for all my readers. if i have any (:
chapter 8
"But he didn't finish the sentence. Instead, he just picked up his shoes and walked out of the room, leaving Alicia behind, drowning in a pile of papers and misery."
Cam wanted to scream when he walked out of the huge house. He wanted to tear out all his hair (he was actually pulling tufts of it out, due to the excessive tugging). He wanted to burn down everything in sight. He wanted to kick anything in sight. He wanted to do all these things because he was so freaking frustrated at himself for leaving her alone in her house. With drugs for God's sakes, at her own disposal.
He was the worst fucking friend in the world.
But he couldn't go back in now. He had made a promise to Claire that he was not going to see Alicia ever again, a promise he had immediately broken. Look where that had led to; he didn't want to risk what just happened to happen again.
So instead, he just took out his anger and frustration onto pavement cracks and stray rocks. He walked all the way home, in the dark, scuffing his shoes into an almost nothing mess of rubber.
one week
-x-
She threw them all out; every last piece of paper. What was the point of starting new, anyway? The past was alwaysalwaysalways going to catch up to her, no matter how far she tried to run away from them.
-x-
"Don't forget your lunch money, hon!" Cam's mother called out from the kitchen. Cam grunted indifferently.
He grabbed his jacket from the coat rack and shoved his black converse onto his mismatched sock-clad feet. Not bothering to tie them up, he walked out of the door and into the driveway, where Claire was waiting, looking impatient.
"Hurry up! We're going to be late for school!"
Cam opened the door and slumped into the seat. He closed the door and strapped himself with the seatbelt. He closed his eyes and felt his body being pulled back as Claire drove out of the driveway.
It wasn't until the first red light Claire turned to him, with worry in her eyes. "Cam, talk to me. Please."
"I'm fine. What do you want me to talk about?" Cam said, giving her a lame attempt of a smile. He turned away from her and looked out of the dewy window, tracing random patterns with his finger.
"You've been all mopey for the last week. Don't go all 'nothing is wrong' on me. I'm your girlfriend; I know when something is wrong."
Cam closed his eyes, letting his finger trail on the cool window. What did he want to tell her? That he kissed the girl he was told to never see again? And that he actually enjoyed it? That he might have led her back onto drugs? That he was so fucking helpless?
"I've just been really stressed with finals and football games and everything. I'm just really tired right now, ok? But other than that, I'm fine." Cam smiled, a little more wholeheartedly this time.
Claire knew that that wasn't it; he was hiding something from her. But she had been trying to get it out of him for the last few days and she was just tired of it. She had her own problems too.
"Fine. Whatever you say." The light turned green and she stepped on the gas, moving the car along. "Just remember that I'm here if you need to talk."
Cam didn't say anything to that.
two weeks
-x-
She called Josh; now there was a guy that knew how to have fun. With him, it was a party every fucking night. The drinks were on him, anyway.
Her father was right. She was completely and utterly worthless.
-x-
"Cam, can I please see you after class?" Mr Myner said, as everybody was packing up their books and papers into their schoolbags.
When everybody had left, Cam walked towards the front of the classroom, his books still not packed in his bag yet. As he reached Mr Myner's desk, he was handed a piece of paper. His history finals paper, to be exact.
"You were one of my top students this year, Cam. This paper did not reflect this in the slightest." He pointed to the large, fat D- at the right corner of the paper. He looked at Cam meaningfully from the top of his half-moon shaped glasses.
Who the fuck cares about fucking history papers when there were people out there killing themselves with drugs and alcohol.
"Sorry."
"All you can give me is a sorry, Cam?" Mr Myner stared at him. When Cam didn't waver, he sighed.
"Cam, I know something is up with you. You stroll into class 15, 20 minutes late, smelling of cigarette smoke. You sit at the back of the classroom and you don't participate in class anymore. You've not even glance, less talk, to that friend of yours, Derrick. What is wrong, Cam? Is it that girl of yours, Claire?"
Cam shut his eyes. He wanted everything to disappear the moment he opened them.
