I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point.

I'm not above using the occasional misleading chapter title. But this one is pretty self explanatory.

Okay. Still not enough sappy romance? Don't worry, I have lots more.

I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything.

Soul Mates

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah was sitting by the bed, engaged in one of her favorite activities. She was holding her husband's hand watching him sleep. And maybe some of the pure giddiness from last night had worn off from seeing the tension in his face as he uneasily slept. But the panic was long gone. Of course they still had problems. But this was now fixable. He was here. He was safe. He was Chuck Bartowski again. In the grand scheme of things nothing else really mattered all that much. She was feeling so good that she was actually able to get in a couple of hours of sleep herself.

Finally his eyes popped open… and just as quickly filled with tears. "Please," Chuck said as he turned away so she wouldn't see his tears. "Go away. I can't face you right now. I feel too horrible. This is too hard. I've been so awful."

"I'd do anything you asked me," Sarah said as she got up to sit on the bed next to him and rubbed his arm lovingly. "I hope you know that. But I'm afraid that I can't do that for you. For one thing, I'm not leaving your side… ever again. We need to talk. And you know me. I rip the bandage right off and get the pain over with. So roll over, look at me, and let's deal with this as the mature, loving, married couple that we are."

To his credit, Chuck did roll over and face her.

Sarah looked at his face of utter desolation. "Okay, sweetie," she said trying hard to maintain her composure. "I'm trying hard to keep it together. But if I have to look at you looking all devastated for much longer, I'm going to start bawling. And if that happens, it's going last for a long, long time. And that means it will take a lot longer to fix this. So let's take a breath. It's not that bad."

"I betrayed you," Chuck said. "That's unforgivable."

"No you didn't," Sarah said firmly. "Not even close. Don't ever say those words again. It's absolutely not true. Get that nasty thought out of your head right now and don't ever let it back in. You didn't do anything of the sort. Agent Carmichael did. He's not with us any longer. He was a different person than you are… a pure creation of Fulcrum. Anything he did while he was with them was pure manipulation. A byproduct of that curse you've been carrying around in your head for the past two years. You can't possibly be held accountable for anything Agent Carmichael did for Fulcrum."

"I'm talking about what I did to you," Chuck protested.

"So am I," Sarah said. "Let's talk about that. You can't feel guilty about any of those things either. That wasn't my husband. It would be totally unfair of me to try and hold him to our marriage vows. And even Agent Carmichael only did what I'd been asking him to do. If anybody is to blame for any of that, it's me."

"So," Chuck said skeptically. "You're not mad at me? It's okay to be honest about that, isn't it? You should be mad at me. I'm mad at me."

Sarah had to again pause for a moment to gather her composure. "I'm so, so, so not mad at you," she finally said. "I'm not even sure how you could possibly think that. I'm just glad you're back."

Chuck quickly sat up and grabbed her. He didn't say a single word. Words weren't necessary. In fact at this point they would have gotten in the way. He just held her as tightly as he possibly could.

Sarah couldn't speak for a long while. She just wrapped her arms around him, melted into him, and squeezed him right back until she could feel his soft sobs fade. "For one thing, I'm far too relieved to see you again to feel much of anything except pure joy," she finally said. "Please stop being mad at yourself. That's simply not appropriate. Nobody is mad at you, especially not me. Besides, you just gave me the best present I've ever gotten in my whole life. You proved to anybody who bothered to look that you love me in a way that nobody can ever deny again, even me with my stupid insecurities. You came back. Oh my God, Chuck. Sweetie, if you make me talk about how great that makes me feel much longer I'm going to start bawling again."

Chuck finally released his death grip enough to look at her closely. "You look tired," he said.

"I am tired," Sarah said as she stood up and pulled her shirt over her head. "It's been a long hard two weeks. You're tired too. You still need to get some sleep. That's why you're going to slide over and snuggle with me while we take a nap."

Well, how could Chuck possibly object to that? Soon they were in their normal position. Chuck wrapped his arm around her lovingly.

"I've really missed you," Sarah sighed as she started rubbing his stomach.

