I have concluded that Michael's bedroom has an adjoining terrace; certain episodes show that Michael's room is down the hall from the kids' room, yet the rooms do not touch. Through the kids' window, Michael's French door can be seen a few feet away, and inside the master bedroom, there's another door that could lead to a bathroom, which also would require that buffer of space. In 212, some kind of plant was even visible near the kids' window. Besides, why would Michael have a French door that opened onto nothing, or the roof?
I would even suggest that this terrace is the balcony that Michael and Beth Baerly climbed up to in 114, except that there's a garage visible below it; that layout just doesn't square with the house's layout in any other episode.
As Michael's cab pulled up the model home, he saw the red convertible parked in front, and he groaned. "Oh no, did Lindsay buy a car right after she got the job?"
After paying his driver, Michael walked over to the car and tried to look on the bright side. "Well, maybe I could ask to borrow it, for-" Then he noticed a bunch of suitcases already in the open trunk.
Meanwhile, George Michael brought his last bit of luggage downstairs, and Michael jogged up the porch steps to greet him. "George Michael!"
"Oh, hi, Dad." It felt bittersweet to finally have his father safe and sound at home.
Michael obliviously hugged his son, then helped him put the bags into the car. "So, buddy, you're all set to move to the penthouse, huh? Just give me a little while to pack my stuff too, and then we'll go."
"Uh, Dad-"
"Don't worry. I already talked GOB into leaving, so we'll just have to negotiate with Buster and Oscar about where to sleep." He entered the house and turned toward the circular stairs, only to stop short. "Maeby?"
She was coming down the stairs with her own bag, and she said to Michael, "You're not taking him anywhere."
George Michael came inside, and began in a kinder tone, "Yeah, Dad, we need to talk about this."
Michael glanced between the kids suspiciously. "Talk? What is this, another family meeting where everybody tells me how to raise my son? Fine, so where are these so-called adults, huh?" He looked around and wanted to give the family a piece of his mind.
"They're not home," Maeby said, standing next to her cousin and taking his arm. "It's just us here."
"Oh, George Michael!" he scolded his son for being weak. "I told you not to be alone with her! "
"Stop bullying him!" Maeby protested.
"I'm not bullying-"
"Yes, you are, and you can't do it anymore! It's illegal now."
"Illegal?"
George Michael explained, "Yeah, we're, uh, we're emancipated now, Dad. It's because we got married."
"What the-? Oh (bleep)!" Apparently Jan Eagleman hadn't told Michael all the legal implications about the fake marriage.
Maeby said, "Yeah, so we're adults now, and you can't tell us what to do anymore! We're moving out, whether you like it or not."
"Moving out?" Then he gasped as he realized why Maeby was bringing luggage downstairs. "What, you're-you're running away together?"
Maeby nodded and folded her arms.
George Michael looked less triumphant, and he spoke softly, "I-I'm sorry, Dad, but I don't want to move in with Uncle Buster. I want to stay with Maeby."
"You can't! You're too young to be married."
"Not according to the state of California," Maeby interjected.
"Maeby!" George Michael did not think that she was helping.
She shrugged and decided to take her bag out to the car.
George Michael said, "I'm sorry, Dad, but I just don't think this is wrong."
"Son-"
"No, listen! Maybe that accidental marriage happened for a reason, you know? Maybe we're really meant to be together-"
"Everyone wants to believe that when they're in love, but you're just 16. You don't know what you really want yet."
"But I do! I want Maeby. I've wanted her for three years, Dad."
"Three years? Even when you dated Egg? I mean-" He stammered and still couldn't remember her name.
George Michael talked over his father. "She liked me, and I was trying to get over Maeby. But now Maeby likes me too, and I know I'll always regret it if I don't take this chance with her now. I'll always wonder about what might have been."
"But you're still family!"
"We're not blood-related!"
"You don't understand what you're doing. When you two break up, it could completely destroy your relationship."
