Chapter Eight
'Halloween'
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AN: Originally I wasn't planning on doing a Halloween story. It has been done to death. So it basically was just Xander and Belmo talking, cut to the aftermath. But that turned out a bit short. When I had basically wrapped up the rest of the story I returned to this chapter, inspiration hit and I decided, why not?
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"Is there a problem, young man?"
Having been lost in his thoughts Xander looked up and noticed the Saiyan looking at him. Xander had been sitting alone in broad daylight in Sunnydale's central park, across Town Hall and Main Street. Unlike some he preferred to do his brooding in daylight. And knowing what he did from Sunnydale it was also far healthier as well.
"Hey, you're back," Xander replied and cracked a weak smile. The Saiyan had been gone for a while and this was the first time in three weeks that he had showed his face.
"I have been here since yesterday evening," Belmovekk grinned, "it has been a grueling set of weeks. Traveling across this interesting world. I made some new allies in my search for Gero, I even managed to sneak in a week of training with Goku."
"Good for you," Xander said flat, then he looked the Saiyan right in the eye, "if you were here last night, how come you didn't come by earlier?"
"Well, you try doing that after flying over that damn great ocean," Belmovekk said and nodded to the Pacific not far from here, "all I could think of was sleep. Besides, things seemed quiet."
Xander mulled it over for a minute. Then something fell into place.
"Why did you ask if I had a problem? What makes you think I even have a problem, B-man?"
"The way you sit, young man? The way you looked?" the Saiyan shrugged, "4000 years of experience reading human emotions. So, go ahead and tell me. For this afternoon I am all yours."
Xander didn't answer outright, as if still in doubt whether to spill the beans or not. The Saiyan didn't press on and just sat down next to him.
"You know, young man," he said as he looked around the square, "it really always is a nice day out here! Every day the sun shines. A great day to enjoy it with others. Yet nobody here seems to appreciate it. Nobody takes some time out to sit back and think, by the Gods, it is good to be alive. Everybody somehow has stuff to do that seems very important but never really is. Big city people are basically all alike throughout the universe. They are all to busy worshiping the same stern and demanding God!."
"Which is," Xander asked.
"Money."
Xander mulled it over for a while and chuckled.
"The root of all evil," he agreed, "you are right. It really is a nice day. To bad there is school to go too or bills to pay."
"For what?" the Saiyan said and pointed to a luxury Mercedes passing by, "I have seen a thousand times on a thousand worlds. Most of the things people desire and slave for is in the end useless. All you need is a roof to sleep under, a good meal and some friends and loved ones to share it with."
"Never figured you for a Ghandi," Xander said," Although I doubt you'll pull off the loincloth look like he did."
"Who?" the Saiyan asked to which Xander shook his head.
"Never mind," he said and resumed staring ahead.
"It really is a beautiful day," he finally said.
"That it is," Belmovekk said and fumbled into a box next to him.
"Cookie?" he said holding out a chocolate chip cookie towards Xander.
"Are those the fabled chocolate chip cookies that Buffy mentioned and that she would kill for to have again?" Xander said as his eyes grew a little bigger.
"It could be," the Saiyan said, "I did offer them to Buffy in the cemetery."
"Don't mind if I do," Xander said and grabbed the cookie, then bit in them and closed his eyes in mindless bliss, "Oh yeah, sugary goodness. You're right. Most of the things in life you don't need. This however, this you need."
"Happiness is always found in the smaller things in life," Belmovekk said and began nibbling on a cookie as well, "Usually most of them are found in the pantry of Beltira and Belkira. God bless those two."
"Who?" Xander asked.
"Two of my fellow sorcerers," Belmovekk explained, "Two of the kindest old men you will probably never get to meet. And absolute wizards in the kitchen. Me, Beldin and Belgarath always tried stealing their food. And beer. That too. God bless the Twins, it's like they always knew when we were going to pilfer their pantry, cause it was always well stocked."
"You miss them? Your friends I mean," Xander asked curious.
"More then you will ever know," the Saiyan nodded, "still, one day my mission here will be over and then I will go back and see them again."
"So is this one of those things that you 'created'?" Xander asked as he finished his cookie, "Cause Buffy said you kept on making boxes for her like you had your personal pantry on that graveyard. Is this something your friends used to make and that you stole?"
That caused Belmovekk to chuckle.
"I wish the Twins had these for us to steal," he said, "It is not that we do not have chocolate where I live, just not that much of it. When goods have to hauled around by small sailing ships and caravans it does tend to limit what and how much they can transport."
"I'll take your word for it," Xander said.
"Actually the cookies come from a baker in Grover street," Belmovekk said and pointed behind them.
"What, that funny looking Middle Eastern guy? Who always mumbles and looks funny at Willow and Buffy when we pass his shop. He makes these?" Xander said surprised.
"The best baker in town," Belmovekk said and put the box in between them, "So, no, I did not create them that night. Why create food when the real magic happens in a kitchen?"
"I'll keep that in mind," Xander said making another cookie grab, "Best not to tell Buffy though where they come from."
"Why is that?" Belmovekk asked curious, "Because she does not like the man who bakes them?"
Xander gave Belmovekk an incredulous glare.
"4000 years and he knows nothing about women?" he said shaking his head, "Haven't you learned that women are perfectly capable to say one thing and do another?"
"It might have crossed my attention," the Saiyan said diplomatic.
"No, Buffy is perfectly capable to eat the cookies of a guy she thinks is a pervert," Xander sighed, "But she kinda likes the idea that you made them for her, even with your ability to make things out of nowhere. It makes her feel special. So my advice, don't tell her. Happy Slayer equals happy training."
"Sound advice from someone so young," Belmovekk said impressed, "I shall keep that in mind."
"Just because I make bad jokes all the time doesn't mean I don't notice," Xander said, "Just that I got lousy timing in humor. And probably in a few other things as well."
Belmovekk looked at Xander.
"Why are you here, young man? You barely noticed the weather and you did not come here to eat cookies with an old man," he asked.
Xander eyed the Saiyan for a moment, then he sighed deeply.
"I wish I was different," he then said, causing Belmovekk to raise an eyebrow.
"Do we not all, young man?" he said, "So, different in what way?"
"I'm so fed up with being the buttmonkey of this group, B-man," Xander said looking straight ahead, "why does the bad stuff always happen to me? Why do I always attract the praying mantis lady, the goddamn hyena possessions, the Inca zombie princess, being frat hazed by Kappa-Beta-Demon or having to be saved from the school bully by a girl? Even if it is Buffy."
"Ah," Belmovekk said nodding understanding, "I take it you had a bad week?"
"Very bad week, B-man," Xander nodded sullen, "it's like I always feel the joke is on poor Xander. And to top it off I just don't feel any stronger. I've been training my ass off and I don't feel any stronger. Or better. I couldn't even stand up against those fratboys. Buffy on the other hand, I can feel Buffy's already moving ahead, increasing the distance. I feel like I still end up drawing the shortest straw. The useless one."
Belmovekk shifted until he was facing Xander sideways.
"Well, she is the Slayer, young man. She has this huge natural advantage over the rest of humanity. In your case it maybe takes more time. Not even Goku's friends had that natural advantage and they are the strongest humans I know. From what I gather some of them feel quite the same way about us Saiyans. No matter what they do, they never seem to be closing the gap, only see it grow bigger and bigger."
"So how do they cope then?" Xander asked.
"Just doing their best I suppose," the Saiyan said, "when life deals you a bad hand you play with what you got."
Xander mulled it over for a minute.
"It just pains me that I can never be there for Buffy. Like Dead Boy always seems to be. She's training him, did you know? Teaching him what she learned from you."
Belmovekk raised another eyebrow. Of all the things that surprised him since coming to this town it was learning that the Slayer was dating a vampire. Granted, one with a soul, which meant technically he was one of the good guys. But still, the very concept stunned the mind and warped it in 'creative ways'.
"That disgusting vampire she hangs around with?" he said. To which Xander nodded in response.
"Training a damn vamp in using chi," Xander said shaking his head in disbelief, "what is the world coming to! Even though he does have a soul and helps out from time to time. And since he's stronger then me I can't even close that gap. Damn, I just wished there was some way I could surpass at least Dead Boy."
"I must confess, I am not that fond of the vampire myself either," Belmovekk nodded in agreement, "it just does not feel right. Especially for people like me with highly attuned senses. Still, the vampire fights the good fight. We must not be that judgmental in our allies. Most of Goku's friends were his enemies at one point. In fact they all were, maybe not Krillin. Nah, he disliked him also when they were little. Hated his guts."
