Chapter 9: Tiny Little Fractures

They crowded into the small staffroom and Sugoroku bustled off to make the tea and coffee. Ryou slid unhappily out of his ineffective-looking jacket, and Malik winced to see that he was indeed only wearing a thin, pale blue cotton polo-neck underneath. He tugged his scarf and gloves off too, and his fingers were white with the cold, his nails bordering on blue. They started to flush a more healthy pink in the sudden heat of the shop, though, with his pale cheeks starting to also take on the same rosy hue.

"Gods…" Malik muttered to him as he hovered at the edge of the room awkwardly, "Get yourself a winter coat, huh?"

"You're not off the hook yet, you know," Ryou returned lowly, effectively quietening him. Malik sighed exasperatedly and directed him over to the moss-green sofa in the centre of the room – anything to stop him shuffling from foot to foot, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

Ryou sat there as directed, his back poker-straight. Sugoroku served out the beverages and chatted idly and Ryou smiled politely and didn't say a word. Malik wished he'd stop it. He wanted to reach over and shake him and shout at him to just stop it. He hated that smile. It wasn't real. It was so forced, so plastic. Painted on. A clown's smile.

Atemu hadn't followed them here, Malik suddenly realised. Sugoroku and Yuugi chattered for a while longer about nothing in particular – then Yuugi commented that they were running low on milk and dashed off to find some more, while Sugoroku said he'd go and fetch a fresh packet of biscuits. When ten minutes passed and neither of them had returned, Malik realised that they weren't coming back.

"Oh…" he said, tucking his feet underneath him and twisting round to face the white-haired teen, "It seems we've been set up."

"Really?" Ryou replied dully. His hands were clasped too tightly in his lap, and his face was drawn and closed, like a shut blind. He looked so uncomfortable, here in this place that had become like a second home for Malik, in this place where, really, he belonged infinitely more than anywhere in daunting South Domino.

"I really am sorry," Malik said earnestly, since it was very clear that he was far from forgiven, "I guess I just…wasn't thinking. I was stupid. I thought maybe Bakura would have developed a shred of conscience, now that he's human again. I honestly didn't think he'd use anything I told him to hurt you."

"Then you were very stupid," Ryou informed him bluntly, "He's the exact same as he was before, if not worse. I knew as much the moment I saw him. I told you this. Why were you telling him about me, anyway?"

"He asked," Malik said with a helpless shrug, "I meant no harm."

"But why were you talking to him? Why were you even near him?"

There was a desperation in Ryou's tone – as if he just couldn't believe what he was hearing and hoped now to disprove it through meticulous questioning.

"Why so surprised?" Malik enquired, smiling faintly despite himself, "I was near him because a certain Ryou Bakura phoned me up on Wednesday evening and asked me to go and look for him."

Ryou flushed slightly.

"I asked you to make sure he wasn't dead," he retorted, looking away, "Not to befriend him and spill all the gory details of my life to him. Gods, maybe I should have just left him to die…he deserves to die."

His pale hands had curled into tight, knotted fists. Malik shifted unhappily, not liking hearing him talk this way – full of anger and vengeance – because it really wasn't like him, and only served to prove the adverse effect Bakura's presence was having on him.

"He did die, Ryou," he reminded him, "He's been dead three years. Hasn't he paid a little penance?"

"He feels no remorse," Ryou said flatly, "In his mind, he has no penance to pay. He either doesn't think he's done anything wrong, or he knows he has and is just plain delighted about it."

Malik sighed heavily, feeling like a child caught between warring parents.

"Will you never forgive him…?" he asked despondently.

"He doesn't want to be forgiven," Ryou replied, then he frowned and his eyes flashed angrily, "But why do you think I should? What reason do you see for me to forgive and forget?"

"No, I don't…there's no reason…" Malik murmured, looking away.

There was a pause in which Ryou regarded him almost suspiciously.

"Do you like him, Malik?" he asked at length. Malik laughed.

"I wouldn't go quite that far," he said, "I know as well as anyone what a bastard he can be. But I don't hate him, either. I can't quite find it in me to hate him."

