Author's Note:

thank you so much for your reviews everyone and I hope you liked this chapter. Please keep them coming, they make me want to write more. I made a major decision on this yesterday with the help of Alex of course, now, there's just another huge decision that I need to make and I think I have made it but I'm not sure if any of you will be very happy with it. We'll see.

Ok, it's summer and I'm a nutcase so listen to this one. If you've listened to the Katy Perry song :Waking Up In Vegas. For some reason all I can see is the two of them after not speaking being totally wasted at twenty-one and stumbling into one of the chapels. Maybe I'll make it a one-shot ;) we'll see. It's as bad as the other two ideas in my head. I'm crazy, it's a fact. :D I won't deny it.

Manda


It had been four days since the captain's untimely death and Ruby's accidental over dose. Four days that they'd been back on speaking terms. It was an unexpected turn of events, something that Blair was less then pleased about to say the least. But Nate found a comfort in Vanessa that he couldn't find in Blair. He also knew that when it came to Ruby being out of commission and not allowed to do much Vanessa was going to have a hard time keeping her in bed and away from the liquor cabinet. It was Nate's excuse to get as far away from the East Side as he could. Away from family members he wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with. Vanessa was his escape, taking care of her and Ruby would be exactly what he needed to get away for a while.

Nate didn't even bother to knock on the door as he twisted the knob and stepped into the apartment. The apartment was next to spotless which only meant one thing; Vanessa was nerved up about something. That was the time Vanessa cleaned the best, she put everything in perfect order just to get her mind off of things. Reaching down he picked up her keys off of the floor that had to have fallen off the desk. Giving her one less thing to do was the least thing he could do. Standing back up he saw her, sound asleep on the couch covered by just a fleece blanket, the blanket she always seemed to attach herself to. He took in the sight of her for a few moments. Taking quiet steps over to her he sat down on the side of the couch and pulled the blanket up around her better. As his hand brushed her back he smiled to himself, he still felt the zing of electricity. One he couldn't figure out why he didn't feel when he touched Blair. It wasn't the way things were supposed to be. He was supposed to feel it all with Blair, she was the one grandfather approved of. Family was important; holding onto family had been what his mother needed most. Not getting on his grandfather's bad side was also important; he's seen that one first hand with what William had done to his father. He had to stay with Blair, even if it was only comfortable. People lived with only comfortable all the time; he didn't need any more than that in life. Blair would be just fine. It would have been a lot easier if he hadn't ever met Vanessa. Who needed love though? Love only hurt people; it wasn't good for anything else. He reflected on the ways he and Vanessa had already hurt one another after a tryst with love. Yet Nate couldn't resist himself anyway as he leaned down and pressed his lips to the back of Vanessa's head.

The small connection of his lips to her made him want more, made him remember just what it felt like every time they touched. The electricity, the passion, the adoration and belief in love, everything had once been there. It was a good thing she was laying on her stomach, he wasn't able to kiss her perfect lips. There wasn't a way for him to get carried away and wake her up with the way she was asleep now. Memories flashed threw his mind of waking her up in the mornings or of waking up beside her in the mornings. Unlike Blair she wasn't ever afraid of him looking at her with no makeup or frizzy hair. That was one of Nate's favorite things about her, Vanessa was completely real and she didn't try to hide it. She didn't hide anything from him. The only person who told him the truth was the one person he'd dismissed to the curb without a second thought. If you really loved someone there were sacrifices that needed to be made, letting a person go was one of them. If things would be better in the long run it was what he'd had to do. So he'd decided that letting her go was for the best, turning back into his old self was the only way to protect her from the family. Blair was already the Stepford wife type that would have fit in just fine.

Listening to her even breathing as he sat with his hand on her back he watched her sleep and listened to her heart beating even beats, the beats that at one point in time he used to fall asleep at night. He could have stayed lost in listening to her all day long if he hadn't come there for other reasons other than checking up on Vanessa. Bending down again he rested his cheek against the back of her head for a moment longer before standing up to leave the living room. There was only one bedroom in the small apartment so it wasn't all that hard to find the one he was actually looking for. He'd easily take the shared responsibility of taking care of Ruby so that Vanessa didn't have to do everything herself. Nate knew very well that Ruby wouldn't be one to listen to doctor's orders so easily. She'd be up and driving Vanessa crazy soon as she could stand up on her own two feet.