"I suppose," Xander shrugged, "I just wish they weren't that cozy all the time. I always suspect them to be locking lips behind our backs. Its not natural. A vampire and a vampire Slayer together like that."
"What we do is not natural either. Lots of things are not natural eith... " Belmovekk's eyes lit up as he finally connected the dots, "I get it, you are in love with her. Are you not?"
"I'm so not in love with Buffy," Xander huffed indignant as he looked away, "especially after that stunt she pulled when she returned from LA."
"Yes, you are," Belmovekk said suppressing a smile, "I can see the signs now. You are the type that hangs out with a girl but is afraid to ask her. So you become the best friend instead. And she will never see you as anything else instead. You will comfort her when she has boyfriend troubles and comes crying to you but she will never even think that you might be the one. I pity you. No wonder you are the buttmonkey."
"Don't you start making fun of me too," Xander bit back, "I get that enough from the others. And for your information I did ask her out once. It's public knowledge these days. It's just that she gave me the 'I never think of you like that, but we can still be friends' speech. Might as well have ripped my balls off as well."
The Saiyan gave a sympathetic face.
"Those are the worst, young man," Belmovekk said and put his hands on Xander's shoulders, "the most cruel words unknown to femalekind. Makes you want to wish that the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Of course, this being the Hellmouth it might be wiser to wish for something else. Death by lightning strike, collapsing roof, giant bird of prey, huge pot of gold. Do not worry. We have all heard that speech at some point. Even I."
Xander looked shocked.
"No way, not the great Belmovekk! The B-man doesn't strike me as the lovesick puppy type."
"It pleases me that you think of me as a ladiesman, young man, but back on planet Vegeta I knew this girl, boy, was she a hot piece of Saiyan ass, that's for sure," Belmovekk said smiling at the memory, "nicely athletic with superbly toned ass muscles, I must have asked her a dozen times to become my mate, but she never showed any interest in me whatsoever. She just wanted to be friends"
"Funny how they always want to be friends right after they rip your heart out. So how did it end?"
"She probably died when Freeza blew up our planet. And if not she was probably killed by his assassin squads. You know, it is kind of funny, I was absolutely smitten with this girl back then but I have not thought a moment about her ever since. And I was so sure she was the one eternal for me at the time. The mind is a funny thing indeed. I do not think I can really help you in this, young man. Women are the strangest beings in the universe. I have long given up on understanding them."
"I can give you some advice though. Option A. do nothing and continue as before, loving her and suffering in silence while she ignores you. There is option B. keep telling her how much you still love her. There is always a slim chance that she may change her mind. Sometimes a penny needs some time to fall and I am told some women like it when a suitor persists."
"That is sick, B-man! Why do they do it?"
"A wise man once said women need three things. Food, water and compliments. And the occasional pair of shoes! I guess they do it because its nice to have a man tell them they look nice and are the most desirable thing in the universe. And because deep down they know that when the man has what he wants he will say it less or altogether stop?"
"As for Buffy, if she did not think of you in that way before I do not think she will do it if you continue to persist. You will experience much anguish and despair and in due time come to the insight that all hope is indeed lost. You can then drown your sorrow in strong ale and much carousing with easier women. I will join you if you like. I have done my fair share of strong ale and carousing thanks to Belgarath. So I know the drill. There is also option C."
"Which is?"
"Accept that there are some battles you cannot win and move on. The vampire apparently occupies superior positions and no assault that you mount will dislodge him from that. Accept that there are other fish in the sea and that its better to lust after more willing girls then those that do not think of you in that way. This may seem hard to grasp right now but the easiest and clearest truths always seem to be like that. But hey, at least the truth will set you free! Personally I hope you go for option C. I hate to see you suffer like this."
Belmovekk put his arm around Xander and started smirking.
"If you want we could go on a hunt for strong ale and much carousing tonight. Or put you through such rigorous exercises that will leave you so exhausted and indifferent for the female gender they will think you must be gay."
"No gay thing," Xander objected, "I'm so not into that!"
"You would be surprised how good that can work out, young man," the Saiyan said winking, "all these girls get bothered by hormonal young men so many times a day it leaves them exhausted and indifferent. When they finally do meet a male that shows no interested in them it becomes almost like an aphrodisiac. Then again, it does not always give you control over which one comes after you."
"That sounds tempting B-man," Xander said, "but with my luck the girl I do manage to attract I'll be lucky is she's human. Besides, that troll Snyder has sentenced me to the Halloween patrol with the kiddies. I have to take a rain check on that. I still have to get a dumb costume."
"You humans have weird customs," the Saiyan said absentminded as he leaned back again. It seemed like he was listening to something else so for a while they didn't say anything until Xander spoke up again.
"I just wish, for once, I could be an equal to Buffy," he said staring ahead, "If I can't be her lover then at least an equal, a comrade in arms that she can trust, and not some burden she has to protect all the time."
That caused Belmovekk to look up from his musings.
"I do not think you could ever be a burden to her, young man. She may not think of you as a lover, but certainly not a burden. You guys are her lifeline, her reason for continuing doing what she does night after night."
Xander gave Belmovekk the whatever look.
"Oh, you are so wrong, B-man. Precisely because she loves us as friends will she start shutting us out. If we don't go out with her night after night she doesn't run the risk that we die on her. She'd rather lose us then have to bury us. Willow might stick around longer then me because she's good with the books and tends to stay behind mostly anyway. But I suspect that if this training doesn't pick up for me soon I will soon thereafter become demoted to being the snack delivery guy for research parties."
"I find that hard to believe, young man," Belmovekk said incredulously
"I don't," Xander snorted, "don't get me wrong, B-man, I love her to death, even as a friend, and would gladly and willingly die beside her. But I don't think she will let me. She's too protective. Angel however, somehow she's convinced herself that he's a worthy equal, capable of fighting alongside her. Even though it was me who had to drag the Prince of Broodness down the drains to save her from the Master. The bastard was just too busy brooding in his room over some stupid prophecy that Buffy said would die to do anything about it."
The Saiyan mulled that over for a while. He could see the truth in Xander's words. There was much bitterness in them but also great heart and truth. It was with much regret that he came to a decision.
"Tell you what, Xander Harris," he said as he stood up and stood before the young man, "I am going to do you a favor! Although you may not think of it like that at first. But as with everything in life, you should be careful what you wish for, for you may get it."
Xander gave the Saiyan an odd look.
"I don't understand, are you going Kosh on me?" he asked flummoxed.
"Oh, you will, young man, quite soon in fact," Belmovekk replied in a way that caused Xander to feel a slight case of the wiggins to come up.
"This is your last chance, young man," the Saiyan asked, "do you really wish to be stronger, to be able to fight as an equal alongside Buffy? You can still back down and live a normal life. I will not think of any less of you. Maybe even the contrary."
That should have caused alarm bells to go off in Xander's head but the Saiyan touched on something that was a raw nerve for him
"I don't want a normal life," Xander said vehemently, "normal means becoming like my father. Normal means standing by and letting my friends die! If that means being normal then count me out."
The Saiyan hunched down and looked Xander in the eyes.
"I can understand that sentiment now, young man, but when I do this, everything will change. This is not about you not wanting to be a buttmonkey, or being jealous of Angel. Getting a major upgrade means your responsibilities also increase. No more Xander the clown. No matter how you feel about me, Buffy, Angel, you will have to rise to the occasion from now on."
"I've been doing that for over a year and feeling damn no appreciation for it," Xander huffed indignant, "no matter what it takes, I'll be there."
"So be it young man, your course is set," the Saiyan sighed. But to Xander's surprise he didn't actually do anything but sit next to him again.
"Shouldn't you be doing something?" Xander asked after a while.
"Not everything happens all at once, young man," Belmovekk replied as he leaned back and enjoyed the sunshine, taking out another cookie to nibble on, "I cannot just wave my magic wand and make it happen. It takes some time to set things up properly."
"And you call yourself a sorcerer," Xander snorted.
"I never said I was a good one," Belmovekk replied without looking up, "besides, some things really do take time to set up. Hey, since you are here you will be the first to know, I have gotten a place around here."
"So you've gotten yourself your own little spot of Sunnyhell?" Xander said grinning. The Saiyan nodded in agreement.
"I figured I might as well get me a place to stay somewhere, why not here? This place stinks to the heavens with demonic chi but I will probably be here so often it is now my home away from home."
