CHAPTER 8: ONE SWEET WEEK — DON'S CABIN JACK POV

Jack awoke before Ennis, which was unusual. Normally, by the time Jack woke up, Ennis would have been awake for some time already, his internal clock, even after a very interesting night, always kicking in before Jack's, because Ennis, working on ranches, was used to getting up more than 2 hours earlier than Jack did on a daily basis.

Generally, breakfast would be ready and the smell of coffee would lure Jack out of his sleep. Sometimes, Jack would be gently pulled out of his slumber by a very horny Cowboy, and he surely never complained about it. And some few other times, Jack would open his eyes to see Ennis lying next to him, watching him silently, for God only knew how long. He was even sure, a very few times, that he'd felt Ennis touching his face tenderly, though it had always stopped right at the moment Jack would begin to stir awake. And Jack would always let Ennis know how much he appreciated waking up like that, lightly touched or just watched-over, didn't matter. It made him feel loved, and knowing he couldn't say that, he surely did his best to show it.

But today, Ennis was still deep asleep. They'd both moved in their sleep and were now lying next to each other: Jack on his stomach, both his arms under the pillow; Ennis on his side, his right arm thrown across Jack's back, his right knee hooked across Jack's left leg, and his head close to Jack's left upper arm.

Jack couldn't move. He was glued to the spot, stunned by the so-rare sight of Ennis asleep, relaxed, comfortable; none of his usual barriers to be seen. Not that there were a lot of barriers when it was just the two of them, but still. Ennis never looked as peaceful as when asleep; Jack had known this since the first day they had met.

Such a peaceful look could be seen on some other very rare occasions, particularly after some real good sex, or after a real good laugh, or in tiny moments out of the blue while they were riding or sitting in silence next to each other; but it never stayed longer than a few seconds.

So now it was... mind-blowing. It didn't last long enough for Jack's liking though. Ennis stirred and opened his eyes, blinking a few times and smiling at Jack when he realized he was being watched over.

"Morning."

"Morning to you. Slept well?"

"Mmmm. Best sleep I got in months."

Jack internally cringed; he felt bad, again. But he could see that Ennis had just let it out without second thoughts, it wasn't meant as an attack, it was just the honest truth. The bad feeling left.

"Same here. Nice dreams?"

"Don't remember."

But Jack could see a sleepy but real grin come on Ennis's lips. God, Ennis half awake, the daily walls not yet built-up. It was too sweet for words. And it was addictive. Jack wished he could change his internal clock so he would wake up before Ennis every time they got together from now on.

"Go back to sleep." Jack pushed the covers down on his side of the bed and started to move in order to get out of bed.

Ennis's arm on his waist didn't let him go farther than sitting. "Where are you going?"

"The sun's been up for some time already."

I'm sure you're hungry. I know I am. We didn't eat yesterday.

"Thought I should be the one who prepares some breakfast for a change."

Ennis's arm tugged Jack back to him, eyes falling shut, looking as if he was going to fall back asleep very soon, his voice kinda sleepy too. "Don't need any coffee."

And Jack heard loud and clear the unsaid "Need you" behind those words, and his heart melted. He saw a smile linger on Ennis's face, and then heard words that left him speechless. "Thought you said you were mine, huh. So come back here, it's getting cold."

Jack was stunned. A teasing Ennis was rare enough to begin with, but Ennis teasing him for being his? Those words out of Ennis's mouth? And in such an honest, needy tone under the playful command? It was... surreal.

Jack felt crushed. And powerless. He laid himself down again. He felt Ennis crawl up and spoon against his back, nuzzling and breathing in the back of his neck, and he heard Ennis kinda purr his contentment at being close to him again.

It was just... too much. Jack felt words running from his heart up his throat, but knew he shouldn't say them. He surely didn't want to spook Ennis out of the mood he was in, huh. So he played his usual card and became funny-silly Jack instead. And with what Ennis had just said, he had an open door...

Jack let out a fake big sigh.

"All right, Cowboy. I knew you'd make me pay for saying I was yours the moment it left my mouth. I'll play along for some time and ignore the growling in my stomach. But just don't expect me to call you Master or Sir or anything, huh."

