Title: Misappropriation of Lives
Author: Milena D.
Rating: T+ for now
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Action/Romance, etc. Daniel/Vala eventually
SPOILERS: Prometheus Unbound (8x12), Insiders (10x04), Threads (8x18) for Jacob, uhh Dominion (10x19) I guess but not really.
Disclaimer: Own my plot, that's it!
Summary: The past will always find you, especially if you have something it wants.
Author's Note #1: Thank you so much to my betas and pre-readers Erin, Cat and Shichimaru. It's because of them that this chapter is even posted, I was too worried about it being the last MoL chapter EVER to put it up without their valuable insights!! Thanks again!!!
Author's Note #2: This chapter deals with the issue of TORTURE and RAPE, if this offends you or you are sensitive to that kind of material, PLEASE don't read it!
Author's Note #3: Okay, now I'm just using another Author's Note to delay posting because it feels like the end, you know? Oh well, on with the show, thank you so much to everyone who's followed the story. It's been a blast, hasn't it?
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Chapter 8: Devotion
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The morning was quiet and peaceful but Daniel was torn suddenly out of sleep with the disturbing feeling that something was off. He stayed frozen in bed, staring at the ceiling until the events of the night came rushing back to him.
Vala.
He turned his head quickly to the side and the rest of his body followed when he encountered only empty space on the bed beside him. Daniel reached a hand out to feel the sheets but they were already cold, Vala had left some time ago. The scenes his mind had captured of her during the night – when she'd entered his bedroom and he'd led her to his bed, when she'd begged for warmth and he'd told her he loved her – were playing on a continuous loop as he tried to find a reason for her absence. Finding none, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sprang to the door, throwing it open and jumping back when a startled Vala appeared behind it. Her hand hung in the air where she'd been reaching for the handle and her eyes were wide with surprise.
Immediately, Daniel felt silly for his unmerited concern and he granted her a shy smile as he stepped away from the entrance. She eyed him curiously for a moment but entered the room with a wry grin of her own.
"Good morning." she said simply, her amused eyes taking in his disheveled appearance. From the messy hair to his very casual dress, from his morning stubble to his dazed eyes, he was an entrancing sight. A quiet but entrancing sight.
"Ah…good morning." Daniel finally replied. After the relief of seeing her again had faded, something else caught his attention. Vala's hair was wet and was dripping on her shoulders, which were covered by his blue button-down shirt and when his eyes continued to roam downward, he was struck speechless by the sight of her completely bared legs.
"Are you alright, darling?" Vala asked with a smirk, stepping closer to Daniel and placing her hand on his grainy cheek. She watched his eyes flit quickly down her body again and tried not to chuckle as he nodded jerkily. His eyes then returned to hers and he sobered up rapidly.
"Are you?" he asked her seriously. Her eyes flicked to the side before she could prevent it but she willed herself not to lie, he'd promised her she didn't have to anymore.
"I'm much better than last night." she could say honestly. Daniel studied her for a moment before letting a small smile grace his lips.
He stepped closer to her and wrapped a wet strand of her black hair around his finger, toying with it before tucking it behind her ear and stroking the soft skin of her cheek. Vala watched his roaming digit out of the corner of her eye and her tongue instinctively darted out to moisten her lips. The small movement drew Daniel out of his exploration of her skin and he slowly lowered his head, giving her ample time to move away in case what they'd shared last night had been more of a product of the situation than actual desires. Vala noticed his hesitation and smirked again. She reached up her hand and pulled his head swiftly down to her level, pressing her lips to his with enough enthusiasm to erase every doubt from Daniel's mind. Before he had a chance to deepen the kiss, Vala pulled back with a coquettish smile.
"Are you teasing me?" he asked with amused eyes.
"I would never, darling." she swore drolly. He grinned back at her but instead of kissing her again, he seemed to drift off into thought.
"Daniel?" she asked softly. Her voice pierced his internal musings and he raised his eyebrows in question.
"Hmm?" he hummed.
"You left for a moment." she informed him and he blessed her with the sweetest smile she'd ever seen.
"I was just thinking about last night." he replied with warm eyes. Vala frowned, most of her memories of last night were not pleasant but before she had a chance to protest Daniel continued softly. "I was just thinking about how…completely shocked and mortified I was when I realized what I'd blurted out."