"So where is your crib going to be, B-man?"
"It's over there," Belmovekk said and pointed into a general direction away from them, "on 25th street. There is a warehouse there and it is on top of it. Which is great if I have fly off somewhere. I also bought the warehouse by the way. I am thinking of transforming it into an indoor training facility. While it is always good to purge the unclean, having to clean out the park every time does become a chore after a while."
"Your own fortress of solitude," Xander grinned, "must have cost you a good cent then?"
"Not as much as you think," the Saiyan said, "from what I gather the demand for houses does not outstrip the supply in Sunnydale. I suspect that the housing merchants here have a very good idea about what goes on in this town and keep some properties of the market in order to keep up prices to at least some level or they would be out of business."
"Ah, the joys of living in Sunnydale, B-man," Xander sighed, "Where getting a house and mortgage is easy but living long enough to pay it off isn't. I assume you used your pixiegold to pay for it?"
The look on the Saiyan's face was priceless.
"Hey, I happen to know my gold is 100% perfect, young man! Extremely pure. The goldsmiths always seem to be needing a toilet break whenever I visit them, they get that excited."
"If only they knew where it came from," Xander said. hardly able to contain his laughter that one of the greatest warriors in the universe could be so easily goaded. Bemovekk gave Xander a quick death glare before continuing.
"Just because it does not come out of some mine or stream does not make it any less real," he huffed, "besides, your government prints new paper money every day. An it is not even backed up by real gold as it should be. It is just paper!"
"I'm getting economics lessons from an alien," Xander said as he got up, "I guess that's my cue to leave before the world comes to an end. It's been good talking to you, B-man. Rest assured, your secret is safe with me."
"Do not forget tonight, young man," the Saiyan said after him, "time to show me how well your training has been progressing in my absence. I only have a few days before I have to go again and probably much laziness and tardiness to sweat you guys out of."
"Oh goody I can hardly wait," Xander sighed.
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"What'd you get?" Buffy asked as she and Willow were browsing the costumes in Sunnydale's latest mercantile addition, Ethan's Costume Shop.
"A time-honored classic," Willow smiles weakly as she held up a ghost costume to Buffy's horror.
"Okay, Will, can I give you a little friendly advice?" Buffy asked shaking her head.
"It's not spooky enough?" Willow asked nervously.
"It's just.. ," Buffy said, not knowing how to say it in a way to spare Willow's feelings, so she decided to be blunt to be blunt instead, "you're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding. You're missing the whole point of Halloween."
"Free candy..," Willow smiled weakly.
"It's come as you aren't night," Buffy said smiling, trying to put Willow at ease, "the perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions."
"Oh, I don't get wild," Willow objected vehemently, "wild on me equals spaz."
"Don't underestimate yourself," Buffy countered, "You've got it in you."
Feeling cornered Willow looked around in panic and sees her other friend, Xander, perusing through the costume shop and waved towards him.
"Hey, Xander!"
Xander waved back and came up to them.
"What'd you get?" Willow asked, hoping she has successfully diverted the previous subject.
Xander showed a toy machine gun he has taken from one of the racks.
"That's not a costume," Buffy snorted as she eyed the piece of plastic.
"I got fatigues from an Army surplus at home," Xander said as he put the toy gun away, "call me the Two-Dollar Costume King, baby!"
A man came up to them, clearly the shop owner.
"If you removed that from the plastic wrap it means you have to buy it, son," the owner said
"That's OK," Xander said, I was going to buy it anyway."
The shopkeeper took a good look at Xander, then his eyes narrowed.
"Say, are you called Xander by the way?" he asked curious.
Xander looked surprised, as did Willow and Buffy.
"Uh, yeah?" Xander asked surprised, "something wrong?"
"Ah," the shopkeeper said as he started grinning from ear to ear, "then your money is no good here."
"What do you mean?" an even more surprised Xander asked.
"Come with me," the man said and goes back to the counter, "there was this gentleman who came in here earlier and ordered that I make this suit to measurement for a certain, Alexander Lavelle Harris, calling himself Xander. That under no way should I sell him anything else and that I should give you this letter."
The owner gave Xander a sealed letter and he opened it.
Remember our little talk? I am going to do you a favor. I have ordered the shopkeeper to create you a special costume. It is that of a Saiyan Elite warrior. Scourge of the universe. May it serve you well during the coming night.
Forever thy loyal servant,
The B-Man!
"He also requested that I give you a letter as well," the shopkeeper said to Buffy.
"He did?" the blond Slayer asked surprised.
The shopkeeper just smiled and handed her another sealed letter.
"What does it say?" Xander asked nervous as she read it.
"That I should make you wear the costume, even if I have to kick your ass to hell and back," Buffy said with a growing grin.
Meanwhile the owner gave Xander a package that Xander opened to reveal a blue and white costume. To the obvious amusement of Buffy and Willow Xander pulled it out and held it in front of him.
"It has more spandex in it then an 80's hair metal music video marathon," Xander groaned in disgust.
"I thought you liked spandex," Buffy smiled.
"On you, not on me," Xander sighed.
"To bad, Xander," Buffy grinned evilly as she patted Xander on his back, "I have to do what he said, remember?"
"I so hate my life," muttered Xander as he puts the costume back in its packaging.
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Later that evening.
"Showtime!"
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"OhmiGod! I'm a real ghost!"
Horrified Willow looked at herself as she saw her ghost clad body lie on some porch, while a very hot looking but also very deceased looking spirit Willow stood above it.
What the hell happened?
One moment she's taking her little group of trick-or-treaters through the streets, and then suddenly she's a real ghost looking at a real corpse version of her. Not good. Not good at all!
She was about to undergo a serious freakout when suddenly she heard the sounds of explosions coming from further down the street. And she immediately realized who was there.
"Xander?" she asked worried. Getting no answers she ran out into the street where the explosions happened and saw somebody standing there dressed much like Xander was.
"Xander?" she asked again when she got close.
As Xander spun around he pointed his right hand at her and immediately charged an energy blast at her. Gone is the gentle Xander she has always known (and loved), his face is now all twisted in a snarl of pure rage and hatred.
"It's me, Willow!" Willow said defensively trying to dissuade him.
"I don't know any Willow," Xander the Saiyan snarled and fired his attack at her. But instead of exploding and killing her It goes straight through her and exploded against a car behind her.
Willow was now in utter shock.
Xander tried to kill her.
Her best friend since kindergarten tried to kill her!
Granted, she was already dead, sortish, but still, her oldest friend had just tried to kill her.
"Did you just tried to kill me?" Willow asked as she looked back and fro between Xander and the ruined car.
"What in the name of the Seven Hells is going on here?" Xander the Saiyan yelled outraged!
"You don't know me?" Willow asked still in shock.
Xander made a sudden move and tried to punch her. The force of the punch was so strong it caused the burning wreck behind them to move. Yet it had no effect on Willow as it moved right through her.
"Oh," Willow said, then she looked back at where her dead body was lying on some porch. Xander the Saiyan started to look at her suspiciously, then he put his arms through her again, seemingly to test why he couldn't hit her. Only then does Willow realize what has happened. The costumes! They became their costumes! She became a ghost and Xander, ohmiGod, he becamea bloodthirsty Saiyan!
"What are you?" Xander asked suspiciously, still waving his hand through her.
Quickly her mind raced trying to come up with something that could save something from this situation. From what she knows of Saiyans they are incredibly powerful. Right now Xander has probably no equal in this town until Belmovekk returns and he could probably just as easy level this place. She needed to be quick and choose her words carefully.
"What do you remember?" Willow asked.
Xander the Saiyan looked aside and raised an eyebrow as he tried to remember.
"Last thing I remember me and my team where on Themicron 4," he finally said, "we were cleansing that world for sterilization. Then I suddenly find myself on this godforsaken shithole."
Cleansing that world? Oh my God, Willow thought horrified, they were murdering a whole planet!
Xander the Saiyan tried to poke through her some more.
"Are you a hologram?" he finally asked, "You look almost real."
"Yes, I am a hologram," Willow said, her mind kicking into overdrive trying to remember every Saiyan detail Belmovekk had ever mentioned, "I have new orders for you from, um, regimental command."
Xander the Saiyan snorted in disgust.
"Regimental? What does that swine of a Pollack have to say?"
Willow didn't know any Pollack but he was probably the guy in charge.
