Chapter Nine.
It felt like I was flying. I opened my eyes and darkness no longer surrounded me, I was instead surrounded by light.
"Alex?"
The light faded, I was back in my old room, expect this time there was no faint orange glow from under the doorway, it was normal.
"Alex! What are you doing here?" the voice came from my uncles.
"Uncle!" I ran to him and hugged him, tears started rolling down my cheeks. When he saw this he wiped them away with his thumb.
"Alex..." He hugged me again, this time tighter.
"Alex you can't stay here, you must go back."
"Who do I have to go back to Uncle, I'm finally with my family now!" I said beaming.
"I don't think you realized you have another family now, and they need you." he gestured to the wall on the right of us. The wall no longer held a solid base color, but was swirling with colors, all very bright and vivid. The swirling colors soon took up the whole wall and a moment later I saw New York City. It was snowing softly now and when I looked closely I could see four figures hopping along rooftops. The wall was showing me the turtles, my brothers.
"You'll be leaving behind people who care greatly about you, who maybe even love you..."
The wall showed Raphael. He was standing on the edge of the rooftop I had been on just the night before. He looked down into the Alley and let his eyes adjust to the ever lingering darkness of morning. I saw his mouth moving but no sound could be generated through the wall. I walked over to the wall and watched more carefully. He was yelling to someone, probably his brothers. His facial expression looked like he had just gotten kicked in the stomach, his eyes were filled with grief.
That's when I saw what he was looking at. It was me. My body was crumpled up next to the dumpster, blood was everywhere. My arm was bent unnaturally and my shirt was torn down the front in the middle where Anzo had sliced open my stomach. My one white shirt was now pure red, soaked with my own blood, and my hands were also covered. I made no attempt to move, I was a lifeless heap.
Raphael jumped off the roof and hurried over to me, I watched as he picked me up gently and climbed back up the fire escape, I never realized how strong he was.
His brothers were already there on the rooftop, looking at me with the same sad eyes Raph had, Donnie bent down beside me and put his finger to my wrist. He kept his head low, when he rose again he just shook his head.
Raphael walked over to the billboard and perched himself on top of it, with his head in his hands. Leo and Donnie went down to where Raph had found me and were looking around for clues as to what happened, When I saw Leo's face he had a slight tear ready to escape his eye, but he quickly wiped it away.
The only turtle who stayed by my side and would not move was Mikey. He sat next to me with my head in his lap and held my hand. I must've been ice cold.
"Why are you showing me this?" I said to my Uncle, while running my hand across the wall.
"To show you what you'll be leaving behind. To give you a chance to choose."
"But it already happened how do I have a choice." I watched through the wall as Leo scooped me into his arms and carried be across the rooftops back to the lair. The only brother that did not follow was Raphael. He stayed on the billboards with his head still in his hands. He looked up tot the sky and cursed at it then letting out a single tear he jumped off the billboard and slowed walked back to the lair.
"Oh Alex, everyday we're given second chances. Please don't take this one for granted."
"Will I see you again.." I said hugging him one last time, I had made my decision.
"Yes." he said patting my head. "But hopefully not so soon. I love you Alex."
" I love you too, Uncle."
The flying sensation stopped, this time I felt like I was falling. I struggled to open my eyes and move, but I couldn't. Then the feeling of being carried took over. I heard muffled coughs and scuffing feet. I must be back.
Leo was indeed carrying me, I could tell by the way he breathed, the sound became familiar from meditating with him so often. I tried to say something but it felt like my voice box had been cut out.
I felt the couch beneath me as Leo set me down. I could hear him leaving to go tell master Splinter what had happened. I heard Mikey and Don talking in the background, they must've been walking away from me because for a while it was silent...
Then I heard footsteps. It must've been Raphael. He walked over to me and kneeled down beside the couch.
"Alex..." He said as he pushed a piece of hair out of my face. His fingers were warm, my face was cold to the touch. He bent his head down into the crook of my shoulder.
"Please come back..." He whispered into my ear his voice cracking.