Vala's eyes were confused.
"When I blurted out that I love you." he clarified softly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him when her eyes flashed with pain and doubt. "And I was thinking about how completely normal the phrase sounds this morning in comparison."
Vala stilled in his arms and peered up at him cautiously.
"I love you." he said simply but sincerely and Vala fought hard to contain her smile to manageable levels.
"I love you." Daniel repeated with a grin, determined to get his prize. He wasn't disappointed. With the second uttering of her new favourite words, Vala's megawatt smile was unleashed and she could do nothing to stop it, nor did she want to.
Daniel placed his hands on either cheek and swooped down to capture her lips. This time Vala didn't pull away when his tongue sought entrance to her mouth, in fact she led them both to a more advantageous position. Vala pushed Daniel back slowly until the back of his legs hit the mattress of his bed and his lips were ripped away as he lost his balance and sat down clumsily. Vala smiled at him seductively and followed him, climbing onto his legs and taking a seat on his lap. Daniel sat up properly and brought the length of their torsos in complete contact. She inched herself closer and moved to kiss him again but the wondrous heat created by their bodies pitched him into a very dark memory of his encounter with the late Qetesh.
I'm useful to him but he seems to take a perverse pleasure in violating this body. Most of the time, I'm not even present for the activities.
The metallic voice of the Goa'uld was screaming in his mind and he was left shaken when it passed. Vala paused on his lap and watched him curiously.
"What's wrong?" she asked him in concern, placing a delicate hand along his jaw. Daniel looked up at her and tried to smile weakly.
"Nothing, sorry." he said dismissively and reached a hand up to guide her back to him but was struck again by that disgusting voice, shredding his insides with horror.
I push the host to the forefront. Ba'al likes live victims, he likes to hear them scream.
"Daniel, you're worrying me." Vala said anxiously as his face turned ashen.
"I…" Daniel uttered with a tight throat "I…when Qetesh came to…see me…in the cell…" he began, hating himself for making her tense up. "When she came…she said some things about…Ba'al…about what he-"
Vala silenced him by pressing her fingers to his lips before shaking her head with light eyes.
"She lied." she said firmly and his heart momentarily collapsed with relief. Daniel let out a huge breath and kissed the fingers still at his lips. He gazed up at her face and was disturbed to see dark shadows in her eyes that hadn't been there before.
"Are you sure?" he asked softly, delicately, trying to assure her without words that the truth was alright.
"She lied to you, Daniel." she repeated firmly "That's what she did, she lied to hurt people." Daniel nodded.
"I would still love you, Vala, if she hadn't been lying." he promised her quietly "It wouldn't have made any difference to me, I want you to know that." She smiled briefly.
"But she was lying." she said again.
"I'm glad she was." he murmured softly.
"You know, it really does seem easier in the morning." she mused.
"The memories?" Daniel asked but Vala shook her head.
"No, telling you I love you." she replied with a cheeky grin. Daniel chuckled warmly and pulled her into his arms to hold her, trying hard to ignore the way she'd bulldozed him off the topic. His large hands moved slowly over her back and he could feel her lips leaving feather-light kisses along his neck when the phone rang and interrupted the momentary quiet of the morning. Daniel let out a small sigh but pushed Vala back gently.
"That'll be the guys." he told her as she pouted "They'll be on their way over soon, I need to get ready."
"I know it was my idea but must we go so early?" Vala pouted. Daniel looked up at her warmly, ignoring the phone and casting a glance to his alarm clock.
"Vala, it's almost 10:30, 'early' passed us about three hours ago." he informed her with dancing eyes. "Besides, we'll need the time if you want to go on all the rides."
That perked her up and after a last, powerful kiss, she slipped herself off his lap and went to the guest room to find her bags and get dressed, leaving Daniel to collect himself in his room. He took a few deep breaths and went to find his phone to call the guys back. As he dialed Jack's cell he thought this fair might just be a idea after all.
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This was without a doubt the worst idea she'd ever come upon in her entire life. What had possessed her to believe that she'd be blissfully distracted by the throngs of loud people and flashing lights? How could she not have guessed that this kind of setting would make her heart seize with despair every few steps? That her brow would shine with a layer of perspiration she'd blamed on the sun but which actually stemmed from the tight control she had to keep on her body to make sure the others didn't catch on? That seeing a crowd roughly the size of the village Qetesh had annihilated might make her want to throw herself to the ground and scream her lungs out until she lost consciousness?