"The mission has been, um, changed. You are to, um, protect that woman," Willow said and pointed across the street where she had seen Buffy lying fainted on the ground. The shock of it all probably having been too much for her.
"Regiment has got to be kidding?" Xander the Saiyan said shaking his head in disgust, "I will kick Pollack's ass from her to the moons of Nibbia for this."
Disgusted he walked across the street to pick Buffy up.
"She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?" Willow sighed dejected as she followed him.
"What's so special about this woman?" Xander the Saiyan asked after throwing lady Buffy over his shoulder, "even without a scouter I can see she's pathetic. And why am I even here in this place?"
"Um, her father pays, um, Freeza a lot of money to protect her," Willow said quickly, "yes, so they sent you. There was an, um, accident. And your ship was, um, damaged and you lost your, um, memories of the crash. They tried to communicate but there was no response. So they send me. I'm an, um, artificial intelligence."
"I didn't know they came like this," Xander the Saiyan as he checked out Willow, "you look kinda hot like that."
"Oh, me neither,' Willow said smiling a little uncomfortable, "but I guess I'm the latest in all things artificial."
Xander the Saiyan checked her out some more.
"You're a bit skinny for my taste though, but I hope they've modeled you on somebody real. So what would you have me do with this piece of meat?"
Willow looked around as in looking for a solution.
"Take her there," she said and pointed at Buffy's house, 'the retrieval boat will land there."
Then a monster appeared, growling across the street. Xander the Saiyan immediately trained his free hand at the thing to charge an energy attack.
"No you can't " Willow said shaking her head as she jumped in front of him.
"Why shouldn't I?" Xander the Saiyan asked aggrieved, "I see, I kill!"
"Because, um, because….., you must maintain a low profile," Willow said, "they mustn't know we are here!"
"Look, A.I., whatever your name is," Xander the Saiyan said coolly, "I'm not some skulking Infiltrator. I'm an Elite. We don't care about maintaining low profiles. We advertise our whereabouts by blowing up our enemies!"
Oh shit, Willow thought in despair, why did her best friends have to dress up like an useless noblewoman and Attila the Saiyan? Quick, what could she think of?
"Freeza doesn't want them harmed," she said triumphantly, "otherwise he will be very angry! Just keep the girl safe."
"Alright, alright," Xander the Saiyan muttered as he reabsorbed his energy attack, then lifted off as he flew the short distance to Buffy's house, "one of these days we should really do something about that horned freak!".
"He can do that now?" Willow said surprised as she ran after him.
Well! This is just.. neat," a pleasantly surprised Spike grinned as he walked the panic stricken Sunnydale streets and took out a cell phone, "oh boys, you'll never going to believe this."
x
x
BLAM!
Xander the Saiyan kicked open the door of the Summers residence ruining the lock, then casually dropped Buffy the noblewoman on the couch in the living room.
"Couldn't you have just opened this door?" Willow said as she followed a few seconds later.
"It's not my fault that everything on this world is not build for Saiyans," Xander snorted indifferent to her argument, then he walked away, "I'm going to look for something to eat."
Now alone Willow examined the door. The lock is busted but it looks like it can still be closed. If only Xander could barricade it then they would still be alright. As she looked outside more monsters came by running through the streets.
"Somebody help me!" a familiar voice suddenly screamed across the street, causing Willow to go through the door to look outside.
"Cordelia!" Willow said and stepped outside. A huge Sasquatch was chasing Cordelia down the street and she was running for all she's worth. Then she saw Willow and started legging it for 1630 Revello Drive. Before Willow can say anything Cordelia ran inside and closed the door behind her, leaving Willow outside.
"You can't just….." Willow called after her. Without thinking she walked after Cordelia through the door and through Cordelia hanging on for all her life against the door from the inside.
Inside Buffy the noblewoman had just come around and started to look around to see where she is. Being from the 18th century she had no clue whatsoever as to what was going on. She does however see somebody dressed as a cat leaning against the door, followed by a ghost coming through the door and the cat person.
"…..leave me outside," Willow yelled angrily at Cordelia.
"Sorry, I was so scared….," Cordelia said, then she stopped talking and gave Willow a funny look, "Wait a second, Willow, did you just walk right through the door?"
"We have no time for that," Willow said, "something has happened and every."
"Aaaaaaahhhhhh!"
Buffy the noblewoman was now starting to seriously freak out.
"Oh no, Buff," Willow sighed and went to the freaking girl, "it's OK, everything is alright, you're safe now. Home."
"This is not my home," Buffy said looking freaked, "and who are you? You walk right through a door! Am I in some haunted mansion?"
"What's wrong with her?" Cordelia asked from the front door, "she's Buffy, she kicks these things ass. Why is she freaking out."
"She doesn't remember," Willow said to Cordelia, "they've all lost their memory and become their costumes. Hey, how come you remember, shouldn't you be like a cat or something?"
"That's nice, Willow," Cordelia replied looking at Willow as if she's stupid, "and you went mental when?"
"A lot's going on," Willow said defensively.
"No kidding," Cordelia huffed, "I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Look at my costume! Do you really think that Partytown's gonna give me my deposit back? Not on the likely."
BAM!
The door suddenly got thrown open violently, throwing Cordelia to the floor as the Sasquatch enters the house.
"Grrooarrrwlll," it growled.
"No," Cordelia whimpered.
"Huh," Buffy said the noblewoman as she faints again.
"Uh, we could use some help here," Willow yelled to Xander the Saiyan.
"What in the name of the Seven Hells is going on here?" Xander the Saiyan yelled, carrying a piece of meat and a bottle of ketchup. As he saw the Sasquatch standing over Cordelia he stormed towards him and gave it a head butt. The Sasquatch fell back stone cold in the door opening. Xander then kicked it out of the door sending the Sasquatch crashing into a house across the road.
"Good riddance to thrash," Xander smirked and started eating the raw meat. It was gone in no time, then he took the ketchup bottle and started drinking from it like it was a beverage.
"Shouldn't you put that on the meat?" a very surprised Cordelia said as she tried to get up.
"Who are you?" Xander the Saiyan replied suspiciously.
"Who am I?" Cordelia huffed indignified, "Who are you, dweeb boy?"
"Not now, Cordelia," Willow said in despair and turned to Xander, "she's a friend."
"A friend?" Xander the Saiyan snorted, "dressed like that? She looks like a five credit cheap whore from the brothels of Altair 7!"
"Now look here..," Cordelia tried to say, only to be waved off by Willow. Xander the Saiyan however had already lost interest and returned to the kitchen.
"OK," Cordelia said turning to Willow, "I demand an explanation. What is going on here and especially with spandex boy there."
"Sshht," Willow replied, looking over her shoulder to see if Xander can hear them. The Saiyan however was already engrossed by the various condiments in Buffy's mother's kitchen.
"Look, it's like this," Willow explained, "everybody who dressed up suddenly became their costumes. All the kids turned into monsters, Buffy, well, she's now a totally useless noblewoman from the 18th century. As for Xander, he thinks, no, he is some brutal, um, space alien from some, um, Japanese cartoon show."
"So on the downside we lose one insanely strong Buffy but at the upside we get an insanely strong Xander in return?"
"Actually, Buffy is nothing compared to what he is now," Willow said, and stuck her head through the wall to check on Xander.
"He mustn't know that he's not real," Willow continued after seeing that Xander the Saiyan had now discovered the joy that was ice cream, "you don't know these Saiyans. They are like Darth Vader and Superman all rolled into one very deadly package."
"How very efficient, Cordelia said, "and what if he finds out?"
"You and Buffy will probably die," Willow replied with a weak smile.
"And why won't you?"
"I'm already dead," Willow sighed, "I went dressed as a ghost."
"What, Slutty the Ghost?"
x
x
In the kitchen Xander the Saiyan had just finished off the supply of ice cream. It had been quite tasty, even though his stomach does now feel like a glacier. Time to find something more warm while he drank something called Worcestershire sauce. Slow and syrupy, and not much of it, and yet somehow quite tasty. By now he had exhausted the refrigerator and moved on to look into the other cabinets. He didn't bother to check out the freezer. The ice cream had been nice, but these things called frozen pizza's where nowhere near as good looking as the box suggested.
It was in another cabinet that he struck gold.
"Ha ha, finally, pay dirt," he said triumphantly and grabbed various bags of chips, cookies and tinned foods. He had his hands full when suddenly the backdoor opened and Angel entered the kitchen. As he saw Xander he visibly relaxed as if a weight was being lifted.
