I quickly put on a fresh pair of panties and a nightgown, and wipe my sticky legs off with an unsullied portion of my bedsheet. I answer the door, carrying my gun with me, as Brother had taugh me never to answer the door without my rifle with me.

"H-hi, Big Brother. Why are you here so early?"

"Well, after Austria left I realized that he forgot his Thermos. I called him, but he did not answer, so I decided to take the early train to return it to him, and since the train in Vienna does not come for..." he checks his Rolex. "another hour and forty-five minutes, I thought I would pay you a visit."

"C-come right in," I tell him. I faintly hear Roderich groaning in the bedroom.

I place the gun down and "accidentally" press the trigger. A shot from it fires into the couch pillow that I had once used as a substitute for the real thing.

"LIECHTENSTEIN! WHAT HAVE I TAUGHT YOU ABOUT GUN SAFETY?"

"S-sorry, Big Brother... I'm just tired, that's all..."

"You were up all night thanks to that damned Roderich, weren't you?"

I gasp. "Um, n-no, it has nothing to d-do with h-h-him..."

"That coffee he gave you."

I sigh in relief. "Oh. That. Well that must be why..."

Big Brother eyes my kitchen. "Liechtenstein... Your kitchen is a mess! I suppose you were having a chocolate party all night because you couldn't sleep?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I had." I giggle. It was no lie.

Brother starts wiping the counter off with a towel. "Well you are going to clean it up. Come here, let me show you..."

"Big Brother, I know how to clean a kitchen. I am normally very tidy..."

Big brother doesn't listen. He shows me the cleaner, sprays it, puts a washcloth into my hand and rubs it roughly over the chocolately countertop.

"Big Brother, don't you have to take the train to Vienna soon?"

"Not yet, although now that you mention it, I might as well call Austria to see if he's up."

Big Brother goes to my phone and dials his number. He stands and listens, until the beeping noise goes off.

Big Brother slams the phone down. "Still asleep. You'd think the damned caffeine addict would be up all night and at the crack of dawn..."

"He's probably used to the coffee," I tell him.

"Well, I don't want YOU getting used to it, OK? Otherwise you will need it just to get up in the morning. You don't want to become caffeine dependent, do you?"

"No, Big Brother..."

"Now we are going to wash the dishes." Big Brother returns to the kitchen and, to his surprise, finds that there are no dishes in the sink except for a couple of tea cups.

"Where is the dirty fondue bowl?"

"I, uh, washed it and put it away already..."

"But you didn't clean the rest of the kitchen, or these tea cups? Why did you use two tea cups anyway? Haven't I taught you, using fewer dishes uses less water, and using less water saves more money!"

"Yes, Big Brother. I, uh, lost focus..."

"Well, caffeine would do that to you. Makes you all ADHD. You should have seen Roderich when he first got hooked on it. Turkey left a sack of coffee beans behind after he invaded, and Austria took it and discovered the secret of coffee, and he came up with fancy recipes for it of course, and opened up a bunch of coffee shops, and for the first few weeks he was always going to the bathroom during world meetings, and he was up ALL NIGHT playing music and having balls every night, and all of us other countries were tired out! He neglected a lot of his duties too, until he got used to it... and during World War II, when coffee was in short supply and he had to drink tea instead, he was SOOO TIRED all the time that he had Germany do everything for him, and he had to drink tea all day just to get the same level of caffeine, and all that tea made him have to use the bathroom like crazy! Roderich is an ADDICT. DON'T YOU BECOME AN ADDICT."

"Y-yes, Big Brother."

"Now get the bowl out. I brought some Gruyere and Emmentaler over to make some fondue."

"You bought the expensive cheese?"

"Well, I decided that, since I am now so wealthy that I do not have to make the cheese and sell it to others to stay afloat, that I could try some of the higher-grade cheeses for a change... but don't get used to it! And don't you become addicted to spending either..."

Big Brother opened the cabinets under the sink. "Where did you put the fondue bowl?"

The fondue bowl is still in my bedroom, with Roderich.

"I, uh, I forgot... I must have been too jittery from the caffeine, and put it in the wrong place by accident... you don't really have time to make fondue anyway, shouldn't you be leaving to catch the first train back to Vienna?"

"I don't mind waiting for the next train. Roderich and his damn coffee Thermos can wait."

"Actually, I would like to take the next train home, thank you very much."

I gasp. Roderich steps out in the hallway, elegant even in wrinkled clothes that he had patched and repaired after how savagely I had ripped them. I am awestruck... how had he managed to undo his cuff links AND sew his pants back together so fast?

"AUSTRIA!" Big Brother pulls his gun out and grits his teeth. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Roderich coolly hides his fear in the face of Brother's gun - how debonair of him - and answers, in a similarly debonair fashion, "Also awaiting the arrival of the next train, since it appears that I have missed the last train home last night."

Brother stares down at his clothing. "You are a mess. How abnormal for you."

"Indeed, for I have also suffered quite an, ahem, accident since missing my train's departure. By the way, the fondue bowl that you are seeking is in the bedroom."

Grrr... if I didn't love Roderich so much, I would hate him! He grabs the Thermos.

"By the way, danke for returning my Thermos."

As Roderich heads for the door, Big Brother turns and clicks his gun to him. "Not so fast!"

Roderich stops as Big Brother heads toward my room.

"Oh, that's where I left it!" I say as I beat him to my room. "Silly me, how could I forget?"

"What were you doing with chocolate fondue in your room?"

"Um, I forget that part..."

Roderich had not tidied up the mess I had made of the bed, as I had desperately hoped he would...

Big Brother gapes in horror at the sight. The sheets are messier than I ever leave them on even my wildest nights alone, and they are stained with chocolate and cum, and they carry a distinctly male - and delicious - odor, as Brother is undoubtedly aware of as he leans his nose over to sniff.

"RODERICH! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

I run ahead of him, my heart flying faster than it did on my first caffeine high.

He aims the gun at the still-poker-faced Roderich, and shoots.

"NOOOO!" I dart in front of my beloved, but it's too late. Big Brother has already fired the shot.