"…hot dog?" a voiced interrupted her silent conflict. Daniel was holding the mentioned food item in front of her face but her stomach churned at the sight.
"No, thank you." she smiled lightly and Daniel frowned. It wasn't often that Vala Mal Doran wasn't hungry.
Since they'd arrived at the park, Vala had seemed more and more distant. He'd been about to ask her about it when she'd pointed out the next ride she wanted to go on. She was talking and smiling but her hand was clutching his with more force than she probably realized and she was getting more and more on edge. It disturbed Daniel to see her try to hide whatever distress she was feeling but if she was making such an effort to conceal it now, when just this morning she'd been honest with him, he figured she must have a good reason. Besides, the Fair wasn't exactly the ideal setting for a private and potentially painful conversation.
"That last ride might have left me a tad bit queasier than I'd previously mentioned." she fibbed convincingly, certain that her pallor would reflect nausea. Her lie had the desired effect of turning his look of skepticism into a look of remorse.
"Oh…I'm sorry I really should have warned you before we got on it." he apologized but she waved him off.
"Don't be silly, I absolutely loved it!" she enthused "I'll just wait a moment or two before trying to ingest anything."
"Okay." he smiled warmly.
"Mommy, can I have cotton candy?" the soprano voice of a young boy asked behind her.
"Well, I think we should stick to the less nauseating rides from now on, there are much more exciting ones than those anyway. We should go on some rollercoasters, I'm sure you'd love those." Daniel remarked.
"Mark, sweetie, you had some yesterday." a woman, the mother presumably, answered with moderate amount of patience in her voice. "Today you got a toy, that was the deal, remember?"
"Vala?" Daniel vied for her attention and she shook herself out of her eavesdropping, planting a smile on her face but internally screaming at the idea of spending more time in this hell.
"Yes, those ones run on the tracks at fantastic velocities, don't they?" she asked somewhat distractedly. He nodded and launched into a recounting of the first time he'd ever ridden one but Vala missed most of the speech as the little boy behind her caught her attention with a loud shriek.
"No! I want some now!" his tearful voice screamed as his mother tried unsuccessfully to quiet him. Vala turned slowly, no longer in control of her body, not even able to respond to Daniel who was calling her name.
Please don't, don't hurt them.
"No! No!" the boy cried as his mother tried to get him to calm down.
Kill them, kill the boys.
"No!" the sight of his red, tearstained face knocked the air right out of Vala's lungs and her gulping gasp earned her the little boy's attention. His red, puffy eyes pierced through her heart effortlessly like a finely sharpened sword.
Please kill them.
The tear falling from the boy's chin was the last thing Vala saw before she willingly fell into the darkness.
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Dr. Lam took a third blood pressure reading and carefully perused the CAT scans again before finally declaring Vala to be healthy. She'd awoken a few minutes after she'd fallen at the fair actually but she hadn't said a word since, not a single sound had crossed her lips in the last hour and despite Dr. Lam's reassurances, no member of SG-1 felt confident that Vala was alright.
She'd simply fainted apparently, maybe because of the sun or the adrenaline rush from the rides. Whatever had really happened, Vala was neither confirming nor denying anything, she only stared forward dully, her eyes completely blank.
"Look, I know this isn't normal for her but what did you expect?" Dr. Lam questioned them shortly. "She's got a few appointments with Dr. Mackenzie lined up, I'm sure things will be better afterwards. Until then, expect her to go through little 'episodes' like this. Quite frankly, after everything she's been through, I was expecting to have sedated her and admitted her into a psychiatric facility by now."
Daniel let out a worried breath and took in Vala's almost absent expression.
"So what now? Does she have to stay here?" he asked the doctor.
"No, she can go. But I'd prefer that you keep her on base, just in case she gets worse." Dr. Lam advised, signaling a nurse to bring the wheelchair over to Vala's bed.
Vala's inexpressive eyes slid slowly over to the chair and she seemed to understand its meaning.
"Can I go?" she rasped her first words, causing Daniel to smile with relief.
"Yes, Vala," Dr. Lam said, "you're free to go."