"Why?" Ryou asked, looking slightly hurt. Malik realised he must have sounded rather dismissive of what the poor teen had been through.

"I know he's done terrible things, and there's no excuse for that…" he said slowly, "But…you know. I did terrible things too. And I got another chance."

"That was different…" Ryou started to protest.

"Was it?"

"You…what your father did to you," he mumbled, "And Mariku, and…it wasn't your fault."

"It was," Malik said plaintively, "Maybe my past can justify…no, not justify, explain why I acted that way, but it was still my fault. And I think Bakura might be the same."

"What do you mean?"

Malik chewed his lower lip reflectively for a moment.

"Yuugi and the others never really told me what they saw in the Memory World," he said finally, "But I'm willing to bet there was some…reason that Bakura held a grudge against Pharaoh, and wanted the Millennium Items."

"Didn't he want to summon some demon or other?" Ryou muttered darkly.

"Zorc Necrophades," Malik informed him, "But, again, he must have had a serious motive. People don't try and destroy the world they live in for no reason."

"Did they teach you that at college?" Ryou asked, folding his arms.

"Yes, that was a fascinating lecture," Malik said, rolling his eyes before becoming serious again, "I think something bad happened to him, and it's never been allowed to heal."

Ryou considered.

"Some people are just evil," he said at length, "They don't need a reason. They just want power, and to hurt people."

"That's true," Malik conceded, "But I don't think he's one of them."

"You didn't have him stuck in your head for five years," Ryou said bitterly.

"That's also true," Malik said with a slight smile.

"I don't want to know his tragedy," Ryou said determinedly, "I don't want to learn something that makes him pitiable. A sad story might make me stop hating him."

Malik looked at him unhappily.

"Is hating him better? Are you still afraid of him?" he asked, "Even a little?"

"I'm afraid of what might happen if our lives become involved," Ryou said quietly.

"I think he's afraid of you," Malik commented. Ryou looked at him in surprise.

"What?" he asked.

"Since I blew one of your secrets to him, I might as well do it vice versa…" the blonde said, "I honestly think he's scared by you, in his way. He said that he believes you could kill him, if you chose to. He'd never have said that before."

Ryou's face was bewildered, making him look a little like his old self.

"He was so cruel last night…" he murmured, "He didn't seem afraid at all."

"I doubt he'd ever show it," Malik said, "Showing any kind of weakness to you would probably be too much for him to bear."

Ryou gave a small, sad sigh.

"He's with you, isn't he?" he said. It was more of a statement than a question, but Malik felt he should answer anyway.

"Yes, he is," he said unflinchingly, "I guess I couldn't bring myself to leave him at the mercy of the Domino streets."

"That either gives you the moral high-ground, or makes you crazy," Ryou said, "What if he hurts you?"

"I know he won't."

"You 'knew' he wouldn't hurt me," Ryou pointed out, suddenly reaching out and grabbing his hand, "Malik, please. I don't want you to get hurt."

Malik stared at Ryou's pale, bony hand desperately clasping his, like a child pleading for something, like words alone just weren't enough to express his feeling. At length he took both of his own hands and closed them gently around that tense, trembling one of Ryou's.

"Don't worry about me," he said with an imploring smile, "Bakura's a cruel bastard, but he's not stupid. He knows if he tries any of his shit with me, his ass will be right back on the streets. Besides, I can handle myself."

Ryou's eyes narrowed and he snatched his hand away.

"And I can't?" he said shortly, folding his skinny arms again.

"I didn't say that," Malik said with a frustrated sigh, copying the motion, "Come on, we both know you're more street-wise than any of us these days, and you're independent to the point of me wishing you weren't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryou demanded.

"I mean that anything could happen to you and I wouldn't know about it until the police came knocking at my door three weeks later," he elaborated with some accusation in his voice, "You distance yourself completely, like you can't even stand to be near me, or any of us…"

"It's not like that," Ryou said defensively, half-rising from his seat.

"Will you stop getting angry whenever I say something that touches on the truth?" Malik snapped, also getting to his feet, his own still-very-much-in-existence anger coming to the surface.

