Chapter 8: he never says goodbye to her

"SAKURA?!" and he looked around and panicked, his stupid hand which had been nearly separated hurting like hell or maybe it was just the sight of the blood of his comrades who were close to dying. "Hinata?! Kakashi?! Kiba! Sai! YAMATO! ANSWER ME!" But no one answered, no one looked up and no one moved. Like the angel who had fallen from heaven, that easily had they been defeated, Naruto realized that even after all his years of training he still was too weak to bring Sasuke back, even worse, he was even too weak to protect his comrades. If he weren't this weak right now he'd willingly let the nine-tails take over his body, anything as long as it would defeat the angel, as long as it would revenge his comrades, but he doubted if he would ever be able to kill the girl. As much as she was a killer, she was also a human who happened to have a fucked-up past, neglected by the other villagers while she couldn't do anything about it. It reminded him of himself, still, understanding her actions seemed impossible.

"Naruto!"

He had never been happier in his life seeing Jiraiya Sensei and Grandma Tsunade.

"I want you to leave."

Her back was turned towards him, and if he'd see her face she'd probably widen her eyes. He didn't want her around him anymore, not because he was tired of her or something, it was for a much more important reason, also a reason he couldn't tell her, because telling her would make her believe he cares about her, and that was something he wanted to keep a secret. The reason was simple, he couldn't bear the risk of bringing his ward along when Madara Uchiha was after great chakra, furthermore she couldn't get pulled into this fight. And as much as he hated to admit it, this sentence too was killing him inside, he doubted himself whether he would survive this separation from his precious, he doubted if he would ever see her again, but if faith was being kindly disposed, her chances would be outnumbered and she would find a new settlement and who knows one day a home. However, Kumiko thought different about that.

"What do you mean, leave?"

That same damned voice.

"I want you to leave and never come back."

She turned around and just like he had imagined it, her eyes widened like a sword was being stabbed through her heart, in any case it definitely felt like one. "What are you –"

"You have to let go of me."

Her icy blue eyes stared right through him, paralyzed and shaking, ready to cry any moment, making him wonder if she had ever cried in her entire life before, for as far as her mind-piercing jutsu went he didn't recall anything about tears. And for the first time it was Kumiko staring at Sasuke and almost going insane by the blank expression he was giving her, because really, didn't this really mean anything to him? For once she was the one who wanted to scream and yell he doesn't feel anything, but the pain and grief inside her heart was too strong and powerful to let her do this, she only collapsed as if she was having a terrible stomach ache, clinched onto herself like she was trying to gain her own affection, and before she knew it she cried, she cried so intensively and genuine it almost made him cry. Almost. Instead he turned around and walked away, not even granting her the smallest empathy, for now the most important thing for her was to leave. The idea of not holding her anymore did hurt Sasuke, it was an empty gap in the remain of his shivered black heart that was far from healing one day, it was that remain of insanity in his mind that had now been completely devoured. First his clan, then his friends, his brother, and now her.

"SASUKE!"

He hated her. He hated how she clinched onto his back and cried out her tears on his shirt, weeping uncontrollably like he was going to leave this world for good, but in reality he was only leaving her, for her own sake god damn it. It were her tears that made the departure so difficult, it was the way how she screamed out his name and recklessly seized for his shirt that made him want to turn around and hold her, because deep inside he yearned for it as much as she did. Little did he know that what was about to come was one of the deepest confessions Kumiko had ever told in her entire life, she was about to confess everything.

"I promised I would protect you. At first I thought I was doing it for Lord Orochimaru, I wanted to protect you because that was my way of protecting him, I wanted to be of any use. But I started realizing that whenever I was worried about you, it was because I cared about you and not Lord Orochimaru! I wanted to make sure you were alright, I wanted you to be happy although I had no idea how, so I offered myself to you in the hope of it being enough. I wanted to see that smile from your memories when you were still a kid... I fell in love with you. Whenever I'm with you, I remember how it feels like to be wanted again, you remember me how it feels like to be in pain, to be sad and to love something."

Don't, fucking, cry.

"I love you Sasuke," her tears grew stronger, "and you promised me you wouldn't die, but leaving me here like this isn't any different from dying! Please, don't," she clinched her fists and tried to stop the tears, "don't go."

"Kumiko."

She looked up from behind her tears when he finally spoke after several minutes of awkward silence, when he flashed himself behind her and the wind blew their hair into the same direction and if Kumiko wasn't going insane she was sure she felt Sasuke's warmth being blown towards her by the wind. She felt the last bit of warmth in his heart fading away and dying. Was this goodbye?

