Here we go, into the good stuff. :D Was a little iffy on the strength of some lines, but a bit of minor editing right before showtime has rendered it pretty much as smooth as it'll get. Enjoy.
Written 2009-2010, age 15.

/-/-


"Stwong Bad! Stwong Bad! You gotta feed The Cheat now!"

Strong Bad groaned loudly in reply, shoving his head into the couch as far as it would go.

"Stwong Bad, it is thwee-o-clock," Homestar snapped as he entered the room, waving a small watch around. "You have to look after your pets! See, this is why I never wanted you to get one in the first place."

"I never asked your opinion on ANYTHING!" said Strong Bad. "Get out of my house."

"You can blame me all you want, but at some point a The Cheat has to be fed." Homestar threw a thumb towards the stairs, the movement completely invisible save the watch flinging up. "I was up there a minute ago and boy he does not sound happy."

Strong Bad groaned again; a melodramatic, drawn-out affair, he then proceeded to kick himself up and stomp out of the room. Homestar himself was roughhoused out of the way violently.

"Sheesh, someone ain't a noon person," Homestar blinked, deftly regaining balance to follow his friend upstairs. The distinctive voice was audible from the kitchen, blurting out dog commands in a not-quite-soothing manner.

"... Okay, down boy, down. Fetch. Go away, Homestar," Strong Bad finished, glaring at his new audience. "As you maybe-can see, feeding is very difficult business."

The Cheat roared in affirmation, covering his owner in massive gobules of saliva.

"No, no, you're doing it all wrong. Can't you see that he's in his gluten-lactose-polytolewant phase?" Homestar snatched the dripping steak off Strong Bad and flung it aside in one smooth motion. "Wight now you can only feed him fish."

"What?! Ugh." Strong Bad massaged his forehead, groaning, as the towering monster softly headbutted him. "I can't believe I ever thought this would be awesome."

"And that's why I told you to think before getting a pet."