Thanks: Once again thanks to this who reviewed: starangel2106, Athenakitty, HecateDeMort, Thirteen Ravens, Gormam99, The Lady Quotes.
Notes: Nope. I'm not close to the end for those who have asked. This fic will be a long one.
I'm sorry it has taken as long as it has to get this chapter out. I had it done two weeks ago, but it took until tonight for it to be fully beta. Luckily, this chapter is a long one. I hope you all enjoy.
Harry had wakened for once looking forward to his day, though he knew it would be a tough one. Even the nightmares that pledged him, weren't bothering Harry much this morning, but that could be because none of them had contained Sirius or a veil as they usually did.
This day, he would be saying his final good byes before going into 'hiding.' It wasn't a task he wanted to do, but at least he'd be seeing everyone for one last time as himself; something that before yesterday had seemed unlikely. After Harry had complained and said it was unfair that he'd disappear without a word, Dumbledore had given him two proposals; he could either spend the day at Hogwarts and say good bye to whichever visitors could make it that day-- Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley and maybe Lupin he figured-- or he could go to Grimmauld Place and say good bye to the whole group. There was going to be an Order meeting this afternoon so most of the people he wanted to see were guaranteed to be there. Harry knew facing his demons involving Sirius' death would be worth that guarantee.
So he got up, quickly put on his clothes and sat on the edge of his bed, waiting for Snape to appear. He hoped it would be soon. The man had some fixation on Harry not wandering off into places he didn't belong and knowing where Harry was at all times. Harry hated being treated like a child but, even more, he hated that he was confined to such a small area of the house. It wasn't even the living quarters. Those, he guessed, were on the second or third level and Harry had been banned from that area. Harry currently resided in a makeshift bedroom that was only a bit better then his old cupboard. Harry would have resented it if Snape himself didn't also live in this area, one door down and a short distance from what Harry learned was the house's private lab. That was probably the reason behind Snape staying in this area.
A short while later, Harry heard the knock on the door. Silently he followed Snape back to the kitchen where they ate a small breakfast of toast and juice.
"Am I ever going to see any rooms besides the kitchen and that place we call my bedroom?"
Snape glared. "Yes, you may see the sitting room, a place you seem to have forgot you've already been in and from there you will floo to Grimmauld Place. I will follow you a short time later. You are not to tell anyone you have been or will be here. You are not to bring up our… association at all. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Harry grumbled.
"While there, Dumbledore wishes to meet with you and finish the conversation from yesterday."
"All right," Harry said, brushing the crumbs off his fingers and getting up. "I'll go now."
Harry had started to walk out the door when Snape hissed," What did I tell you about wandering off on your own?"
Harry turned and frowned. "Look, I'm only walking two rooms over. I'm not going to get into any trouble between here and there. I swear, I won't go up stairs." Snape remained silent so Harry went on, "You can't watch my every move the next month and a half."
Snape was staring at him with a cold hard expression. Harry knew he was angry and he didn't really understand why. Snape seemed to hate this house, as anyone who saw the lack of up keep could tell, yet was protective of it all the same.
"Just go," he spat.
Harry figured it could have been a lot worse.
It had been months since Harry had stepped foot inside Grimmauld Place and though it was bustling with more activity than ever before, it felt empty to Harry. He had never been here without Sirius lurking somewhere within it's confines. Even if Sirius was locked up in his mother's old room, he knew he was there and would be there for him. Harry had been dreadfully wrong.
"Harry!" came a voice from above.
Harry looked up to see Ginny Weasley hanging over the banister at the top of the stairs, smiling and waving to him.
"Harry's here," she yelled to someone behind her and took off down the stairs. A small group of redheads came tumbling down as well.
"At last you have returned to this lovely abode!" Fred laughed, palms raised, gesturing about.
"Just for the day," Harry answered with a sad bitter smile.
"Well come then," George grabbed onto Harry's shoulder. "That doesn't leave much time for what we have in mind!"
"We have loads to tell you too!" grinned his twin, Fred.
"I-"
"Harry's not going to waste his time with that," Hermione Granger interrupted Harry's decline in a way only she could and statred pulling him in the opposite direction. "We have a bunch of important things to talk about with him, don't we Ron?"
