Chapter 9: Admissions
The next couple of days passed in a blur of routine, Katara going through the motions of sitting in court to hear grievances, eat meals, go to meetings… all the things she had to do, while inwardly her thoughts dwelled on that letter and what she was going to do about it. A message came from Brother Tashi, letting them know he had begun negotiations with the Earth King, but this didn't dissuade the conflict inside her, her more honest side wanting to come clean and have a frank discussion with Aang, the other side, who didn't want things to change, trying to convince her that her life as it was would be good enough. At night, she tossed and turned, her sleep filled with restless dreams of running and fighting, looking for an escape from all of the turmoil and stress.
Finally, the next morning something different happened, enough to break her out of the vicious cycle of her inner argument. When Liu woke her with tea, she also brought a reply letter from Sokka.
Katara, the letter started,
WHAT?! We are on our way RIGHT NOW. Our priest is bring us on her bison, so don't send one for us. We left the kids with Suki's sister. It shouldn't take us that long to get there, so expect us in a few days. I'm glad you wrote me.
Speaking of, you need to tell Dad. You know he'll help, and he'll be really hurt if you don't. I know you haven't talked to him in a long time, but he NEEDS to know about this. If you haven't written him by the time we get there, I'm going to tie you to a chair until you do.
Stay safe.
Sokka
At least preparing for Sokka to come and visit would give her something to focus on, Katara thought sourly. Although now she had to tell Aang she had asked him to come; she wasn't sure how he'd react. He liked Sokka, but that might be more of an admission that war was coming than he was willing to give. She quickly dressed and rushed off to find Aang, clutching the letter like it was a lifeline.
He wasn't in his rooms or eating breakfast, so she continued searching until she finally found him outside, showing some airbending tricks to a child, maybe eight or nine. He was laughing and looked happier than she had seen him in days, which made her heart ache with loss. Ignoring the ache, she ran up to him, out of breath with exertion. "Aang!" she panted. "Sokka's on his way!"
He turned and looked at her, his face growing more serious. "What? Why?"
Catching her breath, Katara responded, "Because I asked him to. I think he can help."
Aang shooed the kid away, who ran off giggling, and ran his hand over his bald head. "If that's what you think is best, I guess. It could be nice to have someone who's more… experienced with this kind of thing. Is he bringing his family?" His face brightened at the thought of seeing his nieces and nephew.
She shook her head. "No, I guess they didn't think it was safe. It sounds like Suki's coming, though. Here," she thrust the letter at him for him to read.
He scanned it quickly. "Why does he want you to write your father? And what does he mean you haven't talked in awhile? I thought you talked to him all the time."
Scuffing her foot on the ground like a shy teenager, she cleared her throat. "We kind of… had a fight a few years ago. I didn't think it was worth mentioning. Sokka wants me to write him because he'd bring ships, but I don't know if I want to involve him in all of this. It's not his fight."
"I'm sorry, Katara. I wish you had told me, maybe I could have helped. I'm not sure involving him is the right thing to do, either. We don't want it to look like we're preparing for war. We're just preparing to defeat Ozai. But you should forgive your father and write to him; you know how important forgiveness is, especially with your father!"
Says the man who never knew his parents, Katara thought darkly, although that wasn't quite fair, as Aang probably loved Gyatso in much the same way Katara loved Hakoda. "I'll think about it," she replied quietly.
Taking her hand and walking back inside, he finished brightly, "That's great! Now I guess we need to find a good room for Sokka and Suki and make sure it's clean!"
A suitable room was found and cleaned, leaving Katara with nothing else to distract her. She fell back into her daily routine, her mind uneasy, having a hard time faking her usual cheerfulness. Every time she saw Zuko, she studiously avoided talking to him, as she wasn't ready to respond to what he had said in his letter. He probably noticed she was avoiding him, but he didn't make an effort to force her to interact with him, so she didn't care what he thought. Not really.
