Sorry for the delay in updates! Had a bit of writer's block, but I'm working through it!


IX

Learning to Hate

Guy could hardly remember a time when he had been so infuriated with Rebecca. She had always been obedient, (at least wherever he was concerned), and she never questioned his orders. Often she would forget her place, but never so boldly as she had last night. Sometimes she needed a swift reminder that she was no longer in a position to speak to him as if they were childhood friends sharing harmless and mischievous secrets. Why she insisted on shaming him he didn't know. He should have her flogged. This was what he had resolved himself to do upon rising that morning. He would march down straightaway, drag her from the manor, tie her to one of the posts in front of Locksley and have her switched from dawn until whenever he deemed she be cut down. This image soothed his anger as he stormed from his room.

Everything was an uncertain mess. He had the Prince's patronage, he had finally freed himself from the Sheriff's clutches. How had he repaid his new master? By failing at the first task that had been set before him. He tried to assuage his shame over his failure. It was not his fault that Robin Hood would forever prove as allusive as a shadow in the night. The man had the devil's luck. He should be dead countless times and he still managed to avoid execution. When the Prince arrived in Nottingham he would have to beg to be allowed to continue his hunt. Eventually, he would capture Robin Hood. He would have to, for now he was playing at an even deadlier game. The Prince was not like the Sheriff. Guy was positive he was halfway out of his mind. It was not his position to question the sanity of Prince John, though, he followed the orders that would give him power and standing in the twisting political waters of the court. A mad prince was no concern of his, that was, unless such madness seek to destroy him.

As if the coming of the Prince was the least of his newfound worries, he now had an equally pressing matter to attend to. This was a problem he never thought would ever crop up to become a thorn in his side. He kept telling himself he was paranoid, that there was no reason to even bother placing so much concern on this personal matter, but there was something most assuredly wrong and he had come too far and suffered far too much to see everything fall to ruin because of a familial nuisance.

Unfortunately there was only one person, perhaps, in the whole of Nottingham who Guy trusted enough to handle this grave situation. This person who no longer even wished to speak to him let alone follow one of his orders. Guy had prepared a mental argument in his mind as he walked down the stairs. He was steeling himself for a battle.

The dragon he sought to do battle with was just coming around the corner, out of the door which lead from the kitchens. Rebecca paused and looked up at him with a cool glance which burned with fire. He gulped at such a look, but then shook his head. Why should he feel ashamed of himself? He had yelled at her before and never once felt a drop of guilt over the exchange. So why did the most natural course of action feel like he should just open his mouth and say--

"I'm sorry."

Rebecca turned around at the sudden outburst. Guy looked away from her, as if he could not believe the words which had left his mouth. "What?" She was genuinely taken aback by his words.

Guy stared down at the last step of the staircase. "You heard me." He grunted. He would not repeat himself, for to do so was to truly admit he had lost his sense and gone soft over a mere servant.

Rebecca stared at him, her eyes searching his for a moment or two. For all of the anger and resentment flashing to the forefront of her dark eyes she could not hide the deeply rooted affection she felt for him from her gaze. She still looked at him as if he was a ghost. He had only returned from the dead a day ago, he could not fault her for that.

"I wasn't looking for an apology from ya, master, if that's what ya think." Rebecca snapped.

"I know that." Guy shot right back.

"Just 'cause ya say you're sorry now doesn't mean I'm gonna forgive ya." She said warily.

"I know that you stupid--" Guy paused and licked his lips. An insult would get him nothing, and he needed this order carried out.

"If that is all, master?" Rebecca gave a small little bow, Guy could have winced at the mockery in the gesture.

"No that is not all." Guy barked. Rebecca raised an eyebrow in interest. "There is something I need you to do for me."

"I have already tended to the rest o' the servants, master, they know the Prince is coming. They are making the manor ready for him should he chose t' stay in Locksley for a time." Rebecca said curtly, parroting back his orders from the previous night with all the enthusiasm of a trained bird.

"There is something else I need you to do." Guy cut in.

"What would that be, master?" Rebecca crossed her arms.

Now that he had her attention, how to formulate the proper words to explain this? "Yesterday there was...a complication."

"Complication?" Rebecca echoed, curious of his meaning.