"Yes! Did you hear about the new move-"
Hermione, who was frustrated, sighed. "Not Quidditch Ron, really." She rolled her eyes. "Come Harry," Hermione said, pulling him once again towards the kitchen. "Ron?"
The tall redhead started following closely behind. All the while Harry could hear the twins talking about or more exactly mocking Hermione.
"She took our Harry away, Ginny, did you see that?"
"Yes, she did," the other twin, who Harry thought might be Fred tisked. "Most impolite girl I ever met. And you would think her and little Ronnikins would want some privacy!"
Ginny laughed. "It's Harry I'm worried about. Wait until he hears."
"Hears what?" Harry demanded, his mind spinning with three conversations at once.
The door to the kitchen swung shut before Harry could listen the information he so desperately wanted to hear. Whatever is was, it was met with shrieks of laugher and one of the twin yelling, "He's done in for!"
"Doomed!" the other said.
A very unhappy looking Hermione put a two way silencing and locking charm on the room and Ron seemed to be blushing, hiding his face in his hands. "Why me," he muttered.
"Babies," Hermione grunted.
"What on earth is happening?" Harry asked confused.
"You really are oblivious Harry, but for once I'm glad because we wanted to tell you on our own." Harry bit his lip nervously as Hermione went on, "We brought you in here to tell you something important. Right Ron?" The redhead remained mute until Hermione called out again, "Ron!"
"Right, fine, yeah. We're here to tell him. Let's just do it already."
"It must be something," Harry chuckled. "I've haven't seen you this pink since we had to find dates for the Yale ball."
When Ron hide his face in his hands again, Harry suddenly felt sorry for the comment.
"I don't know why you just had to drag him in here and tell him right away," Ron whined to Hermione.
"Because we've waited long enough. You said we couldn't tell anyone until Harry knew."
'That's because I didn't want them to know either."
Hermione glared. "If you've changed you mind, say now Ronald Weasley."
"No, no. Just get on with it," he repeated miserably.
Hermione took a deep breath. Harry thought she looked oddly faint and Ron looked as if he was about to announce his demise.
"Well, the thing is Harry; Ron and I are dating." Hermione said this fast as if the quicker she got it out, the less painful it would be.
Harry smiled brightly. He didn't know why they were both being so serious, he was thrilled for his friends. "It's about time," he replied cheerfully. It was cliché to say, but also beyond true.
"You don't mind?" she questioned with astonishment.
"I told you he wouldn't," Ron told her, satisfaction evident in his voice and the blush nearly gone.
"And I really don't. I'm glad." Harry tipped his chair back. He felt like propping his feet onto the table smugly. He was proud of his friends for finally taking the step they had been waiting to make since fourth year.
"Well, we-"
"You, Ron corrected her.
"Okay, fine, I was worried you'd… I don't know, feel left out."
Harry dropped his seat back onto it's four legs and raised his hand to interrupt, but she went on, "I thought you'd be… jealous that we'd be spending time alone and want-"
"I'm not," Harry said quickly. "Snog all you want. I have no interest in joining you."
Hermione blushed and looked shocked, while Ron wrinkled his nose in disgust. "That's just plain wrong, mate."
Harry laughed. "Would you rather I did? Anyway, I said it was okay. I don't expect us to be together all the time. Actually, I think this is for the better. I have something I need to tell you myself."
"What, Harry?" they both asked earnestly.
Harry's heart was pounding. He didn't know how they'd take this. Something told him, it wouldn't go as well as their news did. He followed Hermione's example and took a deep breath. "I'm not going back to Hogwarts this fall."
"Don't be ridiculous," Hermione shrieked. "What about class? Your education? The NEWTS are only two years away!'
"I'll still be studying, just not attending Hogwarts."
Ron appeared shaken and miserable. "Look, mate, if this is about us dating, we'll break up."
"No," he said forcefully and glanced back and forth between the two hurt faces. "Dumbledore just thinks this is for the better. I'll be able to focus on things I need to learn better this way."
Hermione looked doubtful. 'But your safer at Hogwarts," she said. "With everything that's happening I'd think that would be his first concern."
"Safety is the first concern, Hermione. Hogwarts is safer without me there and you know it." Even though Harry would be there this fall it hurt to say so because he knew it to be true. Other students didn't drag their fellow classmates into a trap with Death Eaters.
