A/N: this chapter is dedicated to Sparky, since it's her birthday today. Hope you like your present!

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Kirk was freaking confused.

There had been many strange happening going on in the past few days. The Enterprise had left the space docks for the first time a week before, and then everything seemed to start going... Funky.

First, it had been the gifts. As it turned out, it hadn't just been he and Bones that were affected; it was the whole bridge crew. The gifts had ranged from anything to condoms to a playing of the original cartoon Alice in Wonderland on one whole wall of Spock's room (the only reason Kirk knew about that was because he'd been the one to fix it).

Then Porthos had re-appeared, which was odd in itself because the dog hadn't just re-appeared, Scotty's door had been opened and the dog had been let loose to wreak havok on the Engineer while he took his lunch break.

Which brought up the fact that Scotty hadn't even had a lunch break or Uhura for that matter. Why? Because someone had stopped their lift and released them half an hour later for reasons unknown. Kirk hadn't seen that particular vid yet, and honestly wasn't sure if he should.

Then, even after all that, there was one more weird thing. Like, really, really weird.

Spock and Uhura had broken up.

No, seriously. They'd split up. No one knew how or why (though there were of course rumors ranging anywhere from Spock being "emotionally compromised" to Uhura cheating on him with Scotty), but it had happened, and the universe hadn't ended or blown up yet. Although the Ambassador, when Jim told him, had said that he and Uhura hadn't even been involved. Ever. Which was interesting, but not really relevant.

So yes, a lot of weird crap was happening on the Enterprise. And, as far as his research could tell, there were no common-

"There we go!" Kirk exclaimed loudly, startling his knew yeoman on her second day as she handed him the padd's he'd passed off to her the previous day.

As it turned out, there had been a few crewmembers -seven in fact- who had "missed" the original shuttle's to their wonderful ship, and had come the exact day the gifts had turned up. The names of those on the shuttle were as follows: Patricia Hadley, Elizabeth Haversham, Nellie Reef, Addison DiNozzo, Kate Hatter, Naomi Burns, Margret Navii. Kirk looked up briefly to his yeoman. Wasn't her last name Burns?

"If that will be all sir?" Asked Burns, keeping an air of professionalism as she kept her eyes locked on the wall. Kirk really would have to ask her to stop that eventually.

Kirk nodded, giving a dismissive wave. The woman left without a word, letting the door shut behind her.

{][][}

"You okay Pavel? Ya seem kinda… down." Elizabeth said, putting down her padd. The Russian looked up, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

"Eet's… Eet's nozing." He said quietly, avoiding her gaze.

The (slightly) younger girl raised an eyebrow, and walked off. Chekov groaned loudly, hitting his head on the table. He was going to end up shooting himself with a phaser. Whether it was set on stun or kill depended on depended on if he talked to Elizabeth again.

The sound of a glass hitting the table met his ears, and he silently looked up.

"Stop sulking and tell me what happened dorogoi*." She said pointedly, pushing the glass of herbal tea closer to the teenager, genuinely interested in what was going on.

In the way a friend would be, Chekov reminded himself. "I told zou Elizabeth, eet's nozing." He said, pushing the tea away, even if it did smell good.

Elizabeth pushed the tea back at him. "And I'm telling you, Pav, that's a bunch of crap. Now what's wrong?" She questioned, thickening her Southern drawl as she pushed the tea back again. "And I told you my friends call me Liz." She poked him gently.

Chekov smiled slightly, coming out of his (admittedly) sulky mood, taking the tea. "I like kiitsu* better. Easier to remember." He chuckled, taking a sip of the tea. The flavors of honey and lemon met his tongue, and he smiled into the glass. "Sulu's been avoiding me." He said quietly, hoping she hadn't heard and would just let it go. Though, even though he'd only known her for a few days, he knew she wouldn't.

A flicker of rage came and went through dark brown eyes as she placed her hand on Chekov's shoulder across the table. "I have a friend in medical," she started, slowly, as though tasting the idea. "I could… ask her for… something, if you want." she grinned in a slightly evil manner, and had Pavel been standing he probably would have taken a step or two back.

"Zou… don't need to." He replied in the same slow tone.

"But you want me to." Elizabeth replied pointedly. "It's settled, I'll call my friend in medical." She scowled. "And I'll kill Anda while I'm at it too." Se muttered, almost too quiet to hear.

"Vhat?"

"Nothing, dorogoi!"