Ennis chuckled at that, pulled back out of his almost-come-back slumber. "Rodeo, you used to kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Yep. Sure did. Still do. But right now, there's someone else I'd rather kiss."

Ennis was now nuzzling his neck again, but just that bit harder, which gave a totally different meaning to the touch, and his hands started to move on Jack's body. "Oh yeah?"

Ennis playing dumb was Ennis in a playful mood, and Jack sure wasn't gonna let it go to waste. "You bet. Some very stubborn cowboy." He angled his head to give Ennis more room to play. "Quite tall, sandy hair, whiskey eyes I always get drunk from. A bit dumb right now," he felt Ennis smile against his skin at that, "But, well, great kisser, so I don't really mind."

Jack then turned his head towards Ennis and winked. "Let me know if you see him around, huh."

He saw Ennis grin as he leaned in for a kiss — which turned out to be a deep, long kiss, Jack hearing himself moan as Ennis pushed himself against his lower back while keeping him close with his right arm.

"Oh. Don't need your help anymore. Seems like he's here already."

Jack heard Ennis chuckle in his ear, in that damn too-rare, deep, low rumbling tone he was addicted to. He pressed himself back into Ennis's firm body, and couldn't help but press harder when he felt that some part of Ennis was now fully awake. Ennis's lips were by now nibbling his earlobe, and Ennis's right hand was slowly following a trail downwards, caressing his stomach, his hard-on, his hip, his ass, and finally came to play around, and then inside, his most intimate spot, making Jack moan again and start to quiver.

Ennis whispered feverishly in his ear, "Jack, did you..."

"On your nightstand."

Ennis's fingers disappeared for a short moment, but Ennis's mouth kept working at the back of his neck. And then Jack could feel Ennis placing himself at his entrance, and a soft "Yes, Ennis, come home" escaped his lips. Ennis kept a slow pace, keeping Jack's hip in place, thrusting in with one quick push, getting nearly out slowly and pushing back in again with another strong thrust, making Jack shiver as he hit him on the right spot again and again and again, and Jack started to chant, his right hand coming on his hip to cover Ennis's, clutching it to hang on. Jack realized he couldn't choose. He loved it when Ennis was strong and wild. Like yesterday. And he loved it when Ennis was strong and so controllingly slow. Like now.

"Make it last, Ennis, make it last".

And Ennis did, keeping the pace tantalizing slow, driving Jack mad, until Jack needed more and brought their joined hands around his cock. Ennis then followed Jack's rhythm as Jack moved their hands up and down, first lazily too, then quickly, then frantically, until Jack came, shouting Ennis's name, clenching hard around Ennis's cock as he spilled himself in their joined hands, and Ennis was lost too.

They kept silent for a while, Ennis still inside Jack, nuzzling his neck again while blindly wiping their hands and Jack's stomach with the sheet, Jack still too numb to do anything other than try to bring his breathing back to normal.

Then Jack's stomach growled, and they both laughed.

"Time to get up then, Bud."

It was a sunny, dry day, which was rare enough in November that they decided to take advantage of it and go for a ride. Ennis had prepared some food to bring along for lunch while Jack had been making some breakfast for them, as he had said he wanted to earlier.

They had a great time. Jack always enjoyed riding, but the rides with Ennis were always the best. It always felt as though they were back on Brokeback, both 19 and free, safe in their own bubble, where the world couldn't get to them. They didn't need to talk a lot, just riding side by side was enough in itself. Jack knew each time they rode, Ennis was completely in his element: he looked more free, sometimes even carefree, and he joked more. Jack always loved that. Knowing it was the Ennis the rest of the world didn't get to see. Knowing it was the Ennis who was just for him. Probably for his daughters too, but in another way, so it couldn't compare.

