25 Things You Should Never Do To Max

1. Don't call him a midget.

2. Don't call him Maxie.

3. Don't say Ash is smarter than him.

4. Don't remind him about the time his sister stripped on the beach in front of him, Ash, and Brock.

5. Don't call him 'Mr Insufferable Know-It-All'. One, that's Ash's line (see the rewritten ALoA for more information), and two, Hermione's the insufferable know-it-all.

6. Don't ask if he called Ash 'Alf' because he wants to be a pixie.

7. Don't hide his glasses.

8. If you do, don't taunt him about his poor vision.

9. Don't introduce him to PetalburgShipping.

10. If you do, don't show him the fanart of it.

11. Especially the Rule 34 PetalburgShipping fanart.

12. Don't replace his glasses with gag-eyes-and-nose glasses.

13. Don't taunt him about every friend he makes eventually leaving him.

14. Don't ask if he thinks you won't hit a kid with glasses on.

15. If you do, don't.

16. Don't introduce him to NavigatorShipping, MasumiShipping, WishShipping, or SundaeShipping.

17. If you do, don't show him fanfics about him being screwed by a lecherous 'breeder', a 'woman' who's probably twice his age, a big purple rock, or… whatever Harley is.

18. Don't tell him he doesn't stand a chance in that battle Ash promised him.

19. Don't laugh at him when he falls in a pitfall trap and leave him there to rot.

20. If you do, don't expect anyone else to rescue him.

21. Don't sing the lullaby his mother always sang to him and expect him to fall asleep.

22. Don't tell him, "Shut up, Mokuba." He won't understand what you're talking about.

23. Don't tell him bored me so much I left this list incomplete for months.

24. Don't tell him I said 'screw it, just do all the shit to him you want, he's a snot-nosed little kid and he deserves it.'

25. Don't listen to him; he's annoying, he states the obvious, and worst of all, he's usually right.

Next time, a new era of torture is Dawning.