"I'll take that risk." George Michael was still hoping that they wouldn't break up anyway. "Besides, Maeby wants to leave her parents, and I want to get away from the family too. Like Uncle GOB and Tobias..."
"Every kid thinks of running away from home, but it won't solve anything. Do you know how many (bleep)ing times I tried to leave them?" Many times were before George Michael was even born.
"I know, Dad, and I wish you could come with us this time. But if you really can't accept us together, then we just have to go alone."
"No, you can't go! This is crazy, George Michael. You can't just live on your own now. Your savings account and banana stand money won't last for long."
"I know, but Maeby has another job. She's a movie executive."
"Movie executive?"
Maeby returned from the car and answered, "Yeah, I told you already. I have a job and a car."
"Car? You mean that's your car out there?"
"Yeah. You never listen, do you?" Really, sometimes Uncle Mike could be just as oblivious as Maeby's own parents.
"How did you get a job at a movie studio?"
She shrugged. "I conned them while my dad was auditioning there last year. You can read it all in the Variety. It's been in news since I got found out."
"Well if they found out your age, then you obviously can't keep that job."
"Yes I can! The lawyers are working it all out, and I'm already emancipated anyway."
"So that's why you want to stay married to George Michael? You're just using him to keep your illegal job."
"No I'm not! I'm keeping it so we can get away from you!" And her own parents.
George Michael hushed her and said, "Maeby's not using me, Dad. We really want to stay together."
Michael remained skeptical. "Come on, George Michael. Let's just sit down and discuss this reasonably. If Maeby wants to get emancipated, then she can get her own lawyer and do it the normal way. But no one's running away."
Maeby said, "Oh, so it's okay if you run off to Cabo or Arizona, but not us? You're such a hypocrite!"
George Michael said, "Dad, I wouldn't leave, if we could just work out a compromise. Can't you reconsider that deal?"
"No, you can't date your cousin!"
"But, Dad, you said that you'd try to respect my feelings, and listen to me more."
"And you said you understood that this is wrong!"
Maeby got pissed off, and she grabbed George Michael's arm to go. "You can argue with our lawyer later. We're leaving now!"
"No!" Michael grabbed his son's other arm. "No one's going anywhere, and you're going to unpack your bags right now!"
"You can't boss us around!" She added spitefully, "If you want to treat someone like a child, then go hook up with Rita again!" After all, she had read in Variety that Rita somehow avoided being deported, and was now working at Uniprod.
Michael gasped and let go. George Michael also thought she had crossed a line.
Michael looked at his son. "You see this? This is the girl you want to be with?"
Maeby retorted, "Yeah, I could say the same about you and Rita!"
George Michael tried to calm them both down. "Look, everyone's just a little upset now, and we're saying things that we don't really mean-"
Michael wagged a finger at them. "This is exactly why you're both too immature to be married, George Michael. She's a child, and I don't know how she's held a fake job for a year."
Maeby finally snapped. "You keep going on and on about how we're family, and how we can't be together. But all this time, you've (bleep) my dad!"
They were stunned again, and George Michael blinked. "What?"
Maeby sighed and realized that she'd let the secret slip. So she told George Michael quietly and uncomfortably, "Yeah, that-that stuff my dad told you today... it's all true. They've been sleeping together, right behind my mom's back! I saw my dad coming out of Uncle Mike's room just the other morning." She shuddered at the memory.
"Wait, wait!" Michael explained the misunderstanding. "You've got it all wrong, Maeby. Tobias just sneaked into my room to tell me that he was selling his Bluth Company stock, and I offered him a job so that he'd stay. Nothing happened."
"You liar! You-"
George Michael stopped Maeby, though, and asked her to go wait in the car. "Please."
"Fine!" She left in disgust.
Michael shook his head angrily. "How could she think that-?"
"D-Dad, it's my fault."
"What?"
