A.N Important! Please note that I only claim to have written Emma's words not any of the other characters words in the first section of the story. All the details are mine and the other words too. Just not the speaking parts... Right I hope I cleared that up... Clear as mud right? but the other speaking bits were vital to get right because I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to that sort of stuff. You'll see why.
I am also running on 4 hours sleep in the last 48, having been awake for the last 25 of those consecutively. I'm just impressed I didn't face plant the keyboard really. I live on Red Bull and good coffee. Feel free to supply those if the mood takes you… or reviews, they also give me wings. ;-) But here it is, chapter nine. Totally worth it! If anything makes no sense, I plead lack of blood in my caffeine system. Just let me know and I'll rework it. Also any mistakes belong entirely to me… I'm not afraid to own them!
Please let me know what you think of the chapter. I'm a little nervous about it. It's either pretty good or I over complicated a whole lot of things.
As always, thank you so much for your reviews! They really do induce great bouts of frantic writing. See evidence below for confirmation.
Charlie
Chapter 9
Emma opened her eyes and found she was lying on the ground just as she had on the staircase landing but, again, Regina was missing from her arms. Cool night air was swirling around her and there was a fog laying low to the ground. "Well I guess that answers the question. Where the hell am I this time?" She glanced around her and noticed a building about fifty feet away. Guessing it was as good a place as any to begin to look for Regina, she got to her feet and headed over towards it. She tried the door but it seemed to be sealed shut. "So I pass through people but the door stays solid. Oh, that's really fair. Stupid ghost shit." She muttered to herself.
As she walked around the outside of what she now guessed to be a stable, she heard Regina's voice. "You're impossible to talk to. Stop with the magic and listen to me. I want to be with Daniel."
Emma frowned, she knew that name. She felt her heart sink as she kept moving, trying to find a way in. She heard Cora's voice and growled in her chest. "Oh, you don't know what you want, but I do. I didn't make the sacrifices I did in life to get you to the cusp of greatness so that you could end up the wife of a stable boy."
Emma finally found a window but it was covered in bars. She looked through to see Cora facing her, and what looked like a teenage Regina standing with her back towards her next to, whom she assumed to be, Daniel. "But it's my life."
Cora laughed, "You foolish girl." The smile dropped from her face," it's mine. After what I had to do, the deals I had to make to get us out of poverty, to get us this life, and you just want to toss it away?"
Emma heard Daniel whisper, "Stay strong, Regina."
Regina shook her head, "Your magic can't keep us apart. I love him."
"And I love her." Daniel looked at Cora.
"And I love her, too." Cora glared at Daniel.
"You don't know the meaning of the word love, Cora!" Emma muttered vehemently, "Your sick and twisted version isn't love at all." She tugged uselessly on the bars.
Regina sounded like she had tears in her eyes, "If you loved me, you wouldn't try to keep us apart."
Cora replied, "And if you loved me, you wouldn't try to run away."
"That's fucking blackmail!" Emma felt her rage bubble up.
"I'm sorry, but this is my happiness. We're going." Emma was proud to see Regina standing up to her mother, she just wished with everything she had that it had been enough, that Regina had just been able to leave and have her happiness but she knew it was useless. This wasn't destined to end that way.
Cora took a step towards the couple, her hand glowing with magic. "No. You're not."
"So what's your plan? You're going to keep us here forever?" Regina stepped back closer to Daniel, "Because that's what you'll have to do."
Cora looked sad and Emma tried to yell a warning to Regina and Daniel, even though it was pointless. "Don't fall for it! She has no heart! She can't feel anything!" She knew, she just knew what was coming, where Regina's memory had taken her and it made her sick. She knew what Cora was going to do and screamed her frustration. She had to get into that room, had to do something, anything to stop this before it ran its course. She rushed back to the doors and started kicking at them. The older brunette spoke, "So this is your decision? This will make you happy?"
"Oh, God, Regina. Don't trust her, please don't trust her. She doesn't deserve it. Run! Just run!" Emma drove her shoulder into the door, crying out at the unexpected pain. This is a memory. Why the hell did that hurt? So unfair. Then she heard the happiness in Regina's voice and closed her eyes as a different sort of pain lanced through her, "It already has."