"There is nothing wrong with me. I'm just really tired from finals and football games." He recited, tired.
Mr Myner looked at him for a while longer but eventually gave up. He sighed and began tidying up papers on his desk.
"Ok. If that's what you say. I'll let you go now. Also, since you're one of the best students in this class, I'll give you a re-sit on that paper. Let's say, a week from now?"
"Thanks." Cam said, glad for a second chance but not really caring. He slung his backpack higher up on his shoulder and started to walk out of the classroom.
"Cam?"
Cam stopped and glanced over his shoulder.
"If you want to talk to anyone, I'm always here."
Cam just simply turned and walked away. Nobody got him here, not anymore.
three weeks
-x-
She did that stupid baggie. And more. And more. And more.
Then, everything went dark.
-x-
The bell rang for the end of school but Cam's day at school wasn't over yet; he still had that stupid History make up test to do.
He closed his locker door shut, with a bit more force necessary, and trudged down the hallway, with his dark hair hanging over his eyes. He automatically scanned the hallway for Claire or Derrick but he realised that he didn't really care anymore.
As Cam walked down the crowded hallway, he felt his back pocket vibrate. He pulled out his phone and looked at the screen. His heart soared when he saw the number.
"Alicia? Hello?"
"This is not Alicia, but may I ask whom I'm speaking to?"
Cam was puzzled at the unfamiliar voice and feeling slightly uncomfortable. What was this lady doing with Alicia's phone? He walked into an empty classroom, steering away from the din of the crowd.
"This is Cam Fisher. May I ask who you are?"
"My name is Anabelle Lee; I am a nurse here at Westchester Hospital. We tried calling her father, but he seemed to not be picking up his phone. Your number was the most dialled number on her phone as well as number 1 on her speed dial so we thought that we should call you."
"Hospital? What's happening? Why are you calling me?" Cam's blood went down to a chill.
"I'm afraid to tell you that Alicia has overdosed. She's on life support right now and is in a very critical condition."
Cam swore that his heart stopped beating. "What?"
"I'm sorry to tell you this, Cam."
"Oh my God."
Cam dropped the phone, where it bounced and clattered onto the linoleum. He slid onto the floor, his legs not supporting him anymore. He could still hear the nurses' voice over the phone, asking if he was there.
He felt like he wasn't there; he felt as if someone had ripped his heart from his chest and stabbed it a million times in the most painful way possible. He felt as if he couldn't breathe; he was drowning.
With a shaking hand, he picked up the phone and held it to his ear. "I-I'm sorry. I'm going to come down to the hospital right away."
Without even hearing her response, he ended the call and sprinted out of the classroom, knocking into a few desks along the way. He slammed the door open and ran down the hallway, almost knocking into Mr Myner.
"Cam! Where do you think you're going?" Mr Myner grabbed onto his upper arm.
"Please. I can't do this; I have a family emergency. I have to leave. I don't care if you give me a failing grade; this is much more important than any history mark." Cam yanked his arm out of Mr Myner's hands and ran out of the school, not even caring how many detentions he was going to have to serve.
He was lucky; the hospital was just a couple of blocks away from the school and he knew where it was because he passed it every time he went with Claire to go shopping at the Westchester mall for girly shit. He sprinted as fast as he could, knocking over people, shoppers, strollers, anything and everything in his way of Alicia.
Huffing and puffing, he finally reached the tall, white building, bearing the fate of Alicia. He climbed up the mountain of stairs and finally reached the entrance of the hospital reception. The automatic door parted peacefully for him.
"?" Cam nearly screamed at the frightened looking receptionist.
"Ok, slow down."
Cam gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Room number. For Alicia Rivera. Please."
"I'm sorry, but room numbers are confidential and will only be given out to family members.
"I'm her son, ok? Her fucking son!" Cam shouted, waving his arms around and nearly knocking the potted plant off the table.
Either the nurse believed him, which was very unlikely, or she was just scared but she shakily typed something on the computer. "She's in room 573 in Ward A."