Chuck watched as her hand drifted lower and lower. He grabbed her just as it was starting to slide under the waist band of his boxers.

"You're too tired?" Sarah asked, trying hard to hide her disappointment. "It's okay. Sex can wait until we're better rested. I was just hoping…"

"It's not really that," Chuck said softly. "I can't ever imagine being too tired to make love with you. I want to get some things on the table first. I know that when I was Carmichael I asked you for something with Alex. You need to know… I want to make sure that you know… I feel horrible about that. I don't know what to do to get that unpleasant thought of me and another woman out of your head. I would never, ever do anything like that. I'm going to have to face her soon and apologize. This is so messed up."

Sarah couldn't keep the grin from her face. "You're not going to stop feeling guilty about this until you have me bawling, are you?" she teased. "Well, I guess I should be happy. It proves conclusively that I have my husband back. But I really need for you to clear your head and honestly listen to me. Can you do that?"

"Of course," Chuck said.

"Nothing is messed up," Sarah insisted. "I promise. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Now I want to fully explain to you why, but that would take some time. I'd prefer to wait until after we are better rested. So I'm going to ask you to just trust me for a couple of hours. Consider it an act of faith. Can you do that for me?"

"You know that you never have to ask me that question," Chuck said.

"I know," Sarah said still grinning as the hand that was rubbing his stomach slid into his boxers. "For right now I'd like to find a way to tell my husband how much I've missed him. Any ideas?"

Suddenly Chuck was kissing her. And sure, Sarah was already on fire. But Chuck taking the lead definitely poured some gasoline on it. For a long, long time their tongues danced until Chuck finally rolled them over so that she was on her back. There really wasn't much in the way of foreplay. That could wait for a calmer time.

"I love you," Sarah whispered just as she could feel him slip inside her. She quickly arched her back to match his powerful yet gentle strokes… and two long weeks of frustration were finally over.

"You always come up with the good ideas."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah really didn't want to wake up. She was far to content. She wanted to stay in his arms forever. It actually felt like the rest of the world didn't even exist. But she knew that the reality was that the rest of the world did exist. And since the island with their family had a clear bull's eye painted on it, they would have to deal with this. So she forced her eyes open. She was surprised to see Chuck fully dressed sitting on the side of the bed staring at her. "Where did you go?" she asked sleepily.

"I've been talking to Dad," Chuck said. "Filling him in on what I know. He was able to fill in some gaps for me too." Then he paused for a moment. "I have to kill them," he sighed. "I have to go back and kill them. I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I'm still Chuck. I promise. I'm not a killer. But it's the only way. I… Sarah I have to stop them. Once they can act openly, this island is their first target. You're never going to be safe until they are dead… not in prison… in body bags. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone."

Sarah forced herself to fully wake up. "No, you're not," she said, probably a lot more harshly than she intended. "YOU aren't going anyplace or doing anything. WE are going to kill them. Do you really think I'm going to let you out of my sight ever again? No fucking way. Whatever we do, we're going to do together."

Chuck just shook his head. "It's too dangerous," he said. "You don't know what I know. The Ring is ten times more powerful than we thought. Fulcrum? Volkoff? They were just puppets. Ted Roark and Jenifer Bowles are going to rule the world."

That got a smile. "Aren't you being a little melodramatic?" Sarah asked.

"I'm not," Chuck insisted. "I wish I was. They have a plan. And it's going to work."

"Let's let Beckman take care of this," Sarah said. "The bitch must be good for something. You know where they are. She can send a squadron of stealth bombers and blow them to hell. We'll have her make Venezuela into a nice big parking lot. Problem solved."

"That wouldn't work," Chuck said sadly. "You're vastly underestimating them. For one thing Beckman isn't going to be allowed to do anything. You have to get out of your head that this is just another big bad. They have been working on this plan for years. It's sophisticated and well thought out. The Ring has people established in very high positions in virtually every government in the world. If anybody even tries to plan to do something offensive the Ring would know about it long before the Stealth Bomber pilots were even in the briefing room. That country's capital has been promised a real good look at a mushroom cloud. Roark's already proven to them that he can do that. Soon he will use that very real threat to install puppet governments everywhere. He'll be the de facto emperor of the world. Venezuela will become the world's capital. Even the few governments that he doesn't control will be surrounded with a thousand nukes pointed at them. They will quickly surrender."

