A host to a Yeerk is alone, isolated from all around them. At the same time, we are never allowed privacy.

It is a boring existence.

I suppose that's a strange thing to say, but it's true. Besides speaking to the Yeerk and watching him steal my life away, the only thing I had to occupy my time were my own thoughts, which offered little comfort for the situation I was in. I often found myself on the verge of slipping into bouts of depression.

I could have let myself go, I suppose... stopped fighting... it would have been easy. But I couldn't. Even then, when I was disgraced and captured, even with my pride stripped away, the only thing I had left was the fight. The fight against the intruder in my mind. It was a fight that I could not win. But I soon realized that I could not look at it in terms of winning and being free or losing and being imprisoned. As long as I still was angry and aware enough to fight, the Yeerk had not won yet.

I would not submit. The Yeerk could say it was pointless and pathetic, but it was all I really had left. I would be damned if I gave it up.

The fight was all I had left.

That, and my memories.

All I could think of was how this had happened, what I could have done differently, who was to blame...

Elfangor.

He did this to me. He did this. If he had just followed my orders, none of this would have happened! The Yeerks would have revealed themselves and tried to save the others, we'd have killed them or starved them out, retrieved the time matrix, and returned home.

But no. No, he had to be an idealist. Just like that fool Seerow, releasing the Yeerks into the galaxy. Like his pathetic daughter, Aldrea, going native and putting the needs of the Hork-Bajir above those of her own people. Just like the fools who condemned me and made me a disgrace, believing themselves to be my moral superiors.

The fool didn't even have the decency to rectify his mistake. He didn't destroy me when he had the chance. If I ever had the chance... If ever given the chance... I would kill him. I would kill that pathetic fool for his weakness and cowardice! I would kill him for allowing me to become this!

I would kill him...

Even so, it was entirely possible that he was already dead. The last I'd seen of him was in that world made by the Time Matrix. Maybe he died there. Maybe he was still there now with that female alien.

If only I had gone home. Left the aliens and the Time Matrix to someone else and returned home. If I had done that, I might be holding my wife now... instead of watching the Visser pace about his quarters, waiting for a call from the Council of Thirteen.

I am a husband, a father, I should be with my family. But now I know I will never see them again. I long to see them again, but I pray I never will. I know if I do, it will end with me watching them either die or be dragged down an infestation pier.

My family... I could only imagine what they must be facing now. My disgrace had already had an effect on them before I'd been taken. Now…

My son, Ardan, was having trouble in his classes. He was becoming very distant and reckless, acting out and getting into fights. Jahar believed he was perhaps being bullied by the other children. He had always been a thoughtful, quiet boy and my disgrace had had just as large an effect on him as it had on me. He reminded me of how my brother had been when we were children, which worried me. Arbat had always been more of a scholar then a Warrior. I had wondered if Ardan would be able to be strong during this time of war. I had hoped he would grow to be a soldier, like me...

Now the possibility that my son would become a soldier and meet me on the battle field...

On my best days I imagined him being a great Prince and killing the Visser, setting me free... on my worst days I imagine myself forced to watch as the Visser kills my son with my own body.

I hoped he wouldn't join the army; I hoped to never see him again. I hoped he would be strong and protect his mother and his sister, now that I could not.

My daughter...

She was only just born. Jahar and I had not chosen a name before I left. We would have, when I returned. I would never see my daughter. I would never know her name. I would never know her.

They would be mistreated, surely, as the family of the disgraced War Prince and now Andalite-Controller. I had learned the hard way how fickle my own people could be. The fact that my family would suffer for my failure made it all the worse.

There is no escape from the Visser or the Yeerks. My only chance to be freed was if someone else finally killed me.

The doors to the Visser's quarters opened. Until then, he had been lost in his own thoughts as much as I was in mine. {What is it? I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed!}

The Hork-Bajir controller was silent. He was examining my body. "When I'd heard you had managed to take an Andalite as a host, I knew I had to see it for myself." The Hork-Bajir gave an unpleasant smile. "It seems your hard work finally paid off... I suppose I lost the bet."