Cam sprinted to the elevator, getting in just in time. He bumped the person next to him over and pushed the "Ward A" button continuously.
"The elevator isn't going to go up any faster, you know." The girl next to him commented. He gave her his best death glare and she shut up.
The elevator dinged open and Cam rushed out. He quickly walked down the near desolated hallway and counted down to the room.
"576, 575, 574…"
The door to 573 was closed and the blinds were down. He gingerly knocked on the wooden door.
"Come in." A grainy whisper wafted over the door. Cam opened it and entered the room.
Alicia was on the bed, hooked up to millions of wires and machines. She looked so weak and pale, her usually thick, raven hair now limp and mousy brown. There were dark bags under her eyes and it looked like she was breathing laboriously.
But to Cam, she still looked like the most beautiful girl in the world.
"Cam. What are you doing here? How did you even get in here?" Alicia coughed.
"I'm your son, remember?" Cam went over to the bed and took Alicia's hand. It was so delicate, so pale against his tanned, calloused ones.
"Alicia. I thought-"
"I couldn't do it. You-you left me. You were my anchor and you left me. What was I supposed to do when the only thing holding me down is gone?"
"But you're strong enough to do this. I know you're strong enough without me."
"Well, obviously not." Alicia replied with a raspy laugh. It turned into a strangled coughing fit.
"Are you-"
"I'm fine." Alicia snapped, gulping down some water. She closed her eyes. Cam watched her, still holding her hand, not wanting to say anything.
After a while, Alicia spoke up. "Maybe I'm supposed to be a fuck up. Everybody has a destiny, a calling in life and maybe this is mine."
"You're more than a fuck up, Alicia. Nobody is destined to be a fuck up. You're an amazing girl with so many talents that you could put to use, but you just need to see it."
Alicia's eyes flew open. "Cam. Stop believing in me. If you do, I'll just break your heart."
Cam shook his head, realising something. "You already have."
He leaned in and kissed her. They stayed like that, their bodies in a tangle, the thin blanket occasionally getting in the way of the beautiful mess. The good guy and the bad girl. The perfect contradiction.
Eventually, Alicia had to get some air. "Cam, I'm leaving. I-I'm going to go to rehab or some shit like that; hopefully this will make me better. I won't be out for quite a while."
"I'm come and visit you. Every weekend or something!" Cam said, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead.
"It's in California."
"Why so far?"
"I just need to get away from everything for a while."
Cam gently let go of her head, a sad look on his face. One glance and Alicia wanted to cry; she wanted to take back the words she just said and say that she wanted to be with him forever, to be in his arms. But she couldn't because she knew that she was a bad influenced on him, she needed to be as far away from him as possible. She couldn't force her fucked up life on him.
"Alicia…"
She let go of his hand and covered the blanket over her body. She turned away so she was facing the window instead of him. "I think you should go. Visiting hours is nearly over, anyway."
"Leesh…"
"Just go. Please." Her voice was cold and thick.
Cam didn't know what to do but he didn't want to leave just yet. So he just sat there, hoping that she would change her mind.
"Cam. How many times do I have to ask you to go." Alicia was still facing the window.
"Is that what you want?"
There was an impregnated pause. "Yes."
Cam abruptly stood up and left, nearly slamming the door behind him. He didn't know what else to do. His was in a whirlpool of emotions and he was drowning.
Alicia winced at the sound of the door. At this point she couldn't contain the tears anymore; she was crying like she'd never cried before.
The only good thing in her life had left and she was the one that had caused it to do so.
Ok, so this was SUPPOSED to be the last chapter, but I think that it kind of went astray so unless you want a sad, unfinished ending, it's not the last chapter xD So yeah. School has started and I've been having a horrific week so please, cheer me up by reviewing? (:
Oh, and also, please vote for this story (and my other nominated stories) on the 'Unofficially Official Clique Fanfic Awards' which you can conveniently find in the Clique forums (:
-picturebookgirl