"Okay," Sarah said. "We'll go kill him. We'll let Casey do it. He hasn't killed anyone in a while. He's getting kinda antsy. Again, problem solved."

"How are we going to do that?" Chuck asked. "Even I don't know exactly where he is. They haven't allowed me to see him. I've only talked to him on the phone. And even if I did, killing Roark wouldn't be good enough. One of his generals would just take over. They have two completely separate underground command centers. They are in the process of moving the nukes from the ships to various locations controlled by those centers. Either of them could survive an outside attack and still launch their missiles. The ships will soon be just a decoy. They are just sitting someplace in the ocean with a skeleton crew waiting for the attack that will never come. Dad confirmed what I feared. Even he doesn't know where the nukes are. Without satellite coverage he's as blind as the rest of the world. Nobody knows exactly where they are enough to attack them even if they could plan something without then knowing. Either of those command centers could nuke a hundred cities. No one would risk that."

Chuck paused for a long moment to gather his composure. "I've fucked everything up," he sighed. "With you… with my family… now with even the whole world. I have to fix this."

Chuck did a noticeable double take at the huge grin that was spreading across her face. "You're going to have to explain to me exactly what part of that struck you as funny," he said. "Have you been listening to me?"

Sarah started laughing. "You," she said. "You're funny. Yes, I've been listening. I'll not deny that you have serious problems. We're going to have to deal with them. But let's not worry about the problems you don't really have."

"Okay," Chuck said. "I'll bite. What problems don't I really have?"

"Well me for starters," Sarah said still laughing. "Unless you think of having a soul mate who thinks you're too fucking perfect for your own good and who honestly worships you as a problem. Am I overdoing it? Tough."

"I'm trying to be serious," Chuck complained.

"I know," Sarah said. "You're blaming yourself for what happened between me and Carmichael. But that is not your fault. It's not even his. It's mine. I can prove that to you if you'll honestly listen to me. You're a logical guy. This argument should appeal to you."

Chuck didn't respond. He just nodded.

"I messed up," Sarah said. "I'm embarrassed about it. Look. This is not an excuse. But you need to understand where I'm coming from. In my world the first thing that any man looks at when he first meets me is my chest. Admit it, that's the first thing you looked at that day in the Buy More."

Chuck's face turned immediately red. "Okay," he said. "That's probably true."

Sarah laughed at the flush on his face. "You don't have to be embarrassed," she said. "It just proves that you're a normal man. Trust me, sweetie. I've spent countless hours in training cultivating that look, making sure that's the first place a man looks. As an agent, I've been trained in a lot of skills. I can shoot, speak a lot of languages, throw a knife, and I'm a world class expert in hand to hand combat and tactics. I don't think it's at all arrogant to say that I'm a bad ass. But the very real truth is that my tits are my most potent weapon. Men simply have no defense against it. I can get most any man to do most any thing… all the while him thinking it was his idea… all for simply smiling at him, giving him a glimpse at some cleavage, and allowing him to think that he might get a better look someday. And the best part is that I hardly ever had to pay off. Come on, Chuck, you've see that before."

"Maybe," Chuck said cautiously. "What's your point?"

"I've been taught," Sarah said. "That sex is the main thing I possess that men are after. It's what Carmichael wanted. Surely you get that, right? You sure get jealous enough whenever any man looks at me twice."

"Okay," Chuck said. "I do get jealous. You're right about that. I know what they're all thinking."

"Thank you," Sarah said. "That is my point exactly. They are picturing me naked. The idea that getting me in bed is what they're after has been reinforced by every single man I've ever had any social contact with. Their first and last thought is how to get in my pants."