Daniel moved forward to help her off the bed and into the chair, taking a moment to just hold her briefly while he had her in his arms. Nodding their thanks to the Chief Medical Officer, the gang left the infirmary, all heading to Vala's quarters though three members stopped at the door and watched with torn hearts as their friends disappeared into the room.
"I should…probably get back to work on that new piece of technology SG-18 brought back." Sam said softly from her position leaning against the wall.
"Yeah, and I've got lots of paperwork…to catch up on." Cam said.
"As have I." Teal'c intoned.
As one, all three teammates slid to the floor and remained seated there for quite some time.
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"There you go." Daniel said as he pulled the comforter up to Vala's shoulders. He'd changed her into sweat pants and a tank top and had gotten her into bed where she now lay on her side, staring quietly at the wall but with at least somewhat more expression than before.
He looked at her still form on the bed and his heart ached with frustration and a great sense of injustice that so much pain could be thrust onto a single person. He couldn't leave the room, his feet wouldn't let him and he couldn't stay here just watching her from across the room so he did the only thing his heart could agree on.
"Vala," he said softly to keep from startling her, "I'm going to join you, okay?"
He wasn't really expecting a response but a fleeting moment of joy soared through him when she turned her head slightly and nodded before moving back to her original position. Daniel made quick work of removing his boots, socks and pants before joining Vala under the blankets. He spooned her form from behind and wrapped his arm snugly around her waist, delighting in the feel of her hand turning and holding his loosely. He watched her eyes close deliberately and tucked his face in her hair, wanting to be as close to her as possible.
"I love you, Vala." he whispered in the silence.
Vala's eyes shot open and her numb stupor lifted like a curtain, replaced by a livid terror. She twisted roughly in his arms and shoved Daniel away with all her strength.
"No!" she yelled as she scrambled out of the bed and turned to face him with a scolding finger.
"Ow." Daniel exclaimed painfully as he rubbed his chest where she'd hit him. "What?"
"You don't." Vala informed him firmly with an irate glare.
"What?" he repeated incredulously "Vala, what are you talking about? Of course I do."
That only made her angrier.
"No you don't, Daniel!" she repeated icily, shaking her head with determination. "You don't love me, Daniel. I won't let you."
"Vala, calm down." Daniel tried to soothe her as he followed her off the bed. She quickly moved away as soon as she saw his intentions, keeping her extended arm between them.
"I won't let you, Daniel, I forbid you." she repeated with fury.
"Why – why would you…" Daniel gaped with incomprehension. "Why don't you want me to love you?"
Her face warped into a pained expression at his question and she swallowed thickly before speaking again.
"Because you're not like me, Daniel." she said, shaking her head to emphasize her point. "I don't want you to be tainted, I won't let you get tainted by me…ruined...I won't!"
Daniel felt his heart collapse with anguish as he remembered Dr. Lam's warning about more 'episodes'. He squeezed his eyes shut and gave himself a moment to try to dim the intensity of his grief before attempting to deal with her again.
"Stop that," she ordered him quietly "I'm not crazy."
His eyes sought hers and sure enough she seemed to actually be functioning clearly. He frowned at her in confusion.
"Then why- "
"Because I'm a murderer, Daniel." she spat with a condescending tone.
"No, you're not." he replied firmly "You had no control over your body, Vala, you didn't kill anyone."
Vala pierced through him with a chilling gaze and advanced upon him, forcing him backward.
"Oh yes I did." she told him with cold eyes. "I watched as her guards dragged in family, after family, after family. I watched as she killed them, one by one."
"Exactly!" Daniel broke through forcefully. "She killed them, not you!"
"I'm the one who killed the boys, Daniel!" she ground out wildly, furious that he didn't believe her. "I did that, all by myself!"
"What are you talking about?" he shot back.
"She was going to torture the boys, she'd killed their parents, she was going to torture the boys." she recounted softly before hardening her voice and clenching her fists "So I begged her to kill them, I begged her to shoot them where they stood!"
Daniel's stomach was twisted into knots as he listened to her.
"Vala," he said softly, trying to calm her down "you were trying to save them from horrible pain and anguish."
Vala turned on her heels, shrieking with the frustration of his acceptance, she turned back with a different tactic.
"She didn't lie, Daniel!" she challenged him and he frowned as he tried to place the new topic.