Hermione gapped and had her hands on her waist in a way reminiscent of Mrs. Weasley. "I know the threats are bad Harry but to pull you out of Hogwarts?"
"They must be worse then we thought," Ron added. "Dumbledore must be keeping the worst of it hidden."
"You know about them?"
"Yes, of course we know about them," Hermione said disbelievingly. "I get the Daily Prophet you know and even if I didn't everyone is talking about it."
Daily Prophet? It seemed once again Harry was the one out of the loop. "What are they saying?"
"They're shocked anyone would have the nerve to say anything, even in an anonymous letter to the paper. A good deal of the Ministry's resources have been put into finding the person and you know they don't have any to spare. But people are scared," she said grimly. "Really scared. There is talk about parents pulling their kids out if you attend."
"But, why?" Harry asked flabbergasted. Was it because of what happened at the Ministry?
Hermione narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion. "How much do you know?
Harry blushed. "Not as much as you," he admitted.
"I thought Dumbledore was going to keep you informed for now on?"
Ron looked disgusted. "It seems like we were wrong."
"Yeah, seems so," Harry muttered, now upset and nervous about what the hell was happening. "Go on!" he demanded when neither spoke.
"Well, someone sent a letter to the paper-"
"I got that," Harry barked at Hermione.
"Don't snap at me. I'm just trying to tell you what happened."
"Sorry," he grumbled.
"Anyway, the letter basically was filled with a bunch of 'Dark Lord this' and 'Dark Lord that' nonsense. They said that they were going to do 'their master's bidding' and…" Hermione exhaled, "kill you."
To Harry's jaded mind that didn't sound so bad. "What makes that so different than anything else that has happened in the past?"
"You weren't the only one they threatened," Ron said with a dark edge to his voice that was most uncommon.
Harry's eyes went wide. "You guys?"
"No, not exactly," Hermione told him. "They said that they'd not be responsible for any children who got in their way when they tried to kill you. In fact, they said they'd make sure a few kids did get in the way so if people didn't want their kids dead, parents should make sure you didn't attend this fall."
Now everything Dumbledore was doing made sense to Harry and even though he wanted to be annoyed, he couldn't. The headmaster had told him the truth about why he wasn't going to be at Hogwarts officially this fall, but not in full details and Harry had never asked. These details though, made everything that was happening all the more imperative and whatever Dumbledore thought, not a good thing.
"I guess it makes sense," Harry reluctantly admitted, his eyes raised so he wouldn't cry in front of his friends. He already felt responsible enough for his parents, Sirius' and Cedric's deaths. He couldn't bare another. "Sirius found a way to get in. Who knows what this person may be able to do that would allow him to do the same."
"Are you really all right with this, Harry? Hermione asked putting her hand comfortingly on his shoulder.
"I have to be."
The door suddenly opened with a bang and an angry Mrs. Weasley stood on the other side, her face as red as the famous Weasley hair.
"What are you three doing in here? I've been knocking and trying to get this door open for several minutes."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Weasley," a pale embarrassed Hermione grimaced. "We needed a place to talk where the twins wouldn't bother us."
"Didn't work!"
"We heard the whole thing!"
"No, you didn't," Mrs. Weasley scolded the laughing twins, who were standing a distance behind her. She then glimpsed at Harry with a warm smile. "Professor Dumbledore wants to talk to you for a few moments, dear. Come," she said, putting her arm around him and guiding him out of the room. "I'm so happy you came to see us. We'll be having big meal before you leave tonight."
"Hello, Harry," Dumbledore greeted warmly. "Molly, we need a few minutes alone with Harry before you join us."
"Of course," she nodded. "I'll just go and get lunch started."
"Don't get too involved, we'll need you shortly."
Harry realized, yet again, he didn't know what the hell was going on. Why would Mrs. Weasley be needed? He had an idea, but it made him furious that Dumbledore would have set all this up without a word to him about it. Not being certain though, he attacked on another topic he was sure that Dumbledore had withheld information on.
"Why didn't you tell me about the letter?" Harry demanded immediately, once the door shut. It was now just the three of them, Harry, Dumbledore and Snape in the room. Harry realized that a good deal of his summer would be spent in contact with only these two men, who were staring at him intently.