Soon as he got into the doorway of the bedroom a little thing wound around his ankles purring up a storm as it did so. That had to have been an addition brought on by Ruby, Vanessa wasn't crazy about cats. She'd of been a puppy person had animals even been allowed in the apartment as it was. Bending down in the doorway he pet the small thing that purred louder liking the attention and who it was being given by. It wasn't only people that fell all over him. Everything with a half of brain liked Nate without a question, till he doubled crossed them of course.

"Well pretty boy, why are you here? I know I didn't knock my head out that bad. They pumped my stomach not my brain. Why is my sister hanging around with the shitty looks of you again? She doesn't need whatever your paying her."

Everyone liked Nate other then Ruby that was. Their personalities clashed like night and day and it was something nether of them would ever get over. They were far too different for their own goods. Yet they had one thing in common, one thing it seemed neither one admitted very often or very freely, they both loved Vanessa. Most of the time at least, when they both weren't being to full of themselves to admit it, which was depending on days and moods when it came to the two, poor Vanessa was the one person hurt by it.

"Nice to see you too Ruby"

He leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed across his blue shirt that showed the sapphire in his eyes. Something she wouldn't notice, of course Nate's charms didn't work on her.

"I'm here because your sister needs sleep, you've drained her of energy Ruby. She does everything she possibly can to keep you alive, you're all she really has Ruby. You mean everything to her and she can't handle it anymore. I've never seen Vanessa seem so run down."

Picking up a cigarette from beside her Ruby lit it and blew the smoke at the ceiling above her as Nate watched on and lectured from the doorway. Of course he wasn't going to get through to her, why he was even trying was beyond him. Nate never was the one to exactly have all the brain cells he should have had. At times even he knew it.

"All I've done to her to make her run down? Buddy, if anyone needs to look in the mirror here it's you. My sister is a total mess, tired, sick, and it's all because of you. You know, she got into NYU Nate, she got in and she's considering not going because she still has your mess to clean up. You knoc…"

Nether one of them had even heard Vanessa till she was already in the room standing between the two of them glaring at Ruby. Nate stood back confused and stunned, he'd deserved all of Ruby's yelling, why Vanessa had stopped her he wasn't all that sure.

"You have no right"

She raised her sleep filled voice her eyes still locked with her sister's, her hands still on her hips as she attempted to calm herself. Nate hadn't ever seen her so in raged before. He took a step forward placing both of his hands on her torso in attempt to calm her down like he'd done so many times in the past. It only made her clam up more he noticed and right away dropped his hands back to his side as she spun around then to look at him, the same cold glare still in her eye.

"And you! Why the hell are you even here?"

Her voice was still and cold he noticed as he took a step back away from her. He didn't really have an explination for it since they both knew that she wouldn't have handled him checking up on her very well. She didn't like to be babysat, anyone who knew Vanessa knew that. But he had to see her, she made him relax and that's what he'd needed. He'd needed her to make him feel better.

"You can't just come here whenever you feel like it anymore Nate, you lost that one. I don't need anyone checking up on me. I'm fine. The both of you just need to lay off."

Ruby clearing her throat made them both snap out of the locked eyes they had as Ruby's cigarette smoke finally filled Vanessa's lungs and she coughed once and covered her mouth. How many times did she have to lecture her sister on the matter, she gave up, that was it, she was doomed. She shook her head at Ruby and Ruby shrugged her shoulders.

"Then you two get out of my room"

As she said it Vanessa had no doubt in the matter that Ruby's words didn't pertain to Nate leaving the room. It wasn't like the cigarette would have any effect on him. Vanessa sneered at Ruby as she grabbed Nate's hand to drag him out of the room. Soon as they were out of the room Nate had somehow spun it so that her back was pressed up against the wall and his arms were against the wall on either side of her head. With him as close as he was she almost had trouble breathing, she'd missed it. Even sleeping in the same bed as him the other night hadn't felt quite like this had. his body almost pressed right up against her made her thing of the night with the black mask when he'd pinned her up against the door only to slowly slip the black trench coat from her body and… she was losing control of thoughts as his perfect blue eyes looked at her. Everything was forgotten as he leaned in to her, she could feel his warm breath on her neck as her eyes involuntarily shut.