Sarah paused for a moment. "Let's go back a couple years or so," she said. "Agent Walker was living the life of a hardcore spy. Which means it wasn't a real life. All she lived for was the thrill of the next mission. Sex was at best a feel good temporary release of tension but mostly an offensive weapon. Relationships were flings. Love was for suckers. Every man she ever met was trying to get her on her back. We'd agree on that, right?"

Chuck nodded… cautiously.

That got Sarah grinning again. "Thank you," she said. "Because the story is about to take a big turn to the good. One day on a mission she met this guy. He was unlike anybody she'd ever known. I mean, he was totally not her type. Come on, the guy was a nerd, shy, bashful, had low self esteem. He was the type of guy that, if she noticed him at all, she would chew up and spit out like a sunflower seed. But this guy was different. She was forced to honestly spend some time with him. It opened her eyes. He was exactly the opposite of her. She feared emotions. He wore his on his sleeve. And at first she honestly snickered a little behind his back. This assignment was a piece of cake. She was going to devour him like a hungry wolf would a stray lamb. But something she couldn't explain stopped her. Quickly enough all that changed. He turned her world upside down. It confused her… scared her even."

Sarah paused to playfully punch him in the arm. "If he realized it or not," she continued. "He had plenty of opportunities for the conquest that any other man would have long ago gone for. Soon enough she was even secretly hoping he would. She started giving him hints that he could get very lucky pretty much anytime he wanted. She wore low cut outfits around him. She found excuses to bend over so that he would have a good look down her shirt. And she saw him looking. She knew that she could probably seduce him. But she waited for him to make the first move like she knew he would. But he never did. It turned out that the nerd didn't want that. He wanted more than sex, even when he knew that he probably wasn't ever going to get it. He treated her with respect, became the best friend she had never known was possible, and even made her part of his family. He was the one person in the whole world who could always make her laugh no matter how down she was. He actually loved her… for her, not working an angle to get the conquest. It was intoxicating. She started looking for excuses to spend more and more time with him. Almost immediately she found herself head over heels for this amazing guy. But she was messed up. He deserved more than her. She didn't handle it very well. That's understatement. She was a total bitch, constantly pushed him away. She even blamed him for making her fall in love with him."

Sarah silenced Chuck's objection with a finger to his lips. "Let me finish," she said. "I know that I haven't told you anything yet that you don't already know. This is hard for me. But it's important."

She waited for his nod. "So even after we finally got together, I was feeling mighty guilty," she continued. "Even today he probably thinks he knows how fucked up I am, but the sad truth is that he really doesn't. Not really. I was so fucked up that I could never hope to explain it to him. I couldn't even tell him how I felt. I was getting ten times more out of our relationship than he was. I knew that. He was perfect, too good to be true. He would spend his entire days thinking of things to make me feel like a princess. And in bed… oh my God. He didn't use me for his own satisfaction like all those other men. He made love with me. He actually made my satisfaction a priority even over his own. It was… well, I don't have the words. I never imagined I could go where he was night after glorious night rather effortlessly taking me. I became like all those silly dreamers I had always made fun of. I was a different person when I was with him. It was like he had some sort of magic spell over me. Every single day I became more and more addicted. When he was holding my hand I was even starting to like myself. And that was something I had given up on. I don't think you really get how powerful that is."

Sarah reached up and gave him a quick kiss. "But I was inadequate as a normal wife. I knew that. I was kinda scared that I ultimately wouldn't be enough for him and he'd move on," she finally continued. "Scared isn't even the right word. Panic is closer. I wasn't giving this amazing man up without a fight. So I wanted to make sure that he knew how much I honestly adored him. I still had one very powerful weapon left. Since wild sex is what all men want from me, I figured he did too. He was just too afraid to ask. I came up with a plan. I would offer to become his sexual plaything, allow him to show me off to everyone, smile and do all those wild things that all the other men like Bryce were always asking for. That would show him how much I loved him. So I pressed him. I hounded him. I basically demanded that he let me prove that I would do anything… anything he wanted. And when he finally broke down and asked for a wild fantasy, I was actually excited… a little surprised maybe at first, but excited. It didn't occur to me that he was messed up until later that night. I was on cloud nine. I was finally going to get to prove to him how far I would go to make him happy. And I would have gladly done what he asked. Part of the deal I made with him is that I would make myself get into it for him. I practiced with Carina. I forced myself to put my jealousy aside. I encouraged him to fuck another woman. And then I walked onto The Enforcer that night completely having talked myself into putting on a wild show with that other woman for his amusement. But I didn't get the chance. He was already gone. We didn't know where to begin to look for him. My worst fear came true. I had lost him. My life was over."