"Um, today, Uncle Tobias was saying some weird stuff about you secretly wanting him, and I mentioned it to her. I didn't know that she'd take me seriously. She must have put that together with what she saw, and... you know."
Michael groaned. "God, I'm gonna kill Tobias! This whole family is insane."
"Yeah, and that's why we want to go, Dad. It's better this way."
"It's not! I don't care about her movie job; you cannot go with her. You should stay with me, and we'll get that annulment, even if we have to subpoena her-"
"No, Dad, I don't want the annulment. I want to stay with her."
"But-"
"Don't worry, I'll explain everything to her, so that she knows you weren't lying. She doesn't really hate you, you know. She's just upset, because of her dad-"
"George Michael, stop making excuses for her. Do you want to be with the kind of girl that would leap to conclusions like that?"
"Look, she just made a mistake. People make mistakes sometimes."
"A mistake! She seriously accused me of-"
"I know, but she had a reason, Dad! It's my fault, not hers. I mean, it's just like when you almost got married to Rita, and you didn't want to believe that she wasn't smart. You were in denial and said stuff like 'they don't have bananas in England.' Maeby just wants us to stay together, that's all."
"And she'll call me a liar to do it?"
"Maeby's just had bad parents, you know, but she's still a good person underneath it all. I mean, you know that, Dad. You used to hang out with her, and treat her like she was your kid too."
"Well obviously she's changed and become some crazy, gullible hothead."
"Dad, stop it! I love her, and-and she's my wife." George Michael finally put his foot down. "We're leaving now, and we won't come back unless you change your mind about us. Goodbye." He turned to go.
"No, George Michael!"
"I'm sorry, Dad." He kept going.
"You can't do this. It's wrong!" Michael followed his son outside, but tripped over the push scooter on the ground.
Maeby already had the engine running, so after George Michael got in the car, they quickly drove away.
"George Michael, no!" But he couldn't go after them, without a faster vehicle. "Damn. I should have kept that cab."
Tossing aside the scooter, Michael decided to go back inside and call for help. He looked for a notepad and tried to remember the license plate number of the car.
But just then, GOB stepped out from behind the kitchen wall, where he had been listening to the fight. "Well, how do you like that, Michael? Somebody running away from you, for once."
Michael dropped his pen. "GOB! What are you doing here?"
"You mean how come I'm not at Steve Holt's? You thought that you had me fooled, Michael, but I-"
"Wait, did you bring a car?" Michael rushed into the garage, but he found no vehicles other than the Segway and his old bike, neither of which could catch the red convertible. "(Bleep)." So he returned to the kitchen and asked GOB, "Do you know who's got the cars?"
GOB shrugged. "They're all out somewhere." Then he cleared his throat and started again. "Never mind that. Guess what, Mikey? You're not president anymore."
"I know that."
"You do? Well, do you know that Lindsay and Sitwell got voted in, and-?"
"GOB, will you shut up a minute? George Michael and Maeby just ran away from home, and I need to find them."
"Yeah, and where do you think they learned how to run away? From you, Mikey. After all the times you left for Phoenix, or South America, or Cabo-!"
Michael rolled his eyes and interrupted, "GOB, I don't have time for this. You've got to help me stop the kids." He grabbed a notepad by the phone and struggled to remember. "Did you get a look at that car before they left?"
"Yeah, I saw them loading up the trunk."
Michael looked up. "What? You were here earlier, GOB?"
"Yeah, they were packing up their stuff, so I just hid in the garage."
"Y-You what? You knew that they were gonna run away, and you just let them pack?"
"Yeah, how does that feel?" GOB asked, relishing his revenge.
"But you promised to help me keep them apart!"
"And you promised to help me get my yacht back, but you were lying to me!"
Michael still couldn't believe GOB's selfishness. "Your yacht! Who the (bleep) cares about your yacht?"
"I care! And Franklin cares!" GOB felt hurt and offended. "You lied to me, and told me to stay away from the house, just so that you could go steal the yacht back and leave for Cabo again."
