"I'll pretend not to notice, When you walk in the room. And I'll turn away, If you look in my direction. So ring the bells, 'Cause you broke the rules. The frost covered chimes, That ring with your touch.
I'll avoid your eye, If we meet in a restaurant. And ignore your cold touch, If you brush up beside me. So ring the bells, 'Cause you broke the rules. The frost covered chimes, That ring with your touch.
Turn your back. Get out of here. I can't stand what you did; You're such a liar. It was friendship or drugs, Sleeping in or the arcade, Some girl or the gang. And you lied.
So ring the bells, 'Cause you broke the rules. The frost covered chimes, That break from your touch."
A poem I wrote in my English class journal when I planned this and the previous chapter out. You'll probably recognize the "bridge" part because that's where I got Kaz's rant at Tom.
Thanks for reading!
Vita Dictata
-Edwardian Leo-Davis Private Academy, The Ring-
That horribly empty feeling came creeping up on him again, making him feel cold and alone. Kaz shivered, despite the warm sunlight filtering through the trees around him. It may have been October but the mornings were quite warm.
But that didn't matter.
What mattered was all the crap he was going through.
"I'm not sorry for that." Came Tom's voice from behind him.
"Shut up, I don't want to talk to you." Kaz hissed, his face in his hands.
"It's your own fault."
"I said shut up."
"Maybe if you thought about someone else once in a while—."
Kaz jumped to his feet and rounded on Tom, fury radiating from him like a heat lamp. His eyes blazed behind his glasses, brightening from dark chocolate to glowing topaz in a second. His fists quivered at his aides, arms tight with taunt muscle, and his breathing was heavy, angry, shaking with tears. Rage had turned Kaz around from the quiet, charismatic boy, to the ferocious, lanky lad who'd picked a fist fight with his best friend almost three years ago.
"You think I'm worried about my reputation!?" He snarled, quite literally, showing his teeth in an almost animalistic way, "You think I care what other people think about me!? I just hurt Mercy because you made a stupid choice and you want me to apologize to you!?"
Tom glared back coldly, equally taunt and ready to throw a punch, "Well, yeah. Seeing as you blew mine off!"
Kaz gave a scream of frustration that rang clearly in the air. Tears started boiling over once again but they were strange tears. Or so something in the back of Tom's infuriated brain whispered. They seemed to glow, just like Kaz's eyes, and, unless it was a trick of the light, they seemed to smolder and smoke as they rolled down his cheeks. But Kaz didn't seem to notice and Tom, seeing red as he was, certainly didn't.
Kaz was shaking so badly, the silver skulls on his belt loop jingled slightly, "This isn't—I don't—!" He screamed again, unable to find the words he needed to say. Then he began to sway on his feet, sobbing and stuttering.
Tom realized what was about to happen and leapt forward to catch Kaz as the other boy fainted on his feet. Tom stumbled at the unexpected weight as Kaz slumped into him, and then fell on his butt with a thud in the grass.
There was a few moments of silence and then the branches of the willow trees rustled and Mercy peered back inside. The look on her face was half-way between hurt and worry. And then she saw Kaz sprawled unconscious across Tom's lap and immediately became completely worried.
"Kazdan!" She ran to his side and dropped on the grass beside him, "Tom, what happened!? Did you hit him!?"
"No!" Tom snapped indignantly, "He fainted. He does that when he gets too worked up about something. Come on, help me get him into the Nurse's Office."
-???-
The world spun and tilted and turned underneath him and around him. Nausea clenched his stomach, his head was dizzy with the feeling of movement, and he fought the urge to be sick.
A splash. He was plunged beneath icey water so cold he lost the ability to move. Not that it mattered; in this place he seemed to only be a corporeal form incapable of controlling his movements. Perhaps this was another dream? No, it couldn't be. It didn't have the same feeling…
Something stirred in the water and he looked around.
A neon glowing body, dark and dangerous intelligence, and a wave of fear so strong it knocked him silly were all he could grasp before something yanked him away, out of the water, and into…
…into where? There was nothing but darkness.
"This is all there will be if everything is not made as it should be." Said a voice that came from him, and yet echoed around him and spoke in his mind all at the same time.
A tremor of apprehension and fear as he realized something that seemed impossible to realize.
He was touching someone else's consciousness.
He yelled and tried to run away from the other consciousness. But he could not move.
An overwhelming sense of power and calm swept over him. Power so strong, a single thought from it could obliterate entire worlds.