Snape glanced at Dumbledore and then back to Harry. "The headmaster didn't think another shock would be wise in such a short period," Snape simply informed him.
"He was obviously wrong because, as you see, I'm still standing," Harry said resentfully, his arms crossed though he really didn't know how he would have taken it had he been told a couple of days ago.
"I apologize, Harry," the headmaster told him in his usual calm manner. "The last few days had been rather taxing and I believed there was no rush in informing you."
Harry quirked an eyebrow. "So you let others tell me?" Harry didn't need a response so he went on, "When did this all start?"
"The letter arrived the day after the attacks near London and were published in a special edition."
"Now you understand why you were not to wander off in Hogsmeade."
Harry felt his face redden at the mention of the sore subject.
"The identity change will allow you far more freedom, Harry," Dumbledore said as though reading his mind, "and it will allow many parents to put their minds at ease. Many, I'm afraid, were demanding your absence so their child could safely attend. The threat is being taken quite seriously. We are quite lucky that this was the time the information on your birth became known to us allowing an alternative to pulling you out of school."
Harry cast his eyes down. Lucky indeed, he thought bitterly. "Everything seems rather chaotic suddenly. Half the parents saying they'll pull their kids out of school because it's not safe while a whole other set of parents try to get their kid to believe the opposite."
"Everything is in a state of confusion, not only the school system. Besides, each parent is doing what they think is best for their child at the moment. We're just doing our best to keep order and prevent too many people from making rash decisions." Dumbledore paused and then went on, "If you're wondering why we asked you here, it's because we thought you could use someone to talk to about everything that has happened."
"And that someone is Mrs. Weasley?" Harry posed.
"Perceptive, Potter." There was no scorn currently present in Snape's voice. The small smile playing on his lips would even make Harry think he was pleased.
"Why not Ron or Hermione?" Harry wanted to know.
"Use your senses. We mean an adult; a member of the Order."
"Professor Lupin then," Harry challenged.
"We need someone we can trust."
"I trust him!" Harry looked to the headmaster, who nodded in agreement.
Snape's cold dark eyes flashed with warning. "I don't."
"Why is it that only your opinion counts?"
"It doesn't." Snape said sharply. "If you'd think for a second, you'd realize that it would be best to have someone we all trust."
Harry sighed. He understood that and honestly, didn't want to.
"I thought you liked Mrs. Weasley?" Dumbledore questioned.
"Oh, I do. I mean it's just… I don't know." Harry shrugged. "Mrs. Weasley has her own kids to worry about. I always feel like I am bothering her."
"She will always be willing to be there for you, Harry. She cares about you like one of her own, most of which no longer require her time like they once did."
"I know that." Though he was still grumpy, the idea of being cared for like that sent a bloom of contentment through Harry. "I just figured Professor Lupin would make more sense. He doesn't have kids and will be at Hogwarts this fall… and I would feel more comfortable," he admitted.
"That may be so, but it isn't going to be him."
Harry could tell that Snape was unmovable when it came to this subject.
"We have to compromise here, Harry," Dumbledore encouraged.
Harry couldn't help but resent the fact that even his one and only confidant would have to be a compromise, like everything else in his life.
"Fine," he spat.
Harry was nervous about telling Mrs. Weasley that Snape was really was his father, but he supposed he would need the practice. He had no intention of never claiming his life back.
"Now, if you wouldn't mind Harry, could you run in and tell Mrs. Weasley we are ready for her?"
Harry stiffened and anxiously twisted his hands. "Um… If you wouldn't mind, I'd prefer you not be here when she is told."
Dumbledore seriously looked hurt by this news, but Harry didn't regret saying it.
"If that is what you want, Harry."
"Yes, it is." For once he wanted something Dumbledore wouldn't meddle in. The old man had so carefully arranged his life almost since the moment Harry had been born. He needed peace from Dumbledore's plans and advice and needed to say what he was feeling. Snape, on the other hand, Harry was torn about. He really didn't know whether he wanted him in the room for this so he'd let Snape decide. "You, "he said, glancing at Snape, "can stay if you want."
Snape nodded in consent, a strange gleam in his eye. "I'll stay."
