"He's with Erwin. Eyebrows managed to get him a job at the company."
"Brother finally got a job? That's great!"
The raven nodded, chuckling at the red head's excitement. "Yeah. I think he's going to be working in the same department as I am. Eyebrows thought Farlan would learn easier and faster that way."
"I hope he does."
"God, I hope so too."
"I really can't believe the kids are eleven months now."
"They both grew up fast."
Eren turned his head and placed a kiss against his lover's cheek.
Bertolt smiled and brought the boy closer to his chest.
Over the months the two had gotten closer and that made them both happy. He had began to see Eren really forget more about Levi. He focused more on his children, schooling and their relationship.
The boy snuggled into the strong chest and continued to read some notes for his upcoming test.
From the crack in the door, Mikasa watched as both brunette's snuggled up on Eren's bed. She lowered her onyx eyes and walked away from the door.
She felt like she should have told Eren what happened six months ago when she went back to their old home city. But, at the same time, she began to see how much Eren focused on things that were much more important. Besides, how was she to tell him that his old lover didn't remember him and the fact that they have two children together. It would crush him to know that. So, she opted to now letting him know.
Mikasa received calls from Hanji and Petra every week to let her know more on Levi's condition and how he was progressing after several months. It sounded like he was slowly gaining his memories back. It was something, she really couldn't argue against that. But, dammit that short shit needed to remember Eren and their relationship the most. Them being together made Levi a better person in general. Gone was the emotionless business man, and was instantly replaced with a sappy, soft romantic. Mikasa, somehow, missed those days.
Yes, she was mad, or rather jealous, at the man when he first came into her brother's life. Eren was young and inexperienced with love back then. As the months went on, and after many death threats, she began to see the man Eren did. He appeared to be very intimidating at first glance, it was all replaced once getting to know the raven.
The raven haired female walked back into her room and shut the door behind her. Sighing, she walked over to her desk and sat down. She pulled out some paper and a pen. Mikasa then began writing.
Hanji
I want you to give this letter to Levi once he remembers every single last thing about Eren. Make sure that he gets it. I'm allowing you to read this before hand so you can understand how important all this is. Only give him this when he remembers Eren. I don't want him to read this unless he remembers on his own.
The raven haired female grabbed another sheet of paper and placed it on top of the first one.
Levi.
I know by now you remember everything, am I right? I still can't believe out of all the things you know, you forgot about my brother and your children. I found it very hard to believe. Had I not seen and heard it all first hand, I would have thought someone was messing with me. I just want you to understand that I want you and my brother back together. I know I came off as a very overprotective sister, and it was only because Eren knew nothing about love until you came along, and I was worried about him, especially in the manner you told me and my mother how you two met. But, you also saw that I also began to tolerate you a lot more, more than I thought I would.
I'd never say this out loud, but I do miss the days where you would come over, flowers in hand, dressed up all nice with this head over heels look in your eyes. It was because of that, I knew I could trust you with my beloved brother. Every single sappy thing that you did for Eren not only touched him, but me and my mother as well. You were the ideal person we wanted for him. Yeah, yeah, I bet you think this isn't me whose writing this, well believe it shorty. You read my first letter to you. I actually do like you as a person and not just a target.
The main reason all this happened was because I told you that my brother was in a relationship with another, don't let that be the obstacle in your path. Get your short ass in motion already. Where's that damn stubborn man who fought constantly with me? Where is he? I miss that bastard. He is the person I want you to be again. The man who didn't take shit from anyone and did as he pleased. Be that man again. If you are as in love with Eren as you told me an endless amount of times, then you'll easily do that.
Let this also motivate you more. Sebastian is looking more like you with each passing day. I didn't think we would have a mini Levi running around, but with the amount of times that you two went at it like rabbits, I shouldn't be too surprised. Yami looks more a combination of the two of you. Kid acts more like Eren though.
Those kids deserve to know who their father is, not that dumbass Bertolt, and their father needs to know who they are. Do all you have to do, but by the gods, get your ass in gear and come see your kids. I'll help you in whatever fashion I can. But, you also need to help me by doing something and making sure you get here. I don't care what my brother thinks nor that other brunette moron, you two dorks belong together. Your children are what really represent that.
