Chapter 8:
The Gang's all here
"…So I find Arty and Holly cowering together, 'bout to be mauled by a pack of trolls, and I say to myself 'Mulch, do what they would do for you. Save them.' So there I was, bravely staring down a hoard of angry flesh eaters…"
Butler swore that if he had to listen to one more of Mulch's stories, he would boot the dwarf right in his prized rear, as soon as he got out Stockard's cramped truck.
Perhaps a back story. After being pestered by Agents Stockard's questions, it was decided by the three friends to explain how they gotten to meet each other, starting with the kidnapping. Mulch had volunteered to recount their adventures, and by 'recount', he obviously meant make himself the hero of every story.
"… And there I am, sneaking through Koboi's shuttle, when suddenly-" Mulch yelped, and jumped in his seat. A shaggy hand had struck the windows that peered into the back of the truck. Juliet dared to take a quick peek.
"It's good," she said. "Looks like Ugly was just having a dream."
Butler didn't want to be reminded that there was a troll in the back, so he turned his attention to Agent Stockard. "Incredible, isn't it?"
Stockard nodded his head.
"If you don't mind me probing," Butler continued, "you seem quite calm about all this."
Stockard shrugged. "My brothers a bit of a UFO nutter. Living with him for so many years, I kinda accepted that something was out there." He motioned his eyes to Mulch. "Just never thought it'd be little fairy men."
Mulch opened his mouth to shoot back a retort, but something stopped him.
Juliet feigned shocked. "Impossible! Stinky doesn't have a retort! I never thought I'd see the day that…" Then she went quiet.
Butler looked through the windshield. Up ahead was the manor, and surrounding the manor were fairy shuttles and large tents.
Butler groaned. "And here I thought I could have one night off….."
"Now, I bet you're all wondering why I called you here tonight." The Doctor grinned. "Always wanted a chance to say that."
Artemis had insisted that this meeting be held in the conference room. Spread out around the table were him, Holly, Trouble, Foaly, Luskar, and the strange 'Doctor' fellow.
The Doctor shimmied his chair over to Artemis. "I assume you're the one every one keeps going on about around here." He extended his hand. "The Doctor."
Artemis shook the man's hand. "Artemis Fowl the Second. An honor and a privilege to meet you finally."
The Doctor grinned. "And people say chivalry is dead. Now", he turned to face everyone, "to busisness then."
"Indeed." Artemis leaned in, locking his eyes on the Doctor. "Now, you've obviously been 'briefed' about our situation, so now I want to hear yours."
"Fair enough. So there I am, completing an orbit around the Moon…"
Foaly and Holly took the chance to chuckle at the look on Troubles face.
"…when I pick up this strange frequency on my scanners. So I say to myself, 'Doctor, you clever git, can you really afford to lose this opportunity?' So I get down here as soon as I can, and end up here." He looked at Artemis. "How'd you get here?"
Artemis attempted a rather pitiful smile. "I live here."
The Doctor started nodding furiously. Trouble put his head in his hands, which was an opportunity that Foaly took right away.
"Problems, Commander?" he asked sweetly.
"Shut your face, donkey."
"Tsk, tsk," Foaly tuttered. "No need for that, Trouble. I guarantee you, I'll be right. As always."
"As always." Trouble took a glance at the man across the table. He was currently in a Discussion with Artemis about residual energy signature tracking, or something. Abruptly, he turned back to Foaly. "We don't show him the video."
Foaly mouth hung open. "But…."
Trouble glared at the centaur, who immediately closed his mouth. "I have been fairly lenient about all this, Foaly. Not even considering the fact that if anyone hears about this, you and I will be probably been thrown in prison." He jerked his thumb in the direction if the Doctor. "The last thing I want is him looking at all our classified files."
While Trouble and Foaly argued, and the two geniuses brainstormed, Luskar decided to take an opportunity for a nap , leaving Holly as the only person in the room with nothing to do. She was sitting by the window, when something caught her eye outside.
She motioned to everyone to come look. "Thin we have a small situation outside." Every one crowded around her at the window. (Except Luskar, puffing smoke out his nostrils as he snored).
A large black truck had pulled up outside the manor, surrounded by a circle of LEP officers, guns at the ready. A large figure was climbing out of the truck, followed by three more.
"Well" Artemis said, recognizing the bulk. 'It seems Butler's finally decided to join us again."
The Doctor whirled around. "Pardon me; did you just say 'Butler'?"
Artemis nodded. The Doctor face lit up, and he zoomed out of the room, leaving its occupants in a daze.