"What? I didn't-Where does everybody get these crazy ideas from?"
"From you! You keep running away all the time, Mikey, 'cause you're a chicken." He started to do his chicken dance, but Michael talked over his clucks.
"I wasn't stealing the yacht! We were just moving to the penthouse-" He dismissed the whole subject. "Look, just get Lindsay to get your yacht back. I have a real emergency right now. Do you remember the license plate or not?"
GOB still did not trust him. "I'm not helping you, Michael!"
"GOB, come on! The kids left-"
"What's going on with you and Tobias?"
"What? Nothing's going on."
"He's been bragging all day that you got the hots for him, and that's why-"
Michael felt like throttling Tobias. "I'm not gay!" he responded defensively. "I just told the kids-"
"Of course you'd tell them that, but I know you really (bleep)ed him."
"I did not! She misunder-"
"I saw you, Michael! I caught you guys on your big secret date!"
Last year, Michael and Tobias had been enjoying a Romance Package at the Four Seas hotel, when GOB burst into their tent, followed by Buster. GOB took in their white bathrobes and looked shocked.
"Michael!" he gasped. "Michael?" GOB had felt quite disappointed to realize that Michael's desperation without a date had driven him to sexually experiment with Tobias instead of GOB himself.
Michael insisted, "That was not a date, GOB! I told you, I was just trying to keep Tobias from finding out about Lindsay's date, remember?"
GOB remained skeptical. "And nothing happened the whole time, even with all the horseback riding, and the hot tub, and the massages with kama sutra oil?"
"Nothing happened!" Actually, Tobias did try to grab him in the Jacuzzi, but Michael got away in time.
"Then why won't you (bleep) me?" GOB demanded.
Fed up, Michael turned away and ran up the stairs. "Leave me alone!"
GOB still called to him from the foyer. "And did you (bleep) Lindsay too? She said that you were gonna marry her!" This was back on the ship, when GOB found out that Lindsay wasn't related to them.
Michael ignored the accusation and rushed down the hall to his room. He could hear GOB following him, so he locked the door.
"Michael!" GOB wished that he still had his lock picks, or any of his other magic stuffs with him. He should have tried to sneak upstairs before Michael arrived, but the kids had continually come up and down the stairs. He spoke through the door, "Mikey, why would you (bleep) them and not me?"
Michael went into his closet so that he wouldn't have to hear GOB. With a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair, then began to change out of his crumpled tuxedo.
He called Lindsay on his cell phone, and explained to her that the kids had run away. "Have you ever seen that car before?"
"No, I didn't even know that she had a job."
"Well we've gotta find some way to catch them now. They said she worked in a movie studio, so maybe if you drive up the highway towards Hollywood..."
"Oh, I don't have a car," she told him. "Lucille 2 took me out for lunch, and we've been getting makeovers at the spa." At the moment, she was naked under a towel in a private massage room.
"Well, who has the cars now?"
"Dad has the staircar, and Buster and Tobias must have the other car. I wonder why they left the kids alone at the house?"
"I don't know, but I guess I'll call them."
"No wait, Michael! If you send somebody to chase the kids, then they're just going to see you as the enemy, and they'll find somewhere else to hide." In fact, Lindsay figured that she could call the kids and convince them to go stay at Sitwell's house instead. "You need to back off and let them go for now."
"No, I can't let them go! Lindsay, they might even consummate their marriage, if-"
"Well, good for them!" she said brightly. "I hope they find a nice motel."
"Lindsay!"
"Oh, come on, Michael! Stop overreacting! You're so uptight and unreasonable sometimes. Why can't you let them be happy? Because you can't be happy?"
"Lindsay, it's wrong! It's sick and wrong!" Why couldn't she or anyone else understand that?