"Thank you for everything."

She felt a sharp pain in the back of her head before everything went black. His sharingan eyes haunted her in the darkness after he laid her down on their bed and stole one last kiss of her lips, smiling it still tasted like cherries, however if Kumiko would've still been conscious she would have only concluded that his lips didn't taste like cinnamon anymore. The Sasuke she once knew had been devoured by his own hatred and crave to revenge, he was deaddead as much as both their families, still the last bit of Sasuke inside of his new body cried, and a tear dropped down on Kumiko's sleeping face. Why did she have to be so beautiful.


"Mommy?"

"Yes dear?"

"How is it like, to fall in love?"

"In love? Well, erm... You see this butterfly?"

Kumiko looked at the butterfly with her two big blue childish eyes, sitting care-free on the flower's petal and spreading its icy blue wings, like it was giving Kumiko some sort of sign. Its wings were as blue as her eyes, they shone as beautiful as hers and just like little Kumiko they smiled. She was probably one of the prettiest girls of the village, her mother was one of the most beautiful women of the village. Any man that has her should praise himself lucky, and any boy that was about to have Kumiko in the future should praise himself lucky, so her mother made a promise to herself, she promised that if Kumiko would ever fall in love with someone, she would make sure that this certain someone would never break her heart, because if so it would mean she had failed as a mother.

"Imagine a thousand butterflies in your teeny tiny belly, all tickling and teasing until you go insane!" She giggled and laughed when her mother tickled her, trying to imitate the butterflies, a lovely familiar laugh as usual, because if there was one thing Kumiko did, it was smiling day in and day out. She couldn't even imagine how her daughter would look like with a senseless face.

"Then I want to fall in love with someone like daddy!"

"You silly girl," and she combed her daughter's hair so she could braid it more easily, "how are you going to find a boy who's exactly the same as Nibori? Everyone has his own personality and beauty, and sometimes that beauty isn't to be seen from the outside, sometimes you have to look really really deep inside someone's heart before you find it, but once you find it," she smiled, remembering how she had met Nibori one faithful evening and how he had looked so broken and lost, "well, I guess you'll finally find out how it feels like to be in love."

"Do you think I'll meet someone like that one day mommy?"

"Of course you will honey," and she kissed her daughter on the forehead, "of course you will."

"Sasuke... I have never found anything but darkness inside your heart, however I did find something of humanity left behind in it. Tell me, was that little remain of insanity inside of your heart meant for me? Or has it been devoured by hatred just like the rest of your body? Sasuke?"

"Is she gonna make it?"

"She'll be alright, look, I think she's waking up."

"Hey, are you feeling okay?"

She woke up seeing two blue concerned eyes watching her like a newborn opening her eyes for the very first time. It was an expression she hadn't behold many times before, for most of the times people only wished her dead and therefore didn't care whether she was dying or not. As soon as she was able to see the rest of the room and the people standing around her, she realized she was still in the room where Sasuke had left her, not really sure how she had ended up in this bed. Maybe the people standing around her had laid her down here, or maybe it had been Sasuke although she doubted the last option, in any case thinking about him hurt. The room was filled with the people she had attacked some days ago except for the woman who was healing her, that face didn't look familiar, still she didn't trust any of them, she didn't understand why they were helping her in the first place.

"She'll be alright," and she pulled away her healing hands. The woman had a deep determined voice and that also counted for her eyes, everyone of these Leaf shinobi had, but the blue-eyed boy with that strange wide smile was still the most admirable one. He seemed strong at a different level.

"Yeez shorty, you almost scared us." Kumiko had no idea how he did it, wearing that wide smile of his at this time of his life, having lost his best friend and not a long time ago his sensei but Naruto hadn't found out about that yet, and somehow Kumiko was jealous of him. She attempted to sit up straight when Naruto was about to help her, but instead of accepting his help she punched away his hand but quickly grabbed for her stomach after doing so, feeling like she hadn't eaten for days.

"Why are you helping me."

"Our reasons are for our own benefits, you just happen to be lucky we need you," the strong woman with the two ponytails said. That was Lady Tsunade's reason, however Naruto had his own reasons. He truly believed that Kumiko could still be saved from the darkness, even after what she had done.