Sarah could feel her lip quivering. So she paused for a long moment to gather her composure. "But then this nerd went and did the unthinkable." she finally said. "He proved to the whole world that he adored me every bit as much as I did him. He came back. It was the very last thing he should have done. Even after they messed up his memories this hardcore Fulcrum Agent was still willing to die just to tell me that he loved me. Wow."

Sarah had to pause again to try and blink the tears from her eyes. She failed miserably. "It made me realize how stupid I was being," she finally continued with tears now streaming down her face. "He clearly didn't come back for wild sex. He had turned that down."

Chuck grabbed her and held her as she sobbed for a while.

"The truth is I wasn't helping him," Sarah was finally able to continue. "In fact it was the opposite. I was confusing him, making him feel that our normal sex life wasn't good enough for me. That was the last thing I wanted. We were both already getting everything we needed."

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you this," Chuck said, perhaps not in anger, but with a definite edge in his voice. "I'm done hearing you say that you're inadequate. You're amazing. I'm not afraid to ask you for things. I know that you would do almost anything I asked. But the last thing, Sarah, the very last thing I would ever want is to treat you as an object."

"Chuck," Sarah said, her voice strained. "Please don't be angry with me. I can't take that right now. Yes, I messed up. But I'm trying my best. I did it out of love."

"I'm not angry," Chuck said. "It's not that at all. I'll admit I'm a little frustrated. I don't know how to tell you this and get you to believe it. I worship you. I put you on a pedestal. The idea of you making a sacrifice and demeaning yourself for my amusement horrifies me. It's the very last thing I would ever do."

Sarah pulled out of his embrace to look at him. "I get it," she said. "I'm ashamed that it took so long. The truth is that you're different from those other men… in a purely wonderful way. You are never going to be comfortable asking me for kinky sex fantasies. I get it. That's fine. I'll stop suggesting it. As long as we agree that I honestly love you more than I will ever be able to effectively express to you. I seriously don't think that you completely get that. So anything you ever, ever, ever want from me… even kinky sex fantasies including Bryce, Alex, inanimate objects, Shetland Ponies, some combination, or anything else when it really comes down to it… I'd consider it a privilege to make it happen for you. I want your promise that you'll never be afraid to ask me… for anything."

That actually got a bit of a smile. "Agreed," Chuck said. "I'm not an uptight prude. I have a normal amount of imagination. I'll admit that I enjoy the fact that you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I even understand that sometimes we can maybe get a little wild and just have fun with sex. But I would never, not ever, suggest anything unless I was sure that you genuinely wanted it. Besides, I thought that Shetland Ponies were off the table."

Chuck always knew exactly what to say to get her laughing. "Please don't ask for anything involving Shetland Ponies," she said. "That would be gross. I'm not even sure what you would do with one. And I'm not going to spend any time finding out. But be clear. I understand what you're saying. I appreciate it. But understand what I'm saying. There is absolutely nothing off the table. If you want it, then almost by definition, I want it."

"That's not good enough," Chuck said.

"I know," Sarah said. "It may not sound like it. But sweetie, I get what you're saying. I promise that if you ask for something I don't genuinely want, I'll say so. I don't ever see me genuinely wanting to share you with another woman. But I also don't want you to hesitate asking for something because you're afraid of how I'll react. I promise the same thing. If the answer is no, that's fine. We trust each other to have that discussion without any fear, right?"

"Of course," Chuck said.