"It's not wrong! It's young love, and it's sweet. Don't you remember what that was like, Michael? Oh, right, you didn't get any in high school." Then she changed her tone as she murmured, "You haven't got any lately, either. And you know I haven't, so maybe we could-"
"No, Lindsay!" He grimaced, then recalled GOB's earlier words. "Have you been telling people that we were gonna get married?" He thought that he'd refused her clearly enough.
"Yeah," she admitted, "but after your speech at the boat party, I changed my mind again. I still love Tobias, and I won't divorce him."
"Good."
"But I need sex, Michael! So now that you're home from jail, maybe we could have an affair instead."
"No, Lindsay!"
"Come on! I'm not that much older than you, Mike, and we can pretend that I'm 35 now. It's going to be in all the announcements. Did you hear about my new job?"
"Lindsay, you're still my sister!"
"But you always wanted me, Michael, even when I had my old nose! And you said it was a struggle not to have sex with me."
"I didn't mean-" How could she not have picked up on his sarcasm?
"Well you don't have to struggle anymore, Mike. Let's get drunk tonight, and have fun while the kids are gone." She still felt that she needed to get drunk to go to bed with Michael. "We'll find a way to get rid of Tobias."
"No!"
"Come on, who's the last girl you (bleep)ed, Sally Sitwell? And that was just because she looked like me, wasn't it?"
"No, and that's not why-Please stop this!" Besides, he also had a quickie with Maggie Lizer, over a year ago.
She offered, "I'll-I'll even do that thing you liked. You know, on page 7 of the transcript from Bob Loblaw?" She assumed that Michael had read the whole transcript of the phone sex because he got off on it.
Michael quickly hung up and dropped the phone with a shudder. Why was his whole family so crazy? Even people outside the family like Barry Zuckerkorn had come onto him too. Just once, he'd like a beautiful woman (who was not retarded, or his sister) to like him.
Then Michael remembered that he still had to find the kids, so he picked up the phone again. He wanted to avoid calling Tobias and having a similarly uncomfortable conversation, so he called his father next, hoping that he could quickly switch cars and go after Maeby's car.
George Sr. was too busy still being angry at Michael, though.
"Dad, I'm not betraying the family. Will you please just help me find the kids? You don't want them to stay married, do you?"
"No of course not! I'll find them. But this is all your fault, Michael. Didn't I say that you'd only drive them closer together?"
"But, Dad-"
"If you had just left them alone, they would have behaved and gotten the annulment. But no, you had to interfere! Now they're off playing Romeo and Juliet!"
Michael hung up and put down the phone, sinking to the floor this time. He felt very upset and alone.
Meanwhile, Maeby and George Michael sped north on the highway together
George Michael tried to explain to Maeby the truth about Michael. "He didn't lie, and he's not gay."
Maeby insisted, "He's a hypocrite, that's what he is! God, if he had to lie, then why couldn't he have lied to me last year?"
"Last year?"
"Yeah, it wasn't just this past week that I caught them. Remember those romance packages from the bachelorette auction? Well, your dad went on one with my dad." She shuddered at the memory. "It was some gross gay cowboy thing. Like in that movie."
"No way! You must have misunderstood."
"He told me himself! He said, 'I screwed my brother-in-law,' even though I asked him to leave me out of it."
"No, no. My dad's straight, Maeby. He loved my mom, and-"
Maeby sighed and told him, "Look, I think it only happened because my dad was always coming onto him, and your dad hadn't had a date in so long." She shrugged. "Uncle Mike was desperate, I guess. Anyway, he started dating Sally Sitwell right after that, so that's why I never told you about it before. I thought it was just a one time thing, and he regretted it. I mean, it still sucked that he betrayed my mom, but as long as she didn't know... I think she finally found out, by the way."
"What?"
"You know, the other morning, when my dad come out of Uncle Mike's room."
"But nothing happened, Maeby. Tobias just went in early to talk to my dad."
"No he didn't! I heard all the commotion that night."
"What commotion?"
"I guess you didn't hear because you were sleeping downstairs, right?"