She blinked her lifeless eyes, cursed herself deep down inside of her because again no one cared about her, again she was only to be used as machine, a weapon, as shield, a toy, anything!, it had always been this way and why, why was it that she simply couldn't just die. It would be so easy, it would only bring advantages and it would stop that aching eternal pain in her heart. However, when her thoughts slowly wandered to the dark again a light sparkle of Uzumaki-smile saved her from it and brought her back to the real world. She watched impassively at his white shining teeth and acknowledged a new sort of beauty, a beauty her mother used to talk about long time ago, a beauty from the inside. "Thehe, some ninja you are shorty, you almost got me there with that special ice-technique of yours!" He foolishly put forward his hand wrapped in bandages as if mocking her. "But I'm still going to defeat you one day, I never give up that's my ninja way!" She started to understand why this was Sasuke's best friend. She hated that Uzumaki-smile, and therefore admired him.

They escorted Kumiko back to the Leaf though she had no idea why, it would've probably been for interrogation and if not, Leaf shinobi were just stupid. Even Naruto was stupid for carrying her all the way to the village, even after nearly killing his friends, but Naruto had a certain respect towards Kumiko, after all he had seen her entire past, from her birth to Sasuke. He had respect for her because even after a bitter hard childhood and the constant abuse of his best friend Sasuke, she still moved on with her life, she still was willingly to die for her precious if necessary, she deserved the title 'ninja' more than anyone else. He was well aware that Sasuke had left her and that was exactly the reason why Naruto was acting so nice to Kumiko, because she feels the same aching pain of departure and she too still believed that Sasuke one day would return to the Leaf. It was the only considerable answer to why she had allowed everyone of his team to live, because she thought that one day Sasuke would return, and that Naruto would be the one to escort him. But instead it was Kumiko sitting on Naruto's back, and so she began to doubt the possibility.

"Naruto?" she gasped and everyone looked up because they were still expecting another voice, but no, it was still the same hideous one. But an ugly voice wouldn't scare Naruto away and somehow that made Kumiko feel a strange warm feeling inside of her stomach, because Naruto had been one of the few who didn't look down on her and for the first time in 5 years someone who granted her a smile. "Could you tell me about Sasuke's childhood..."

"Of course," he smiled, and as they were walking their way up to the village, their path of a new beginning was enlightened by the last orange sunbeams of the sunset, and he told about Sasuke when he was little and how Naruto hated him, how he wanted to keep up with him and how they happened to get in the same team. He still hates him, and that's why he's his best friend, and even now, when the two of them were separated, he could still feel the bond between them chained like chakra threads. The way how he was fascinatingly explaining his friendship with Sasuke was exactly what Kumiko wanted to hear, because it reminded her of theirs, and she promised herself that even now, after being left behind, she would still protect him with her life. She still was hopelessly in love.


The three of them walked down their path through the village, searching for supplies and maybe some unnecessary luxury-goods or ninjatools, when Sasuke suddenly stopped at a market stall that sold swords. Seeing this fine art of the forging, he first hand fell in love with a sword laying on a table underneath a glass box, the only one being locked away as if the salesman wanted to make sure the villagers would acknowledge this expensive sword. However, his intentions had been verified, for Sasuke had noticed the sword, and he wanted it alright, until he looked at the price-tag, then suddenly he didn't want it anymore.

"What's wrong Sasuke?" Kabuto asked, seeing how Sasuke was glaring at the glass box in the hope of it breaking so he could run away with the sword, but unfortunately it didn't. Maybe one day, when he was about to control his mangekyou sharingan and he could kill his brother with it. "What, you want that one?"

He said nothing and walked away.

"I'm sure Lord Orochimaru wouldn't mind," Kabuto smiled and seized for the wallet in his back pocket. "After all, it would only be beneficial for Lord Orochimaru if you would know how to hand a sword."

Although it didn't seem so, he could jump all the way up to the sky if he wanted to, thrilled about his new ninja-toy like a child getting its first kunai knife. That was until his eyes wandered to her pale skin, a cold stitching feeling overwhelming him every time he looked at her, for it were those eyes that somehow frightened him and seduced him at the very same time. Her chakra felt colder than most other ninja, it certainly wasn't red like Naruto's, but it wasn't necessarily a regular blue chakra either, it was probably a white one, because she reminded him of ice and ice was white. He still had no idea who this particular girl was, didn't know what Orochimaru's intention's were with this girl, he did know that Orochimaru was up to something, for he had noticed something in his Lord's eyes when he had been watching the two of them together. Like everything was exactly going according to plan, though Sasuke had no idea what plan. In any case, whether this girl was also a possible perfect vessel or simply a servant, as long as she didn't get in his way of gaining power he didn't mind her constant presence, in fact, he even admitted it made him feel comfortable.