"Good," Sarah said. "So to get that ball rolling, I'd like to ask you for something. I know that you hang back and let me set the pace in our sex life. I'm fine with that. But it would really be exciting for me if sometimes you would take charge. The ravage thing didn't really work out. But I hope you know what I mean."

That got Chuck grinning. "I think so," he said. "You're talking about what happened on the plane with Laura."

"It was incredible," Sarah said. "And it really wasn't all that far out there. If something like that could ever happen again, I'd be totally on board. It doesn't have to even be with anyone else. Look, sweetie, I'll keep looking for a better way to say this. But for now all I can do is tell you that I love you with every fiber of my being… and that I always, always, always will."

"I love you just as much," Chuck said. "Will you please stop trying so hard? For the record, what I want… is you. And I'm not trying to say that our sex life isn't important to me… it is. But it's not the only thing we have going. Sarah, it's not even the main thing. I love every second of our life together. Why can't I make you understand that?"

"I do now," Sarah said. "Don't get me wrong. This is nothing against you. You've always been so great at telling me. I've always known it in my brain. But last night you made me FEEL it. And you made me feel it in a way that trumps any stupid insecurity. Even as fucked up as I am, it's impossible to deny. I promise that I'll never question it again. So in a very real way, these past two weeks have been a good thing. They taught me something very important, something that I'll remember for the rest of my life. I'll have to send Jenifer Bowles a thank you card."

"Thank you," Chuck sighed. "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy."

"I am happy," Sarah said. "I'm incredibly happy. So maybe you can scratch me off your list of problems?"

"Okay," Chuck sighed. "Thank you. But what about the rest of the family?"

That got Sarah giggling. "We do have a potential problem with Alex," she said. "As it turns out, she feels cheated that we never consummated our agreement. She is a… well she thinks that 'slut' maybe is a bit harsh, but you get my meaning, right? She saw the pictures that Carlos took. She really likes them… actually a bit too much. She'd like you to take some of… um… her and me in some interesting positions. She was being quite descriptive. Honestly I was starting to blush."

Chuck took full measure of her giggling. "Okay," he said. "To be honest, those pictures were a big hit with the Fulcrum folks too. What are we going to do with her?"

Sarah continued her giggling. "I'll bet," she said playfully. "Well, I suppose we could… um… bite the bullet and give her what she wants and consummate it. That might resolve things." His look got Sarah laughing even harder. "I'm teasing you," she quickly said. "I think we both agree that's not going to happen. Don't worry about Alex. It's maybe true that Morgan and Alex are going to have something of a stormy romance. They may not make it. But that's for them to work out. Maybe it's time I had a gentle chat with her about how possessive I can be without her trying to seduce me. Well, gentle at first anyway. After all the mixed messages we've been sending, I probably owe her that."

"What about Casey?" Chuck sighed. "Both with Laura and Alex. Have I fucked up our relationship?"

"I don't think that Casey knows anything about us and Alex," Sarah said, still giggling. "For one thing, we really haven't done anything yet. And even he would have to admit, he's not going to be nominated for Dad of the Year any time soon. I think that he's probably forfeited any right to be involved in Alex's sex life. And if half the vivid stories she is telling me are close to being true, that's probably a very good thing. Sure, he's protective of her. He's not too wild about her being with Morgan. They both have the mentality of an alley cat. But Casey understands that she's a grown woman. And as far as what happened with Laura? We do have something of a problem… just not the one you fear. She wants a rematch… with Casey as the judge this time. At first I thought she was kidding. But she says that justice demands it. And while I was forced to agree in principle, what happens when I inevitably win? I'm pretty sure that I don't want to win that particular prize."

"Very funny," Chuck said. "I'm trying to be a little serious here."

"I know," Sarah said. "It's cute. But here is what I'm trying to tell you. Nobody is upset with you, not even a little bit. We're all far, far too relieved that you're back with us and basically okay to be mad at anything that Agent Carmichael did. Please let that go."

Chuck found that he had little choice but to finally smile. "Laura's not really kidding, is she?" he asked.