Oh, let him go, let him go. He wanted to get away. Something inside him told him that this thing—whatever or whoever it was—would steal his freedom. What was it? What power it held. Dangerous power. Let him go, let him go…!
Thoughts began to jumble inside his head from everywhere; millions of voices clashing around in his skull. He grabbed his head in his hands, crying out in pain in the infinite darkness that surrounded him.
The voices…! Too many voices! Make them stop, make them stop!
That consciousness sent another wave of power and calm towards him again but he screamed in fear and pain and loathing and wrenched himself away and out of the dream-that-was-not-a-dream and back into reality.
-Edwardian Leo-Davis Private Academy, the Nurse's Office-
"Ah…" Kaz was whimpering in his unconscious state, frowning and jerking this way and that. The blanket beneath him was wrinkled and twisted with his movement but Mercy was too worried—and slightly frightened—to stop him.
"Nhg…ah…" Mercy watched him roll onto his stomach and clench his fists into the bed sheets, burying his face in the pillow despite the glasses still adorning his face. He mumbled something she couldn't hear and then flopped onto his side, gasping. A trickle of sweat ran down from his forehead to his chin. His hands hung over the side of the bed, fingertips twitching. Mercy was glad she'd drawn the curtain around the little bed.
"Procul…" Kaz murmured. His voice sounded odd; strained like someone was pressing a heavy weight onto his chest, "Procul termanis…" She didn't understand what he was saying, "Nhhgg…" Kaz tossed himself onto his back, glasses askew. Mercy leaned forward to take them off before the boy accidentally broke them when Kaz said something again. Mercy leaned close.
"What?"
"Procul termanis…of Orbis Terrarum…" Kaz mumbled in that strained voice and then drew in a rattling, shaky breath, "Respiro…Procul termanis of…of Orbis…Terrarum…respiro…respiro…"
"Kaz?" Mercy whispered, "Kaz, are you pulling my leg or something?" She put a hand to his forehead and was surprised to find it hot. He was burning up. She stood up to go call the nurse when Kaz's eyes fluttered open with a contented sigh. He stared in a glazed sort of way at the ceiling. Then he blinked and focused.
"What?" He sat up then, adjusting his glasses, "Mercy? What happened?" His dark chocolate eyes flickered around the room, "Oh…I fainted, didn't I?" Mercy nodded slowly, still wary of the way he'd been acting earlier, "I used to do that a lot when we were little…"
"Tom got really upset." Mercy sat back down on the chair beside the bed as Kaz went about trying to smooth the wrinkles in his shirt, "He left to go tell Sarah and Peyton not to bother with going to the arcade."
"What!?" Kaz jumped up, boots thudding on the tile floor as he pushed himself off the bed, "No way! We've been planning the arcade for weeks! Come on!"
"Where're we going?"
"To stop him!" He was making this sound more dramatic than it really was.
Mercy jogged after him, pondering whether or not to tell him he'd been muttering things in a strange language in his sleep. Eventually, as they burst into the cool and sunny October air, she decided against it. Kaz had enough on his plate already.
Kaz saw Tom talking to Sarah and Peyton next to the front gate and put on an extra burst of speed. He skidded to a halt in front of his friends, crossed his arms over his chest, and said, "No freaking way!"
"No freaking way what?" Sarah asked.
"We're going to the arcade and that's that!"
"Dude, the arcade's closed." Peyton shrugged, "Some sort of renovation or something."
"We're going to Halloween USA instead." Tom wasn't looking at Kaz, keeping his front towards Sarah and Peyton, "You don't have to come."
Kaz's expression fell into one of incredible hurt. He felt as though someone had stabbed him a dozen times. A lump swelled in his throat. Mercy put her hand in his, comforting. Kaz took a deep breath and let it out slowly,
"I want to come."
"I don't want you to." Tom grumbled.
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Shut up. You're an idiot. Yes, you do." Kaz said. His face was blank but there was a slightly mischievous glint in his eye.
"You're an idiot. No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"No you don't."
"Shut up, Kaz!" Tom spun around, "Yes, I do!"
Kaz burst out laughing, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you fell for that!" He doubled over, tears springing into his eyes he was laughing to hard, "I can't…ahahahahahahahaha! I can't believe you! Ahaaaaaahahahahahahahaaahaha!" He started gasping for air and laughing at the same time.