George Michael nodded, recalling that awkward time when they kept avoiding each other, thinking that they were related. "After I spent the first night in my dad's room, he told me to sleep on the couch next time."
"Right. So you left, and I slept alone. Then I woke up at 3 in the morning, hearing my mom screaming at Uncle Mike in his room. She seemed drunk or something, so I tried to ignore it. Just when it got quiet again, I heard my parents fighting back in their room, and they were talking about getting a divorce again. She kicked him out, and I figured that he was going to move out again or something. But the next morning, I got up, and there was my dad, sneaking out of Uncle Mike's room!"
Tobias sneaked into Michael's room that morning and got in bed with him, giving Michael quite a shock in daylight.
When Tobias threatened to cash out his stock, Michael compromised his principles and offered him a job at the Bluth Company. Tobias spooned him for twenty minutes before saying yes, then Michael got up and rushed into his bathroom.
Tobias grinned and basked for a moment, even calling to Michael, "You have such a great bed."
In the hallway, Maeby gasped as she overheard this, and she looked for a clock, which read 8:05. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't that early, that Tobias hadn't spent the night. But if Lindsay had kicked him out, what was he doing in the house at all? And wouldn't he have run into George Michael downstairs?
Then Michael opened the bathroom door and said, "Will you get out already?
Tobias stood up. "Very well. But, um, in light of our new business arrangement,"he came to the bathroom and asked, "might I use your facilities first?"
"No!" Michael slammed the door on him and locked it.
So Tobias left and ran into Maeby in the hallway. She gulped uncomfortably and noticed his wrinkled pajamas.
Tobias said, "Oh, hello Maeby. Do you know if your mother's up yet? I don't want to run into her after our big fight last night."
Maeby just stood gaping in shock.
"Never mind. I'll just do my morning exercises." He then went into the secret room.
George Michael blinked and knew that Tobias didn't really "exercise" in that room. "You mean he-? They were-? Oh God."
Maeby nodded and spoke grimly, "So how can your dad keep saying that we can't be together because we're family? That's why I want to get out of the house too."
George Michael was stunned speechless.
Seeing that her husband was upset, she touched his arm comfortingly. "I'm sorry. I really didn't want you to know."
After a while, Michael called George Michael's cell phone, in an effort to convince him to come back. George Michael just looked at the caller ID, then shut off his phone. When Michael tried Maeby's cell phone, George Michael turned that off too.
Maeby looked back at the highway and felt pleased that George Michael really was committed to her after all. They were finally free of their family.
Meanwhile, GOB got tired of knocking on Michael's bedroom door, and he went up to the attic to look for anything he could use to break in. Franklin asked him if he had the yacht back yet, and GOB answered, "No, the police wouldn't let me get the yacht. Only the president can get it, and the board voted for Lindsay, not me."
"Then get it back from Lindsay."
"She's all busy spying on Sitwell for Dad. Besides, I don't think she likes me." He touched the cheek where she'd scratched him, during their violent fight on the ship. "Lindsay's adopted, you know, and she said that she was gonna marry Michael. Can you believe that?"
"But he (bleep)ed Tobias too. Are they gonna have a threesome now?"
"I don't know." GOB sat down and looked depressed. "Why won't he (bleep) me? I liked him first, and I gave him that CD, with the card with his face on it..." He sighed sadly. "We should have gone camping, you know?"
"You shoulda slipped him a forget-me-now."
"I tried. He wouldn't let me." Part of GOB also wanted to believe that Michael would surrender to him willingly. That Michael would give him the love he so desperately craved; to GOB, of course, love was the same thing as sex, or at least it felt just like an erection.
After moping with Franklin for a while, GOB decided to go downstairs alone and try the door again. Maybe he could find a hair pin or something useful in one of the other bedrooms. He went into the kids' room first, but as he looked out the window toward Michael's room, he got an idea.