Staring had become a habit when they spent time with each other, and just like any other time, he was finding himself doing the exact same thing as always, secretly not confessing she was just so so pretty to stare at that he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. But Sasuke had better things on his mind, for example learning how to hand a sword, little did he know that this new toy of his was a tool supposed to be taught by Kumiko Nakamura instead of his Master, for if he had known that he would've never asked for it in the first place. It became clear soon enough however, when they headed back to Lord Orochimaru's hideout deep deep in the woods, when Kabuto presented the sword to their Master who simply nodded leaving Sasuke questioned. He had thought his Sensei would've stood up to teach his new pupil in the art of the sword, instead of that he only spelled it with some sort of jutsu and left, so Sasuke looked at Kabuto who smiled and raised his glasses. Normally Sasuke would've gotten angry by now, but since this were only the first few weeks of his stay at Lord Orochimaru's liar, his ego hadn't grown enough yet to openly insult his Master nor his Master's left hand. In any case, Lord Orochimaru left as well as Kabuto, leaving Sasuke behind with the pale icy girl. He was about to walk away, assuming he was supposed to study this one on his own, when the sound of two following feet distracted him from his path on going outside. She was following him.

"What?" he asked insolently and frowned his eyebrows. As he asked her this question, still not fully trusting the girl, he lowered the sword in his right hand which was almost as big as the boy himself. She pointed blankly at the tool.

"You're telling me you know how to use this?" She nodded. He chuckled in his very own Sasuke-way. "Am I supposed to believe that? You barely know how to use a kunai-knife."

It was annoying how his offending words never had any effect on her, he was dying to know how she would look like when her face forms an expression, but that was something yet to discover, if he would ever be able to discover this in the first place. He turned around and continued when suddenly out of nowhere a kunai was being casted towards the lobe of his sword's shed, the sword suddenly hanging at the wall like a coat on a coat-rack, humiliating and surprising at the same time, and when he turned around she was still gazing at him with those same icy dreadful eyes. If she would say something from time to time, Sasuke was sure it would sound like 'not knowing how to use a kunai-knife, huh'. –

She danced gracefully while using her bow as some sort of weapon that could slice through anything, from leaf till tree itself, like she was guiding her weapon through a crowded room full of dancing nobles. She made it look so easy, with the right proportions, knowing where to find the right balance, how to change an attack into your advantage. It went from frontal attack to simple distraction, making your opponent lose its balance and striking at the vital spots. You could compare her technique with real art, any painter would die for painting a masterpiece such as this one, how she was cherubically performing ballet in the grass fields and her white dress blowing in the wind. And to make everything even more appealing, the sun had taken its position at the perfect spot, like her icy blue eyes were blending with the warm orange colour, leaving her eyes brown and her hair auburn red. He tried to stop watching her, he tried to focus on the moves, it didn't work. He hated her.

They continued this weekly practise the first two years so that Sasuke mastered his sword flawlessly, until one fateful day, when the cursed sun was at that perfect spot again, when her dress was blowing in the wind again and when her eyes and hair changed into a lively brown colour. That one fateful day when their connection was at its strongest, Sasuke was angry again because the new technique didn't work out, but he was about to find out for the very first time the solution and antidote to his anger and hatred.

He fell back pathetically when the power of his snakesword casted towards himself, for he had not yet controlled its power and therefore was still too naive adjusted. If Kumiko wouldn't be the sort of type that never shows her emotions, she would've rolled her eyes a thousand times by now. He cursed she hadn't taught him well enough.

"Your wrist, suppler," and she held it and plait his wrist in the correct way to show him what he was doing wrong, when their eyes suddenly met. They stared at each other for several lingering minutes.

The next moment she was finding herself pinned on the ground and his dark dark eyes above her. She thought back at her life at the Hidden Mist and those eyes, stared back at these dark ones which stared differently at her. For some reason these eyes didn't bear hatred towards her, these eyes didn't wish her dead, in fact, they betrayed something desirous. Her gaze dropped to the left when he pierced his sword in the ground right next to her head, close enough to slice away the tiniest bit of hair and warmed her left cheek with its electric shocks. She stared lifelessly at it while knowing Sasuke could've pierced it right through her head, but there was one thing Kumiko was sure of, and that was that Sasuke would never kill her for he needed her. And the other way round Kumiko needed him as much, for Sasuke Uchiha was her new purpose so she would take care of him without any hesitation, as long as it was helping Lord Orochimaru. His hand was shaking while still clinching onto the sword not out of fear but out of hatred and anger, not realizing that the anger and hatred he felt right now was because of this training and because of her bleak expression.