"Oh, good," Angel said sounding very much relieved, "you guys are alright. It's total chaos out."
Before he could finish his sentence Xander dropped his booty and before it could fall to the ground the youth had thrown himself upon Angel and pinned him against the wall."
"You feel all..., wrong," Xander the Saiyan hissed into Angel's face, his face turned into an angry snarl.
"Xander, what the hell is..," Angel tried to say but he got cut off.
"I don't know any Xander," Xander replied and started to sniff Angel, "by the Seven Hells, you really do feel wrong. I wonder if the A.I. will let me kill you."
"A.I.?" Angel asked surprised, although he does recognize the look of pure homicide in Xander's face, "What are you talking about, Xander?"
Hearing the commotion Willow came running into the kitchen only to find Xander holding Angel with murder in his eyes.
"No," she said vehemently, "don't kill him! He's, uh, he's, um, he's our contact. He's here to help!"
Xander looked over his shoulder at Willow.
"Can't I kill him, A.I.? He makes me feel sick just looking at him."
"No, you can't," Willow said while violently waving her hands and shaking her head.
"This mission sucks, A.I. I don't get to kill anything," Xander muttered annoyed and let go of Angel and started to pick up the various chips, nachos, cookies and tins of food he'd let fall.
"Is Buffy alright?" Angel asked as he massaged his neck.
"She's lies feinted on the couch," Willow said and went back to the living room
through the wall.
"Did you just…..." Angel said as he followed her through the door like normal people.
"Long story," Willow said looking back, "In short, basically everybody became their costume."
"Except for me," Cordelia said, busily re-arranging furniture to barricade the front door.
"And I wonder why?" Willow remarked curiously.
Angel meanwhile knelt besides Buffy and examined her.
"And what on earth did she become?" he asked.
"Some 18th century noblewoman," Willow replied," she's next to useless, she feints at the first sign of anything."
"Well, no wonder," Angel said and knocked on Buffy's waist, making a dull knocking sound, "she's corseted in so tight it's a wonder she can breath at all."
"But the dress didn't come with a corset," Willow said surprised, the latest one in a long list this evening.
"It does now," Angel said knocking again.
Xander the Saiyan entered the living room carrying his loot and started to kick aside the various things Cordelia had just managed to pile in front of the door.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Cordelia asked angry.
"I'm going out," Xander said without giving Cordelia a moments notice as he opened the door, "if I don't get to kill him I'm not staying here. I need some fresh air."
"But you can't leave?" Willow said, "You have to protect her."
"I'm not going far, A.I.," Xander said and nodded towards Angel, "I just refuse to stay in a house with something like him."
Xander the Saiyan went outside and sat on the porch, opening a bag of chips. One of the little monsters/kids came up to him sniffing.
"Fuck off!" Xander yelled and uses his tail to whip the little monster/kid unconscious across the road.
"What the….." Cordelia said as she saw the scene through the open door.
"Whats up with him?" Angel asked.
"He thinks he's a Saiyan," Willow replied.
Having been thought by Buffy and having met Belmovekk once Angel can make a mental picture of that.
"Then why don't you help him out of that dream," he asked.
"Because for now he is a Saiyan, Angel," Willow said feeling suddenly very tired, "and not in the nice 'I'll help you cause I feel sorry for you' kind like Belmovekk, we're talking Attila the Saiyan here. He scares me more then Spike and the Master combined."
"We must do something," Cordelia said.
"Why didn't you change?" Angel asked.
"How should I know," Cordelia shrugged, "my good looks maybe?"
"You said you got your costume at Partytown," Willow said like she had had a revelation, "we got ours at Ethan's."
"Ethan's, that's that new place?" Cordelia said, "Now I know, it's full of cheap rubbish. Come on, how good can a costume be if it costs less then a happy meal? He was practically giving them away. At least at Partytown….."
"It sounds like Ethan's is the key," Angel said to Willow, "I'll go and check it out."
"No, you stay here and guard the house and Buffy," Willow said.
"And me," Cordelia quickly added.
"I'll go," Willow said, "who can harm me? I'm a ghost now."
"And a nicely shaped one as well," Angel grinned, "go then, my fellow undead."
"Oh guys," Cordelia said sounding very alarmed.
"What's wrong, Cordelia?" Willow asked.
"Look," Cordelia replies and pointed through the window across the street.
x
x
Xander the Saiyan had just finished the last packet of cookies. The chips and nachos were finished long ago. Now he was onto tinned foods and he tore open a can of hotdogs which he started to gulp down raw.
"You do know you are not supposed to eat them like that," a voice said.
His mouth still full Xander the Saiyan opened an eye and examines the bleached haired stranger who stood before him on the driveway, his face looking very demonic, as did five similarly faced men that are with him.
"Fuck off," Xander said with his mouth full.
"Or you are going to do what?" Spike snorted. While the Slayer was a particularly troublesome adversary, that boy that always hung around her like a lovesick puppy usually wasn't.
Xander the Saiyan gulped down the remainder of his hotdogs in one gulp and stood up.
"By the Seven Hells of Jeherheroth, you lot feel just as bad as that freak inside," Xander said, then turned around his head and yelled, "Hey A.I., I suppose I can't kill these ones also?"
Willow's head popped up through the wall.
"Well, actually him you can kill," she said, "but only him and others who feel like him. And except of course Angel here inside."
"My pleasure," Xander the Saiyan grinned from ear to ear, "Finally some murder, death, kill."
"Oh, yeah? You and whose army, spandex man?" Spike grinned.
"Let me do it," one of Spike's minions yelled, "I've been dying to kill him ever since that little shit hooked up with the Slayer."
"Be my guest," Spike said and stepped back to allow his minion to kill Xander.
"One Xanderstew coming right up," the minion grinned as he advances.
Xander the Saiyan just stood his ground and smirked.
"I'll wipe that stupid grin right of your face," the minion said.
"I don't think so," Xander smirked who grabbed the vampire faster then they ever thought was possible and started ripping him apart. Literally ripping the vamp apart. Body parts flying everywhere and everywhere. Finally Xander ripped off the head and what remained of the vampire turned to dust amidst a ghastly scream.
"What is this?" Spike muttered in shock and started to slowly walk backwards.
Xander the Saiyan meanwhile was coughing up vampire dust.
"Dusty bastards," he coughed not very amused, "and not so well in the aftertaste. I guess I'll have to settle for blowing you apart from a distance."
He held his arms up as if crucified and then in each hand an energy sphere appeared.
While Spike at least had the smarts to start backing out slowly, his remaining four minions lacked his better sense of judgment.
"Just look at the birdies," Xander smirked. The first attack however didn't come from the attack Xander was charging from his hands. From his mouth he spit up a fireball that incinerated minion number 2. While the others look perplexed Xander fired off the other two attacks and destroyed two more.
"Don't just stand there, fool," Spike yelled and pushed his remaining minion towards Xander.
"Bugger this," he said and made for the nearest manhole cover while Xander ripped minion number 5 to shreds.
When number 5 finally snuffed it Xander ran after Spike who has already dropped inside the manhole.
"I'm coming to get you, sucker," he yelled after the vampire and threw down an energy ball. It's not a particular strong attack but its loud enough to ruin anyone's hearing and very, very bright. Enough to function as a SWAT style flashbang grenade. Xander immediately jumps in after the bang.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!"
x
x
As Angel watched over Buffy and struggled to release her from her corset, Willow was mading best speed for Giles, Xander was trying to play tag with Spike underground and a certain Ethan Rayne was enjoying himself immensely, another POV exists. A few hundred meters over Sunnydale Belmovekk held up station, looking very intently at the proceedings going on down below. His scouter kept track of the various things he needed to keep track off.
So far this evening had turned out wilder then he'd ever thought possible. The wild chaos magic had him seriously impressed. And from time to time he had to intervene to keep people from getting hurt. Luckily the small children turned demons were too small to really harm most people but to be sure he had managed to stun most of them and put them in front of Sunnydale High.
Xander's disappearance below ground did concern him though. His tracking abilities below ground was limited thanks to that accursed Hellmouth.
Then his scouter went off. A large power was approaching. A very large power. Belmovekk turns towards the north. Soon a white flash came into view that became Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans. And he didn't look very happy.
"Movekk," he yelled, "what in the Seven Hells is going on here! I sensed another Saiyan here. Where is he!"
