Chapter 9:
Catch The Reference
"Talk" 'Think' "Dragon/demon speech" 'Dragon/demon thoughts'"Spells"
We find our beloved Zeke sitting atop the structure of the partly rebuilt guildhall, a little juice box in hand as he welded beams together, "So, why is Zeke welding beams together?" Gray asked Makarov as they watched Zeke. "The steel will hold better in the long run, right Zeke!?" Makarov called up, "That's right Old Man! Jet fuel won't melt these steel beams!" Zeke yelled back, "What?" Gray wondered, "Nothing!" Zeke yelled, going back to welding, "Aw shit! I'm out of juice!" he yelled, another juice box hit him in the head and he caught it. Zeke looked down to find Ur standing there with a smile, "Another one!" another juice box hit him in the head, "Another one!" again, juice box off the head, "Another one!" he called, "HOW MANY DAMN JUICE BOXES DO YOU NEED!?" Ur finally shouted, "A case!" Zeke shouted back and just as he wanted, a case of juice slammed into him and threw him off the structure. *WHAM* Zeke smashed into the ground and broke his spine, "Owie… you didn't have to hit me so hard with it!" he shouted, realigning his spine and standing up, "Sorry, you wanted a case of juice." Ur said, going back to the work she was doing, "Sorry, you wanted a case of juice, mehhhh!" Zeke mimicked, picking up his juice and wall running back up to his position.
After working till the sun started to set, Zeke sat on the far side of the building, watching the sun set, down by the beach he noticed someone sitting in the sand and leap off the guild hall, landing silently on the sandy shoreline. "Beautiful sunset isn't it?" Zeke asked, sitting down next to them, "Yeah… it is…" they mumbled, "So, why are you sitting alone down here?" he asked, pulling the hood of their cloak down, "NO, I don't want you to see me Zeke!" she yelled, keeping her hood up, "Hailey, don't worry about it, what do you think I'm going to do? Leave? Make fun of you? I'd rather permanently die, let me see." Zeke told her, slowly bringing the hood back down. "They hit me so hard that sometimes, I thought I might never see again… or live…" Hailey whispered, her face was quite bruised and her left eye was black, her forehead had bandages around it, "I went to see the old lady Makarov never told me about but I knew about her from being around here before. She gave me this stuff." Zeke said, pulling out a small bottle, he undid the cork and undid the glove on his suit, pouring some of the gel onto his finger. He proceeded to put little dabs on her bruises and her eye, everything slowly healed back to normal, "There, perfect." Zeke grinned, putting the bottle back into his belt and fixing his glove, he then pulled a giant wall mirror out and set it in front of Hailey, "Zeke…. Thank you." She sniffled, looking at her reflection, "It's actually a one way mirror window, hang on." Zeke adjusted the mirror a bit and then sunlight came through, illuminating her brightly, "There, just like an angel." Zeke commented, smiling broadly, tears streamed down her face, "Zeke, you're the best, like the brother I never had… thank you so much, I love you!" Hailey ran over and hugged Zeke. "We're talking brotherly love right?" Zeke asked, "Yes you dummy, I like younger guys." Hailey giggled, "Good cause I like older women." Zeke sighed in relief, hugging her back, he had let go of the mirror and it fell over, shattering on the tiniest of pebbles on the beach, "Damn it." He cursed, pulling out a vacuum and cleaning up the broken glass, Hailey looked extremely confused, "Why do you just have these things?" she asked, "Emergency purposes! Never go anywhere without everything you own being shoved up your ass or wherever you keep it! In my case, I got my belt." Zeke explained, stuffing the vacuum into his belt. Hailey sighed and just started walking away, "What?" Zeke asked, following after her, "You're such a weirdo…" she sighed, "Hey, you're stuck with me now!" Zeke laughed, he bothered her the whole way back to his apartment.
"UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WERE IS THIS GUY!?" Zeke screamed, sprinting through the streets of Magnolia-
"Shouldn't you explain why I'm doing this?"
No, I don't need to if people already know what happens.
"I will then, see an hour after I reached my place, Natsu came out of god knows where and told me our guild member Loke was out and about, saying he had quit the guild, me being me decided I should question him myself!"
Goddamn it, back to what's happening.
As Zeke sprinted through the streets, he came upon a remote trail, stopping in his tracks he started sniffing the air, "That way!" he bolted down the trail, a sudden burst of magical light in the distance reinforced his resolve to get there, speeding up his already abnormal sprinting speed. When he stopped, he found a large waterfall with a long spike extending into the center, from the spike came Lucy, "Shit, what did I miss!?" Zeke shouted, "Nothing, Loke's safe, come one Zeke, let's head back, thanks for helping." Lucy said, walking past him, "Ughh, I wasted so much energy to get here, I'm teleporting, bye!" Zeke vanished in a teleport, leaving Lucy to walk all the way back, "W-WOW! You couldn't even ask if I wanted to go with you!?"
