I don't own LWD. And, thank you reviewers. You're the best. Sorry it's taken me a week. Life… (without Derek).

Previously: Twilight had faded to complete dusk. Clasping Casey's hand Derek pulled her to her feet, both of them studiously avoiding eye contact as an undercurrent of pleasure and agitation ran between them. She suddenly realised that perhaps the night with Derek and her and Lizzie and Marti was going to be fun after all. And she shivered in anticipation, suddenly and intuitively aware what Derek had been smiling about when she first caught sight of him.

Chapter Eight – With Your Body

Casey softly disengaged her hand from Derek's as they entered the hallway. She knew she would have to face a house full of guests for at least a few minutes before she could be alone again, and she wanted the colour that now suffused her cheeks to fade a little before she confronted her mother, or broached the swirling pool of feelings between her stepbrother and herself.

She watched him climb the stairs without glancing back at her. How was he always so sure of himself? And why did her heart pound in dancing spirals every time she watched him move?

'Casey! Darling, did you study good?' Nora greeted her, smiling up from a hand of cards. Jack Vernon too looked up and smiled a warm greeting.

'Yes, thanks, mom. How're you guys doing?'

'Amazingly well,' sighed Audrey Vernon. Then Peter spoke almost for the first time in Casey's hearing, 'Jack and Nora have had all the luck tonight. It's a good thing they didn't agree to play for real cash.'

George was nowhere in sight; neither was Elsie-May, who must have retired for the night. Casey glanced at Cornelia Richardson involuntarily as Audrey's husband spoke, and saw her looking daggers at Nora. This could not be good.

The woman just hated to lose, be the game one of skill or chance. In fact, be it in life or for real. She was just unbelievably competitive, as Casey knew from the many times her mother had come home looking utterly fagged after a day with her boss, boosting her ego and trying to avoid the appearance of defeat at all costs. But tonight, buoyed by the success of her day with their difficult guests, and by the kind attentiveness of Audrey Vernon's son Jack, Nora was looking relaxed and pretty. Not at all apprehensive about the fact that she'd been winning at cards against her boss.

Casey decided she had to allow her mother this respite, even if it meant she would be going up to bed later than she'd anticipated. She seated herself next to Cornelia and her husband, and for the next twenty minutes proceeded in a quiet and subtle manner to satisfy the woman's need for attention by asking her all sorts of questions about her company and its brilliance. Soon everyone was smiling and listening to the Richardson's boast about their respective successes in business and private life.

Then, just as Casey was glumly beginning to think she'd be here all night, listening to the dreadful boasting of a couple she was fast coming to despise, the clock struck nine, and Nora asked her gently if she'd mind taking Marti and Lizzie upstairs to bed. Casey said she would be delighted, and happily said goodnight to everyone. Jack rose to kiss her goodbye, and Casey smiled up at him in pleasure as he told her,

'We'll be gone by the time you get up in the morning, but it's been an absolute pleasure meeting you Casey McDonald.' Casey and he exchanged e-mail addresses; everyone rose to hug her, and then Casey grabbed a sleepy Marti into her arms and headed up the stairs.

It was thus that Casey found herself for the first time that day in Derek's room, with her two younger sisters in tow and a head full of thoughts about College, unwritten letters and tingling touches.

As soon as she saw the cushions on the floor between his desk and the bed, where Derek was sitting listening to something on his ipod, Casey understood that there was no way she would fit alongside her sisters. It was a fait accompli.

He looked up at her, casually, without taking off his headphones, but she sensed the anxiety in his glance.

He had arranged the room; was she happy with it? She looked away, unable to let him see the giddiness overtaking her. Since when did he seek her approval? In fact, since when did he want her beside him, and Marti on the ground? This was an invitation and she had no doubt about it.

She could hear the soft thud of raindrops hitting the window of Derek's room and the louder thud of her heart.

Without agonising over it, as she might have done in other less crowded circumstances, she made the girls lie down side by side, sitting squashed between them for ten minutes while she told Marti a swift story about a prince who lived on the moon and dined on cheese which he carved from the ground of his home.