"There is no other Saiyan," Belmovekk replied as Vegeta looked around, trying to sense the other Saiyan, "but there is magic here, my prince. Pure wild chaos magic. A chaos mage has unleashed more power then he thought was possible. So, for tonight only, a Saiyan Elite walks this earth. Even though he is, technically, still human."
"A Saiyan Elite?" Vegeta said as he looked up, "what are you talking about? How is this possible, Movekk!"
The Saiyan sorcerer gave a quick outlay on how he was hijacking the prank of a chaos mage into something more constructive for the long term.
"You are mad, Movekk," Vegeta said stunned afterwards, "how can you do such a thing! Why would you even do such a thing for a puny human?"
Belmovekk made a silent snort and pointed around him.
"Have you ever paid attention to this place, my prince?"
Vegeta looked down briefly. He hasn't really. He knew it was out here though. Unlike Kakarot who really was an ignorant fool about his own world Vegeta quickly learned the seedier underside of this world. Not that he really cared. Surpassing Kakarot was all that mattered to him.
"Of course I have, Movekk," Vegeta huffed, "it absolutely reeks of foulness. It just makes me sick to go there. It's also absolutely full of those, things."
"Then why did you not do anything about it, my prince," Belmovekk asked, folding his arms across his chest.
"I keep my own neighborhood clean, Movekk," Vegeta retorted, "its not my problem these Earthers can't keep their own house in order."
"These things are not supposed to be here, my prince," Belmovekk said, "this thing and these things are not supposed to be here. These people that I am trying to help need my help desperately."
"By turning them into their costumes? That is twisted, Movekk!"
"I know," Belmovekk replied and looked down again as his scouter caught a quick glimpse of Xander, "we all have to do things we do not like. We do what must be done to complete the mission, it is the Saiyan way."
Vegeta also folds his arms across his chest.
"And if it helps these shrimps so much," he asked curious, "why just the boy, why not that girl?"
"I do not know," Belmovekk said, "the boy is somehow special. For some strange reason only he will retain anything useful from it. The rest will just forget, but not him."
"Then for his sake I hope he hurries up," Vegeta said smirking, "cause Kakarot and his gang are coming up fast."
Belmovekk expanded his scouter to wide scan and looked to the west. Vegeta was right. Several blips were approaching fast across the western ocean.
"It matters not," Belmovekk said as he reset his scouter back to narrow scan, "It will be over soon. The Watcher has been alerted and soon it will be over. He is already speeding towards the shop. In a few minutes it will be over."
From the other side of town came a large explosion as an old warehouse blew apart in a spectacular fashion.
"Is that the boy?" Vegeta asked.
"Yes, my prince," Belmovekk said with just a hint of pride, "he is hunting a particularly troublesome vampire."
"Disgusting creatures," Vegeta snorted, "San Francisco used to be full of them. One had even the gall to come to the Capsule Corp grounds."
"This is the only world that I know off that has them," Belmovekk remarked causing Vegeta to frown.
"I thought you wrestled demons on that world of yours? I heard something in that fashion from Bulma."
"Demons which I had to summon, my prince. They don't exist naturally there," Belmovekk said and pointed to his tattoos, "I did not get these for fun."
"Is that the boy?" Vegeta said and pointed as he saw Xander run across a street then dive into another manhole.
"Yes," Belmovekk said, "I think we should give him a little aid. If the Watcher breaks the spell he could find himself in trouble all alone."
"Speak for yourself," Vegeta snorted, "I'm going back, I have training to do. Your mess, you clean it up. This vile place makes me ill anyway. If you wish to help these people just blow it up. At least then you can start doing some really constructive. Like training for those androids."
"I will be there, my prince, and now if you excuse me," Belmovekk retorted, then dropped down to Xander's last location. He landed alongside the open manhole and jumped inside. The scouter immediately went haywire underground thanks to he Hellmouth's interference but Xander the Saiyan had a power that ran in the thousands. He can still be tracked if nearby. So Belmovekk wasted no more time and ran after Xander.
x
x
By now he must have killed dozens of these creatures, mostly underground. He knew there were many, many more. He lost the A.I. long ago, he no longer cared about her, nor the mission. Ever since he hit the sewers all that matters was the thrill of the hunt. That annoying Bleached One still eluded him, but he was hot on his trail. For some reason, even without a scouter, he can sense where that one is.
He crossed another underground corner, these sewers appear to be endless, and caught a glimpse of the Bleached One. To bad he had to make it past a group of other demons, huge horned beasts, apparently a family. They didn't take kindly to the passage of the Bleached One and when they saw him running after it they all turned their anger on him. Not that they would pose much problems, it's just that it meant yet another delay in getting the Bleached One.
With these demons he much preferred energy attacks. They become way too messy if you kill them by hand. He quickly charged some energy attacks and blasted the two smallest demons to pieces. The remaining three made a charge for him but he easily evaded them. They were big but they were nothing to him. A mouth blast took care of number three, that left only four and five. A kick sent number four to the furthest reaches of this cavern. He pummeled number five against the wall with a swift series of punches that had it gasping for breath. Enough time to charge an attack that vaporized it almost pointblank range. Now number four had gotten up again and roared defiantly.
"Time to die, bitch," he grinned evilly and pointed his hand to charge his biggest attack yet, "DIE!"
x
x
In a certain costume shop Giles grabbed an idol of Janus and smashed it hard against the floor, shattering into many pieces.
x
x
At 1630 Revello Drive Buffy opened her eyes into Angel's concerned face.
"Uh, Angel," she asked curious, "why are you messing with my costume, and why is Cordelia watching?
x
x
At the front porch of the house where Willow's body had lain it now started moving again. She yanked of the ghost sheet as she felt herself quite out of breath. When she was still a ghost she could run around town like some Olympic marathon runner, as she didn't need to breath. Now it felt like it she had run a marathon. As she got up she noticed how she was dressed and for a moment she desperately wanted to cover it up again. Then she thought better of it and threw the ghost sheet away.
x
x
"DIE!"
Xander the Saiyan's attack hit demon number four. The beast roared in pain, but does not die. Because unfortunately in an instant the attack went from strong enough to level a city block to just barely strong enough to piss of a very big and very strong demon.
"Oh shit, Xander muttered as he started to look for the exit in panic. Seeing that the way he came was still open he started to leg it.
"Holy lady of blasted acceleration don't fail me now," he muttered as he ran away as fast as he could.
Meanwhile the beast roared angrily. That manthing had just killed its mate and family and then hurt it. Filled with homicidal rage all it now wanted to do was rip its head off as it began to pursue Xander screaming bloody murder.
As Xander ran through the sewer he could hear the demon closing behind him.
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" he said terrified, "She's probably female as well!"
Xander ran past an underground crossing with another very dark sewer. Three seconds later his pursuing demon came by. Only now a hand came from the other sewer, grabbed the demon and yanked it into the other sewer. A few muffled noises followed, then a bone crunching noise, ending with the sound of ripping flesh.
x
x
The first thing the Scoobies did after the spell had broken up and after the children they were supposed to supervise had been returned home was to gather at the library. Xander had been the first there to arrive, although the right word to use in his case was the first to flee there, straight from the sewers. Willow arrived second, followed by Giles. Buffy arrived last with Angel, having dressed into something more like her normal attire, instead of the 18th century torture device that had been part of her dress.
Giles then proceeded to explain exactly what had happened with Ethan's spell.
"So that's how it happened," Giles said finishing off, only then to notice Xander's somewhat torn spandex and plastic armor costume, covered in dirt.
"If I may ask, Xander, what were you supposed to be?"
"You don't want to know," the young man said, pacing furiously, occasionally looking outside the window, like he expected someone to be waiting there for him.
"Xander was dressed as a Saiyan warrior," Willow said as she let herself fall into a chair, still exhausted, "he nearly killed Spike."
"Yet he did manage to kill the contents of my mom's entire fridge and everything edible in the house," Buffy said teasing, "enough food to last us a week. There's nothing left but a few frozen pizza's. How on earth did you manage to eat it all, Xan? Especially the raw meat?"
"I don't feel so good," Xander replied and clutches his stomach as well.
"You nearly tore of my head," Angel said, "you said I felt wrong."
"Well, you did feel all wrong. D.B," Xander replied uncomfortable as his stomach was really starting to act up.
"What on earth possessed you to dress as a Saiyan?" Giles asked.
"Hey, it wasn't my idea, right," Xander said as he pointed at Giles, "I planned to go as a soldier! It was Belmovekk and Buffy who made me do it!"
"I didn't tell you do dress as a Saiyan," Buffy said as the eyes of the whole room turned towards her, "I just told you to do what Belmo wanted you to do."