And seeing the way Ennis's hips moved. God, even after all those years he still hadn't gotten used to that sight. There always came a moment when Jack just couldn't resist anymore, got very silent and couldn't help but watch for a long time those damn perfect hips moving while riding. Jack just watched. He wasn't getting any pictures in his mind of what those hips could do, had done or would do. It was more primal, kind of ancient magic, getting Jack lost in a trance. He just followed the rhythm and the movements with his eyes, up, forward, down, up, forward, down, and he could swear he could feel it all inside and through him. It was... damn good, you bet.

Ennis, after a few trips, had gotten used to it, though he would each time still blush redder and redder, all the while patting his horse, looking at the sky, or the trees, or anything else as long as he wasn't looking at Jack; pretending not to know and not to notice, and just stayed silent too until Jack forced himself out of his reverie. If they had been talking, then Jack would start talking right back from where they had stopped, as though they hadn't been interrupted at all. If they had been silent, then Jack would start babbling for some time about little unimportant things. Jack always kept talking until Ennis's blush disappear. And until his own hard-on would lessen to a point where it wasn't nearly unbearable anymore. They always had great sex afterwards. Jack wondered if they would this time too.

Don't play dumb; with Ennis, it's always great.

Jack couldn't believe how easily being together again just felt... right. He had been so sure it would be weird and awkward for some time, but it already felt like nothing awful had happened. As though the past had been laid to rest and they'd been granted a fresh new start. Not that the past would be forgotten — or forgiven —, but it seemed they could just live with it and move forward. That's how it felt for him, and he wondered if it felt like that for Ennis too. They had talked about it all just yesterday, and they had kept nothing hidden, trying to heal old and fresh wounds at once. It surely didn't felt as though Ennis was just putting on a show for him; Ennis's eyes and smile never lied, he knew too well how to read them. But Jack couldn't help but think it was too good, he feared a moment would come when Ennis would break. He just hoped he would be allowed to glue the pieces back together.

It was a very nice day, for November. They were riding side by side. Ennis always loved to ride, it made him feel at ease, at peace even. But riding next to Jack always made it that little bit better.

Ennis had brought horses along on their third fishing trip, knowing Jack's now usual rides to be mostly on tractors and other machinery. And he remembered perfectly the amazed and warm gaze Jack had given him when he had seen them. Since then, Ennis always brought horses along. Even in the fall, which was not always kind for the horses, because they often kept to the tent, sometimes nearly all day if it kept raining. He remembered one year they had even stayed two full days locked in the tent, getting out just long enough to wash themselves quickly in the very strong falling rain and check on the quite bored-looking horses, surviving on cookies and whiskey, not even caring about making a campfire to cook. He remembered that, unlike the horses, they surely hadn't been bored.

Well, they had both been still young then.

Del Mar, don't look for stupid excuses.

Ennis knew their age had nothing to do with it. God, one look from those eyes, one smile, one perky or teasing or silly comment from those lips, and he was ready to go. Sometimes, just watching Jack was enough to make him ready to go.

You still don't say it all.

All right, to be honest, just thinking about Jack was enough to make him ready to go. Enough to make him come, too. That's why Ennis didn't care for one-night stands. Why should he bother: he knew it could never be as satisfying as just taking care of himself while thinking about his Jack.

He still felt wrong for the way he'd tried to use Alma as a replacement for Jack for years, knowing she didn't like it. It had happened a lot, particularly before '67. After '67, it had quickly receded and had even stopped, because Jack was back in his life; and the more he had Jack, the more he felt it just didn't feel the same with Alma.

He hadn't even bothered to try it with Cassie. Alma's and Cassie's bodies were just too full of curves, unlike the muscular, angular, strong body he had come to crave, and just felt too tiny and too soft under him. He knew he couldn't let himself go with them as he could with Jack. He knew they would never be able to take it as hard as Jack could take it, as hard as he liked sometimes, as hard as Jack asked for sometimes.

He had never felt this kind of attraction for any other man either. Once, somewhere between '63 and '67, he had glimpsed in the street ahead of him a young, dark-haired man, pretty much the same stature and posture as Jack, wearing a black hat, a pair of jeans and a light blue denim shirt, and he had felt something, for about a second. Then he had realized it couldn't be Jack, and with a second look he had known it wasn't Jack, and the feeling had disappeared just as quickly as it had arrived. By the time Ennis had walked past the guy, he'd been reduced to what he really was again: just a guy, a nameless, unimportant guy with a nearly perfect, but perfectly unattractive body. Thus total opposites from Jack.