Then, three days later, Sokka and Suki arrived, along with their priest, who promptly resupplied and, apologizing for leaving in a hurry, left again. It was raining that day, the gray skies suiting Katara's mood, even though she often enjoyed being in the rain. Sokka and Suki entered the main hall dripping wet, carrying bags that were likewise wet. Quickly bending the water off of them and their luggage, Katara rushed to them, her brother catching her in a bear hug. "Sokka!" she squealed. "You're finally here! I'm so happy to see you." She turned and hugged Suki as well, slightly more sedately. "And you too, Suki! You look wonderful. I'm so glad you could come, you'll be such a help."
She gestured for a servant to grab their bags and led them to their room, chattering as she went about how happy she was they had come, how were their kids, how was everyone on Kyoshi. "And here's your room," she said brightly. "I hope you like it."
Sokka, who had barely been able to get a word in edgewise with his unusually chatty sister, took his bag from the servant and dropped it on the floor. "Okay, so, unpacking later. We need all the important people around her and preferably some drinks. Alcoholic ones."
Suki, who had placed her things on the bed, agreed. "We've been talking about what to do on our trip up here, and we think that the sooner we can start planning, the better."
"Why drinks?" Katara asked hesitantly.
"I don't know about you, but planning for a war makes me want to drink," answered Sokka. "It helps bad news go down smoother."
Suki rolled her eyes. "What Sokka's trying to say is that having some wine can help keep people from panicking, not that he wants to get drunk. On Kyoshi we always like to have something at our meetings."
"I guess we can do that, although none of the Council members nor Aang really drink… I wouldn't mind some, though. Excuse me for a moment," she said, stepping outside to call one of the servants that had carried bags. She quickly told them to send messages to the Council members and Aang to gather for a meeting. Fortunately, they were all still here waiting for Tashi to return. The servant turned, preparing to run to obey her orders, when she stopped him, realizing she'd forgotten someone. "Wait… you had better get a message to Prince Zuko as well. He should probably be there."
"Yes ma'am," replied the servant, bowing and dashing off. Katara gestured to the other bag carrier, who had been waiting patiently, and asked her to see if there was any kind of wine in the kitchens that could be served, and to take it to the meeting hall as soon as she could. The second servant also bowed and departed, leaving Katara to go catch up with her brother and sister-in-law.
"Okay, all taken care of. We should be able to start the meeting soon; the servant will come get us," she stated, smiling triumphantly. Taking a seat across from the couple, she began to speak, but was interrupted by Sokka.
"Katara, how are you really? How are you handling all this? You're not acting like I thought you would."
She shrugged nonchalantly. "I've done everything I can for now. I told Aang and the Council that I thought we should evacuate the city to the mountain towns, and they're thinking about it, although Aang wants to send them to the Air Temples. Until we hear from the Earth King, I really can't do anything else." Which was true, she realized. She really wasn't all the distressed about their impending invasion.
"Still, you seem preoccupied. Either you're lying or something else is bothering you. What's wrong?" Sokka prodded.
She gulped and decided to tell them. If she could trust anyone to give her advice, it would be them. "I think…" she began hesitantly. "I think my marriage might be ending."
Sokka's reaction was an immediate "What?!", while Suki came over to sit beside her and put an arm around her. Katara leaned into her sister-in-law, who smelled vaguely of wet bison. The comfort felt too nice to pull away, however. Calming down, Sokka tried again. "What happened?"
"I realized lately that things aren't working anymore," she said, tears beginning to run down her face. "I'm not happy; I feel like I've given up so much and changed so much and it's still not good enough. I always feel like a disappointment to him and I can't do it anymore. I keep trying to tell myself I can make it work, but it's not true. I can't anymore. I just don't want to lose all of this," she wept, gesturing at the room around them. "I don't think I can lie anymore, though."