"Which just happened to be having to dress me as a Saiyan," Xander said, then he looked at Giles, "do you have anything for stomach pain?"
"In my desk, second drawer," Giles said, nodding towards his office.
"Thanks," Xander said grateful and raced into Giles' office.
"But was it so bad?" Giles asked after Xander, "For some strange reason nobody seems to have gotten hurt."
"I nearly got killed and I tried to kill my friends," Xander said vehemently from Giles' office, "I tried to kill Will, my best friend! If she hadn't been a ghost she'd be dead. Granted, technically she was already dead. If she hadn't tricked me into thinking she was some Saiyan hologram and that my mission was to protect Buffy a whole lot of people would have been dead."
"But without you being all Saiyan Spike would have come and killed Buffy," Willow countered.
Xander re-emerged from Giles' office carrying some Pepto-Bismol triumphantly.
"Spike could have done nothing, Will, he has no invitation to enter Buffy's home, remember?" he said as he swallowed some.
"Maybe not," Angel said, "but we did find several jerrycans of gasoline outside. If he had set fire to the house we would not have been able to hold out without Buffy."
"Who was all useless 18th century noblewoman and kept feinting, remember?" Willow added.
"Hey, you try wearing a real 18th century dress, that corset nearly cut me in half," Buffy countered, as she touched her sides, "my waist still hurts. And before anyone asks, no, that costume didn't come with a corset!"
"You killed five vampires, Xan," Willow said, "it was awesome. You even spit fire at one of them. Too bad Spike got away."
"If only I got him," Xander sighed, "then at least it would have been worth it. I went underground looking for Spike. I must have killed dozens of vamps and demons before my luck ran out. I was fighting these big demons, huge guys, yellow fur, big horns."
"Sounds like Mylar demons," Giles said impressed, "very strong, even a Slayer would think twice of taking one on. Relatively harmless unless attacked though."
"I took on five, G-man," Xander said, stealing a quick look out of the window, "I had already killed four and was about to kill the last one when, poof, suddenly Saiyan me was gone and old me was back. I came this close to dying. Bastard chased me throughout half the sewers."
"Well, um, that would have been me," Giles said apologetic, "if I had known of your predicament I would have waited smashing the Janus idol."
"It's OK, G-man," Xander replied as he falls down in the chair next to Willow, "story of my life. I will probably have a sad ending as well, but hey, at least there will be symmetry."
"I will not let that happen," Buffy said and hugged Xander.
"Nor will I," Willow said and hugged the both of them.
"Ah, group hug," Xander smiled.
"I must say, I'm um, flummoxed as to why Belmovekk wanted you to wear a Saiyan warrior's costume," Giles said puzzled, "that would imply that he knew what was going to happen."
"Speak of the devil," Angel said and nodded towards the library door, "look who walks in?"
It was Belmovekk wearing his scouter and carrying a large shopping bag.
"What have you done!" Xander yelled as he broke the group hug and stormed up to the Saiyan, "you nearly got me killed?"
Belmovekk looked Xander straight in the eye and snorted.
"You? A Saiyan Elite? I do not think so young man. For one night, besides me, you were the biggest and baddest to stalk the Hellmouth."
"I'm not even talking about that," Xander yelled, "I'm talking about what happened afterwards!"
"Oh, you mean this," the Saiyan said and rummaged inside his shopping bag, only to take out a large yellow furred and horned demon head, yellow blood still dripping from the neck. Casually he puts the head on the table.
"T-t-that's a Mylar demon's head," Giles said shaken, "on my table."
"Uh, gross," Willow said as the head lies to close to comfort.
"I'll take your gross and raise it with yuck," Buffy said.
"See! You were never in any real danger," Belmovekk said like nothing was wrong.
Xander just eyes the head up close.
"Are you sure you got the right one?" he said wearily, "It doesn't look as big as I remember."
While Belmovekk explained to Xander what fear and adrenaline do to perception under duress Giles recovered from the shock of seeing a demon's head dumped on his table.
"I-i-if you knew this was going to happen you s-should have told us," Giles said accusingly at the Saiyan.
"It would have been the right thing to do, Master Giles," Belmovekk agreed, "but it would have been a waste of a perfectly good opportunity."
"An opportunity of what?" Giles said incredulously, "Mess with Xander and dump heads on my table?"
The Saiyan shook his head
"To radically increase the good Xander here."
Five pairs of eyes look surprised at Belmovekk.
"What do you mean by that?" Giles asked, "when the spell went down everything returned back to normal."
"Well, uh, not exactly," Xander coughed. All his friends start looking at him funny.
"Well, I, uh, sort of, remember stuff," the young man finished
"Like what?" Belmovekk said in a strange, almost hungry way. Like he knew the answer.
"I, uh, remember everything that guy was," Xander said hesitantly, "what he had done, the people he had killed. It's not very pretty."
"Does anyone else remember anything from their possession?" Giles asked.
"Don't look at me," Willow said, "I was just a ghost version of me. Buffy here got the whole 18th century noblewoman treatment."
"Well, I remember some stuff," Buffy said as the eyes of the room fall on her again, "mostly French words. Parlez vous Français? But it's fading fast. I can't even remember what her name was or what she was like."
"Oh, I definitely remember," Xander said, "and too much stuff I'd wish I would never have to remember."
"Saiyan Elites were the most gifted, but also the most brutal in battle," Belmovekk said sympathetic, "naturally they were heavily involved in many cleansing operations. And enjoyed it."
"Cleansing sounds so much more nicer then genocide," Xander snorted.
"Call it genocide then," the Saiyan shrugged, "it was what my people used to do. I can not wave a magic wand and change history. I wish I could. It would help me sleep better at night. But you do not have to feel ashamed, young man. It was not you who did any of it."
"That was a terrible thing to do, Belmo," Buffy said, "to give him those memories. And for what?"
"We'll see," the Saiyan said and suddenly attacked Xander. Before anyone else could react Xander moved to block the punch. The Saiyan followed up with a lightning fast kick that also got blocked.
"Holy shit," Xander said, he himself even more surprised then the others.
"It looks like you retained more then just a few bad memories," Belmovekk said as he began to smirk, then he continued the attack. Kicks and punches get traded with so much force that things start fly around from the amount of chi that got thrown around.
"Enough," yelled Giles, "not in my bloody library you won't!"
"Oh, you've definitely retained more then you thought, young man," Belmovekk said as he steps back, "I think your strength must have quadrupled. Also your technique has improved. Give me an energy attack!"
"No! Not in my library," Giles yelled again, but too late. Xander pointed his right hand at Belmovekk and effortlessly shoot an energy beam at the Saiyan who shrugged off the beam without any effort. Luckily for Giles the beam isn't strong enough to cause an explosion.
"Even I can't do that yet," Buffy said, both impressed and complaining.
"And can you fly?" Belmovekk asked.
Xander looked at his feet and started to concentrate. It wasn't easy but he knew how it worked now. Sweat started to appear on his forehead, then lift off followed as he managed to push enough of his chi downwards to lift of from the ground by a few inches. Then a big smile appeared on his face. Belmovekk nodded approvingly. It was still crude, but Xander had gotten the basics down.
"Good, very good, young man," Belmovekk said impressed, "If we work on increasing your power we will have you flying for real in no time."
"And me?" Buffy whimpered, "When do I get to fly?"
Belmovekk gave her a smile that basically said 'not anytime soon'.
"You have to learn to walk before you can run, young lady. I'm sorry. It will take some more time for you."
"It's not fair," Buffy muttered as Angel gently squeezes her shoulders, "why didn't you tell us about the spell? I could have worn something better then that noble woman's costume. Are there no Saiyan warrior women?"
"There were," Belmovekk replies as he looks lost in thought, "many Saiyan women fought in our wars. The 7th regiment had more then 30% women if I remember correctly. But unfortunately it does not work like that, young lady. You would have forgotten everything eventually. For some strange reason Xander is unique. I do not know why but I intend to find out."
"I-I shudder to t-think what, um, having two wild Saiyans w-would have done to Sunnydale," Giles said who is polishing his glasses like a madman, "no matter the benefits, the usage of chaos magic is highly irresponsible. Not something to be t-trifled with. We should have been warned so we could have stopped it in time from happening. At the very least you should have given us a warning to prepare. And how on earth did you even know what was going to happen in the first place?"
