Please read!
Okay guys, I have concluded my typical method is not working these days. Usually I like to be one or two chapters ahead of the posts on here so I always have something to fall back on and hand to you guys should I ever lose my mind. Well, mind has gone, it's been about two months now since I've actually wrote a chapter in its entirety on this story and on my Bruised story. I thought I would get it back but it's just not happening so, maybe this new panic I have now of having nothing left in my 'to post' file will kick me into writing mode. Here's to hoping!
I do have to let you guys in on a secret though, I haven't been completely lazy and useless. I have been writing, just not on my two WIP's. I've been working on a new story idea I got last year and I think it's going well so far. I haven't had much inspiration for anything besides it so while I do I might as well crack on with that right? I hope I'm right lol. I vowed to myself I wouldn't start posting though until at least one of my incomplete stories is finished. Oh and reading Chimera by Rob Thurman, amazing book! I highly recommend it! Lots of brotherly love and action!
Badass Beta/Awesome Editor- Samanatha V
Fix Me
"Dad?"
They heard the door being opened but obviously John didn't wait to be invited in. Shit, he looked pissed.
"John, slow down. What the-"
"Dean," John's voice was low, he spoke his son's name in a warning tone and his expression wasn't any prettier.
"Dad? What the hell are you doing here?" Dean didn't know whether to be pissed himself or run over and give dad the biggest damn hug for still being alive- he smiled with relief either way.
"I could ask you the same damn question." John gave his eldest a look of betrayal and slight disgust.
"Dad wha-" The smile dissipated and he felt five years old again, being grounded for two whole weeks when everyone- including his father- thought he had broken Mrs. Jones' favourite vase.
"Pack your shit up, we're leaving, come on Sammy," Wrapping his hand around Sam's wrist, John pulled the attached arm over his shoulders and lifted him from the bed in one swoop.
"Dad, put him down," Dean was pleading as he heard his brother whimper in pain at the first touch to his hot skin. Much as he wanted to, he didn't have it in him to try and yank his brother from their father's grasp, it would only cause Sam more pain.
"You need a reminder of who the father is around here?"
"Dad please, you're hurting him." Dean put his palm around his brother's shoulder and took it back, sending an apologetic look his way, the second he hissed in distress.
"He'll thank me later."
"John, put the boy down, can't ya see he's in pain? He needs help."
"Yeah, and that's what we're gonna get him, by ourselves, just like we always do."
"I can help, I got books here, we're on a lead, you just gotta give me some time you stubborn ass."
"Dad, please."
"No damn it, the last time I left my son's life in the hands of another hunter they fucking broke him!"
Sam snapped at that comment, his body might feel half way into hell's fire but he wasn't deaf. Pulling himself up with all he had, he pushed away from his father who was too shocked to stop his grip from being released. Luckily Dean was there to catch his brother and lower him back to the bed.
"Oh damn it, not again," Bobby cursed when he could see Sam's breathing had not only gone quick and shallow, but almost altogether stopped, like he was drowning in air, only he wasn't, he was just drowning in pain.
Dean tried talking Sam down but he was too rattled himself to be effective. He turned to Bobby, pleading. Not having to be told, and already having the kit close by, Bobby filled a new syringe with a higher dose of the good stuff and pushed John out of the way to get the boys.
"Try the left this time."
As commanded, Dean worked his way around his brother to hold his left arm out for Bobby to give him the shot. If this were any different, Sam would be freaking out about the needles alone right now, kid always hated them, not that Dean blamed him, Sam had been prodded and poked enough to be put off for life.
"You're okay man, go back to sleep, I'll be here." Gently, Dean nudged Sam to lay flat and started stroking his hair again.
Sam turned his wet eyes to his brother, the look in which scared Dean to his very core, it was a look of total hopelessness.
"We'll find a cure for this thing, I promise you Sammy, just hold on okay?"
Sam didn't have it in him to shake his head no, he just couldn't do that to Dean after everything- so he nodded, and closed his eyes, hoping the next time he opened them Dean would be standing over him with a cocky smile saying 'I told you so.'
"Hold on, Sammy," Dean whispered. Straightening, he turned to look at his father, all respect for him gone. "You don't touch him ever again."
John was taken aback by the look in his son's eyes, he'd only ever seen that narrow eyed glare when Dean was aiming it at supernatural sons of bitches that got too close to his little brother. He had never seen it directed at him before.
"Dean, what the hell?" His heart wanted to apologize, but it seemed his mouth was only listening to his head.
Not prepared to get into a pissing contest with his dad in the middle of Bobby's living room where Sam was trying to rest, Dean barged past both men and headed outside into the yard, unable to help himself from kicking a random rusty old truck when he got there.
"Dean!" His father was following him, but Bobby wasn't, he was watching over Sam, just like he should be right now.
"Dad, Sammy needed help."
"Then why couldn't you help him?"
"What the hell do you think I was trying to do!" Dean was angry, he blamed himself enough, he didn't need his father doing it too. "I tried everything, I had nothing left, coming here was Sammy's last hope. Dad I swear I tried, I searched everywhere, I called you and you didn't pick up."
John sighed, his kids were the strongest he knew, but there were some times when they looked like scared little boys again. "I didn't mean that, I know you'd do everything to help Sammy, but I just..."
"We didn't have any more options dad. Even if this is a bust, Sammy knows I at least tried, I didn't just let him rot in some motel room because I was too damn proud or scared of the what ifs to ask for help."
"If you two have finished your jawin'," a familiar gruff voice from inside the house yelled, cutting short their painful conversation, "I think I've got something."