"Why didn't you tell me you got in?"

The door to the apartment shutting in back of him made her eyes snap open and in a reflex she put both hands against his chest and pushed him away from her before even seeing who'd walked in the door. What she hadn't noticed till after he was back from her was that devil cat was right beside her ankle and decided to take more anger and aggression out on her as it lifted its paw and once again slashed her. The cat taking things out on her was something she was beginning to get used to. she made a note not to wear pajama shorts around it anymore. She didn't even flinch this time. What did make her flinch was Scott's voice as soon as he opened his mouth.

"What's going on in here?"

He eyed her as he looked back and forth between Nate and Vanessa. Vanessa bit her lip and closed her eyes shaking her head. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep and not deal with anyone. It sounded so tempting.

"Nothing, Nate was just leaving"

Vanessa ran a hand through her hair as Scott walked over to her and kissed her, she could taste the spite in his kiss as he did so and it made her anger build up more as she pulled away only to see Nate's hurt expression and it made her hurt worse. Biting her tongue to get the anger to go away she looked at Scott expressionless for a second before glancing at Nate only to find his back already turned to her.

"I'll um… just, please come to my father's funeral. I kind of need you there"

Nate said dejectedly as he shut the door behind him. Vanessa felt the tears involuntarily build up as she refused to look at Scott and turned to the bathroom rushing in and slamming the door behind her not faltering to lock it behind her. She rushed to the shower and turned on the water needed the sound of it hitting down on the cold tile to calm her. Why did everything have to be so hard.


She refused to pick up his calls, he'd been trying to get in touch with her all day and he'd gotten nothing yet. She hadn't been herself in a few days, sleeping constantly and not picking up the phone for anything. he'd even resorted to calling Scott to see if maybe he was with her and they were just to preoccupied to pick up the phone. That had turned up a negative as well. The only thing that had resulted in was Scott coming to his apartment and playing video games with Jenny, just one more thing that Dan had to worry about. The last thing he needed was Vanessa and Jenny to fight over another guy. One had been more then plenty to last one life time. It just meant that Dan would have to keep an eye on Scott a little closer, if he seemed to be eyeing Jenny at all Dan would have to put a stop to him being in the city, yea, as if that would have ever happened. All of that was secondary, secondary to finding out what the hell was going on with his best friend. She hadn't been herself in months. She hadn't been herself since Nate had put an end to things. It wasn't his Vanessa to fall to pieces when a guy bailed on her. He was next to positive she hadn't done this to herself when they'd faltered in their almost relationship.

The subway had been a short ride over, less crowded in the afternoon then it usually was. Dan wasn't about to complain about it, he liked the peace and quiet. With prom coming up in just a few weeks he had a lot to think about, taking Serena as a friend was just a starter. The fact that he'd declined from Yale and was going to go to NYU was another bit, and his father's newest depression over his and Lilly's relationship was the last. The later one was the one he'd liked to have thought about the least. It was awkward to know that he'd lost his own virginity to his could have been step sister, whom he'd nearly shared a sibling with. All of that was more than unmoral and Dan was lucky he didn't need any type of therapy for it. The harder he thought about the more he thought that maybe a shrink really wouldn't have been all that bad of an idea. Then again he'd probably make them retire with all of his issues. The life of Daniel Humphrey was not the most easy life of all.

His foot hitting the pavement of the sidewalk made him look up to her apartment building. He began to think of what it all would have been like if she hadn't come back to the city. He would have had next to no one to confined in. pouting to himself the slam of a car door made him turn his head out of curiosity. Seeing the black shiny limo beside him was what made him stop. He couldn't think of anyone who would have been in Brooklyn in front of Vanessa's apartment with a limo, unless Blair was harassing her for some unknown reason. When the driver shut the door behind the passenger that had been riding in it Dan felt the confusion and slight anger flair to his face. Why the hell Chuck Bass would have been visiting Vanessa was beyond him. Vanessa couldn't and wouldn't have done all the way over to the dark side. She wasn't the type of person to do that. On the other hand, that would have been a good enough reason for her not speaking to him. He would have given her a bad time and he wouldn't have denied that for a single second.