"Uhhhh...did I miss something?" Peyton asked, looking to Mercy for an answer. Mercy just smiled and turned to Sarah,
"Did you do what I said?"
Sarah cast an inquisitive glance at Mercy and then looked around at the boys. Kaz had stopped laughing to see what was going on and Tom and Peyton were looking at Sarah as well. Sarah shrugged and nodded.
"Aaaannndd?"
"Yep." Sarah and Mercy shared a secret smile.
"Hey! What's going on!?" Tom demanded. He and Kaz seemed to have completely forgotten they were supposed to be fighting with each other.
"Girl stuff." Sarah and Mercy snapped at him at the same time. Tom backed off and put his hands up defensively while Kaz sniggered at the remark.
"Come on, dudes, are we going to Halloween USA or aren't we?" Peyton interjected, tapping his foot impatiently on the ground, "It's already a quarter past ten and I need a costume for the dance!"
Everyone stared at him.
"Who are you going with?" Kaz asked and Peyton actually turned pink,
"It's…uh…it's, um, a secret!"
Tom arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Sarah rolled her eyes and pulled out her keycard, flashing it through the computer.
"Come on, guys. Shut your mouths, and move your rears."
-The Bravura Boulevard, Halloween USA-
Since Mercy and Kaz already had costumes, courtesy of Jo-Jo, they followed behind Tom, Sarah, and Peyton commenting here, teasing there, and making an all around nuisance of themselves. The other three didn't mind, though, they simply enjoyed the company, laughing and talking.
Kaz didn't mention what Tom had done and Tom was silently grateful for it. He vowed, someday, he'd make it up to Kaz. No doubt the other boy was still hurt by what Tom had done, but for the moment he was holding that back. In the meantime, Tom expected he'd have to make his own dinner when they got back to the school.
"How about this!?" Peyton pulled a wizard's costume off the rack and showed it to his friends.
"I was thinking…this." Kaz indicated a strait jacket costume and the others hid their smiles as Peyton glowered at him.
"Oh Kaz," Mercy said innocently, "So that's where you put your jacket when you escaped the asylum!"
They all laughed at that one. Even Kaz, as he blushed crimson, sniggered a little bit.
"Hey, Peyton!" Sarah called from another aisle and the group followed her voice, "Peyton! I got the perfect thing for you!"
-Edwardian Leo-Davis Private Academy, Tom and Kaz's Room-
Tom's prediction that he'd have to make his own supper was true. As soon as they were back in their room, Kaz made a beeline for his bedroom and slammed the door shut. Tom didn't have to hear the lock click to know his best friend didn't want company. Nor did he need to hear the blaring music coming from underneath the door.
"It's true, we're all a little innnnsaaaaane. But it's so clear, now that I'm unnnnchaaaaiiiined." Of course it was Evanescence. He only cranked Evanescence when he was upset about something and was brooding in his room, "Fear is only in our minds, taking over all the time. Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the tiiiimmmmmeee."
Tom threw together a sandwich in the kitchen and brought it into his bedroom, leaving the door open a crack behind him. He wrinkled his nose as he flopped onto the bed; it still smelled like cigarettes in here.
"You poooorr, sweeeet innocent thing. Dry your eyes and testifffyyyyyyy. You know you live to break me—don't deny. Sweet sacrifice."
Well, since Kaz was pouting and he was too tired to do anything else, Tom stared at his wall and thought. He did that sometimes. Not often and not when he thought anyone would walk in on him, but he still did. It organized his thoughts. And organization was something that Tom Majors found hard to come by. Even Kaz's room was more organized than his was.
"One daaaay, I'm gonna forget yoouuurrrr naaammmeee. And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my looost paaaiiiiiiin."
So, there was the stupid decision with Krystella (who he was totally not going to the dance with anymore), and then his fight with Kaz that was not quite over yet, and then that weird sensation he'd noticed when Kaz had started shouting at him in The Ring.
Like the very air was charged with electricity and was going to catch fire at any moment. Pure, raw energy that had emitted from his friend like the light from the sun that had been shining down on them, rearing overhead as a wave does before it crashes into the shore. But Kaz had fainted before that taunt power had snapped and exploded. He'd dropped down cold as though someone had flipped an off switch in him. Well, he'd fainted before but there had never been that dark cloud of power hanging around him like there had been that morning.
"Fear is only in our minds, taking over all the time. Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the tiiiiimeeee! You poooor, sweeeeet innocent thing. Dry your eyes and testifyyyyyyy. And, oh, you love to hate me, don't you, honey! I'm you're sacrifiiiiiice!"