I willed myself to move, I could feel the sensation of living coming back to me, very slowly, I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, adjusting to the room. I moved my fingers around, they were stiff. Along with the sensation of being alive again came the feeling of being killed. My stomach was on fire and my arm felt like it was ready to fall off. I groaned in pain. Raph quickly raised his head. His green eyes met mine, he looked confused but quickly wrapped his arms around me.
"Alex. You're alive!" he said, it sounded like he was almost talking to himself, he must be trying to convince himself I was indeed alive.
I managed to squeak out a quiet "Raph."
'Please don't ever leave like that again. I thought you were...dead..."
"Don't worry you can't get rid of me that easy." I said, coughing in-between words trying to smile.
He just cupped my face in his hands. "Alex, I..." He looked like he was struggling to say something but before he could get his words out Don and Mikey walked back in, their heads were hung low.
"Donnie, Mikey.." I said. I wanted to yell but the only voice level that escaped me was the quietest. Their heads shot up and they dashed over to me.
"Alex!" They said in unison.
"I thought you were..."
I put my finger up to Mikey's lips making the shush motion.
"I'm here now and that's all that matters." I said to him.
The rest of the day Don stitched up my stomach. Mikey tried to get me to eat but I wasn't hungry surprisingly. I was just mainly tired. I was pretty weak from all the blood loss. I was still covered in blood so Don ran some water for me in the bath. When the boys left the bathroom I locked the door and got undressed. I looked at my body in the mirror. I looked like I had got hit by a train going full speed. This is what a dead persons body looked like, all bruised and blistered. then again I was dead just a couple hours ago. My focus shifted down to the giant scar down my torso. It was still oozing a little blood, but other than that it was scabbing over. The sight of me made me want to gag.
I slipped into the tub, the hot water scalded my body but it felt good. I let it consume me.
I sat in the water for an hour, when I got back out I changed into the fresh clothes I had brought into the bathroom with me and I threw the blood soaked shirt in the garbage.
Raph helped me back to my bed. In fact he carried me, being gentle not to rip open my stitches. I also had to have my arm taped from where I hit the wall, it was fractured but Donnie didn't have a cast to put me in. There was nothing Don could do about my minor scrapes or bruises though, but they would go away in due time. I would be healed, I just had to be patient.
While Raph was carrying me to my bed bridal style I looked over his shoulder, feeling the presence of someone behind us. It was Leo. He was standing in the lair, watching Raph carry me. I smiled at him. He just smiled and nodded back at me, Don must've told him I was alive.
When we got to the bedroom, Raph gently lowered me onto the bed. He sat down on the edge just looking at me.
"Alex, I thought I lost you today."
"I know Raph. I'm sorry I should've listened to Leo..."
"It's okay, all that matters is that you're back, but please don't leave me like that again. You already tried to once and it killed me seeing you like that." He was referring to my attempted suicide. "And today when I found you..." He looked away trying to avoid contact, but I saw his watery eyes.
He composed himself, but still wouldn't look at me. "Alex it's just that, I don't want to lose you." He said with sad eyes
.
I didn't know what to say to him.
He started to ramble again and I forced myself to sit up. It hurt but I did it. I placed one of my hands on his face, and kissed his cheek.
"Raphael" I said softly looking into his bright green eyes. His face was turning red. "You wont lose me, I found out today that there are certain people you can't leave behind. I promise, you're one of them." I gave him a warm smile.
He took my hand in his and held it there for a minute, then looked down hiding his blush.
He got up slowly from my bed and walked to the door, before we went out he turned to me.
He said nothing, he just smiled at me. It was the first genuine smile I had ever gotten from Raph. He was generally distant, never showing his feelings.
"I'll be right back." he said and he quietly shut the door.
The weakness took back over and I closed my eyes.
My uncles words echoed in my head.. "You'll be leaving behind people who care greatly about you, who maybe even love you..."
I smiled at his words. Maybe I did make the right choice, taking my second chance.
(A/N: Another chapter finished! Please read and review(: also let me know what you think. It's really hard for me to write the romance part of this novel, I'm always drawing blanks...so tell me what you want to see and throw some ideas out there, I'm always listening!)