"Qetesh…didn't lie to you, darling, I did." she repeated viciously, staring him down. Daniel let himself lean weakly against the desk behind him, understanding the terrible implications of her revelation.
"Vala…I'm so - "
"Or is that what you want?" she antagonized him again, watching victoriously as his eyes widened in horror "Is that what you want, Daniel?"
Hearing her atrocious words, Daniel felt sick to his stomach.
"You want to love Ba'al's throw-aways?" she mocked him "Do you? You want to love his play-thing? You want his leftovers, darling?" she shot the words cruelly as her eyes began to burn traitorously with hot tears.
"You want to see me bleed too?" she shrieked at him with her twisted words. "YOU WANT TO MAKE ME SCREAM TOO, DANIEL?"
"ENOUGH!" he shouted back vehemently, launching himself from the desk to cup her head firmly within his hands.
"Enough." he repeated more quietly but just as strongly while she clawed at his hands. Daniel shoved her arms away and crushed Vala to his chest.
"Enough." he said again, wincing as she beat wildly against his ribs with her fists, and twisting when she tried to knee him in the groin.
"No!" she screeched against his chest, kicking at his shins when he wouldn't let her go. "I won't let you! You can't love me! Get away!"
Daniel lost track of time as he held on to her with an iron grip, not letting her attacks affect his embrace for a moment. Eventually she stopped hitting him and began to tremble, still repeating her litany of protests in murmured complaints and, in time the front of his t-shirt became soaked with the outpouring of a sorrow so deep that even Vala, despite her many dubious skills and expertise in emotional compartmentalizing, couldn't hide from. Though his arms grew tired and he felt completely drained, Daniel still didn't move. He refused to let her go. Finally, when she ran out of tears, she stopped making sounds of any kind and simply let herself slump in his arms.
"I'm sorry." Vala whispered almost inaudibly against him.
"Don't be," his lips murmured against her forehead, "you've done nothing wrong."
Vala let out a hushed scoff at that. "I think the bruises you'll have in the morning will prove otherwise." Daniel smiled and pressed his quirked lips to her brow.
"Okay, you can make it up to me for those." he conceded with a lighter heart "But that's all you have to feel responsible for, understand?"
Vala didn't bother answering him and he didn't really expect her to. Instead, Vala hesitantly raised her arms and wrapped them around him. Daniel tightened his hold on her in response and felt a shudder pass through her body.
"Are you cold?" he asked quietly, both of them aware that he wasn't referring to the room temperature. She was still for a moment but finally nodded once against his chest.
Daniel bent his head to press a warm kiss to her temple before backing up a few inches and removing his wet t-shirt. Vala watched him through tired eyes and didn't bat an eyelash when his hands moved slowly to the hem of her tank top, pulling it off her body with ease. She wasn't wearing anything underneath this time but it didn't matter, no part of this moment was sexual in the least. He bent down to remove her sweatpants, leaving them both in their underpants, and then he tucked them both back into bed. They were quiet, entwined together, for a long time before Vala spoke.
"Daniel, I…I didn't mean…" she stuttered before clearing her throat and swallowing thickly against her apprehension, her psychotic tirade couldn't have impressed him much. Daniel turned the table on her and cut her off for once.
"I love you, Vala" he said with considerable passion and a gentle smile "and I'm going to keep loving you whether you approve or not. You have no say in the matter."
A small grin touched her lips but it disappeared under the heavy weight of fatigue.
"I love you too, Daniel." she whispered earnestly. Daniel pulled her up against him and kissed her forehead.
"I know." he whispered back.
Vala's breathing evened out and she finally succumbed to sleep. Daniel laid beside her, watching her with a heavy heart until an idea struck him. He waited until he was absolutely certain Vala was deeply asleep before carefully extracting himself from her arms and legs and leaving the bed quietly. He got dressed quickly and tiptoed to the door, casting her sleeping form a last loving glance before he slipped outside the room.
"Daniel." a voice behind him made him jump and he closed the door quietly before taking a look around.
Sam was getting up from the floor, her eyes were bloodshot; Cameron was also getting up, other than his ashen pallor he seemed fine. Teal'c was already standing but Daniel noticed his tense posture and the white powder on his knuckles that he figured would match the new crack in the wall beside him.
