Chapter Nine
I rush out of the room. This can't be real. This can't be happening.
I slam the heavy door shut behind me, and lie against the wall opposite. I'm panting heavily, and I'm shaking from head to toe. I slide down the wall, unable to contemplate what has happened. I just stare at the scratched surface of the door, and listen to the muffled noises coming from inside. I'm really scared now, and I'm choking up. I don't have time to think about whether it's because I can have a transplant, or Dan's my brother, or my life is a lie.
Dan. My brother. Oh God.
If I wasn't having a panic attack earlier, I'm certainly having one now. My shallow, sickening breaths make my chest heave and my vision swim. My skin itches so bad that I just want to tear it all off. I want space. And why's everything so goddamn loud and sharp? I clamp my hands over my ears. Why won't the nurses just shut up? Why won't they leave me alone? And why am I having a panic attack, after all this time?
I don't remember how I got here, curled up in a ball on the bed in my room. I might have fainted, or someone walked me here and calmed me down. It's hard to tell in the veiled, distant reality of a panic attack. Everything's all so real, and yet far away at the same time, you just don't know what's going on.
But I do know that I don't want to open my eyes. I have a feeling that the scenario which awaits me will not only be embarrassing, but extremely confusing and I'll be damned if it's not at least a bit scary, too.
But I know everyone's probably feeling that way, and I can't be so selfish, anymore, seeing as I'm not dying. So much…
And I have a sort-of-brother. I think.
I open my eyes, and I'm not even surprised to see Dan sitting next to my bed. I can't see Phil anywhere. Although, I guess our… situation… makes things a little more private now.
I sit up and try to regain my composure, brushing my tangled mass of hair from out of my eyes. It isn't easy.
"Are you alright now?" Dan asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, I think so, thanks," I smile weakly, shaking off the last of my grogginess.
Dan looks a bit awkward. I bet I do too – I can't exactly blame him, can I?
"Um, do you want to talk about this?" He says.
"Not particularly," I reply, laughing.
It still hasn't really sunk in yet. I mean, Dan. Brother. Does not compute. At least I'm handling it better than I was earlier, although I might still be in shock…
Dan smiles, but soon an awkward silence fills the room. It's clear that neither of us knows the social protocol for this sort of situation. I doubt there even is one.
So what now?
Do I even want a brother?
What about my parents?
Wait, whose parents are they?
"How did they know?" I ask, suddenly. "Like, which one of us – Who's…?"
"Adopted?"
I nod gravely.
"Dan takes a deep breath. "You."
Oh. I'm adopted. My parents aren't my real parents. So my real parents are Dan's parents.
My real parents are dead.
Oh.
I look at Dan, and from the look on his face, I can tell he's been waiting for me to realise this the whole time.
"So it's just me and you then, huh?" I say.
He nods, and gives me one of those pathetic half-smiles, for some reason looking even more defeated than I've ever seen him before, even though, all of a sudden, he's got more family than he's had in a long time. And in a strange way, I think, so do I.
A/N: Thanks for all the follows and favourites and please feels free to review, because I love hearing what you think. Also, my Easter holidays are just about to start, and I have like a billion essays, so I won't be uploading many chapters for a while, but I'll try my best!