"Of course, kiitsu."

She smiled, walking around the table and giving him a (mildly awkward, but not really) one-armed hug. "This is gonna be fun." She whispered, her breath grazing his ear. Chekov shivered, watching her walk off, his eyes unwillingly drawn to her mini-skirt by his raging teenage hormones.

"Zou just met her!" He whispered to himself, hitting his head on his chair. "Sheet."

{][][}

"Meet me in rec. room eigh'. I think we have some things tha' -uhh- need ta get cleared up."

As soon as Uhura heard the message in an all-too-familiar Scottish brogue she had been intrigued. Yes, they had a few… things that needed sorting out, but did it really have to be so soon? Really?

Still, she went to rec. room eight (near empty) and walked over to the CEO, her face blank. Scotty was at a table, a glass of amber liquid in his hand. He smiled nervously at her over the rim of the shot. "Err… Hello, Miss Uhura." He said, downing the shot of liquid courage known as whisky.

Uhura sat down in the seat beside him, one eyebrow raised. "Yes, Scotty?" She questioned, eyeing the bottle of whisky on the table, wondering how many shots were missing.

"Ah-Ah I was jus' wonderin'…" He trailed off, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Durin'- durin' tha' kiss… did ye feel… anything'?" He looked up, biting his lip as he poured himself another shot, downing it in less than a second. Uhura stiffened.

How did you respond to that?

Honestly, she had just broken up, she'd had a horrible day after It happened, and now she was asking her if she'd "felt anything"? Granted, she had, best kiss ever, but she still didn't know how to answer. Seriously, she didn't want Scotty to be the re-bound, especially considering how sweet he could be. It would just hurt and cause more doubt when and if (the if coming from the "if they started dating") broke up. She didn't want to do that to him.

But it had been a really good kiss. A lot better than any time she'd kissed Spock, and there had been sparks.

"Something, yeah." That was safe, right? Not a good or bad thing, just a something. That worked, right?

"Oh… Okay then." He said awkwardly, getting up and leaving without a word.

Uhura vaguely wondered if she should have mentioned the sparks.

{][][}

Spock wasn't sure what to think of it. He didn't even have a response.

"Your Captain is in love with you." Said the science officer at his door. "Just though you would want to know."

He stares, both eyebrows up to his hairline, as the girl leaves.

Well…

That was…

He can't even think after that news. It doesn't matter if it may or may not be true, even someone going off a rumor was, well, mind-boggling.

So he walks back into his room, and goes into a deep meditation. Because, really, what else is there to do other than confront Kirk himself? And not even Spock was going to do that, especially not without sufficient data.

So he meditates. He thinks on this possibly true knowledge. Most importantly, he tried to keep his head clear during this contemplation.

{][][}

"I do not like this ship, I do not not like it, I'm only doing this because it's funny." Kat glared at her roommate briefly. "You ruined my Alice quote idea."

Banbi waved dismissively. "I know, and I'm sorry. You can keep up the Alice thing the next time you see him." She paused, signing off on another forum (which Kirk pawned off on her. Again) with a roll of the eyes. "The Captain's on to us, by the by."

Kat stopped dead in the awkward position of taking off her science blues, her head covered and arms stretched above her head. "Jim's what?" She questioned, and continued undressing on her way to the bathroom. She's down to her underclothes in the bathroom by the time Banbi answers.

"Jimmy's on to us. Connected the dots with the gifts and us getting on the Enterprise. Kept giving me suspicious looks through my whole shift." she signed off on another form just as the sonic showers got going.

"Don't tell Piki!" Kat called over the noise pointedly. "She'll be crushed to know her hacking skills failed us!"

The older girl nodded despite the fact Kat couldn't see her, signing off on letting Scotty re-program the replicators, She didn't even read the report, just saw "Scotty", "re-program" and " all replicators" and assumed that there would be some very tasty sandwiches in the future of the crew. Really, if Kirk hadn't wanted it signed, he should have read it himself. But he hadn't, so it was up to her judgment. If Kirk didn't like it, he could always ship her back to Earth. Not a good prospect, but it was always an option for the Captain.

It wasn't long before Kat came out, a nightgown that seemed to be driving her crazy (much like the mini-skirt) dragging on the floor behind her.

"That's the one thing I don't like about the Enterprise now that Spuhura's gone." She muttered, plopping into bed unceremoniously.

"What?" Asked Banbi, having not heard.

