Authors Note: Not much to say, here's Chapter 9, as promised. Enjoy:)
Disclaimer: Same as all of the other disclaimers. Don't own BTR.
James followed me down the stairs, neither of us speaking. When we reached the kitchen, I saw a note on the counter in my Mom's stationary.
"Bella and Blair, went out to Panera with Stacy and Linda. Will be back soon. Love, Mom." I read to James, who nodded. I was really glad that Mom had left, because now James could walk around the house freely without any interrogations.
"Ice packs, ice packs, where are the ice packs?" I muttered to myself as I searched through the freezer. I found a blue one and held it out to James, who accepted it and put it on his eye.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, and he nodded. There were 7 seconds of silence before I spoke again, I counted in my head.
"Do you want to speak?" James just stared at me.
"Fine, James. Whatever." I pulled out a stool and sat at the kitchen's island, tapping my fingernails on the beige granite counter.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, not looking at me. I stared at him incredulously.
"Sorry? For what?"
"Letting that jerk hurt you." James responded. I stood up from the counter and walked over to him, taking the ice pack off his face and placing it on the counter. I took his hands and put them in mine.
"You didn't do anything. Like I said, I did it to myself. I was stupid, to think that he actually liked me." I told him, and began to cry silently. James let go of my hands and pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me as he did so.
"What did I tell you? None of this is your fault, don't ever say that again." He said.
"Thank you, James." I looked up at his eyes, and he stared into mine.
"For what?"
"For saving me." He searched for something in my eyes, and after a second, his eyes landed on my lips. I felt butterflies in my stomach, as cliche as it sounds. My heart began to pound in my chest, and my legs seemed to turn to jello.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, Blair Anne Boleyn?" James whispered to me, his voice barely sounding in my ears. I gulped audibly, and James laughed under his breath. It didn't even register to me at that very moment that I hadn't ever told him my middle name. Obviously, he had done his research. It also didn't really register to me that we were supposed to be in a state of shock right now. Everything sort of just melted away when he complimented me.
"I guess I should tell you more often." I smiled softly as his soft and familiar hands cupped my chin and tilted it up so that I could see him better.
"Tell me what you need to say." He said, knowing that I wanted to tell him something.
"I don't know what to say." I admitted, thinking that he would become upset, or back away, but instead, James gave a close-lipped smile.
"You don't need to say anything." James breathed into my ear, and slowly, he brought my face closer to his until there were mere centimeters between us. I could feel his breath on my skin. I cringed a little, I hadn't been this close to a guy since the incident.
"Your breath smells minty." He said as his thumbs massaged my jaw, making me feel a little nervous.
"Thanks, yours does too, I guess." I admitted, and tilted my head down. James pulled my chin back up, but accidentally allowed our noses to brush while doing so. I moved back a little bit at this.
"You have really soft skin." I told him, and he smiled.
"You do too." I enjoyed this little game we were playing, especially since we were doing so 30 millimeters from each other. At this point, I'd completely forgotten about Jake, Cassidy, and all the other shit that was happening. It was almost as if we were in our own little world, oblivious to the drama surrounding our lives. I liked this. A lot.
"Your lips are pretty." James told me. I gulped, since I still hadn't quite adjusted to the limited amount of space in between us right now.
"So are yours…" I replied, and he closed another centimeter of space, so that our lips brushed against each other. They touched barely for a moment. I could feel his smile against mine; we were both clearly interested in who would kiss who first.
"I know you want to." James observed, reading my mind.
"Don't assume what you don't know." I shot back, smiling.
"Just do it, Blair. You don't have to be scared anymore." James looked straight into my eyes, knowing that the moment I pulled in and initiated the kiss would be the moment that he got true confirmation that I liked him. I stared back into his hazely-gold eyes, trying to listen to my head and heart. Both gave me the same advice: Do it.
I slowly and softly pressed my lips against his. Kissing James was the best decision I had ever made. I could feel him smiling against the kiss, overjoyed that I liked him back. His lips were soft and supple, and tasted like honey and mint, a beautiful combination, nothing like Jake's. His hands removed themselves from my face and placed themselves on the small of my back, pulling me closer and closer every second. Any feeling of nervousness immediately went away and I instead felt comfortable. Neither of us wanted to intensify the kiss first, but I bit his lip slightly to let him know that it was his turn.
He listened, pulling me in so that our stomachs were touching and there was no space between our bodies. I moved my hands up to his hair and ran my hands through it, as he pressed his lips firmly against mine, successfully making the kiss harder and stronger. This went on for a minute or two more.