SPN
"You sure this is gonna work?" If John sounded somewhat sceptical, his face practically screamed 'are you crazy' at the grizzled mechanic.
"Pretty sure, can't be certain until we try."
"Then no way, unless you're sure this is solid, you are not doing this to my kid."
Sam sighed, typical dad, always trying to hide him away, always trying to fix him when he wasn't technically broken, never willing to take risks even when the pros outweighed the cons, never accepting what's done is done.
He tapped his dad on the leg to get his attention and turned on the puppy eyes that even he would understand.
"He's asking you to trust Bobby," Dean explained when he saw the pleading look on his brother's face. "He wants to try this."
"Sammy, we've got no idea if this will work or make you even worse."
Sam scoffed. Hecouldn't breathe without it hurting. 'It can't get much worse.' John didn't need a translator for that one.
"Sammy? You alright?" Dean asked when his brothers pale face just got a shade greyer.
Sam's only answer was shivering. The veins pulsed, the angry throb impossible to ignore as its presence overwhelmed and twisted his senses, but there was something else, he could feel it, something else deep inside, something was wrong, even more wrong than before...
"What's going on?" John asked, also seeing the trembles.
"He gets these shivers sometimes, it hurts." Dean was on his right, John on the left, it struck both of them when Sam whimpered in pain.
Dean wasn't sure what happened but not long after the whimper, Sam was coughing his lungs up, sounding like he was choking, like something was stuck, or trying to get out. Sam gagged, and Bobby instantly grabbed the boy a trashcan. Sam's body continued to jerk, each retch more painful than the last until he was on all fours, his head hung over the can with Dean supporting him as best he could.
Ears ringing as his muscles spasmed, Sam's world shrank to the container in front of him, the pain in his gut and the agony of whatever was growing in him. There was a constant noise that he vaguely knew was his brother and father talking but the words made no sense. He cried out mid heave when John went to rub soothing circles on his back - that wouldn't help this time, not like it did when he was a little kid. One more gag and finally the blockage was released.
"Holy shit." Dean or his dad, Sam didn't know and didn't care, but he wished he could tell them he agreed with them.
Sweating and muscles failing, Sam couldn't hold himself up anymore and although it hurt, he was glad for his family behind him that held him up enough so he wouldn't choke on the blue sticky repulsive bile coming from who knows where and not looking like it was going to stop.
Steadying his brother as he coughed and choked as the ropy mass forced itself out, Dean winced as the blue soon enough was mixed with vivid streaks of something else, something that was Sam's and not a creation of the supernatural sickness running through him... it was blood. Gasping between heaves, he could feel Sam painfully sucking in breaths when he could which wasn't often enough as his lips were turning as blue as the fluid in the bucket. He'd never felt more helpless.
Sam was reaching his limit, his refusal to give in scraped raw. He would scream if he could.
Wanna die. Want to die. Please let me die. Please end me. Please. Kill me Dean. Kill me.
"Dad he's losing it," Sam recognized the voice but not the tone, Dean sounded worried... no, he sounded petrified, Dean was never petrified, he barely got scared.
"I know, you gotta get him to calm down. Dean, calm your brother down," came the firm order from his father.
Taking Dean's place as he shifted out from behind Sam, John took over holding all of his weight as Dean crawled around to his front. Carefully, placing his hands on either side of his brother's face, Dean forced their eyes to meet.
"Sammy, Sammy look at me, I'm not gonna leave you. I'm gonna stay right here. Huh little brother? In this together, right? I'm not gonna let you go, I'm never gonna let you go."
He was dying, he didn't know how he knew but he could feel it, feel the agonizing hell fire in his belly and he knew he was dying. Jesus, he wasn't dying before he had chance to tell Dean it wasn't his fault, who he was now, all his problems, it wasn't his big brothers fault.
"De... Dea..." The pain of trying to talk, even the weak rasp he'd managed to create, was worth it if he could just...
"Sshh, I'm right here." Dean had been hoping for so long to finally hear Sam's voice again but not like this, never like this. "Just stay with me, please Sammy promise me... hold on little brother."
Dean could see the look of despair in Sam's eyes, and prayed he was getting through to him.
"It's alright Sammy, it's alright tiger, you're okay."
As the cramping gradually eased and the vomiting finally stopped, Sam latched onto his brothers t-shirt, leaned his head to his chest and sobbed. Strong arms wrapped around him and he allowed himself to sink into the comfort and the warmth coming from his brother and father.
"Bobby?" John's voice was rough with emotion. "Let's get this over with."
Dean was more shocked than anyone to hear his father utter those words, it only took Sammy retching up everything in him to get him to see how desperate they were.
Bobby didn't need any orders from John Winchester as he'd already hastily assembled and put in place the things needed for the ritual when he saw the horrific sickness that came over Sam.
"We need blood," he announced knowing neither Winchester would like that.
"Whose?" Dean raised his head to meet Bobby in the eye.
"Either you or your daddy's. Couple of drops should do."
Both father and son drew the offered blade across their palms and squeezed their fists tight, blood droplets hitting the mangy looking bowl Bobby had shoved under their hands.
It was certainly more than a few drops when Bobby finally took the bowl away, but none of them said anything as they both compressed their cuts with whatever they had in their pockets.
"What's next?" Frustrated, Dean looked between the other two hunters not missing the odd look that passed between them.
"I mix this disgusting concoction and Sam drinks it."
Bobby got to work leaving the other three to catch up. God knows it looked like they needed to, and when this was all over, he was going to tear John a new one for leaving his boys alone, they clearly weren't doing too good with that arrangement.
These kids needed a break already.
TBC...