Hurry up and do something. We can't wait forever. Nothing is guaranteed to stay the same. You once told me that, and now it's my turn to tell you. Do all that you can. You have my support in all this. I'll be waiting, shorty.
Mikasa.
She set her pen down and leaned back in her seat. That man needed to remember everything fast. She saw how close Eren and Bertolt were now. It didn't help that she heard just how close they were now.
Looking down at her hands in her lap, Mikasa wanted that bastard to hurry up and get here now. She often recalled Levi's words, especially now.
"Nothing is guaranteed to stay the same forever, you know that, right? You might love how things are right now. Well, make sure that you savor it. In the blink of an eye it can be gone and you can find yourself alone and wanting everything back. It's not that simple. You have to fight for it all. Nothing is given to you. Fuck no, you have to obtain it with your head high and feeling certain. You have to do all you can, Ackerman. Life is like that."
The raven haired female sighed and rested her head on her desk. She just hoped Levi returned to normal soon, and Eren and Bertolt didn't get any closer. Eren didn't realize this wouldn't make him happy. She was the only one who knew how he truly felt. She sighed. Why did he brother have to be so thick headed?
"Farlan."
The blonde turned around and faced Isabel. "Yes?"
It was late at night, Levi had already gone to bed. The two were the only ones up right now. There was something on the red head's mind, and thought it would be best to talk it out with one of her older brothers.
"I saw some pictures of Levi with Eren. Petra showed them to me."
"He was out big bro's lover, right?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"I've never seen big bro that happy with someone that wasn't us or Petra. It was...nice."
Farlan sat down next to her. "Is that so?"
The red head nodded. She grabbed a small envelope off her nightstand and handed it to Farlan.
He took it from Isabel and opened it up. He pulled out a photo of Levi and Eren together. It must have been Christmas around that time. He saw the raven smiling and the brunette sitting on his lap, they were cuddled together. His sister was indeed right. Their older brother did look happy just to have Eren there with him.
"He does look happy."
"Big bro never looked like that when he had a lover in France."
"Levi never really looked happy even when he had someone. I do think Eren was someone made for him."
"...Why did big bro not want his kids?"
Farlan sighed. "I really can't answer that for you, Isabel. I really don't know what was going through his head at the time. So much has happened because he rejected his lover and children. I can say for certain, things would have played out different should he have accepted his family. But, we can't dwell on on our past decisions. We can only deal with what we've done and move forward."
Isabel stared at the blonde man for a moment. "I just wish Levi had made the right decision. Now look where he is. He doesn't know who Eren is."
"I wanted that too for big bro, Isabel. But, there's nothing that can be done. He made his decision and we're here to see the result."
"Do you...do you think that Levi will eventually remember everything?"
The blonde stared at the walls for a moment. "Who can say, sister? He might and might not. You heard it yourself."
"I just really want him to be the same as he was..."
"He is in a way..."
She stared at him, her green eyes focused on his figure. "How?"
"Levi might not remember what happened in the past 3 years, but he does remember us."
"And what about Eren? His children? Do you think he would be truly fine without knowing about the life he made within the time he can't recall? What happens if he remembers and its too late? What then?"
Farlan placed his hands on the red head's shoulders, calming her down slightly. "If he does end up recalling everything within these past three years, I'm certain he'll rush to Eren and his children."
The girl sighed and looked down. "I guess you're right."
"Yes. Now, I recommend we both get some sleep. You and I have had a long day." He stood up and went to lay in his bed.
Isabel laid down in her own bed and covered herself with the blankets.
Whether Levi remembered or not would impact his life for the good or bad. It was all up to a man who couldn't recall three years worth of memories. Reality had a way of showing how harsh it was to them now.
End of Chapter 9
Yes, now Isabel and Farlan are in this story now. And am I the only one who enjoyed the Erebert moment? I more than likely am, so, -Dives under bed- I'll start typing up the next chapter. -Waves- Later.