Snape was strangely proud of the boy for standing up against Dumbledore and telling him what he wanted. It was a rare man, who ever did so and unheard of among those of Potter's age. On the other hand, he hoped it wouldn't become a habit. Dumbledore was one of Potter's final protections against the Dark Lord and disregarding him at a key moment could be devastating.
Snape also took pleasure in the fact that he was allowed to stay. He was trying to be decent with Potter and it seemed to be working. Though, he realized, not a conversation had passed between them where their usual and often-irate banter had not been exchanged.
As they sat down to talk, Molly Weasley had a worried and confused expression. Snape figured she didn't have a clue what Potter and him would want to tell her and why they were doing it together.
Seeing that if he didn't say anything they would remain in silence and Potter would continue on with his irritating fidgeting, Snape decided he matter as well get the conversation started.
"A few days ago-"
"He's my father," Potter blurted out. Apparently, he didn't know much about being subtle.
Mrs. Weasley startled. "What did you say, dear?"
"Professor Snape is my father," he mumbled again.
Her eyes went wide and she looked to Snape for collaboration. The Potion's master gave a slight affirming nod.
"But you can't, you look just like James." She turned to Snape. "What is it your trying to do to this poor child," she accused angrily.
"Nothing, I assure you," he replied dryly.
From there Potter did what he should have done from the first place, told Weasley everything from the start. Time to time, Snape would fill in parts of the story Harry himself did not know or interrupted to correct what he considered to be a false or exaggerated fact. Not that his corrections helped much. Mrs. Weasley was anything but a passive participant in this conversation. She asked questions and demanded answers from them both alike though she seemed to blame Snape for a good deal of what had happened.
Perhaps some of this criticism came from the fact he refused to answer any of her questions involving the night he spent with Lily. She knew nothing of their teen years together or the events that had lead up to the affair and he didn't feel like devilling into it with her, partially with Potter present. The details were private and the only party besides himself and Rosemary that knew them was dead.
"Professor Dumbledore doesn't want anyone else to know besides us," Harry told her.
"And you chose me?" she asked sweetly, an eager look in her eye.
Potter blushed and bit his lip. "Um-"
"We all thought it best. Dumbledore insists that Potter needs someone to talk to and neither he nor I are an ideal candidate for that. You don't mind, I assume?"
"Of course not," she blustered. "And you shouldn't be calling him Potter. He's your son."
Snape frowned and Potter shifted uncomfortably at her words.
Molly Weasley seemed to take the boys actions to mean he was hurt by the fact Snape and him were related so she pulled him into her arms. "Come here," she said giving the black haired boy a tight hug.
"This is going to be hard," Potter whispered, pulling away.
"I know," she sighed, a tear running down her cheek. "And you've suffered so much as it is."
Harry scrunched his eyes shut behind those thick black-rimmed glasses and listened to Molly's soothing comments and encouragements.
Maybe, Snape mused, she had been right about Potter's discomfort.
Watching the two made Snape feel awkward. The last time someone treated him in that manner had been along time ago. First it had been his mother, who died in his early teens and then Lily, who barely had gotten out of hers. Lily; for so long she had just been his long lost and bitter love. The person he had always wondered, what if, about. Now she was so much more. She was the mother of his child, also lost and hidden for many years. Snape felt a smug satisfaction that his union with Lily, while only a night, was now far more lasting then James Potter's ever could have been. Snape though, doubted he'd ever look at the child as truly being his own and that it was unlikely that Potter would ever look at him as a father either.
Snape didn't know what he was going to do. All the doubts and disbelief he had felt upon first learning the news was now rushing back. He couldn't be a parent. His efforts in the last two days had been forced and hollow. Potter wasn't even her son and Molly Weasley felt more affection for the boy then himself. After the meeting he would slip away, leaving Potter behind with the instructions to say his good byes at the dinner and return to the house. Snape never stayed for the meals, he had no desire to. Doing so now would become suspect to anyone with half a mind. So maybe, he smirked, no one would have noticed anyway.
Snape had research to do, though not the sort he would have liked. Learning any information about that spell Rosemary had insisted be performed on Potter became of vital importance. They were unsure how much time they had, though Dumbledore, who was also investigating himself in his few free moments, assumed it wasn't long. The belongings that had survived the fire of Godric's Hollow had been searched the evening before by Dumbledore himself to see if that book Lily had used for the spell was there, but he had been unsuccessful. Snape wondered if the headmaster would give in to casting an unknown spell upon the boy if it came down to it.