"You're being unreasonable," the white-haired teen said heatedly, "I don't have time to come here and mess around, I'm working and I'm studying-"

"We're all working and studying,"Malik shot back at him, "I'm at college, for God's sake, but I can still find time for people-"

"Don't compare your life to mine," Ryou said furiously, "If you think I'm in basically the same situation as you, then you're even blinder than I thought-!"

"You've got one hell of a temper these days, you know that?" Malik said darkly. Ryou visibly faltered – he knew that, when the Egyptian teen's voice took on that dangerously calm tone, it was a definite sign that he was really pissed off.

"That's not true-" he started to protest.

"Yeah it is. It's like you're always just about to snap," Malik said plaintively, eyes slightly narrowed,"And you sound just like him, sometimes, when you lose it."

"Malik, stop it-"

"That's what it's like, Ryou! It's like Bakura when he's angry, the way he just lashes out-!"

"Stop it!"

That hoarse scream, tearing from Ryou's throat like the wail of a distressed child, cut Malik short. The red mist of anger faded from his eyes, and he saw the white-haired teen with his hands over his ears. In the ensuing silence Ryou slowly returned to a normal stance, and then turned and stepped away, as if to run off.

"Wait…" Malik sighed, reaching out and catching his hand. The other teen tried to pull away, but Malik stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him securely, as much from affection and guilt as a means of keeping him still.

"Sorry, Ryou…" he said quietly.

"Shut up, shut up…" Ryou choked out over and over like a mantra, going rigid in his grasp, "I'm…I'm not like him. Don't say I'm like him. Please, say anything but that, anything, but not that…"

"I'm sorry," Malik said again, "It's ok."

Ryou's entire frame gave a violent shudder and he suddenly seemed very small to Malik, even felt smaller in his arms. His shoulders were trembling, almost as if he was crying, but he wasn't because Ryou never cried now. Not ever.

Malik sighed again, sitting back down on the sofa and tugging the other teen down with him. He didn't let go of him, because for some reason he felt like Ryou might just fall apart if he did. Ryou buried his face into the crook of his neck, as if he just wanted to hide – as if he couldn't face his unpleasant world anymore.

Malik heard the door creak open slightly and, looking up, saw Yuugi's concerned face peeking in, having apparently heard that little confrontation. He gave him a reassuring 'it's all under control' smile, and the smaller teen nodded and shut the door again.

"I thought I was safe…" Ryou mumbled, "After three years I thought I was free of him forever…but…but he just appeared-!"

"I know, I know…"

They sat like that for what seemed like a long time, Ryou letting some of his pent-up misery and frustration leak out and Malik offering comfort in the simplest way he knew. He wished they hadn't had to fight, especially since they hadn't seen each other in such a long time. In fact, he could barely recall the last time he and Ryou had even spoken before that out-of-the-blue phone-call on Wednesday.

BLEEP. Hi, this is Malik – I'm not home, or I'm ignoring the phone, so leave a message-

"Malik. Are you there? Pick up the phone. Please. Malik, he's back…"

Malik almost choked on a mouthful of fries and lunged for the phone at that voice.

"Ryou, is that you?" he gaped.

"Yes. Please, listen…he's back. Bakura. He's back, with a body and everything…"

"Shit, you didn't know? Pharaoh was talking about it earlier…"

"He's back too? Is there some kind of big reunion I don't know about?"

Ryou's voice was bordering on hysterical, going a fair few octaves above its normal level.

"Ryou, are you alright? Is he causing trouble? Do you need help?"

"…Not exactly."

There was a long silence as Malik waited for him to explain.

"…I was wondering if you'd go…look for him."

"…Huh?" Malik gawped, now completely at a loss.

"I'm sorry, I know it sounds bizarre, but…I just want you to look and make sure he's not…dying…"

"Why would he be…? Actually, never mind," Malik said, shaking his head as he pieced together what had happened, "Fine, I'll go scout around for him. I'd better go now, before it gets too dark…"

"Malik."

He stopped short at Ryou's tone.

"Yeah?"

"If you find him…do not tell him I sent you."

The blonde smiled slightly. Truth be told, he didn't really care if the spirits were back in the world of the living, if it meant Ryou wasn't going to be alone so much.