"Then who am I to stop you?"
"Thank you, mother."
"No, no, no. Regina… No." Emma moaned, her heart starting to break. She stepped back and took another charge at the door and sailed through it like it wasn't even there. She sprawled on the floor, surprise shooting through her but she didn't question what had happened. Too many strange things had been happening lately so all she could do was go with the flow. She looked up to see Regina hugging her mother and she wanted to rip the teenager out of the other woman's arms. The younger brunette then turned to Daniel with such a look of love on her face, a look Emma had never seen before but hoped she would see again. It was wonderful to behold, it lit up her face and blazed from her eyes and she hated knowing that it was about to be torn from her.
She watched as Cora walked towards Daniel, with Regina trailing behind, happy tears coursing down her face, "Daniel." She turned the boy away from Regina and walked a few more paces. "If you want to have a life together, a family, then there's one important lesson I can impart on you. It's what it means to be a parent. You always have to do what's best for your children."
Emma climbed to her feet, ignoring her aching shoulder and moved quickly over to Regina. She whispered, "Please, don't watch. Don't make yourself relive it again." She tried to grab hold of her, to break them both out of this memory before it reached its end game but her hand could make no contact. "Why?" She called out to no one in particular, "Why let me in if you won't let me stop this? She doesn't need to see this. She knows what happens!"
I let you in because I could no longer keep you out and sometimes it is necessary to see all there is to see in order to learn all that must be learned. Regina's voice whispered through her mind and she glanced sharply at the young woman beside her, but teenage Regina was still focused on her mother and Daniel. Regina? She tried calling in her mind but got no answer and frowned. What did that mean?
Daniel smiled at Cora then looked towards Regina, "Thank you. I understand. Because that's what you're doing now."
"Yes. It is." Cora drove her hand into Daniels chest.
Regina cried out, "Mother!" As Cora ripped out his heart and the boy fell to the ground, Emma hung her head. She may have been allowed in but she had failed. She dropped to her knees, tears pouring down her face at Regina's anguished cries. What can possibly be learned from this? This is cruel.
Regina ran forward, "No! No! No." She knelt and pulled Daniel into her lap, that one word continuing to fall from her lips. She turned to look up at her mother, her heart break evident on her face. "Mother, why have you done this?"
"Because this is your happy ending."
Emma looked up and snarled, "That? That's what you told her, her happy ending was? You sick twisted bitch. She could have been happy… She can still be happy. Regina deserves the happy ending you stole and I'll find it for her if it's the last thing I do."
"What?" Regina exclaimed at her mother then turned back to Daniel, kissing him gently on the lips as if trying to bring him back to life.
Cora stood over her, "Oh, you have to trust me, Regina. I know best. Love is weakness, Regina. It feels real now. At the start, it always does but it's an illusion. It fades, and then you're left with nothing, but power, true power endures. And then you don't have to rely on anyone to get what you want. I've saved you, my love."
Emma climbed to her feet, not caring that Cora couldn't see or hear her. She got right in the woman's face, getting between Regina and the older woman and screamed at her, "Saved her? You did this! You did this to her! You made her the Evil Queen. She loved him and you crushed her. You robbed her of her life!" She wanted to pound on the woman, "She was good and you drove that from her. All she ever wanted is love." Oh… Could that…
Emma turned back and knelt by Regina, "I don't know if you can hear me, but please, remember this. Love is never weakness, it's strength and true love… True love never fades, it only grows stronger. It took a long time for me to realise that too, but it's true. As much as you would hate to admit it, you only have to look at my parents to see that. Even the curse couldn't keep them apart. Don't keep pushing everyone away because you're afraid of getting hurt. You don't have to be alone. You need to remember that Daniel loved you and that you were so very worthy of that love."
She raised her hand, wishing she could caress the teenager's cheek. "You also need to know that you are still worthy of love, despite everything you've done. Love can heal, Regina and I want to see you whole again. I want to see this woman, this side of you who was strong and brave and stood up to her mother, who wasn't afraid to love. The Evil Queen is only a small portion of the person you are, a path your mother originally put you on and you've just gotten so lost in her that you can't see what I see. I see the good in you, I know it's there. I see the person you're trying to be and I believe in her."