I expected the Visser to snap at him, but he actually seemed to relax. {Oh, I didn't recognize you. You... you have a new host body.}

There was a strange, awkward air between the two of them. They knew each other? Were they close in some way? Was that possible?

The Hork-Bajir entered the room. "Yes, my last host was getting old, you know what short lifespans these Hork-Bajir have." He was still examining my body as if I was some kind of exotic animal in a zoo. "Though you won't have to worry about that anymore..."

{What are you doing here?} The Visser asked...

The Yeerk laughed a little. "What? Now that you have an Andalite host, are you too good for the rest of us?" He seemed to be joking... but there was a bitter edge to it.

{Don't be a fool.}

Silence.

"What's it like?" He asked, the tone of bitterness that had laced his voice now gone.

The Visser was silent for a long time, perhaps trying to find the right words. {Do... do you remember what it was like moving from a Gedd to a Hork-Bajir?}

The Hork-Bajir controller nodded.

{It's like that... only so much more. There's so much power in this body, speed, and intelligence... It makes a Hork-Bajir look like a Gedd in comparison.}

There was a chime indicating an incoming message.

{The council...}

The two cast uncertain looks at one another. Before either could react, a holographic image appeared. There were thirteen controllers covered in dark red robes, hiding most of their hosts' species.

"Visser Thirty-Two." One of them said, appearing to barely glance at the Hork-Bajir.

The Visser stood at attention. {Honored Council members.}

"We have heard of your recent achievements, Visser, and we're pleased with your progress. Your successes in battle against the Andalites, the knowledge of their technologies you've managed to acquire, as well as your recent success on the Mak home world..."

I felt a jolt of pride from the Visser, though he was sure to keep me expressionless. {Thank you.}

"Yes, we're very pleased. So much so, we have new orders for you."

{Whatever you see fit for me, I will do.} I made me sick to hear him sucking up to his superiors in my voice.

"Esplin 9466 Prime, we have seen fit to elevate you to the rank of Visser Three. You will lead our forces in the destruction of the Andalites starting immediately."

I felt the new Visser Three smile with my eyes. {I will not disappoint you.} He said, unable to hide his excitement.

The image flickered out. The Yeerk was beaming. He looked to the Hork-Bajir controller, who seemed to almost be glaring at the Visser...but it only lasted a second.

"Well... it seems congratulations are in order... brother..." The rank he was trying to say stuck in his host's throat before he forced it out. "Visser Three."


AUTHORS NOTES

First off for I'd like to say a quick thanks to Shane C, who has offered to be a Beta reader for this story, lord knows I needed one! ;) (No, I REALLY needed one)

Next, a thank you to those who have been reading and leaving reviews! I'm glad you like the story and I always look forward to reading your comments on the chapters.

And, finally, a quick word about the story itself.

This chapter feels a little dry to me, dry but necessary. I knew I had to reestablish Alloran's hate for Elfangor and his mourning of the life he's lost. But this chapter also made me realize, while this is Alloran's story, it's not ONLY Alloran's story. (Whether he likes it or not) It's also Visser Three's story of rising to power and going absolutely bonkers along the way. So I decided in introduce Esplin's twin. We know from the Hork Bajir chronicles that Visser Three wasn't always a lunatic and I hope to maybe play around with the descent into the power mad and monologuing Visser Three we all know and love. (Besides I figure you can only have so many chapters focusing solely on Alloran's anger and disgust before it starts getting old, but hey, maybe that's just me.)

I have some ideas for the story, I may have very short interludes where we switch to Alloran's family and see how their handling all this, I may do something really stupid like make this an alternate reality story and change what happens to Alloran where maybe he somehow escapes... I'm not sure. I was never quite sure where I was taking this story when I started it. I just really wanted to write about Alloran because after rereading Animorphs he became one of my favorite characters. (No Joke)

I started this story on a whim and I have no idea if or when I'll loose interest in writing it. Which is entirely possible. It's possible I'll loose interest and stop writing for months or even years... I'm sorry if that happens, but my imagination is really fickle that way. But if that DOES happen I'll do my best to not leave you guys on a bad cliffhanger or something.

So, anyway, be sure to let me know what you think! And again, thanks for reading!