In the few moments Rosemary revealed what she knew of the spell, Dumbledore had learned very little. The witch had just said that Lily insisted that her son have it cast upon him. The transformation was apparently extremely painful and would take a toll on Potter, the spell would ease that process. If that was the only result of the spell, Dumbledore would have likely allowed it to go through, but Rosemary had also added another fact. Lily had also said that more than looks would be undone. This seemed to grieve the headmaster. Did this mean parts of Potter's personality or skills? Snape knew Dumbledore would refuse to have the spell done if that was true no matter how much pain Potter may have to suffer through. Or was it referring to something else? They just didn't know.
The first conversation of the meeting was to discuss the lookouts, which areas were they most needed and their shortage. Even with the several new lower level members inducted the night before, things were still stretched thin. It wasn't that there were more people currently on the enemies' side; there wasn't. The enemy knew where the attacks would be aimed and when; both the Order and Ministry could only hope they might be there at the right time or that they might pick up some clue to stop it. The side of the good had to be alert twenty four/seven and the Dark Lords targets were not as clear as they had been before his 'return'.
It was to Snape's dismay that until the likes of young Malfoy entered Voldemort's inner circle that information would be closed off to them now that his old connections and the boys' elders were in Azkaban. Just like with the Order, the process of entering the inner circle of the Death Eaters was a slow one and most minions never made it. Explicit trust and worth had to be earned in order for that to happen to placate the anxious yet still devoted crowd. It had only been a month and a half, but those days had been long ones.
They bickered back and forth on whether it was best to put their limited resources into protecting the residential areas, if so which? Or should the business areas be focused on? Where would the next strike be? Everyone had an opinion and was eager to voice it.
"Why aren't you on any of the watches?" someone on his left hissed loudly in his ear. "I've never seen you." Snape turned to see who it was as did a few others.
Elisabeth Kinney, Snape believed her name was and she was clearly frustrated with the current on goings. Snape stared at her long and hard, sneering. This woman was relatively new by Order standards and not worthy of his time though she must have earned her place here like anyone else. Only four individuals, including her had earned that right since the Order had been reinstated and two were the Weasley Twins, trusted, Snape suspected, mostly due to their birth. The forth was an Auror named Phelp, who had been introduced to the group a few meetings back. Snape had no opinion of him. Today, on the other hand, was the first meeting for both the Weasley twins and Ms. Kinney. She probably didn't even know who he was or his place in the Order.
"Severus has other obligations to attend to," Dumbledore said, leaning over towards the woman. His tired eyes were shinning as he gave Snape a supportive smile.
At Dumbledore's words she looked ashamed and apologized though Snape knew there was little feeling in it.
Limited updates were given by those who had them. This was the first meeting Snape could recall he himself not having information to offer, which appeared to surprise most. He was one of the few ties to what the other side was doing; really he was the main one.
"What do you mean you've learned nothing?" Bill Weasley demanded. It seemed the redhead had not forgiven him for last time. "You were supposed to get word on any others who may have joined his side, some of which will be going to school with Ron, Ginny and Harry. We're practically blind without your input on their actions!"
A few people grunted in agreement.
Oh, how fast people turn.
"Just that," he said harshly. "I've learned nothing."
The recent revelation of having a son though had taken up his time and Snape feared it would continue to do so now that Potter was in his care. They did not know that however, nor would they ever.
"What have you been doing this past week?"
Snape's lips pursed into a thin tight line, "Obviously, ignoring my duties for no good reason other than my desire to do so."
Molly Weasley's eyes darted about the room with unease and Snape could tell she wanted to say something in his defense. Luckily, she did not. She had been warned to not seem too friendly with him under any circumstances. The best she could do was to remain quiet and not to openly back either side. She did just that.
"Severus has personal issues of the up most importance to deal with at the moment," Dumbledore said kindly to the group. "It is understandable he may not have anything new for us today."
Harry was spending the afternoon in the bedroom he stayed in last summer while the adults of the Order had their meeting. Ron and Hermione were on one bed and Ginny and him on the other. Almost immediately, Ginny found out the news of Harry's upcoming disappearance and seemed quite upset over the fact.