"Of a sort. This was something I thought I had taken care of years ago." He was making a fool of himself. Rebecca was not just another servant. She knew of whom he was alluding to. He should just tell her and have done with it, "My sister is back in Nottingham."

That got the woman's attention. She dropped her arms back to her side. "The little mistress?" She gasped. Of course Isabella would be nothing less than that to Rebecca. Why did he think this would be difficult?

He pretended her shock meant nothing, "Yes. She is under my care for now and she will need--"

"It is done." Rebecca blurted out knowing what he would ask of her. "Master, why did ya not tell me so before?"

"Because you were choosing to be difficult last night." Guy said.

"It was words which needed speaking, master. I'll not take 'em back." Rebecca said, her happiness at hearing of Isabella's coming to Nottingham vanished in an instant at Guy's reversal back to last night's argument.

"You're as stubborn as you are stupid." Guy said, feeling his anger roused again.

"Aye." Rebecca nodded, "But what I don't understand is what I ever did in all my stubborn stupidity t' make ya think I was worth nothing."

"You think my treating you as any other servant meant you were worth nothing?" He laughed, "Rebecca, you have been having delusions of grandeur."

She glared at him. "You don't think that in the lifetime I've known ya I didn't deserve some respect? I never expected ya t' look as me as a friend once ya came t' Locksely, but I at least thought I had earned some respect as a confidant if nothing else."

"You never could accept that things had to change." he growled out, feeling shame rising in him once again. "There are things that--"

"There was nothing ya could have confided in me that would have made me hate ya." Rebecca said, her voice cracking as she tried to keep a reign on her temper. They were not shut up in his room. Somewhere some sneaky maid or servant boy was bound to be listening to this. "It was only your silence which made every day here intolerable!" She shouted at last.

"Becca..." He slipped back into her nickname even though she had asked he never call her that again. He couldn't have prevented the slip. The indignation in her eyes was tangible. How had he never seen it before?

Rebecca shook her head, not yet ready to hear his excuses or all of his apologies (if there were any.) "I will do what I can t' help with the little mistress. Not for your sake, though, master, but for your sister's. Good day, master." She bowed once to him and then moved on with the rest of her chores.

Guy stood in silence at the bottom of the staircase staring off after her. It was then he realized for the first time since he had been a boy, how alone he felt once she had gone.

Winter, 1173

Guy tried not to think as he ran through Sherwood forest. Thinking was too painful. All he could see in his mind's eye was Gisborne Manor engulfed in flames. Flames that he had started. Everything had turned to smoke and ash and in his fear he couldn't face it. He couldn't handle the reality that had so swiftly turned him and his sister into orphans. He turned his back on it and walked away. Now, as the realization that he was not only an orphan, but a murderer as well began to sink in he had started to run.

"Guy!" Isabella squeaked as she tried to keep up with her brother, "Guy, slow down, please!"

He couldn't slow down. He had to get away from Gisborne, away from Nottingham, away from everyone who had shunned him from his own home. He was certain Longthorn would send soldiers for him. He was as good as an outlaw now after what he had done. He had to keep running.

"Guy!" Isabella wailed, "I can't run anymore..." The girl slowed her frantic pace to a slow walk, dragging her tired feet across the forest floor.

Guy turned around, seeing the distance he had put between him and his little sister. He thought he had been holding onto her hand all this time, but he must have let her go in his panic. He dashed back over to her and lifted the girl up into his arms and continued on his way. Isabella clung to her brother. "Where are we going?" She sniffled. She may be too little to understand the severity of their situation, but she was not so young as to realize that they had lost their parents.

"Away." Guy said breathlessly as he tried to regain his former pace, but that was impossible with his new burden.

"I don't want to go away." Isabella whined. "I want to go home!"

"We can't go home now, Isabella."

This was unacceptable news, "No!" She began to struggle in her brother's arms. "I want to go home! I want to go home!"

Guy tried to hush his sister, but Isabella was past the point of being coddled. She wanted something she knew she could not have, and she did not understand this. Her whines and shouts turned into tears and Guy had to put her down again. "We'll rest here for now." He sighed.

Isabella wasn't listened. Guy tried to wipe away her tears, but she squirmed away from him. "Stop crying, Isabella, you have to try to be brave now."

"I don't want to be brave!" She wailed, "I want to go home. I want Mother and Father!"

"I know, Bella, I know." Guy hushed.