"She's not kidding at all," Sarah said as she started giggling again. "Look, you know that I would never do anything that you're not completely on board with. But I don't think Laura's thought this through. I'm pretty sure that I could quickly get Casey so embarrassed that he'd be begging me to stop taking off clothes. That might be a little fun."

That got Chuck softly laughing. "You know how much I enjoy embarrassing Casey," he said. "Consider the rematch approved."

"Thank you," Sarah said. "Laura needs to learn the lesson I just learned… be careful what you wish for. And let's face some facts. There are simply some circumstances that as a community we are going to have to live with. There has been a fair amount of discussion about it since you've been gone. Agent Carmichael didn't cause this… he just made everyone realize and openly face it. Our new life style is going to mean an adjustment. Things like the contest with Laura are going to happen. With so many ex spies and their particular lack of normal sexual morals in the same place, there is bound to be some messing around. Especially given the next to zero clothes being worn, the free flow of alcohol, and the wild cards that Morgan and Alex represent. Not to mention Carina constantly stirring the pot. I'm not suggesting there is going to be a nightly orgy or anything. But it is going to be different. You and I can stay locked in our room every night. Or we can find a way to have fun with our circumstance in a way that is consistent with being married."

"I never want to cheat on you," Chuck said quickly.

"That's good," Sarah said as another giggling spell hit. "I'm certainly not suggesting that. Because that is a very real problem you absolutely do have. I would fucking kill you. I would never cheat on you either. We'll need to talk about what happened with Carina later. But I do think we need to specifically define what we're calling 'cheating' so that we both know where the line is. Unless we stay in our room every night you're going to be seeing a lot of skin from beautiful woman who are drunk, don't understand concepts like monogamy, and who see getting you to bed them as a challenge… something akin to climbing Mount Everest. You've become sort of the symbol to them. The unattainable thing they are all now obsessed with. My constantly being possessive and acting uptight about that would quickly make us both pretty miserable. If that is going to be the case, maybe we should think about moving."

"But we love it here," Chuck protested. "Can we make it work? Where is the line?"

"That's for us to decide," Sarah said. "In both cases. For me, the line is pretty black and white. I've learned that there is a clear difference between sex and making love. You're the only person I'm ever going to make love with… for the rest of my life. Period. No possible room for any exception. As your wife, I demand that same commitment from you. But I've also learned that sex is a broad topic, it can sometimes be recreational, and that is a little grayer. For purposes of this discussion I'm defining sex as anything involving an orgasm. I'm not saying it's ever going to happen. I doubt that it is. I'm fine with that. You are all I'll ever need. I know I'm all you ever need. But I could also see the possible room for an exception. Here is my line. Either of us having sex with anyone without the other's honest expressed prior consent and eager participation would be cheating."

"I don't want to have sex with anybody," Chuck said.

"That's good," Sarah said. "Because I really don't see it ever going that far. You're not going to ask. And even if you did, you're probably going to struggle getting that expressed prior consent from me. I'm still reserving my wifely right to be insanely possessive. I totally get the hypocrisy here. I make no apology. But one thing that Carina did accomplish. I now am willing to lighten up a little, flow with circumstances, not worry so much and have fun… as long as you're holding my hand and we never, ever do anything to hurt each other. I enjoyed my contest with Laura on the plane. It was hot. I could see things like that happening. And let's face it. Joey or Laura or both is going to get drunk at some point and try and seduce one or both of us. Alex… well she is always going to be on the prowl. Carina already thinks we owe her something. I'm not saying this is ever going to happen, but I could see a circumstance where we decide together it would be fun to push back a little. I could even see us mutually deciding to have a preplanned wild night every once in a while. All I'm saying is that we don't have to dance around having that discussion. I'll live with whatever we decide together. Even Ellie was saying that as a group we might have to redefine a little what we mean by monogamy. I suspect that your line might be different. And I'm also fine with living within where ever you would draw it."

"What about you and Carina?" Chuck asked softly. "Was that across your line?"