"It's unfair they'd do that to you after everything you've done for the wizarding world," the redhead fumed.
Harry realized she was the first person to bring up the extreme unfairness of the situation and he was glad to know he was not alone in that sentiment.
"There is nothing that can be done. They've always gone back and forth between seeing me as the hero and the villain, anyway. Right now I'm the villain."
"I don't know if I'd say that Harry," Hermione disputed. "They feel bad for you. They just care for their own children more."
Harry sighed. If he were in their place, maybe he'd feel the same.
"Where are you going to go?" Ginny asked him.
"I can't tell you."
"Maybe they'd allow us to go too," Ron offered.
Hermione stared at Ron as if he were insane. "That's ridicules, Ron, really. Your mother would never let you do that."
Ron shrugged. "It was just an idea."
"Who will be giving you your lessons?" Hermione inquired, changing the subject.
"I can't say."
"You can't say much can you?" Ron frowned.
"Will they be giving you any special lesions, Harry?"
"Occlumency again and studying for my apparation test."
"Really?" Hermione said excitedly. "You're lucky. I wish- Oh, tests! Did you get your OWL results? Ron and I have."
Ron grimaced and Harry laughed. "I can't believe it took you this long to bring them up."
It was Ginny's turn to now laugh. "She was too busy plotting ways to make sure everyone would find out her and Ron were a couple."
"How did you find out," Hermione asked her suspiciously. "Never mind," she waved the question off a second later. "Well, how did you do?"
Harry gave a twisted smile. "I failed Astronomy, Divination and History of Magic."
Ron's mood now brightened. "So did I," he said. "Though not Divination, I passed that somehow. I failed Potions thanks to that greasy git of a teacher."
Harry's stomach tightened. "It's not really his fault you failed, Ron."
"That's what I told him," Hermione smirked. "He didn't study nearly enough for it."
"It was a lost cause… and why are you defending him anyhow Harry? How did you do?"
"I got an E."
"I got outstanding," Hermione bragged.
"And everything else," Ginny and Ron mocked simultaneously, rolling their eyes.
Hermione grinned proudly. "There's nothing wrong with that. If you try hard, Ginny, you can get the same this year." She turned her attention back to Harry. "So what about the rest of your grades?"
"Es in Magical Creatures, Transfiguration and Herbology as well as Os in Defense and Charms."
"That's great. Ron didn't get any Os."
Ron yanked himself off the bed and stormed heatedly at Hermione, "You don't have to keep rubbing it in."
"I'm not, but it will teach you to study harder next time."
"We all can't be as perfect as you-"
Harry sighed and leaned back onto the bed as the two kept bickering back and forth. He wondered if this was what him and Snape were like… well without the caring or lust.
Feeling a tickle of something on his face, he swatted at it and opened his eyes. Ginny was hovering over him, staring down upon him with her large hazel eyes, her long cascade of red hair getting in his face.
"They never stop, do they?"
"No," Harry said breathlessly, feeling amazingly lightheaded. He lifted himself back up onto his elbows feeling odd yet strangely warm with Ginny being so near.
She smiled brightly. "The twins already have bets going on about how long they'll last."
"How long did you bet for?"
"A week though I said they'd get back together again and break up another week after that."
Harry couldn't resist to smile, knowing it was fully true.
"So you have plans to see anyone?" Ginny's hand flew to her month in a gasp. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she apologized. "I forgot."
"It's no big deal," he lied, shakily. "You still seeing Dean?"
"It was a joke, Harry."
When Harry glanced back over to Ron and Hermione, he saw it was now their turn to be the ones doing the staring.
As the Order members gathered for dinner, knots started forming in Harry's stomach. He never liked being the center of attention and was unsure how to best break the news to the selected few that would be there. It was fortunate, or maybe not, that he had gotten to pick who would be there. Besides Dumbledore, Ron , Hermione and Mrs. Weasley who all knew, there of course would be Lupin and the rest of the Weasley's, who had been so kind to him. He also figured Tonks and Moody should be there. They had come to the train station to help him with the Dursley's after all. Deep down, though he had never told them, he appreciated that. Many of those who should have cared about his welfare never had. Out of all his teachers only McGonagall would be there. Hagrid was currently off on some mission for the Order again.