Sokka sat on her other side, meeting his wife's gaze over Katara's head and wrapping his crying sister in his strong arms. "Look, Katara, if that's what you want then we're here for you. I will personally beat Aang senseless for making you feel this way if you want to. And hey, you can always come live with us! Our kids would love to see their Auntie Katara everyday. If you're this unhappy, then leaving him is the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurts right now."
She sniffed loudly, trying to avoid getting her tears and snot all over Suki's tunic, and smiled weakly. "You don't have to beat him up. He's not mean or anything, I think something's wrong with me, not him."
"Oh, sweetie," Suki sighed. "Nothing's wrong with you. Sometimes two people just aren't meant to be together, and that's okay. It's not your fault. It happened with my oldest sister and her husband, too. They just grew apart."
Katara tried unsuccessfully to wipe her face with her hands and nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's what happened."
"We'll help you out," stated Sokka. "It sounds like you need some time away from him to get your feelings sorted out. We can make sure you get that, right Suki?"
Suki nodded, a determined look on her face. "What helped my sister was a good long vacation in Ba Sing Se. We might not be able to send you there right now, with the problems with the Fire Nation, but we'll figure something out."
"Thanks," answered Katara, fighting against more tears that threatened to break free, although these were tears of gratitude, brought on by the warmth of her love for them. "Thank you for letting me cry on you. I love you guys." Now, even more than before, she was grateful she had written them.
After a few minutes spent in silence, a knock at the door admitted the returning servant informing them that everyone was on their way to the meeting hall. Katara quickly washed her face with cool water she bent out of a basin, hoping it would erase the traces of tears. Suki squeezed her hand gently and they were off, following the servant to the meeting hall, where they normally held meetings with too many people to comfortably fit in Aang's sitting room. The hall contained a long rectangular table and maps hung inbetween large windows. Aang was already seated at the head of the table, and the three of them encountered Sister Iio as they entered. Katara took her customary seat next to Aang, avoiding his eyes, and motioned for Suki and Sokka to sit next to her.
Gradually, the others filtered in, along with a butler, who carried a cart laden with glasses and ice wine. He distributed the glasses and filled them, allowing Katara to take a grateful sip, encouraged by the warmth seeping down to her stomach. Zuko entered, his hair mussed and face slightly sweaty as though he'd been bending again, followed by Gyatso, who was the last person needed.
At a nod from Aang, Sokka stood. "I don't know if you all remember me," he began, "but I'm Katara's older brother, Sokka, and this is my wife Suki, Captain of the Kyoshi Warriors. Katara wrote us to tell us what you had recently learned about the Fire Nation, and I want to start by confirming that it does indeed appear they're planning for a large-scale invasion. They've pulled the majority of their ships and troops from Whale Tail Island for the first time in decades, which has fortunately for us allowed all the Kyoshi Warriors to return home."
Katara had completely forgotten about the Whale Tale Island Conflict, a pointless, never-ending battle over one island between the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation that had been going on for over fifty years. It was really just a power struggle, as there wasn't much reason to fight over that particular island, but it had been going on for so long that most people accepted it. However, it was the reason for Kyoshi Island's extensively trained warriors, as Kyoshi was unfortunately usually caught in the middle of the conflict. She was glad the Fire Nation had pulled back from that, allowing Sokka and Suki to actually leave Kyoshi.
"But that means the Fire Lord is definitely gathering troops," Sokka continued, "unfortunately for all of you."
"Did you really doubt my information?" interrupted Zuko. "It came at great personal risk."
Confused, Sokka looked at Katara. She motioned for him to bend down and whispered, "That's the Fire Lord's son, Prince Zuko. He's the one who told us about the invasion. Sorry I didn't fill you in earlier."
Sokka straightened. "I'm sorry, Prince Zuko. I didn't know where the information had come from. Of course we wouldn't doubt you."
Zuko crossed his arms, but looked mollified. "Good."
"So, anyway, the point is, you all need to start planning right now. Have you told your civilians yet?"
Heads shook no around the table. "We kind of decided to wait until Tashi came back," answered Aang. "He's negotiating with the Earth King for defenses."