"Humphrey take a photo, it would last longer than the stupid look on your face. I don't want to know any of the sick fantasies in your head. I'm really not interested in that."

Dan sneered at Chuck's slimy sounding voice as he folded his arms and glared at him. Chuck hated it when Dan was anywhere the Upper East Side so Dan had every right to do the same when it came to Brooklyn. Not to mention it seemed like his best friend needed to be saved before she made any further mistakes from anyone from the other side. Namely Chuck who's off again on with Blair could have close to have gotten Vanessa killed if she tried to come between that messed up relationship. He wasn't about to sit around and allow his best friend to self-destruct anymore then she already seemed to be doing.

"What do you think you're doing? Vanessa doesn't need you interfering in her life. She's not one of your games Chuck, just go back to wherever you came from and leave her alone. She doesn't need anyone else playing games with her, it's been more than enough lately."

Looking like they were squaring off on the sidewalk Chuck looked at Dan amused, he wasn't there to play games either. He was just there to… check on her. He wasn't sure why but knowing what he knew he felt responsible for her in a way, Chuck Bass never really felt responsible for anyone. But with the way both Nate and Blair were acting lately he knew that someone needed to look out for Vanessa. He hated the thought of caring about anyone still though, he'd just have to act like an ass and hide it from her.

"Don't worry Humphrey I'm just dropping by some stuff for them, they can't live off of Chicken soup, that's not going to get anyone anywhere now is it?"

Giving Chuck a look that said what the hell he began to turn away from him and head to the door of Vanessa's apartment. The last thing he wanted to see was his best friend break anymore at the hand of a UESer. She'd had more then enough, even two months after her breakup with Nate she still wasn't herself and it wasn't something Dan could even begin to figure out why.

"She and Ruby don't need your charity, Vanessa does just fine on her own. She doesn't need anything you're trying to give her Chuck, so why don't you just leave now"

Chuck was still finding it all amusing as he let out another light cackle, it only infuriated Dan more as they both stood there, Dan's hand on the buzzer.

"Oh Daniel, I didn't mean Ruby, though I wouldn't mind sitting in with her and her girlfriend. Now that you mention it I wonder how much it would cost to add one more into their bed for a night, after they're tested of course. No, what I was talking about was Vanessa and that Child she's carrying. If Nate's not around to step up someone needs to."

He watched as Dan's mouth fell open in shock and he knew that Vanessa wasn't going to be happy with him but in his mind he knew that she needed someone else to watch out for her and once the shock wore off of Dan's face he'd of been just the person to do it. The best friend was one of the people that knew you better then anyone else. At least in his opinion that was true. Even if Humphrey was, well, Humphrey he was still one of the best people to take care of Vanessa no matter how stubborn she was.

"Pregnant? Vanessa… pr...No"

Dan hesitated, his best friend would have told him, she didn't keep secrets that big from him, she wouldn't have, and she couldn't have. But she was, all the signs showed it. He couldn't figure out why he hadn't seen it before. He was suddenly furious with her, he was supposed to be the person she could confine in and she was using people like Chuck. Dan clenched his fists and turned away, all of it was not something he was about to deal with right now.

"Cool off, but, she needs you Dan"

He heard Chuck call behind him as he walked away as fast as he could just waiting for his explosion of rage.


Even before he'd opened the door to his room he'd known half of what to expect. When Jane wouldn't even look at him he'd known exactly what that meant. Not that he could blame her, she'd gone from hearing 'Jane come on, don't you have a life outside of these walls? Go out and have some fun… the Archibald in the house is man enough to take care of himself' to hearing 'whatever your name is, we need champagne and lunch, sushi is preferred, and hurry up on it'. Had Nate been in the position Jane was in he was sure he'd of felt the same way. The way things were would stand, Blair loved him, he'd just have to remember that every time he felt like he needed to touch Vanessa to feel the electricity. All Nate needed to do was to keep reminding himself that he and Blair were all that they needed to be. He'd learn that he loved her just as much as he could love Vanessa. it was what was best for everyone involved. That's just what he had to tell himself. He told himself that and took another breath before putting his thoughts back together as he twisted the door handle to his bedroom and pushed it open waiting for her condolences and worries over his father's death, things that he really didn't want to have to deal with but knew he would have to.