"I think its best we go with him." Trouble grunted. "Foaly, wake up the Major." Foaly grinned. He clopped up to the table, and promptly stomped on Luskar's tail. Everyone took a step back to avoid be hit by the flames that followed.
Mulch had begun to wonder why he decided to go to Juliet's birthday. It was rare that, in any of the parties he had gone to, all the partiers ended up getting into gun fights with trolls, and then getting arrested. "Not even Nord had parties like this." he thought.
They had driven up to the manor, only to be swarmed by Recon officers. They acted all cocky, brandishing their guns and barking orders to get out of the truck, but then Butler got out. No matter how many times it happened, Mulch always found the look on the officers' faces funny.
Stockard came shambling up behind him. "Okay, dwarf man. What's the story here?"
Mulch shrugged. "Dammed if I know. If I know anything, Arty probably called them all up here just to spike Foaly's blood pressure." Juliet giggled, knowing that was probably true.
Butler scanned the area. Everything within ten feet of the manor had been cordoned off; nothing but a sea of tents and equipment. And what was that thing coming towards them...?
The Doctor stopped running, skidded for a second, and came right up to Butler's chest.
"Hello again! Good to see you all!" he boomed, shaking Butler's hand again. Butler just stared. What was he doing here?
Artemis quickly followed, along with Holly, Trouble and Foaly. Quick greetings were exchanged with 'hi's' and 'how are you's' and little jokes, after which Butler made a bee line for Artemis.
"You had a pleasant evening, I hope?" Artemis asked.
Butler snorted. "As if." He motioned to all the equipment and fairies. "Would you mind telling us what's going on?"
Artemis explained quickly, condensing details. Butler pointed to the Doctor. "And why is he here?"
"He just appeared. I know that sound's weak, but he literally just appeared right in front of us." Artemis narrowed his eyes. "Do you know who he is?"
"Met him at the SeaStone. I'm just as clueless as you." Butler chuckled. "Now there's something that doesn't happen very often."
Holly jogged up to the pair, Mulch in tow. "Trubbs going to go off the deep end pretty soon, now that we have two mud men to worry about." She gestured to Stockard, who was swamped by Recon officers. "And now, Mulch is telling me it's all because of trolls?"
"Pretty damn smart trolls," Mulch grumbled. "If ya don't believe me Holly, just go talk to him yourself-"
CCRRRRRNNNNNNNCCHHHH! The roof of a truck landed not five inches from where Artemis was standing. The group followed the noise of the pandemonium, to find a stand-off at the front of the manor.
The troll had woken up, it seemed. And in a foul mood. It was grasping Foaly by the throat, holding him high enough so his front legs were kicking air. Trouble, Luskar, and the rest of Recon had their Neutrino's aimed, along with Juliet and Stockard with their pistols.
"GET BACK!" the troll roared. "Any of you even look at me wrong, and I rip his head off!
Most of Recon was stunned that the troll was talking. Not Holly. In one swift motion, she pulled her Neutrino, ran up to the troll, and got a lock on the one part of his body he wasn't blocking with Foaly. "Drop the pony. Now"
The troll actually smirked. "You think I'm scared of you, elf? My fore-fathers eviscerated elves by the score before they were even bulls, so don't even think that- AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"
Bands of blue lightning ran across the troll's body, causing him to drop Foaly. His hair literally stood on end, and he convulsed for a full minute before passing out.
Every one stared. The Doctor stood over the troll, with a Shokker in one hand and his strange device in the other. He looked just as dumb-founded as every one else.
"Was it supposed to do that?" he asked. "Cause if not, then I think I seriously broke your shocky thing."
Luskar was the first to the troll, followed by Juliet and Stockard. "This the troll?" he asked. Juliet nodded. Luskar motioned to a group of Recon jockeys. "I want this thing bound and in the cellar!"
The jockeys looked like they would protest, but one look from Trouble made them think otherwise.
Holly and Artemis went to check on Foaly. He was gasping for breath, but he otherwise seemed okay. Still, Holly began a field examination.
"No broken bones. Any muscle pain, numbness, internal bleeding?"
Foaly shook his head. "I think I soiled myself a little bit, but I'm fine." He looked at the furry hulk being dragged into the manor. "A talking troll. How about that?"
"Indeed." Artemis agreed. "And one with a considerable vocabulary. Meaning whoever sent him must be just as intelligent.
Foaly nodded. Smart henchman usually meant even smarter bosses. He turned his head to the sky. The object was visible with the naked eye now, glowing softly in the night sky. It would have been beautiful, but Foaly had a sneaking suspicion that every thing that had happened so far all lead back to it.
"We're going to find out what you are. Just you wait…"