GOB opened the window, then climbed out, being careful not to knock over the plastic plants on the terrace. Then he crossed to the French door and peered through the semi-transparent curtain. Oddly, he couldn't see Michael inside, but perhaps Michael had gone to hide in the closet or bathroom. If GOB moved quietly enough, he could sneak in and wait for Michael to come out.
It was much easier to break into the French door than the bedroom door, and soon he was inside. Leaving the door slightly ajar, GOB crept over to the corner and crouched down behind the big screen TV. He could now overhear Michael talking in the closet.
Michael was on the phone again, this time with Jan Eagleman. He wasn't sure what measures George Sr. was taking to find the kids, and anyway, George Sr. was still angry enough not to keep him informed. Michael needed to do something else to ease his anxiety.
She told him, "Well, they've probably driven a long way by now. First we should check out this Variety article about Maeby, to find out which studio she's working at. Then I can send an investigator to go track them down in L.A."
"Isn't there anything else you can do to stop them? Can't the police put out an alert or call their cell phones and trace their location?"
"But the kids aren't criminals, Michael. They apparently didn't steal that car, and even if they did, we can't prove it, since you don't remember the license plate number. It's not a kidnapping, either. Legally speaking, they're just husband and wife, voluntarily leaving together."
"But it was a mock wedding!" Michael complained, "Jan, why didn't you warn me about this emancipation thing in the first place?"
"I didn't think it mattered. You told me that it was just a mistake, and that they wanted to get an annulment. I didn't know that they were in love, or that Maeby was conning me today."
"I think she's just using him to leave her parents, and she's poisoning him against me. It's another con, and he's fallen for it."
"Well, I'll find them as soon as possible. In the mean time, just try to stay calm. You can't leave town anyway, and you've got to focus on your trial. Let me handle this." She figured that even if the teenagers consummated the marriage, she could still contest the validity of the wedding, and Michael's consent form.
"Just let me know if you hear anything. Bye." After he hung up, Michael still felt helpless. He didn't know what else to do, so he came out of the closet and began pacing in his bedroom; he was dressed more casually now, but he did not at all feel relaxed.
He kept remembering George Sr.'s claim that his interference had caused the kids to run away. Michael really didn't want to believe that this disaster was all his fault, and that he had driven away his son.
When Michael sat down on the bed and reached for George Michael's photo, he noticed the note underneath it, so he unfolded it and read it.
While Michael was distracted, GOB rushed out and pounced on him.
"Ah!" Michael fell to the floor with the letter and blinked with genuine confusion. "How did you get in here?"
GOB grinned. "A magician never reveals his secret!" He would have confessed anyway, but was more interested in pinning Michael against the bed at the moment.
"Hey! No!" Michael pushed him away and struggled to get up.
"Not so fast!" GOB tackled him again. "I'm not done getting revenge!"
"What? GOB, stop it!"
"You lied to me, Michael, and you (bleep)ed-"
"I didn't! GOB!"
They kept wrestling and rolling around the room. As always, Michael and GOB were awful fighters, doing more grunting and slapping, than actual punching or kicking. They could not do any damage to each other, beyond dishevelling their clothes and hair. Unfortunately, there were no trees here for Michael to climb, and he could only desperately crawl toward the bathroom.
Soon Michael tried pulling himself up on the chest at the foot of his bed, only to find GOB's slippery robe there, which he hadn't noticed before. Instead of dragging Michael down again, GOB decided to get up and throw his brother onto the bed for an inappropriate embrace.
Suddenly finding himself in the position that he most dreaded, Michael fiercely struggled and rolled them over until he was on top. But as he did so, their crotches rubbed together, and he felt a strange stirring. A spark of electricity. Michael blinked and caught his breath.
GOB looked up at Michael, then smiled as he understood. "You getting hot?"
Michael frowned and started to push himself up. "No, I-"
GOB grabbed his arms to stop him, then thrust his groin against Michael's.