And Mercy had seemed on edge too though for what reason, Tom couldn't fathom. She kept a close eye on Kaz as though afraid he might faint again. Tom wondered briefly if something had happened between the two of them in the Nurse's Office. Then he shook his head with a frown. Mercy and Kaz were tight, no way anything would come between them.
Ah, Said a cold, logical voice in his mind, But something came between the two of you, didn't it?
So I messed up. Everyone does.
The voice had no reply. Tom sighed and ran a hand tiredly through his thick, black locks. What an awful day. And even though they'd been hanging out together, he'd felt it had only gotten worse.
Sarah and Peyton had pretty much ignored him all day. At least, Sarah had. Whether it was out of spite for what he'd done or just because, she had hardly sent a glance in his direction. And oddly enough it had hurt. Tom felt jealous and sick and hurt all at the same time.
Because you want her to pay attention to you. Said the obnoxious voice in his head.
Shut up. Great, now he was reprimanding himself. He must be really tired. Or Kaz was wearing off on him. Kaz talked to himself all the time, especially when he was drawing.
"Do you wonder why you haaatte? Are you still to weak to survive your misstaaaakkkees?"
Tom kicked off his clothes and dove under the blankets before the cold, October night air could sting him. Heating didn't always extend into the bedrooms, especially when you had your door closed all day. Kaz kept his open all the time so it was a toaster over in there; not to mention the boy slept under mountains of blankets in the cold weather.
Tom yawned as he switched off his bedside lamp and closed his eyes. The thrum of Kaz's music swirled in his head. He pulled the covers over his ears and buried himself in his pillow.
"You poooor, sweeeeeet innocent thing. Dry your eyes and testiffyyyyyy. You know you live to break me—don't deny. Sweet sacrifiiiiiccceee!"
And then he was asleep.
-Somewhere…-
He snarled in anger, grabbing a steel filing cabinet in his large hands and throwing it to the hard floor with a resounding clang. Papers spewed everywhere like a fountain of white. Then, just for good measure and because he was so angry, he blew them up.
Ash and smoldering bits drifted down to rest on the mess he'd made of the place.
Oh, was he pissed.
After all that trouble to get here and now he could go no further. Unintelligible words that were no doubt the worst curses he could muster flew past his lips as he stomped through the wreckage. He could quit now and it would make no difference in the end.
But no…
He wanted it.
He had to have it.
And to get it…
He reached the other side and stared at the blank wall with narrowed eyes. Stupid, infuriating wall. He'd slashed at it, shot at it, blown up things on it, and had come very close to ordering a vehicle smashed through it before his head had cooled.
There was only one way to get what he wanted and there were several walls in his way. This wall was just one of them. And this place…this place had become like a prison. He could not go forward but nor could he turn back.
People were counting on him.
He allowed a dark smile to lift the corners of his wide lips and show a glint of jagged teeth.
He was close. So close.
All he needed was some more time…
Translations: Vita Dictata – Life Lessons, Procul termanis of Orbis Terrarum – At the End of the World, Respiro – Breathe Again
O.O I wonder what that little tid-bit at the end was? Hmmm, I do wonder. Can you guess? Hee, hee, hee. Virtual cookies for people who guess who that was, where they were, and what they were trying to do. And you! Yeah, you who already knows the plot! Don't you dare say anything! I know where you live! (squinty-eyed glare)
In any case, I got hit with a bad case of Writer's Block working on this chapter and that's why it sucks so bad in the middle. Not to mention I've been pretty busy these last couple of days. I had two performances for the school play one night and didn't get home until, like, twelve at night (but only after I'd almost gotten my head cleaved in two by a wooden beam and almost fainting, ha, ha). The next day I had a Band Festival and then Prom and I didn't get home until two. Man, I was exhausted.
Thanks for being patient, guys. And not badgering me about updating. Means a lot. Thank you so much.
So thank you all so much for reading! Please keep up! The good stuff's coming!
Kaz: And this stuff isn't good?
What're you doing here!? Quit that! You keep sneaking into my A/N's! I'm gonna—gosh darn it, I hope your toilets get plugged!
Kaz:……You're insane.
Yes I am! Aaaaaanyway, thank you for reading, please keep doing so, and please keep reviewing! Reviews magically spawn more chapters (I wish) and teach Rarran a thing or two about locking up my chapters! Ha!