Suddenly, I opened my eyes and saw his open at the same time, and we pulled our lips apart, laughing at each other.
"You did first!" I teased, and he put a mock-hurt expression on his face.
"It was the same time!" He pointed out, and I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah…" I agreed, and was then brought back into la-la land again by the gleam in his eyes, even though one was surrounded by bruising.
"Dammit!" I yelled, forgetting that James's eye was getting worse by the second. I pulled away completely, snatching up the ice pack and shoving it onto his eye.
"Whoa, Blair, calm down." James joked, as he propped himself up on top of the island. I gave him a 'really?' kind of look.
"Was it that necessary to sit on the actual island? There are stools right there, you know." I pointed to the empty stools.
"Alright, alright, I'll sit on the stools if you care so much." He said sarcastically, sitting on a stool this time.
"Yes, I actually do care, we eat on there, if you didn't realize." He laughed quietly, but paused for a few moments after, as if he was thinking about something.
"What?"
"What just happened?" He asked out of nowhere. I suddenly felt like I was in an interrogation room, under a white-hot spotlight extending from a desk lamp, with a bunch of unfriendly, intimidating cops surrounding me. They all shouted at me to answer the goddamn question, pressing me for information. But how could I answer when I didn't even really know myself?
"Well, basically, we pressed our lips together, in what is known as a kiss, usually occurring between two people who care about each other in a romantic way." I told him, answering the literal question but evading the actual one.
"Seriously…" James laughed, "What did that mean?" I bit a small portion of my lip, confused as to what I should say. I mean, it was true that I thought James was extremely attractive. That was undeniable. I knew that he was a good guy underneath all of the cocky exterior, due to the recent developments in our friendship, and the fact that he'd saved me from Jake. But how long would it all last? I mean, yeah, he saved me and all, and don't get me wrong, I'm not being ungrateful, but what would happen when the shock from the entire experience started to fade away? It already had a bit; the day after, I was insanely skittish and didn't want anybody touching me whatsoever, and now I had regained the security to kiss James. Maybe it was one of those situations where I felt attracted to James due to his saving me, as opposed to his actual personality. Perhaps I was seeing him only as the hero, so that everything he did was automatically okay because of that one time. How long would the "James is my hero" effect actually last?
"It…" I dug through my brain for something to say, "it was just a friendly kiss." I sighed, knowing that I'd lied through my teeth. James raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"A…friendly kiss." He repeated.
"Yeah." He still looked confused as ever, so I tried to explain it further, even though I knew that I was making everything that I was about to say up.
"Um…you know, like a heat of the moment kind of thing, just to say thanks, I guess." I trailed off, not even believing myself the bullshit that I was spewing out at him.
"So is that what we are? Just friends?" James questioned, allowing me to tell him what I wanted to be. I wanted to be more than friends. I knew I wanted it. So why couldn't I do it? James had done absolutely nothing wrong. He had helped me, and dealt with me, when I was at my worst. Why couldn't I swallow my pride and tell him that I wanted him? What was stopping me?
The hero effect. Right now, I knew that I wanted James, but would I still want that in a month from now, hell, even in two days from now? Come on, Blair, just tell him how you really feel, who cares about all that stupid "hero effect" shit? Just do it. But, I couldn't. It was too late to turn back now.
"I don't know." I said finally, feeling horrible inside. He took off his ice pack and laid it on the island, getting up from the stool simultaneously, shaking his head.
"Whatever, Blair, when you figure out, let me know." James told me angrily before walking back into the lobby.
"Where are you going?" I speed-walked after him, tears forming slightly in my eyes. Don't let him leave! Don't let him leave!
"Home." He responded coldly, opening the door and turning around to face me, the hurt and betrayal clear in his beautiful orbs. He lingered for a second, as if to give me a second to change my mind.
"Bye, Blair." He said goodbye to me once again, similarly to how he had after we had talked during lunch. I watched the door shut and followed James's retreating figure, suddenly feeling more alone than ever.
"Please don't go." I whispered, but of course, he was already gone.
Alright, so another dramatic chapter, in my opinion. James and Blair finally kissed, but Blair pushed James away in the end. Do you think Blair overthought their relationship and mistook her true feelings for temporary ones? Or do you believe that she is just acting like this because she still sees James as her hero? Also, do you think James will disregard his anger and continue to be friends with Blair, or is this the end of their friendship? Let me know your answers to these questions, as well as your comments on the story overall, in the reviews!
xoxo, Jess