Isabella shoved her brother away as he tried to hug her. "It's your fault!" She accused, her face crinkling up in anger. "You tried to hurt Malcolm with the fire. You did this!"

"No...no, it was an accident." Guy shook his head, "I was trying to protect you; to protect all of us." But he hadn't. He had killed everyone and he was the reason he had lost Gisborne.

"Go away!" Isabella screamed, "I hate you!" She didn't mean it, but she had to blame someone for her grief and Guy was the only one she could blame.

"Don't, Isabella..." His sister was all he had left. He couldn't bare her hatred too, even if it was only a child's grief.

She huddled up against the trunk of a tree, trying to inch herself away from Guy as much as possible. "I want Becca." She sniffled, her cheeks ruddy with tear stains and smoke.

He did too. She would know how best to handle Isabella. She could calm her and assuage her fears. She would calm his too, but what was the point in thinking of her? She was back in Gisborne and he couldn't go back there...or could he?

"Isabella," He knelt before his sister trying to get her to look at him, "Isabella, listen to me."

"Go away!"

"What if I went to get Rebecca? Would you like that, Bella?"

Isabella did look at Guy then, she nodded slowly. "You will have to stay here while I go. Do you understand?"

"I understand." Isabella said, her face grave.

Guy removed his cloak and draped it over his sister like a blanket. She clung to it and pulled it tightly about her. "Stay here, Bella, I'll be back."

"With Becca?" Isabella added, her voice trembling.

"Yes, with Becca." Guy smiled at her comfortingly even if he felt little confidence in this endeavor. He looked down at his sister one last time before he ran back to Gisborne.

He was doing this for himself as much as he was for Isabella. It would not be hard to find Rebecca. She would probably be with the rest of the villagers trying to clear the wreckage of the manor, or helping the others with the shock of the sudden loss of their masters. He doubted it would take much convincing to get her to come with him and Isabella. She would bring a sense of home with her, a sense of normalcy to all their lives.

Smoke still hung over Gisborne like a cloak of death. Guy felt himself grow dizzy as he caught sight of the burnt out embers of his home. He could not take but a few more steps before he fell to the ground and wretched in the realization of the destruction he had caused. He was a shaking wreck when he once again rose to his feet. He couldn't look at the ruins of the manor. What kind of man kills his own parents? He caught sight of the villagers as they trudged about trying to clean up the ash-strewn village. He narrowed his eyes as he watched them. Not like any of them tried to help him. They had rushed in with torches as well and escalated the flames. He never knew that they had grown to hate him and his family so much. Well, if they could hate so could he. It was a strange and uncomfortable feeling to hate so much. He was unaccustomed to such violence, and it felt as if he was being stabbed with a white hot sword.

He tried to scan the area for any sign of Rebecca, but he was unnerved to not see her or her mother anywhere. He needed information. He crawled his way over to one of the villager's homes. He unsheathed a dagger he wore at his side. It had been a gift from his father when he had been twelve, and it was the only weapon he had to his name. He might need it. He entered the small hovel and was relieved to see that no one was inside. He hid himself in the corner and waited for the peasants to return.

He did not have to wait long. An older man entered his house, wiping his ash covered hands onto his trousers. He had come back to fetch some tools to clear away the larger pieces of rubble. He had been expecting to find his old master waiting for him. He jumped back, a cry of surprise upon his lips.

Guy clumsily lunged for the man, bringing the dagger up this throat. His eyes were wide and his hands shook as he tried to steady the blade. "S-s-scream and I'll kill you." He choked out.

"I'll not scream." The man whispered quickly realizing his situation.

Guy did not remove the dagger, "Where is Rebecca Tanner?" he asked. If the man just answered him quickly he would leave.

"Rebecca?" The man questioned. Why did the master want anything to do with the servant girl? He felt the cold prick of the knife against his throat and suddenly he found it better not to question, but to answer, "She..she's gone to Locksley Manor. Master Robin took her and her mother with him."

"You're lying." Guy hissed. Rebecca would never to go with Robin.

"Swear to you that I'm not!" The man said. "Master Robin is the new lord of the manor now. Gisborne is part o' Locksley now."

"No." The blade shook in Guy's hands as a bolt of rage surged through him at this information.