"The sonic showers." Kat clarified. Or, she would have clarified if Banbi had heard the original statement.

The yeoman just shrugged it off, going back to her (Kirk's) paperwork.

{][][}

Sparky was in a rather good mood as she walked back to her room. She'd called of Piki for a couple Vicodin (they still had it in the future), saying it was for a friend she'd made on the ship with a headache and a sprained ankle. Piki, quite obviously, didn't believe, her, but gave her the pills anyway, mostly out of morbid curiosity for what she would do with it. So Sparky did what anyone would do with the Vicodin… She spiked Sulu's coffee. He'd be loopy for the rest of the day, possibly hallucinate, and definitely be high on the job. She just wished she could watch.

Even better, Anda was on beta shift, so she wouldn't know that Sparky had messed with her charge (they weren't even really focusing on their charges; just general havok).

The only thing that could dampen her mood was what she walked into her room to.

Spockfish was waiting, glaring at the door with a taser in hand. Where she'd gotten the taser, Sparky didn't want to know, though she had an idea considering Spocky was their thief, and what she was planning on doing with it was an even worse concept.

"Don't," Spocky growled. "Pursue. Chekov." Sparky rolled her eyes.

"I'm not. I am, however, helping him get revenge on Sulu for what Anda's messed up." She walked over to her suitcase - her good mood evaporated - and looked around for something. "Have you seen my cell? I need to call Neal." To tell him I might not be coming home because my obsessed roommate is going to kill me in my sleep, she added mentally, her inner-tone sarcastic to a fault.

Spockfish grabbed said cell phone out of her pocket. "No flirting with Chekov and you get it back." She said, turning on the taser threateningly.

The phrase "don't tase me, bro" came to mind.

"I wasn't flirting with him." Sparky replied, shrugging.

"Oh, you were so flirting with him! I told you, he's mine."

"Uh, no, I wasn't. Now can I please have my phone back so I can call Neal?"

"Uh, yes, you were! You nearly kissed him for the Enterprise's sake!" Spockfish argued, waving around the taser as if to illustrate her point.

Sparky sighed. "Fine, I won't flirt with him. Can I have my damn phone?" She asked, resisting the urge to snatch it from the (slightly) younger teen's hand.

Spockfish tossed it over, still glaring.

Sparky rolled her eyes, pressing speed dial two.

"Hey Neal! I didn't call while you were at work, did I?"

{][][}

Anda never realized how well she got along with Mags until that moment.

They were both in one of the more popular rec. rooms, each with a non-alcoholic drink of some sort in their hand, pointing out the bridge crew and the hot guys, rating on a scale from Chekov -being lowest but still cute- to Spock - which was, of course, the highest.

"Oh, he's a Scotty." Mags said, tilting her head in the direction of some yellow shirt playing pool. "Not bad, just not good." Anda nodded in agreement, looking in the same general direction.

"What about his friend?" She asked, noting the blue-shirt beside him. "I'd say he's at least a Sulu."

"Meh, I'd give him more of a McCoy, wouldn't you?"

"I believe that question was already answered by my rating him Sulu."

"Point."

They really were having fun. Unwinding after a long-ish day, getting to know another of the fangirls they hadn't been particularly acquainted with.

And they were rather similar in their taste in guys and drinks.

"Oh, he's somewhere between Kirk and Sulu." Mags said eagerly, winking at a red shirt that passed. Anda laughed.

"Don't tell Piki that; I think that was Riley."

"No way!" Mags said in a disbelieving tone. "That was Riley? He's hot in this universe!" She gaped as the engineer walked past them, eyes wide in astonishment.

"Yup, that was Riley. I worked with him briefly yesterday. Not that long, but I can pick him out in a crowd." She shrugged, looking around to see someone she'd never thought she'd see, in a crowded rec. room of all places!

"Oh my gosh, it's Spock!" She said, out right staring t the half-Vulcan. He was leaning against a wall, a small box of chocolate (literal chocolate) in his hand, seemingly looking around for someone.

"Oh my God!" Mags said, looking even more shocked. "And we get to see him get drunk!"

Anda smiled. "My thoughts exactly."

{][][}

*Dorogoi - Russian for darling.
Kiitsu - Russian for kitten or cat

A/N: Oh no! Kirk's onto our trail! o_O NOOOO!

Anyway, I think this is my favorite chapter yet! Probably because it's a birthday present...

Which remindes me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPARKY!

~Piki :B