"Well Nate, it's about time. Where have you been? Out with Tripp? Or maybe picking up things for your mother? How about with Chuck for the day, what's your story this time? I'm sure it'll be a good one, just like it always is."

Her eyes narrowed at him as his usually confused look spread across his face as he looked back at her and shut the door behind him. Angry Blair wasn't what he felt like dealing with, she wasn't ever the least bit suddle when she wasn't happy. He should have expected it coming sometime lately, at least it was better than her asking him how he was feeling and coping every fifteen seconds. That much was at least relieving to him.

"If there's one thing I've learned it's that I will never wear one of your school sport sweatshirts. Picture that gossip girl snapped she looks like she's gained a little bit of weight since your breakup. You really did a job on her didn't you Nate"

Nate clenched his jaw reminding himself of the rules, whatever Blair said was right. The risk of pissing her off was more then he felt like dealing with. He'd had enough to put up with lately; he really didn't feel like putting up with Blair's complaining. Had he been smarter he would have just stayed the day in Williamsburg with Vanessa. He could have found a way to drive her into letting him keep her company and take care of Ruby. Even if they were working on being friends Nate was sure he could still get Vanessa to cave if he wanted to, even without a persuasion of kisses that he'd of used in the past.

"Are you even hearing a thing I'm saying?"

Blair barked out at him and he realized that he'd zoned out and gotten lost in his thoughts. He was defiantly in for hell for the night. It wasn't exactly the way he wanted to spend the night before his father's funeral. He'd of much rather been alone to go to sleep and escape for a while. Taken some time to himself to forget his life. It would have been time without the pressures of family or how much he disappointed people.

"Can we please just not do this tonight Blair? I believe there are still preparations for my father's funeral to go over with my mother. Can our fight over whatever it's about this time wait till after the memorial tomorrow?"

He made a weak attempt to pleas as he walked past her to his draws in attempt to find something cooler to change into, maybe even a little bit of the rolled pot that had sat in his draw for months now. anything to get rid of Blair's complaining voice, his father's death, and the guy who'd kissed Vanessa. for someone who supposedly had life so simple things seemed to be pretty damn complicated. He couldn't think of anything he wouldn't have given to have been still beside Vanessa away from the craziness of the East Side.

"The pictures were all over Gossip girl Nate. Vanessa was with you the other night when your father died. You took her home! You know you could have called me! Not made a fool out of me by parading around with some low rent whore."

Nate slammed his draw shut causing them both to jump at the sound. Blair hadn't expected his anger and Nate hadn't expected it to be that loud. Nate had had a bad enough day and Blair's words were just adding icing to the cake. He couldn't contain his anger he'd held in enough. Had he been on speaking terms it would have been a night to get wasted out of his mind with Chuck. With Blair and the whole apartment thing they weren't exactly friends currently.

"This really isn't worth it. You know what Blair, this isn't working and I can't do this. It's not fair to you or myself. I just don't think we should be trying this."

As he said it he watched the angry fire burn in Blair's eyes. They both weren't into it, they shouldn't have even been surprised on the matters that were it hand. As much as they pretended to be neither one of them were into the relationship like they should have been, they couldn't just fake it anymore.

"What are you sa…"

Blair started to protest as Nate's bedroom door opened and Anne stood there not quite red eyed but more ready for business then anything else.

"Blair! Sweetheart it's great to see you. Are you staying with us tonight? I'm sure Nate will really appreciate it as would myself. You know, there's still room in the limo wit us tomorrow. My father said it would be a great idea if you'd take it with us."

Anne's smile made Nate sneer, there they were trying to put their relationship to an end and his family was interfering and trying to make him do what they wanted. Of course Nate was going to go along with it. He didn't have much else of a choice. No one wanted to make Anne feel any worse not that anyone could tell that she felt bad to begin with. Nate just didn't feel like dealing with any lectures from her.