"What kind of defenses?" asked Sokka. "Troops? Tanks? Earthbenders?"
The airbenders looked back and forth between each other. "We weren't really sure," Aang replied, scratching his neck. "We don't want there to be any unnecessary violence so we don't really want troops…"
Sokka sighed loudly. "Okay, we'll talk about that later, but for now let's send a message to this Tashi telling him to ask for a contingent of earthbenders, enough to build a wall around the city quickly. That will be a good start and doesn't involve any… unnecessary violence."
The airbenders nodded, and Gyatso noted it on a piece of paper. "The most time sensitive thing is the evacuation," Sokka added. "Katara told me about the plans to evacuate the city and I think they're great. We need to send people into the mountains so they're hidden, and we need to start doing it as soon as possible. However, I doubt the towns are going to be happy about people randomly showing up, so we need to figure out a way to get them to agree to take the city dwellers in."
Suki tapped him. "What if we send someone to ask them? There's what, maybe twenty thousand people here? If we ask towns to take in five hundred to a thousand people apiece, we would only need thirty or so towns to agree to take people in. Someone traveling on an ostrich horse or sky bison could do that pretty quickly."
Aang piped in, "That could actually work. On a sky bison, you don't have to worry about the mountain roads, so you can travel a lot faster than someone on foot. But who would we send?"
Suki looked slyly at Katara. "What about Katara? She's important enough that the town leaders will be sure to listen to her, but I think we could all spare her for a few weeks."
Katara's eyes widened. This wasn't what she had in mind when they said she needed to get away. Then again, it could be nice to have an adventure. That could be exactly what her life was lacking. She did miss traveling, after all. "That's a great idea. I'll do it," she said quickly, before anyone else could decry the suggestion.
"We can't send her by herself!" Aang argued. "That's not safe. There are all kinds of wild animals that live in the mountains and sometimes there are bandits that wander in from the south."
Sokka looked around the table. "Okay, so we send someone else with her. Prince Zuko, how about you? Since you're the one with the firsthand information, it'll make Katara even more believable with you there to support her. We can send a couple of earthbenders, too, for protection if that would make you happier, Aang."
Katara jumped out of her seat, her face suffusing with heat. "What? No, you can't send me with him."
Aang looked up at her confusedly. "Katara, he's right, though. Even if you don't like him, it would make your job easier."
"I didn't know I was so offensive," Zuko said dryly, sounding slightly hurt.
"I'm not… we don't… fine," muttered Katara, sliding down in her seat and hoping the earth would open up and swallow her.
Sokka looked at her strangely. "Then as soon as we find some earthbenders, you two can leave. Maybe we can even send you off tomorrow. Are there any good maps of the mountains and towns?" he asked.
The meeting continued, with the Council and Aang helping to make a list of towns for her to visit. Katara sat in silence, steadily avoiding looking at Zuko, her face still red in embarrassment. When she finally peeked at him, he was staring at her, a blush spread across his good cheek as well. She quickly looked away, ignoring him for the rest of the meeting, pretending she was not about to be practically alone with him for a few weeks.
A/N: Katara admits her marriage is over! Hurray! Now she just has to tell Aang. And Sokka and Suki are here! Double hurray! Brother to the rescue! Also, while Sokka is usually the Plan Guy (TM) I imagine Suki is pretty good at it, too. She'd definitely be a huge asset when planning a war. Oh, and not to fear, we'll get back to lemons soon.
Also, a guest reviewer noticed that I had taken Aang off the character list and thought that meant Aang might be dying/disappearing from the story soon. Although he will probably be more of a background character soon, I actually took him off because I got an angry review (since deleted by me) from a Kataanger than having him as a character was misleading. While I'm not a fan of getting hate just because this is a Zutara story, I did decide to make the concession of taking him off so there wouldn't be any confusion. So, don't worry, reviewer! It doesn't really mean anything.