The Very Next Day…
Zeke went over to the job board as he partially listened to Loke talking behind him, he browsed several jobs before settling on one, "Du du du du, ba du baaa!" he sang, holding the flyer up to Makarov before going to fetch his team. "Zeke, when do I get my explanation?" Makarov called, "When I get to explaining. See ya!" Zeke called back, finding Ur and Hailey at a table, "Heeyy! I found a job we can do, let's go!" he slapped the flyer down in front of them, "Can you read? It says one wizard only." Ur pointed out the really fine print near the bottom, "Fuck… stupid septic eye… I mean, Solid Eye. Damn it Jack…" Zeke mumbled to himself. "What?" Ur asked, "Nothing… I guess one of you can go then…" Zeke sighed, sitting down next to them, "No, you go Zeke, Ur and I are going shopping!" Hailey exclaimed with stars in her eyes, "Okay… SEE YOU LATER THEN!" Zeke grabbed the flyer and bolted off, coincidentally running in the same direction Natsu and his team went in, "Did that flyer have the same resort on it as the one Loke sent Lucy and the others to?" Ur wondered, "I don't know! Let's go shopping!" Hailey responded, tugging on Ur's wrist, "Okay, okay!" they headed off into town, noting the dust trail exiting the city.
A Few Days Later…
Zeke tripped on a rock as he entered the lobby of a resort hotel with a casino, several people watched the eccentric man bounce off the floor and land roughly with his back bent over the lobby counter. "I'm here for this job." Zeke announced, holding the flyer over the counter, looking up at the man behind it, "Sir, are you okay?" the man asked, "Yep, never better! Now what do I do? This thing said it needed some welding done and some other… stuff…" Zeke said, reading the flyer upside down. "Ah, perfect! Come with me then!" a different looking employee exclaimed, his tag read "Jon" and he had a red vest unlike the other blue vests, "Jon? Are you some supervisor?" Zeke asked, standing up off the counter, "Yes I am! Please, come with me mister….?" Jon trailed off, "Call me Deathtrap." The lobby went silent after the mentioning of Zeke's famous title, "O-Oh… it's nice to meet you Mr. Deathtrap… please, come with me…" Jon said shakily, leading Zeke outside and into a construction zone, "I didn't think the famous mercenary Deathtrap would work for Fairy Tail, it's surprising to say the least." Jon commented, "I know, weird right? I don't know how it happened either but, can't say I hate it!" Zeke exclaimed, grinning stupidly. "Right…" Jon sweat dropped, "Okay, all you need to do is weld all of these beams together, our welder quit and we couldn't find another one so we sent out that flyer…" he explained, gesturing to the large structure they now stood under. "Okey dokey! I'll be done in a jiffy!" Zeke exclaimed, jumping up the structure, "I'll be down here supervising!" Jon called up, waving as he went to sit down, "Welding, welding, I weld you face together and your ass apart!" Zeke sang, starting his welding, "WELDING!"
Several grueling hours later after listening to Zeke sing as he welded, Jon handed the insane Magma Slayer his payment, "Four hundred thousand Jewel… thank you Mr. Deathtrap…" he muttered, "Thanks! Have a good one!" Zeke started walking away, "Kill me…." Jon fell over on the bench, "Nope!" Zeke shouted back, "UGGHHHHHHHHH!"
Zeke smiled as he counted his money, stuffing it in his belt afterwards, he was about to leave when a certain sound reached his ear, "Casino…" he started wandering towards the casino-
Yes my poor readers, Zeke has a gambling problem…
"No, I like to gamble a little."
He blew fifty thousand Jewel on a vending machine.
"It was thirty!"
Close enough.
"Shut up!"
No, what about the time you blew six hundred thousand Jewel on a rigged carnival game?
"WE AGREED TO NOT SPEAK OF THAT!"