Michael gasped softly and half closed his eyes. His jeans started to feel tight.
GOB looked smug. "I knew you'd like swordfighting." It would have been fun to do it in a sleeping bag.
Michael did not understand at first, and GOB thrust again to be clear. "Sometimes I call it pigs in a blanket."
Michael grunted this time, but it was not the hostile grunt of their earlier fight. He felt weak and trembled a little.
"Mikey." GOB smiled, and he forgave Michael everything; all the lying and (bleep)ing around in the world didn't matter, if his brother loved him after all. If he was finally giving in. GOB tried to roll on top to more effectively grind his hips closer.
Michael quickly fought him for control, but reacted again to the friction and heat; he could feel that GOB was aroused too.
GOB wanted to grope him next, but Michael pushed his hand away from his jeans.
Surprised by this resistance, GOB tried to sneak a caress with his other hand, and Michael rebuffed this too. Yet Michael didn't just move away, either. Perhaps he was being a chicken, or he was getting off on being withholding, like Mom. When GOB tried pulling on his untucked shirt, Michael grabbed both his hands and firmly held them back, against the bed.
GOB opened his fingers and entwined them with Michael's tightly. He met Michael's eyes and could feel his palms getting sweaty.
Michael stared at his brother and felt lost. He should be able to just knee GOB in the groin and leave. But he didn't want to.
"Mikey, come here." GOB used his limber legs to pull Michael close again, and then he tried to kiss him.
Michael started to turn away, but he bit GOB's lips instead. GOB bit him back, and Michael released GOB's hands. GOB grabbed Michael's face and kissed him deeply.
Michael's own fingers slid underneath GOB's shirt. They groaned and resumed their "swordfighting."
As they made out, GOB kept trying to get on top again, but Michael wouldn't let him, nor would he undo more than the fly of his jeans.
GOB was puzzled, but he remembered that Michael was a control freak. Also, perhaps Michael was used to being on top with Tobias. Whatever the reason, it was kind of hot, and GOB kept naughtily testing the boundaries of what Michael would let him do.
In the throes of passion, they started rocking faster and harder. They humped like animals in heat, and their low grunts seemed to blend together.
Michael could barely think, but he enjoyed something more than just the carnal pleasure. This was also a cathartic release of all his pent-up frustration and stress. He shouldn't be doing this with GOB, but even this inappropriate lust was comforting somehow. It was raw and physical and immediate, which he needed desperately.
Michael climaxed first and cried out with an intensity that he hadn't done in years.
Pleased, GOB grinned and slid Michael's hand into his pants, to feel him shudder too. Then they collapsed and lay covered in sweat.
After a moment, Michael opened his eyes again and withdrew his hand. He absently wiped it on the covers and rolled off GOB lazily, lost in the afterglow.
GOB sat up and took off his hot, sticky clothes. "Next time, we should get naked first," he said with a laugh, "but I guess you couldn't wait, 'cause it's been so long for you."
Michael sighed softly, "Yeah," and traced his fingers down GOB's naked back. It had been over a year since he had someone warm and naked in his bed.
GOB smiled and lay down close to him. He kissed Michael and started to undress him too, but then he frowned. "Wait, weren't you with Tobias just this week?"
Michael grimaced and answered vehemently, "No! I never had sex with Tobias! Or Lindsay. Maeby misun-" He broke off and his eyes widened. Suddenly he remembered not only Maeby's earlier accusations, but also the fact that she and George Michael had run away together. God only knew where they were now, but here he was, having sex! With GOB.
"Oh no!" Michael blinked and sat up in horror.
GOB was in the middle of pulling his jeans off, and he looked confused when Michael slapped his hands away. "What's wrong?"
"What have I done? I-We-!" he stammered in panic, "I-I'm not gay!" Recalling that they were brothers too, Michael got out of bed and ran for the bathroom.
"Mikey!" GOB followed, only to find that Michael had locked the door. "Damn it!"