"Maybe," Sarah admitted. "We've been putting that discussion off. So let's talk about that. The real question is was it over your line? I hope not. It's true. I had a session that would meet my definition of sex with Carina with you not holding my hand. I owe you full disclosure. She was going to let me off the hook. I insisted on going through with it. And I could tell you it was because you wanted me to do it. And that's most of it. I made a promise to you that I would make myself get into it. So I did that. But that promise is not the whole picture. I did it partly… Chuck maybe even more than partly because she wanted it so badly. So if you think I cheated or did something bad to you with Carina, I'm so, so sorry."

Chuck pulled her close again. "You didn't do anything wrong," he said. "How could anybody possibly think that? You were there specifically because I manipulated you into it. You're never to feel guilty about that again. You can consider that an order."

"Yes, sir," an obviously relieved Sarah sighed as she melted into him. "Thank you. The truth is that I surprised myself. I told you that I'd try. The fact is that I really got into it with her, more than I imagined possible. Her gloating about that is now a lifetime burden we'll have to live with. So I'm sorry if you think of that as across your line. But I learned something about myself… something that I think translates to us. Carina was great about it. She was even right about some things. We both owe her a huge debt. Trust me, Chuck. She isn't going to be shy about requesting payment."

"I know," Chuck sighed.

"What about you?" Sarah asked. "What have you learned? I know that Jenifer Bowles offered Agent Carmichael sex as a reward. There may be others."

"Jenifer Bowles stiffed me," Chuck said. "Fulcrum had me too busy launching missiles to think much about sex. Thank goodness." He paused for a moment before grinning. "Tell me more about your experience with Carina," he said.

Sarah was openly relieved that he was letting her off the hook. "We'll watch the tape," she said, now openly snickering. "It was definitely a new experience for me. I learned a lot about myself that night. To say that I enjoyed all of it wouldn't really be accurate. But I was able to get into it more than I anticipated. In fact I think she is probably going to approach you about a repeat someday soon… with you participating. Watch the tape and you'll see why."

"Wow," Chuck said. "I... um… I don't see that happening."

That got Sarah laughing even harder. "I know," she said. "You may not agree, but Carina's heart is in the right place. I'm warning you. She can be very persuasive. That will be completely your call. But if she can talk you into it, Carina has probably already planned out how it will go. She's going to pitch it to you as an educational opportunity. She has no interest in getting in the way of our marriage… quite the opposite. She thinks she can help us… you more than me. And maybe she can. She just doesn't look at sex the same way you do. I want to be careful how I say this, but with the right boundaries defined, that is something that I might even consider letting you convince me into supporting. The good news is that now I have a new perspective, and a whole new level of appreciation for what you constantly do for me. In fact I wouldn't mind horribly much you taking some personal initiative and making me appreciate it right about now."

Chuck took full note of her openly teasing him. "Wow," he said. "You're really in a good mood."

Sarah looked at him skeptically. "Have you been listening to me?" she asked in faux disgust. "Have you heard a fucking word I've said? I've never felt this good in my life. You took a thousand pounds off of my back last night. Carina made me leave the room because she said that my gloating was getting annoying. She is most definitely a hypocrite."

"I still have a problem that you haven't talked me out of," Chuck said. "I have to deal with them. They tried to take us away from each other. They're not getting away with that."

"Agreed," Sarah quickly said. "Except you have to stop saying 'I' like that. It's not you, it's us. Yes, we do still have that problem. They're not getting away with it. We're going to deal with them. And killing them would be doing them a favor. They tried to take you away from me. That's unforgivable. And it turns out that I have a fairly famous skill that they are going to become very, well appreciative isn't really the right word, but you get what I'm trying to say, right?"

In spite of the tension, that got a smile. "Yes," Sarah," Chuck said. "I have to say, I'm looking forward to finally getting to see this skill in action. And don't even try to keep me away from it. If it's our problem… if we're going to approach this as a team… I get to watch the sausage being made once. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Sarah said as she started to unbutton his shirt. "We have a deal. I know that we have some work to do. But I would like just one more hour to be Sarah Bartowski before we have to get into mission mode. And as long as we're now open about asking each other for sex type things… um…"

"I've really wasn't kidding about wanting to be appreciative."

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