Yeah… okay…
Zeke sat down at a blackjack table, his eye alight with excitement, "Deal me in!" he announced, he spun in a circle and all of his gear and his suit vanished, being replaced by a nice black suit and a red tie, his hair slicked back and a normal eye patch on. "Sure thing!" the dealer exclaimed, tossing cards down for Zeke, "Hmm…" Zeke took a hard look at his cards, the other two players were taking their sweet time, "Zeke?" one asked, "Huh? OH HEY ERZA!" he shouted, "Hi…" Erza mumbled, "Oh, and Lucy!? What are you two doing here?" Zeke asked, grabbing a drink off of a random tray that walked past. "Loke gave us tickets to go here with Natsu and Gray, what about you?" Lucy asked, "I did a job here, it said I could stay if I wanted to for a day so, I'm gonna win some more money!" Zeke cheered, chugging his glass, they smiled before going through their turns, Lucy busted, Erza stayed and Zeke…. "BLACKJACK!" he yelled, slamming on the table with glee. "AW YEAH!" Zeke got up and danced a bit before spinning back into his seat, "Damn! I knew I was good! Wait a second…" he stopped moving and stared at Lucy and Erza, "I can't believe it… I didn't notice how hot you two looked… I have dishonored myself…" he drooped in gloom. "Oh… it's okay, and thank you." Erza patted his shoulder, "Mehhhh….." Zeke whined, "Dealer switch…" he looked up and saw a blond, tan guy replace their dealer, "Hey Sister, we're going to play a game of…" he tossed out cards that spelled the word "Death" on them. "Sho?" Erza mumbled, staring at the new dealer with fear, "Hey, chop-chop! We got a game going!" Zeke exclaimed, slightly annoyed by the delay, "Just wait, I'll deal you your cards." Sho said, waving Zeke off, "Really? Then JUST DO IT!" Zeke yelled, flexing his arms down. "Sho, I- how did you…?" Erza stuttered, "Don't worry Erzy! We'll be heading home soon!" a different voice exclaimed, "Milliana!?" Erza cried, the cat-like girl tied restraints around Lucy's wrists, the two ignored Zeke, "What the fuck is going on?" Zeke asked, right before he heard anything else a bright flash went off, he reopened his eyes to find the ceiling. "What the fuck!?" he shouted, he watched the room go dark before coming back on, "Wha-? Where am I!?" Zeke screamed, he punched an invisible barrier, "Oh… that bastard used some card magic to stick me in a card… well, that won't stop me." Zeke grinned before spinning around again, he was then in his normal attire with the edition of a pink mustache that curled on the ends, "Damn it, I didn't want my damn warfstache!" he yelled, removing the fake mustache and putting it in his belt. "Now then…"
On the outside of the cards, Lucy got out of her restraints and was chasing after Natsu who had took off without her, slowly but surely one of the cards started glowing a bright yellow-orange before exploding with a massive magma column, "GRUAAAAAAAA!" Zeke yelled, his magma dying down, he broke free of the card and melted the ceiling of the casino. "Fucking queers! Locking me in a card! You'll eat shit for this one!" Zeke screamed, bolting out of the casino, right past Lucy, "What the? Zeke!?" she exclaimed, watching the insane man part the ocean with his speed and rage, the water steamed as he ran through it, "How…? How is he parting the sea?"
Zeke stopped running and kicked up a massive dust ball on the beach of an island, "What is this? The beach of Normandy?" he asked, seeing all of the armed men and barricades, "Whatever, time to kick some ass!" he charged the men that had started charging him and drew his Howitzer, "BYE BYE BITCHES!" he blew them away, destroying a part of the tower with them. "Hehehe… DIE QUEERS DIE!" he yelled in a southern accent, reloading his cannon and blowing away more cultist looking dudes, he put away the Howitzer before heading into the tower, jumping through the massive structure and blowing walls up with C4, he found himself in a massive room with several large bird cages. "HOOO HOOO!" someone yelled, Zeke ducked under a man with a jetpack, "HOO HOO! I am the great knight of JUSTICE Fukuro! You are the evil mercenary Deathtrap! I will defeat you in the name of JUSTICE!" an owl headed man shouted, landing on one of the cages, "HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!" Zeke shouted, his body starting to steam, "We'll see now won't we Deathtrap! COME AND FIGHT!" Fukuro screamed, blasting towards Zeke, "GLADY!" Zeke launched off of his platform, shattering it with a sonic boom, "TIME TO GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS BIRD BITCH!"
GWIHFQDJOPI8RHQIEFDBSVKHWUGFRHQIPEFWGUHOBJ
BOOM CLAP! THE SOUND OF MY HEARTBEAT MAKES ME GO NA NA NA NA NA!
This whole chapter had extremely easy to find references, I shall list them for some may have not found them, they go in this order:
9/11 conspiracy theory, Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams
DJ Khaled Motivational: Another One
Grand Theft Auto, where does the character store his weapons?
jacksepticeye
JUST DO IT Shia
Markiplier
Moses parting the Red Sea in the Bible
Normandy Invasion during WW2
Homophobic Southern Americans
Adel: Hello
Disturbed: Down with the Sickness
Charli XCX: Boom Clap
See you next time with more Deathtrap!
Zeke: That was amazing!
Me: I know right?
Zeke: Yes, I have to give you credit here, I love you!
Me: Okay… thanks.
Zeke: I'll take it!
Me: Okayyyyyy….