'What a cheesy story', Lizzie murmured, smiling, as Casey finished the tale and hugged them. They both kissed her and covered themselves in their comfortable quilts. 'Night Case', 'Night, night.' Marti was already snuggling up with her monkey and her eyes closed. Lizzie was humming to herself.

By the look of it, they were exhausted and would soon be asleep. It was just half past nine; and Monday was a national holiday.

Casey quietly tiptoed to the bathroom to get into her pyjamas. She went through her usual routine in a hurry, realising that their guests would soon walk up the stairs to use the facilities.

Somewhere between putting moisturiser on her skin and brushing her teeth, she realised that her hands were shaking. Snatches of her earlier conversations with Derek and also with Jack Vernon raced through her head. One of them had as good as told her she was beautiful. The other had, in a more subtle way, indicated that he liked spending time with her, and that he almost trusted her. Both of them had shown her things about herself that she'd badly needed to know. And this had given her confidence.

Footsteps passed outside and she snapped out of her reverie and knocked her hand against the sink. Somehow she'd managed to splash water all over her nightclothes as she rinsed her mouth. What a drag. And why was she being so clumsy all of a sudden?

Back in Derek's room, she sucked on her sore knuckles. Derek was now lying on his back on the side of the bed closest to the wall, arms behind his head, in a brown tee shirt and shorts. The main light was off and only his lamp lit the room with a slightly eerie glow. He was looking straight at her, alert and slightly amused. She thought he was getting ready to make one of he usual witticisms at her expense and suddenly she almost welcomed that; at least it would break this suffocating tension she had begun to experience at the thought of climbing into his bed. Instead he simply patted the mattress next to him.

Unable to stall any longer, Casey stepped gingerly across the feet of her sleeping siblings and sat down. With painfully stiff movements, she stretched herself out along the very outer edge of his bed, careful not even to nudge Derek with her elbow. She lay like that on her side in silence for some minutes, her left hand trailing down slightly so that it almost touched Lizzie's leg. Derek made no sound behind her, except that she could once more hear a slight beat emanating from his headphones.

More footsteps went past the door and she held her breath hoping that no-one would knock to ask for anything. She wished fervently that she'd switched off the lamp. Then she felt glad that it was on. There was nothing improper in lying on the edge of one's stepbrother's bed with the light on, was there?

Casey's throat was so dry she wondered if she was coming down with the flu. She could barely swallow, and for some reason, she was suddenly too terrified to turn her head because of the pair of brown eyes she knew would be there, staring, waiting to overturn her reason and her common sense. She heard a clock chime ten. This was going to be such a long night. She sighed.

--

Derek was lying equally motionless. It was ten o' clock and he was anything but tired.

He had been puzzling over Casey's behaviour since she entered the room with the younger ones. Was she annoyed with him about the sleeping arrangements? Casey was always talking to him about what it was and wasn't right to do, the impropriety of this and the immorality of that. For years now she had ruled his conscience, if not his actions. But there were times when he sensed that she was wrong. Clinging to ideals which did not make sense. For that reason he had made sure she had no say in where anyone slept.

It was quite possible that she was utterly furious at being placed in a position like this. He felt agonised and miserable, but managed to hide it by acting as relaxed as a tiger and giving her most of the bed to do what she liked with. He switched his music back on, but left the headphones on the bed between them. A tinny beat issued from them, making the room feel a little less wired but still unbearably hot.

Shifting slightly, Derek sat up and pushed his window open a bit. A cool, wet breeze stormed over them, bringing with it the smell of fresh leaves and earth. Then he heard Casey draw in her breath and sigh.

It was something about that small lonely sound which made Derek act.

He had a band he was extremely fond of playing on his ipod. He put one strand of the earphones in his left ear and then without asking her, he placed his hand on Casey's arm, turned her slightly towards him and inserted the twin earphone in her right ear. It was the sort of arrogant gesture he knew might irritate her. But Casey's gaze when it met his was anything but annoyed. In fact, the fear he recognised totally surprised him. How could she be scared of him? This was brave Casey, facer down of bullies; defender of all scared kids. She could face anything.

Reaching out again to stroke her arm, he motioned for her to relax and listen to the music. She started to shake at his touch.