His nose traced down from neck to collarbone, absorbing the wonderful scent of the ocean, fresh air, freshly-cut grass and a touch of sweet cherries brushed like paint on her shoulders because of her shampoo, the strange smell of cinnamon and smoke, apples and sweat not yet stirring with it. Her smell was one little feature of her eternal beauty that kept you from training and concentrating, there was also her hair, her skin, her eyes and furthermore, everything except her voice. She was a natural piece of art in every possible way, as long as she held still and shut her mouth, so Sasuke covered her lovely small lips with his hand and continued the bunny-sniffing, almost going into ecstasies. She was better than any drug in the whole world.

"Go ahead."

He stopped after hearing her hoarse voice and looked up at her, ashamed by his own actions and lack of self-control and at the same time so so confused because she sent him a face like she didn't mind, worst of all, she just had told him she didn't mind.

"Lord Orochimaru assigned me as protector of his new perfect vessel," she continued, the first time in two years Sasuke properly witnessed the girl speaking such a long sentence, "so go ahead." She closed her eyes.

It was rumbling inside Sasuke's head, should he just take advantage of the opportunity? Can he just do something like that? What about the girl? But on the other hand, he was practically dying to do it. He was in the dark now, so should he even care about what the girl thinks? Maybe he should just do it, maybe he should just rip her clothes off and thrust his swollen limb deep inside her. He stared at the metal kunai knife catching most of the sunlight and reflecting it, as if it had fallen from heaven to give him some sort of sign. It rested teasingly at the inner side of her thigh with a bandage wrapped around it, pointing downwards like it was trying to get people from raping her. Sasuke seized for the knife, brought it to her dress and slowly but surely started cutting it when suddenly her breasts were exposed, small and firm but so so perfect, the first time Sasuke actually beheld a woman's body. He wanted to see more.

He continued after several minutes of staring, now cutting her underwear until every last bit of disturbing none-pale-skinned cloth was gone, and instead of shamelessly diving in he kept his eyes on her fragile small body. A beautiful girl she was indeed, but he had never expected to be able to count her ribs. It was now obvious that, even though Orochimaru had supported a roof over Kumiko's head, she was extremely underfed and far from healthy, because Sasuke had witnessed several times the experiments on Kumiko, how Kabuto stuffed her with drugs. And counting ribs wasn't the only thing he could do, he started counting the several scars on her chest and stomach. He lost count.

He stood up abruptly with only his pants on, for it was the only piece of cloth he had yet to take off if he wanted to fuck the girl, however he did not have the guts to do it after witnessing this. He wanted to leave right away before he would lose it, when her cold dying hand stopped him. "Don't – go easy."

He lost it.

As abruptly as he had stood up he found himself back on top of her, agitated working his way out of his pants and without even saying a thing penetrated her so so deep it almost seemed impossible. For the first time Kumiko narrowed her eyes and bit her underlip, but Sasuke wouldn't even have the time to admire the girl's expression for he had other things on his mind. He needed to get deeper, faster, and god, she felt great, amazing, so this was this strange thing called sex that every guy was talking about, he could do this all day if he wanted to. It was exactly the way how his perspiring body became one with her that made him lose it, but before Sasuke knew – after all this was his first time – he was coming after a minute or two so pulled back out of fear of awakening some sort of monster in her uterus. After wiping away the sweat on his forehead he started pulling himself together, when her icy blue eyes looked up at him, sending him a dead gaze that made you want to commit suicide. "STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!" and hit her in the face. He tried to relax his pounding heart and short breaths, stop his eyes from shaking, until they saw the little stream of blood dripping down her chin.

With eyes wide open he worked his way on his trembling feet and walked ashamed away. "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!" He lost it in a different way.


Note: In the first part Jiraiya was still alive, so this happened before he went on his mission. In the second part, when Tsunade heals Kumiko, Jiraiya's dead. This part happened right after Jiraiya died, although Naruto doesn't know about that yet. This also means that Pain's attack on the village is yet to come.

Hey guys, I'm kind'a stuck with my story, so if you have an idea, please help me! ShadowOfSelfd.

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