"Guys," he greeted them quietly, "what are you doing here?"
"We just…forgot to leave." Cameron said lamely and Daniel let it go.
"How is she?" Sam asked.
"She's sleeping." he answered succinctly, if the gang had been standing outside the door the entire time as he suspected they had, they knew exactly how Vala was.
"I need to find Jack." he told them.
"I'm pretty sure he was meeting with General Landry, why?" Cameron replied.
"I need him to clear something for me." he replied with a half-grin before heading for the General's office to call in a favour.
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Epilogue
"Where are the tongs?" Sam asked the men as they placed more firewood in the pit.
"What tongs?" Cameron asked as he spotted Daniel and Vala joining them on Cheyenne Mountain's surface.
"The tongs we'll need to take out the pieces of Qetesh's remains." Sam explained, still searching the area.
"We won't need tongs, Carter." Jack said dismissively.
"Yes, sir, we will. We can't just dump out the contents of the canister into the fire, the blood will extinguish the flames." Sam explained and grew concerned when twin grins blossomed on the guys' faces.
"That is why we brought lighter fluid." Cameron said perkily, shaking an empty can for demonstration.
"Lighter– …how much did you pour on there?" she asked with concern. Jack looked at Cameron and they both shrugged nonchalantly.
"I don't know, one can…maybe three." Jack said innocently.
"Are you planning on taking the whole forest with us?" Daniel asked wryly, wrapping a protective arm around Vala's waist.
"Daniel, you have no instinct for the dramatic flair." Jack accused him. "This is an awesome moment, we need an awesome fire."
As the team continued to bicker about the pros and cons of safety hazards versus symbolism, Vala took a deep breath and basked in the feeling of belonging emanating from every person on this mountaintop. She'd never had that before; people who cared for her, trusted her, believed in her, and it was a heady feeling. She was glad Daniel had arrange this little ceremony before her first appointment with the psychiatrist, she wasn't looking forward to the sessions but she had a feeling they'd be easier to bear after this.
Daniel hands suddenly appeared on her arms effectively snapping her out of her reverie and pulling her behind him. She shot him a questioning glance.
"Um, Jack's going to light the fire now." he explained, concerned about her proximity to the bonfire.
"I believe it would be wise to wait behind the truck." Teal'c intoned and Jack threw him a glare.
"Oh come on, T, it's a tiny little campfire." he said as he lowered the branch he'd lit onto the pile of firewood. The flames erupted instantly, rising well above their heads and the intense heat caused Jack and Cameron to pitch themselves away.
"Was it four cans, Mitchell?" Jack asked Cam from the ground. The Colonel seemed a little shaken as he answered.
"It…might have been four, sir, yes." he agreed as they got back up to their feet.
The team watched the flames settle to a more manageable level before turning to Vala. Sam handed her the metal canister that held the pieces of her enemy and she took small steps to reach the fire pit, Daniel was never more than a foot away from her.
Vala unscrewed the top hesitantly, irrationally worried the creature inside would still be intact and waiting to pounce. It wasn't, and when she looked within the can, she saw nothing but blue smears and pieces of symbiote flesh. There was nothing to fear, no more terror. She approached the flames and chucked the remains out of the container, shaking it a few times to make sure to get all the pieces. Then, she handed the can backward to Daniel who handed it off to someone else before stepping behind her and wrapping his arms around her. The rest of the team moved forward and together they watched with satisfaction as one of their enemies was eliminated from their universe for good.
As the fire consumed the chunks of broken snake, Vala broke the comfortable but solemn silence.
"I told her I'd only be happy when I saw her charred body roasting on a nice fire." she said softly but they all heard her. The arms around her tightened gently and she leaned back to accept the embrace.
"And are you?" Daniel asked just as softly.
Vala looked into the fire, but turned her gaze to instead capture the sight of her teammates standing with her.
"I'm getting there." she answered him with a soft smile. He answered her in kind and bent forward to capture her lips in a chaste kiss before turning his attention back to the fire. They were all finally getting there.
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That is the end of it folks, are you feeling as drained as I am:P Please leave me your thoughts, I'd love to hear your final comments on this fic, it's only the second I've completed so far :-) And thanks to everyone who read and reviewed along the way, you guys kept my muse and my brain alive with your enthusiastic and motivating words! Thanks!
Milena D