He didn't understand that it was herself she was most afraid of.

Suddenly, looking into the darkening blue of her irises, he found his own mouth dry, as it had been that evening weeks ago when she'd seated herself next to him on the couch for family film night. Damn it. There was nothing on this whole earth he wanted to do more than pull her towards him and hold on with all his strength. But she seemed to be imploring him not to. So he made a choice to do what he thought she would want. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he spoke just to halt her shivering.

'Casey.'

She didn't say anything but she was looking at him curiously, and she moved slightly closer so she could hear him. It eased the taut wires on the headphones as she came towards him and he smelt her light perfume, toothpaste and flowers and soap, fresh and appealing.

'I wanted to tell you something earlier, when we were outside.' She raised her eyebrows in enquiry. The shaking had almost stopped. Derek reached out both his hands and pulled her gently into the enclosure of his arms, feeling in one second the curves of her body beneath her damp night shirt. She moved willingly now and lay with her face almost touching his cheek. Derek's voice was so low he wondered if he was actually speaking to her or to himself. And when she heard what he wanted to tell her, she wondered where this was going to lead.

'When you first applied to university, I didn't understand what it would mean. I was kind've annoyed with you for being so high and mighty about your grades and thinking you'd get a scholarship and I thought I didn't want you to get one because it would bring you down a peg or two to be left here, at home, with the rest of us.' He saw hurt start in her eyes, and she pulled the single headphone out of her ear, which had the effect of yanking his one out too. She wasn't going to hear him out.

But instead of moving away, she stretched out her arm and switched off the lamp; then she moved closer, so close in fact that they could feel each other's breath raising the small hairs on their skin, smell and sense each minute thing about the other. Reassured, he went on.

'Then I thought and thought about how I was feeling and I realised that I wasn't just jealous of your talent, or envious that you'd be going away to new and better things. I don't mind our family. I like living at home actually and I've always felt quite happy to go to a local college here instead of to some big old university.'

It was dark, but their eyes had adjusted in the light from the window, and Casey was staring right at him without blinking.

'It just slowly occurred to me that I was upset because I was anxious. I didn't want you to go away, princess. Because that would mean no more us. No more Derek and Casey, no more fights or banter or anything at all. It was like life was going to end when you left. I was feeling so sad I couldn't sleep; food didn't taste right.' He paused, 'Didn't the thought of our being apart ever bother you?'

There was silence. They could hear their sisters' soft breathing. And the hiss of rain on the leaves. And the call of a night bird somewhere.

'Say something.'

But Casey didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. Her throat, at first so dry, was now full of suppressed tears.

Without thinking she moved herself completely against him, until they were pressed together so close that there was nowhere to go. His arms were tight around her waist and her hands smoothed over his whole face, feverishly touching the lips she'd dreamed and thought and fantasized about so much in the past months, the forehead she always wanted to caress and then on, into his thick dark hair and back down to his lips and against his teeth, which smiled at her, until she felt as if he was part of a shooting star in her sky.

'Oh my God, Derek. Don't you know anything at all?'

They were kissing then, lips brushing against lips, fingers measuring and tracing tiny delicate patterns on cheeks and ears and eyebrows, each taking the other's touch as complicity in this joy.

Marti groaned and turned over in her sleep, her knee banging against Derek's computer table. They barely heard her. Rain splashed lightly on their toes, falling from the window in a kind of blessing. They did not feel it. A clock struck eleven. They paid it no heed.

Wrapped in each lengthening kiss, they thought neither ahead nor behind, of reasons nor consequences. And strangely, although both were excited by the passion they felt, they did not think about where kissing might lead them. This was simply how it had been meant to be for years and they had already wasted too much time.

'Casey.' Derek sounded hoarse. 'Tell me in words all the things I don't know.'

And now, relieved of months of pain and tension, Casey who was not quite the girl she used to be, but more of a woman replied.

'I could never leave you. That's the only thing you don't know, my stupid, beautiful, amazing sweetheart. Not unless I died. Now, you tell me all the things I don't know.'

She put a finger against Derek's lips as he opened them to speak his happiness.

'Uh huh. Not in words. With your body, tell me.'