Briefly, so briefly she wasn't sure if she imagined it or not, she saw dark brown eyes glance at her instead of through her and then Regina turned back to her mother, her fury at the woman evident on her face, "You've ruined everything. I loved him." She moved to get up off the ground, yelling, "I loved him!"
Emma climbed to her feet as Cora grabbed Regina by the arm, dragging her the rest of the way to her feet. "Enough!" She turned Regina to face her, "I've endured this long enough." The blonde moved up behind the younger brunette, standing as close as she could trying to offer comfort even though she knew it was impossible. Cora brushed her fingers across the young brunette's cheeks, "Now clean yourself up, and wipe away your tears," She grabbed her chin and tilted it up, looking into her eyes, "because now you're going to be Queen."
Emma watched as Regina just stared at her mother, her heart so very obviously broken then once more, her world went black.
Regina lay there, listening to the heart thud under her ear. It's steady beat, a soothing balm to the grief she had awakened to. Her hand was fisted tightly in the jacket under her head as she kept seeing her mother plunge her hand into Daniel's chest, rip out his heart and crush it to nothing more than dust. It was a memory she had purposely buried, only using the anger it provoked because the pain had been too much to bear, and now that wound, that had never completely healed, had been torn open again to bleed into her soul. Tears silently escaped from under her closed eyes, slipping down her face to soak the fabric beneath her cheek.
She worked hard to focus on the rhythm under her ear, that pulse of life that beat strong and true, a signal of the life of the one person alive who had seen her in her darkest hour. The point at which she had hardened her heart so she could never be hurt again. Never, that was, until a small child had entered her life and begun what she had thought impossible and now that boy's mother was having the same effect on her and it left her terrified and breathless all at the same time.
The one person who stayed through that moment and fought for her, even when she thought Regina would never know. She let the whispered words fill her mind to drive out the vicious scene playing over and over again. She let the glimpse of stunning green eyes staring into hers fill the void. She wanted to believe Emma so much but she couldn't, she alone knew of all her wicked deeds and while her mother had indeed put her on the first step of her dark path, it was she who ultimately walked down it.
Without love, all she had had left was hate and she had hated as passionately as she had once loved. Maybe love could heal, but who would ever love the Evil Queen, even if she wasn't evil anymore? Daniel had told her to love again and she so desperately wanted to but who would ever love her? Who would help her heal?
Could she ever trust someone enough to love them and let them love her? She truly didn't know the answer to that. She hadn't trusted anyone in a very long time, not since Snow White and look at what that misplaced trust had resulted in.
Could Emma really see through the Evil Queen, through her past to the woman she kept trying so hard to be? She didn't want to hope, hopes were often dashed but Emma's words had stirred something in her she couldn't quite quell.
The beat under her ear changed, speeding up and she knew that this moment was coming to an end. That she would soon have to face reality again and let go of the hope her heart was begging her to hold on to.
All too soon the memory was wreaking havoc in her mind again. Her mother ripped her love's heart out and crushed it, time after time. Daniel… Oh God, Daniel. I loved you so much. I got so lost without you. I'm sorry, so very sorry.
She tightened her fist even more, holding the person closer. Emma, her mind whispered and she acknowledged its answer, unable to keep her distance from the woman, even in her mind. She held on to Emma as the blonde shifted herself up on to one elbow.
"Regina?" Emma whispered and the brunette shook her head as the tremors she had fought since waking up broke free at the sound. A hand was lightly placed on her lower back, it felt like a question which only made her shake harder with the sorrow she was trying to hold in.
The hand slowly stroked upwards to settle on the back of her neck, a thumb reaching out to softly caress behind her ear. It felt like gentle acceptance and the tenderness in the gesture was her undoing, decades of suppressed grief came bubbling to the surface. She moaned low in her throat, the sound of a wounded animal and all the pain and anguish of that night came pouring out in a torrent.
Emma slowly sat up, taking the brunette with her, the hand she had on her neck never pausing in its soothing movement. The fist in her jacket wound itself tighter, Regina's other hand slipping around her back to grip there.