"Simple," the Saiyan replied, "one of the Necessities told me what was going to happen. I suspect it was the Dark one, it seems to have an even greater sense of quirky humor then his Light counterpart. In fact the only reason why I was told anything was to help Xander. Remember our conversation the other day, young man? We had eavesdroppers. They seem to like you."
"As to why I did not tell you guys, firstly having advanced knowledge runs the risk of changing everything when you know things will work out fine. Secondly, the Necessity forbade me too. So I took advantage of a golden opportunity. Now Xander can fight alongside you more equally. Is that not better in the long run?"
"But you had no right to do that," Buffy said shaking her head.
"Why not, young lady," Belmovekk asked somewhat surprised.
"Because I'm the Slayer," Buffy said vehemently, "it is my task!"
"Said who, young lady," Belmovekk snorted as he folded his arms across his chest, "a bunch of long gone dead guys? Fuck them! You may have been chosen by forces unknown to fight, but he chose it of his own accord. He has every right to fight for what he considers is right. And who said it should only be you? The way I see it you need all the help you can get. You need more Xanders, not less."
Nobody has ever talked to her like that who wasn't an enemy and Belmovekk's words hit her like a brick. Also hearing the formal Saiyan, who never swore, not even when she had been screwing up her exercises or done her best to drive him up the walls.
"No, it can't be," she said shocked, "I'm….."
"He's right, Buff," Xander interjected, "what he did, it's a good thing."
Buffy couldn't believe her ears as she looked in the face of her best male friend.
"No Xan," she said shaking her head, "at what price? Those terrible memories? We should ask Giles to find a way to undo what has been done."
"No," Xander said vehemently as he shook his head, "I absolutely forbid this. There will be no undoing. When I first learned of your secret and after they killed Jesse I swore an oath to be with you fighting Them until the end, Buff. I will die fighting besides you or we will go down fighting together. I can live with that or you being the strongest. I even like that in a woman, but I will not let you shut me out when I have every right to fight Them. I will not become the guy whose job it is to only bring twinkies."
"But Xand," Buffy pleaded, "you deserve a shot at a normal life."
Wrong answer as Xander changed face from seriously pleading to highly infuriated.
"You dream happy dreams of being that LA cheerleader again, Buff," he snorted, "just because that is your particular fantasy doesn't make it mine. You wanna know what a normal life for Xan the Man means?"
"Hey dad, I'm home!" he said looking to the left.
"Shut up you no good piece of shit! (burps)" he said with a different expression looking to the right.
"OK, I'll go to my room. (tries sneaking to his room)"
"Why did you have to turn into such a no good loser, Alexander? All you ever do is costing me good money and hang out with your no good friends."
"Don't insult my friends, dad!"
Bam! (Xander pretended to fall over as if punched in the gut)
"You're such a disappointing waste of breath. Now fuck off! Yo, bitch, bring me another beer!"
Having stopped his little pantomime he looked at Buffy again.
"That is a normal life for me, Buff. Although these days I just pretend to get hurt. Is that what you want for me?"
"No," Buffy said sullen, "but….."
It was Angel of all who came to Xander's defense.
"Let it go, Buffy," he said.
"But."
"Let it go," Angel said as he put his hand on her shoulder to turn her around, "Xander has made his choice freely. That is more then they gave you. Respect that decision. The freedom to make such a decision is what you fight for in the first place."
"Alright," she said defeated.
Even though part of him hated it that it was Angel of all people that talked some sense into Buffy, the vampire did grew considerably in Xander's esteem.
"I really do not understand you people," Belmovekk said somewhat befuddled, "I can understand that you did not like me keeping you in the dark but if a golden opportunity lands in your lap, how can you not use it?"
"Because there are all sorts of other issues at hand," Giles said, feeling more and more worked up, "we have to consider the greater balance of things."
"What greater balance?" Belmovekk asked flabbergasted.
"The balance between good and evil," Giles said as he gestured around him, "if either good or evil gets the upper hand things will get serious out of hand."
The Saiyan's mouth falls open as if not knowing what to say. Then he gathered himself.
"Said who? No offense, Master Giles, but you guys are fighting a losing war. By the Gods, demons inhabit this world and you act as if this is natural! Where I am from the Gods themselves intervene if any demon enters our realm unfettered. I do not know of any other world in the universe where demons live as if they own the place."
"That is because demons used to roam….."
"Yeah, the earth is older the we think speech," the Saiyan said in disgust, "but guess what, Master Giles, so am I. See this tattoos? That's worth 3700 years experience of summoning demons and studying demon magic. I may not be the best sorcerer but I know my demons. And I know they are most definitely NOT from this dimension."
"Still, it's highly irresponsible."
Giles got cut of by Belmovekk as he holds up his hand.
"You mistake me for some frail human, Master Giles, because I try to be polite. But I am still Saiyan. I was not born Belmovekk, sorcerer extraordinaire, I was born Movekk, son of Rabar of the house Rabar on Vegetasei. I will use whatever weapon, whatever means, whatever strategy and whatever tactic I have to win. I would rather have sleepless nights over what I did then over what I failed to do."
"So the end justify the means?" Giles said, not liking what he heard.
"In a fight for survival? Damn straight it would. In the end there can be only one! You talk about fighting a war between good and evil but at the same time you do not seem to be wanting to win it either. You are not fighting a war, and we Saiyans know everything about fighting a war. You are just trying preserving the status quo. And a very bad one to boot. Fuck balance! My idea of war does not involve sending endless successions of teenage girls to fight alone in the dark against things that have no business being here. If it were me I would plan to win this war and either send these things packing to whatever sorry dimension they came from or eradicate them down to the last one!"
"I so dig that mission statement," Xander said in support.
"Xander, not now," Giles said annoyed, "this is."
"This is as good a time as any, Giles," Xander said, all traces of the goofball gone, "while this may go against everything you've learned, studied and trained for, but Belmovekk is right. Girls like Buffy shouldn't have to go out and die alone, friendless and forgotten in some faceless piece of chess between good and bad. Your much beloved prophecies, the one that was supposed to be never wrong said that Buffy would die by the hand of the master. And you guys did nothing because some stupid old book said so. And I proved that stupid old thing wrong. The B-man is right, you don't win wars by sticking to the rules, you win them by breaking them, you fight dirty, change the rules on them."
"Uh, look guys," Willow said, "it's late. Before we go all wild bunch on each other, how about we call it quits, right? Everything will look much better in the morning."
x
x
Everyone had gone home except for Giles and Buffy, doing a last minute patrol.
"I think we may have made a mistake in accepting Belmovekk's aid," Giles said after a long while in which they said nothing.
"That's easy for you to say, Giles," Buffy replies, "but his training has definitely given me a better chance to survive."
"I know, Buffy" Giles said as he looks around, "it's just that, um, there may be some irreconcilable philosophical differences. What he did to Xander was inexcusable."
"Well, if Xander is happy with it," Buffy shrugged, causing Giles to stop in his tracks.
"That is not a good justification, Buffy. I'm also worried where his great crusade is going to lead us. The great balance doesn't just exist for nothing."
"Color me indifferent on the great balance, Giles," Buffy said as she gestured around her, "all it has given me is a lot trouble and grief. Right now the idea doing a 180 on fate does have its appeal. For all we know the promised land lies on that other side. Didn't you hear, Giles, there are no demons elsewhere in the universe, they shouldn't even be here. To me that idea has more appeal then some stupid balance thingy."
Giles sighed and pinches the bridge of his nose, just above his glasses.
"But what if he's wrong, Buffy, and everything goes haywire?"
"And what if the Master had really killed me," Buffy countered, "or I die tomorrow in some stupid fight, all in the name of balance? What does the great balance matter to those who are dead, Giles? I say, we see things out for now. We can always go our separate ways if Belmo really goes maxi wig on us."
x
x
In the comfort of his new home, Belmovekk the Saiyan opened his big shopping bag on the dinner table and took out a bottle of hard liquor and stared long and intently at it. Then he picked it up and threw it against a wall, shattering the bottle and spraying alcohol everywhere.
"FUCK!" he screamed
He then began to pace back and forth, then he sat down and stared at the wall for ten minutes. Then he sighed and got up. In the kitchen he got a glass and from the shopping bag he took another bottle.
x
x
AN 2017: No major changes in this chapter, except some stuff was added to the Belmo/Xander scene at the start. For some strange reason as I'm adding stuff I'm developing a cookie fetish. Other then that lots of changing things to the past tense, as it kept skipping back and forth between past and present tense.