Izzy! – Good I'm glad it makes it better. That's what I'd been aiming for in the beginning I had just forgotten to incorporate it. And I love what you said about kids repeating the things that adults say and do because Elle is the type to say what's on her mind. You'll see that even more so next chapter.

Yea, I think it was a between the line incorporation, nothing very important. Scott's not one I really care about. Lol he's just a stepping stone in my opinion. But he's a big part I guess I'll have to say.

Ruby's a pain in the butt, and she might not say it or show it but she loves her sister… I think at least. She's reckless and in trouble, more trouble than anyone knows. Vanessa might get caught in the cross fire. Poor Nate is finally getting what he deserves after the way he's treated Vanessa. as much as I hate to say it.

Blair… akfhakfja sorry, I just have a hard time when it comes to her. She drives me up the walls.

Lol well then, crack addicts shall get what they need by the end of the week. I worked on it yesterday!

Christinamarie712 – maybe she is maybe she isn't o.O Vanessa's due date is in December, well, saying that she's decided on having the baby. Natie's sad, but, he needed something to make him himself again. Well now that Vanessa's in a relationship with Scott and Nate's still with Blair, or sorta I don't know how well a relationship will work. Scott's not a big fan of Nate… and well, Nate has anger management issues.

Jen – Nate needed a part in it as well, since, he does play a major factor in Vanessa's life even if he doesn't know it just yet. Nate needs to shape up. I'm not really Blair's biggest fan so I'm sorry if she's at a minimum she's just not one of the greatest to me.

Ok darling here goes, Alex- the beginning of your review is so sweet, thank you so much! Screen writing is what I plan on doing but the novel is something that if I could get my mind to be only centered on it it would be done by now. I'm too stubborn for that and I like doing this more then writing it. Empathy is a very strong emotion, maybe now I need to work on some of the others. Hmm

Lol as for your dream, that had to have been amusing :P sorry about that one.

When I started I liked Scott, I really genuinely liked the idea of Scott and him himself. But, with Nate back Scott annoys me. I guess it's just far too easy for me to fall in love with Nate when he's not being an ass. Scott just has a hard time, knowing what we know on who Scott is he doesn't think the child should be born if it's not really wanted. But that all will come out and everyone will see exactly why.

Yes! CV was easy because they didn't have feelings attached, they were simple and they were both an escape. With Scott she's supposed to be developing feelings and she's not sure she's ready to. she's not over Nate, and hell, she's carrying his child. it's not going to be that easy for her to switch it all off. Besides, Nate isn't going to like Scott very much regardless of who he is.

That's because there's so much NV that happened that they negelected to show us. You know, just like how I think that Anne first met Vanessa coming out of her son's bathroom wrapped in a towel after a shower. ;) Anne's not going to forget that one. But it's true, he's even said that he can breathe around her so it was needed, he loves her he's just stubborn. Yet when he's second in something he hates it. Let's just hope baby's not like him.

The haters know nothing, they're just pains. She's more passionate about things then most and that's what makes her real. No one wants to think of that for some reason, who knows what it is. I can see Nate sitting with V at the hospital after Ruby's been admitted for alcohol poising monthly. Nate's gonna wake up one of these days and remember that it's Vanessa he loves and he really screwed her over.

Yay! Finally a way to redeem Nate and make him our lovable Fitz again. I'm working at it and it's going to take some time. They're friends but there's the temptation of passion there that's hard for anyone to let go of, maybe they'll be able to handle it and maybe they won't and for Nate and the baby… I'll tell you that it's coming up… very very very soon. Someone else finding out also, someone that might not be a very pleasant thing.

V&N as friends is a trial thing, we'll see how long that works for. Scott has secrets that V's going to be a little bit upset about. B, well, she's B… of course she wasn't very happy with it. She wants to be with Chuck anyway. V on the other hand, we'll see if she's even speaking to chuck after this.

and as I've said a million times I love your reviews, everyone's reviews, responding to them gives me more ideas. Just like the one that popped into my head randomly this morning, poor poor V.

so next chapter is a big big chapter, but that's all I'll tell you.

Love, me

THank you everyone! remember to leave your reviews!