She slowly shifted Regina's lower body until she could slip her free arm under her knees. She moved her hand from the other woman's neck until it was settled under her shoulders and lifted her up into her arms. She managed to get her own knees under her and, with a small grunt, got to her feet, the Queen nestled against her chest, her face shifting upwards to bury itself against Emma's neck. She could feel hot tears burning a trail down her throat as Regina continued to mourn. Sobs still wracked through the smaller woman's body as Emma climbed the rest of the stairs and entered Regina's bedroom. She moved over to the bed and placed Regina gently down on the sheets and unwound her arms from around the woman.
When Regina felt Emma's arms leave her, she thought her moment of solace was over. That she was once again being left alone to try and cope with her heartache. What the blonde had provided so far was more than she had ever expected. Managing on her own was what she was used to and it was the only conclusion her grief fogged mind could jump to. She made herself let go, refusing to give in and beg the woman to stay even though her heart pleaded with her to do just that. She rolled over to face the other direction to stop herself, unable to endure watching her walk away. Afraid that if she did, she would indeed beg and that would be unbearable.
She expected to hear the soft footsteps of the retreating woman, and she wasn't disappointed. Her heart sunk lower, which she didn't think possible then she heard a noise come from her wardrobe and returning footsteps. What was the woman doing? The question was answered in a swish of noise that met her ears and then one of her old quilts settled over her. The next thing she heard was a couple of thuds and the rustle of clothes then the quilt lifted, bed dipped behind her and a warm hand was on her arm tugging her back to face the blonde.
An arm slipped under her neck and drew her towards the waiting comfort of Emma's chest before the hand settled back on her neck and deft fingers resumed their soft strokes. She settled her ear over the blonde's heart, craving the solace of the sound. She reached up her hand and, once again, fisted it, not in a jacket this time, but a soft cotton tank top. She felt the blonde shift and settle the quilt about them then Emma's free hand was covering hers, the thumb worming its way into her closed fingers and she held on as if it was the difference between life and death.
Regina clung to Emma, her body still shaking as more tears than she thought she could possibly have left continued to fall, heartbroken sounds escaping her when she could no longer contain them, one of them the Savior's name, barely whispered.
The blonde squeezed her hand, "Shhh, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you." Emma's lips brushed against her forehead as she continued to murmur nonsense words of comfort to the brunette, holding her close, keeping her safe and letting the woman mourn her lost love in a way, she suspected, she had never been able to before.
Eventually Regina quietened, her grief finally subdued. Her tight grip on Emma lessened in its intensity but did not entirely let go as she slowly relaxed, exhausted but feeling lighter in her heart and soul as the pain she had not realised she carried eased but did not go away completely. She doubted it ever would now that it had been freed from its cage, and hoped that wasn't a bad thing.
Emma lay still, as she listened to the even breathing of the woman in her arms. Her torment had been like a living thing, filling up the entire room in its anguish. Her heart had broken over and over again listening to the brunette grieve over her lost love. She had sounded so broken and all Emma could do was hold her closer and hope that what she could offer was enough. It was when Regina quietly murmured her name like a plea that she knew she would do absolutely anything this woman asked of her. In that second she realised she wasn't simply attracted to Regina, she was falling in love with her and that rather than scare the hell out of her as she expected any feeling of love to, that realisation just settled quietly in her mind with calm acceptance, almost as if a part of her had known it for years. She was sure once she had time to really think about it she might not feel quite so relaxed but for the moment it was enough.
Thinking Regina had fallen asleep, Emma allowed herself to slip into a light doze. Just as she was drifting deeper, satisfied the immediate crisis had passed, she was brought back to the surface. The brunette's voice, still gravely with tears drifted up to her ears. "I'm still angry with you, Ms. Swan. You shouldn't be here."
Regina felt more than heard Emma's laugh. "Why am I not surprised that's the first thing out of your mouth?"
Regina smiled into Emma's chest. "Because you never listen and I continually have to repeat myself."
Emma laughed again, "Shut up and go to sleep."
So…? Did I nail it or fail it? Also, no cliffy. *bows* You're welcome. (So tired… anything that pops into my head is in danger of ending up here so I'll just say thanks again for reading! You guys are epic in my eyes! I love you all! (I think I should probably listen to Emma too, but it won't happen.)