"Please, my lord." The man pleaded, "Let me go. My wife an' I never helped with the fire. Please, if you leave now, I won't tell a soul you were ever here."

Guy shoved the man away from him. "You think you're so noble." He spat, his blade still pointed at the man, "Just because you didn't help burn my home to the ground. Where were you then when I was forced from these lands like an outlaw?! No, you were ready to stand with your precious Robin of Locksley." His face contorted in bitter rage. Anger robed him of the ability to speak further. He dashed from the villager's home like a blind man. He pushed the man out of his way in his haste, causing him to strike his head upon the wall opposite him. He fell to the floor unconscious.

Guy stumbled straight into the heart of the village. People stopped and stared at their former master. Guy looked at them all, his gaze veering from the bitterest anger to a plea for sympathy. One woman looked at the knife still in his hands and glanced at the home he had staggered away from. "He's gone an' murdered Thomas!" She shrieked.

"No, I didn't..." But his own voice slipped away from him as he noticed the hate filled looks the people were shooting at him. "I..." He watched as one of the villagers dashed into Thomas' home.

"He's all right." The man announced as he ran back out, "He's just hit his head. He's alive."

Guy thought this would take some of the edge off of the peoples' anger, but nothing changed. He tried to search the crowd for Rebecca or Gemma's face, but he did not see them. Maybe Thomas had been telling him the truth when he said they had gone with Robin to Locksley Manor. Why? Why would Rebecca leave so suddenly and so easily?

"You'd best clear out of here." One of the villagers said, "We don't need anymore trouble from your family."

Guy couldn't understand. This had been his home. He knew these people and they had known him since he had been a small boy. He always knew that there had been an undercurrent of resentment towards him because of his French blood, but he didn't know just how deep such resentment and anger went. "You'll pay for this." He snarled at the villagers, "All of you. One day I'll come back, you'll see. I'll make you bleed for everything you've done!" In his hatred tears were falling down his face. He could do nothing to stop them. He wished he could hurt them all the way that this hatred was hurting him.

He ran from Gisborne before the villagers could think to advance upon him and force him from the land. He had meant what he said. He would return one day and reclaim what was rightfully his. It was the only thing he had left to believe in. His father had taught him loyalty and honor, but what good were such qualities with the rest of the world sought only to deceive and betray? He could not even depend upon friendship, not anymore. He couldn't go to Locksley to get Rebecca. Perhaps he had been wrong about her as well. He didn't want to believe this; he found it impossible, but it was so much easier to hate everyone and everything that had to do with Gisborne he found his heart willing to turn his rage towards her. After all, if Rebecca had truly cared for him she would never have gone to Locksley willingly.

Guy fought to calm his mounting anger. It wouldn't be fair to Isabella if she saw him like this. He had to protect her now. She was the only family he had. As he approached the place he had left his sister, he saw her stir. She was bundled up in the cloak, her head just poking out. "Where's Becca?" She asked.

Guy shook his head, "She's not coming."

Isabella looked up at him in confusion for an instant before starting to cry. Guy wished he could hide behind such childishness and cry as openly as she could, but he had to be the strong one now. He sat down beside his sister and took her in his arms, hushing her. "It's all right." He said, "It'll be all right, I promise."

"Guy?" Isabella hiccuped, "I'm sorry about what I said. I don't hate you."

"I know, Bella."

"What are we going to do?"

"We'll figure it out tomorrow, hm? Why don't you just rest now?" Guy sighed. He felt Isabella nod her head against him. She curled up against him, offering him half of his cloak to share.

"I'll try to be brave for you." Isabella whispered. "Really, I will."

Guy managed a small smile at that. He was lucky to have such a strong little sister. They would find a way through this hell, he would make sure of that. Guy kept watch as Isabella dozed beside him. He would wake her in an hour or two and then they would have to move on again. He couldn't have slept even if he wanted to. Every time he closed his eyes he saw fire and heard the taunting voice of Longthorn ringing in his ears, That's right, go back to where you came from. News of your father's death won't have reached France by now!

That was it. France. Back to their mother's home! They could find a welcome there surely? Although Guy was no longer so certain of anything anymore. The wind howled through the forest. They would have to find a warmer shelter before nightfall or they would freeze to death; not that anyone would care. They were truly on their own now.


A/N: Things are about to get twisted, both in the present and in the past. Please do review and let me know what you think. :)