Of course, the thought of bumping into Mariku still wasn't particularly appealing to him.

"Nngh…" Ryou mumbled against his neck, "Why won't he leave me alone…?"

"I really don't know," Malik admitted, "He has absolutely nothing to gain from tormenting you, so why…?"

He felt Ryou's mouth curve into a cold smile.

"I told you," he said, "Some people don't need a reason to be evil. I think you give him too much credit."

Malik snorted to himself.

"I think you could be right," he said.

Ryou sighed and sat up slightly, reaching up with one hand to fiddle idly with one of Malik's gold earrings.

"I've missed you, y'know," he said quietly.

"Then why do you never call or come and visit?" Malik asked chidingly.

Ryou sighed again and lowered his head.

"Ryou?"

"I'm…ashamed, I guess," he murmured, "That's why I don't visit you, or Yuugi, or anyone. It hurts too much to look in your eyes and see this reflected back."

"Stop that. There's nothing to be ashamed of," Malik said firmly, "You do what you have to do."

Ryou laughed softly but coldly.

"That's right…I did what I had to do. I do what I have to do. And those things…they change me. Don't pretend like you haven't noticed."

"Stop it. That's not true," Malik insisted, but his conviction was wavering, "You're just the same. You've just…grown up, that's all."

Ryou looked at him sadly.

"I feel like I am becoming like him," he said, "I can't stand it, it's my worst fear, being like him, but I think it's happening…"

"No," Malik said, grasping his shoulders, but he found he could find nothing further to say to contradict this theory. He couldn't lie and say he'd never seen a disturbing flicker of Bakura in Ryou, ever since he'd recovered from that…illness those few years ago. It was as if that had been the final straw, Bakura's final act of spite towards his host, and it had left an indelible mark on him – engrained a painful shard, a tiny sliver, of his yami's anger and bitterness into him, only made worse by the state of his life, which did nothing to restore his faith in the world.

It was Malik's turn to sigh as he looked into those mournful brown eyes, their walls of indifference temporarily lowered while it was just the two of them. They were pleading with him to tell him that it was ok, he wasn't becoming like his darkness in any way. But Malik had lost some of his skill at lying over the years.

"Remember, Ryou," he said instead, "The only one who can decide who you are is you. Circumstances can make it hard, but in the end, you shape who you become."

Ryou opened his mouth to reply, but the words seemed to catch in his throat and he started coughing rather violently. This served to lighten the mood considerably, and Malik laughed and batted him around the head playfully, already feeling a little embarrassed about that burst of philosophy.

"See, now you're coming down with a cold," he mock-scolded, "I'm telling you, get a decent coat."

"It's not…a cold," Ryou said stubbornly in between coughs, his eyes starting to water, "Just…this damn cough…"

Malik's smile faded slightly.

"Just a cough?" he asked apprehensively, "Nothing else? You haven't been dizzy or…?"

"No," Ryou said steadfastly, "Just a silly cough."

"You're sure? I mean, you know how things can suddenly-"

"Malik, don't fuss!" Ryou groaned, but he was smiling, and it was less fake than before. Malik smiled too, and apologised for being such a worry-wart.

They fell to talking about more normal things – mostly from Malik's day-to-day life, since Ryou didn't really have a whole lot of normality to share. He did speak a little about Kazuma and Mio – neither of whom Malik had ever met, but Ryou had told him about them a few times before – and once or twice approached the subject of Mariku, but Malik directed him carefully away from that and he obliged without question.

For a while it was just like old times – but only for a while.

"I think you're missing your shift, Malik," Ryou said suddenly, "Shouldn't you be getting back?"

"Probably," he agreed, looking at the clock with regret.

"I need to go, anyway," Ryou said, getting to his feet, "I have work later…assuming I still have a job, of course."

Malik's spirits sank. The white-haired teen had already raised his protective barriers again. There was no reaching him now.

"Look after yourself, Ryou," he said, "And keep in touch, huh?"