The unfortunate side of choosing who would be there was that he didn't want to leave anyone important out. Would Mrs. Figg mind if she wasn't invited? Harry didn't feel particularly close to her, but she had spent a good deal of her life watching over him. Harry though went with his gut and hoped he wasn't about to hurt anyone.
When dinner began he nervously picked at his meal even though he was starving and Mrs. Weasley's food tasted great.
"Is something wrong, Harry?"
He gazed up to see Mrs. Weasley smiling at him with soft sympathetic expression. She knew full well what was to come.
Harry swallowed, put his fork down and wiped his sweaty palms down his jeans. "I…" he hesitated. "I need to tell you all something."
All eyes went to Harry. He wondered if they even knew they had been there for a reason.
"I'm going away," he simply said to the confused faces. "Into hiding." He bit his lip. "Professor Dumbledore feels it is best I not return to Hogwarts and go into private training."
"What is this, Albus?" McGonagall inquired.
"It's just as Harry, here, has said," Dumbledore smiled sadly. "Harry will go into hiding and after tonight it will be some time before most of us see his face again."
There were a few whispers that broke out at the table, but most found themselves shocked into silence.
"But you can't," Lupin said shaking his head. "This is wrong. There are more than enough people at Hogwarts to protect Harry. You have asked me back yourself under such an understanding and I agreed. We don't even know if the letter was serious!"
"That is not a chance we can take and your presence at Hogwarts would still be most beneficial."
"I feel Harry could use me more," the werewolf stated with determination. It was very rare for Remus Lupin to let his emotions out like this showing the extent of his feeling on the subject. "If Harry is to leave," there was pain in his eyes, "I could help with not only Defense, which he will be needing, but other areas as well."
Dumbledore had opened his mouth to answer when Harry interrupted, "Thank you, Remus." It was the first time he called the man by his first name and it seemed to please him. "I really wish you could, but… you can't"
Harry hated Snape for this moment. Lupin was one of the few people left that he felt truly connected to and seeing him hurt, broke Harry's heart. Plus Harry really wanted it to be Lupin who he stayed in contact in the upcoming months. If Lupin didn't understand what his mother had done-- Harry was still uncertain how he'd take the news he wasn't James' son-- he'd at least understand the loss of Sirius. That guilt weighed on him far more then the circumstances of his birth did.
Lupin just shook his head in a weary daze, not happy at all.
"We'll miss you Harry," Hermione said trying to make things better.
"Yes," a few individuals at the table agreed.
"Your taking this well," one of the twins said surprised.
"Not really. Ron, Ginny and I were told earlier and have had a few hours to get used to the idea"
Harry wanted to say more but found he couldn't. Thank you for caring, for being there for me, it just seemed empty at the moment. These people were his first and only friends, family and mentors. It grieved him to 'leave' them behind and to deceive them. He just hoped that the sham wouldn't last too long.
"We're going to miss your birthday yet again," Ron mumbled as Harry got ready to leave. "I haven't gotten you anything yet."
"That's all right," Mrs. Weasley told him. "Any present will get to Harry. It will just take a bit longer."
Hermione eyes brightened at this. "Does that mean letters too? We can write one another through the year, Harry."
"Yes, those too," Molly smiled.
"Then, you be sure to write often," Lupin encouraged eagerly.
"I will." Seeing their sad faces he added," Don't worry guys, everything's going to be okay,"
Hermione laughed," Stop it Harry. It's us who are suppose to be comforting you, not the other way around."
Harry shrugged. "I just thought how hard it would be for you without my brilliant presence," he joked.
To Harry's surprise they didn't laugh and just nodded in agreement. It made him choke up that they felt that way.
Hermione gave him one last hug and Ron and Remus patted him on the shoulder as a farewell. He turned to Mrs. Weasley, who pulled him into a tight hug and whispered," I will be there tomorrow."
Harry nodded. "Bye."
His heart beating rapidly, he waved goodbye one last time and shut the door to the pallor behind him so none of them would hear his destination. Taking some green powder he threw it into the fireplace and stepped into the flames, saying, "Snape Manor."
End of Chapter 9
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