"I'll try," Ryou replied, his plastic-clown-smile sliding back into place, and Malik suspected he was lying. The white-haired teen tugged on his pathetic excuse for a jacket, gathered up his gloves and scarf, and they exited the room. On the way out Ryou thanked Sugoroku for the coffee he hadn't drank, said a quick farewell to Yuugi and Otogi and shot Atemu a very, very forced smile. And then he was gone, back out in that merciless winter that he had so little protection against. Malik suddenly realised that any time he said goodbye to Ryou could easily be the last time.

"Did he forgive you?" Yuugi asked smilingly, breaking his morbid train of thought.

"It's kind of difficult to tell," he replied, "But he seemed to let it go."

"What exactly was the problem?" Atemu asked, "I gather it was something to do with Bakura, but…"

"Basically, Bakura was giving Ryou undue hassle at work," Malik said, mentally planning to hang, draw and quarter the Thief later, "Honestly, how pathetic can you get…?"

"But…I don't understand," Atemu said, expression clouding over, "If Bakura was causing trouble at Ryou's…'work'…why is that your fault?"

"Because I, stupidly, told him where Ryou works," Malik said, palming his forehead, "He might have been able to find it anyway, with that connection thing they have, but…still. I'm surprised he went after Ryou again so soon, actually…I mean, he was in a bit of mess from their last encounter…"

He suddenly noticed that the room had gone completely, deathly silent, and all eyes were on him.

"You've seen him," Atemu said in realisation.

Malik winced inwardly as his mistake registered in his mind.

"…Yeah," he said at length, looking at the floor.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Yuugi asked disbelievingly.

"It's only been a few days…and he hasn't cropped up in conversation much until now…" the blonde said with a shrug, eyes wandering awkwardly.

"Are you trying to say you just forgot to mention him?"

"No, I…"

"Where is he, Malik?"

There was another silence as Malik stared blankly at Atemu.

"What?" he said finally.

"Where is Bakura?" the Pharaoh repeated, "You know where he is, don't you?"

Malik hesitated.

"Yes," he said carefully, "But I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Atemu asked incredulously.

"Because I told him I wouldn't say," he said, wringing his hands agitatedly, "I told him that unless it was really important, I wouldn't say…"

"Don't you think this is important?"

"No…I mean, yes, but…I told him…"

"Whose side are you on, anyway?"

Malik froze at that voice. Turning around slowly, he saw Otogi looking at him darkly, his eyes like twin hard slices of emerald. And those eyes held something that no one here had looked at him with in a long time: suspicion. Otogi wasn't the only one, either, he realised – Atemu, Yuugi, and Sugoroku: they were all watching him doubtfully, their trust in him seeming to be in serious jeopardy. He knew that, for the first time in years, they were thinking back to Battle City, back to how he'd teamed up with Bakura, fought alongside him and raised hell. And he knew what they were asking themselves: Is he going to do it again?

He felt like there was a spotlight on him as they awaited his response – a big sign round his neck labelling him a traitor and a no-good turncoat. Still, he stood up tall and looked Atemu in the face.

"I won't tell you where he is, Pharaoh," he said, keeping his voice steady, "Because there's no point in you and him seeing each other. What good would it do if you sought him out? He wouldn't talk rationally with you, or take your advice – you'd just end up fighting again," he paused and took a breath, "And that wouldn't help anything."

And with that he turned away from them and their accusing eyes and set to work labelling items in the stockroom.

He didn't speak to any of them for the rest of the day.


End chapter. It looks like angstshipping. But it's not, I swear.

Aha, the plot thickens. Slightly. Not really.

Malik really does seem very wise in this story. So far.

Huge thanks you's go out to millenniumthief, gliitch, Niilan, RyouLoverForever, Chrys, ONIX-21, Ceilo, CoCoBookmark, AnimeLoverAngel, XionItachi, pride1289, The Lunar Rainbow, , Twilight-Imp-626, chibi heishi, liztheyiaoaddict, Sirithdiliel, Thief Mistress Thorn, Pharaohdeli, felton0fanatic, Jaybird4909, Schizo-of-Destiny, Merina, Wannaseemymoon, MissTreason, Streamcry, stevenlover101, Franklyn, Phaenilix and XxAlysxX. You are all my sunshines :]

Wow, you guys really did beat chapter 7's record xD Well done! Fight on? .

Review?

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