And since, if Ennis from time to time caught himself glancing at some unknown, dark-haired man, it was never with lust, but only because the familiar, general looks he couldn't help but miss always caught his eyes and had him thinking "Hey, he looks like Jack". Keywords being 'look like', and only look like. And Ennis didn't lust after guys, he lusted after Jack. So hands would be too big or too small, legs would be too long or too short, etc etc. And, of course, no one could ever outdo those goddamned blue eyes and powerful eyelashes, or that silly mouth, or... any other inch of Jack's too-beautiful-for-words body. Jack was the standard to which anyone was compared, and no one could ever look for him as perfect as Jack. His Jack.

So, they were riding. And as usual, it felt as though they were back on Brokeback, both 19 and free, safe in their own bubble, where the world couldn't get to them. Ennis couldn't believe how good things felt between them already, how much righter than they'd been for years, even. He'd been sure it'd be awkward and painful for some time; but instead, he found he could almost forget the hurt they'd given each other. As though the past had been laid to rest and they were granted a fresh new start and could move forward. Forward. Ennis was damn glad this word was back in his thoughts.

If he remembered well from the last time they had been here, they would soon find a proper place to make a fire and cook. He couldn't wait to hear Jack's laugh when he discovered what he had brought for lunch. He smiled to himself, and glanced at Jack next to him.

God, here it was again. Jack was having one of those 'little moments', huh. Ennis had first noticed on Brokeback the way Jack could sometimes get really silent while riding at his side, but he had been then surely too numb with the peaceful feeling which Jack riding next to him — and for once not trying to play on that goddamned harmonica — brought him, and he hadn't realized what had Jack sort of in a trance.

It had hit him the first time he had brought the horses along. Jack had got silent, so he had been talking for a while. About Junior's first ride, on a pony at the once-a-year kind of fair the town organized for kids, and the way she had told him afterwards that she wanted now to ride a real horse, and on her own, 'cause ponies were for babies and she wasn't a baby anymore. He had laughed; she wasn't even five years old. Jack hadn't been laughing back as hard as he always did, and Ennis had turned his head slightly towards him, trying to remember if Jack had once told him something bad about him, his dad and a pony, or Bobby and a pony.

That's when he had seen exactly what Jack was looking at. He was ready to bet it had made him blush redder than a tomato. He had halted, had said that he thought something had felt wrong with his horse and that he wanted to check the left front horseshoe, and that Jack shouldn't wait for him, 'cause it was surely nothing and he would be catching up soon enough.

He then had decided he should stop acting silly. It was Jack, huh. There was no reason to freak out. And if he looked deep down into himself, he knew he kinda liked that he could render Jack speechless that way. It made him feel special. And powerful.

So Ennis had learned to go along with it. Actually, quite quickly, it had become real entertaining. He couldn't help but blush though, and he knew Jack must be thinking it was because he felt embarrassed or something. Truth was, if Ennis felt embarrassed, it was with himself, 'cause in those little moments of silence with Jack's gaze lost on his hips, he couldn't help but think back on their last lovemaking or forward to their next.

Today, he couldn't help but remember last night, how reverently Jack had tried to communicate in Ennis's own way, and how soothing it had been. And how surprising — strange but strangely good — it had felt to have Jack's tongue playing down there. So yeah, he bet he was blushing, and blushing hard. But the best part, the sweetest part, had been this morning. Jack had told him to "come home". He wasn't sure Jack had realized what he had said then, but that had gone right through Ennis's sore heart, and had felt just so damn right. Ennis had decided right then that he wouldn't dwell on what had happened anymore. He had put all the hurt and anger and uncertainty in a closet, and had locked that door shut for good.

So now he hoped Jack would get out of his reverie and start talking again very soon, before his hard-on could get too noticeable. His Jack and his 'little moments'. He smiled to himself; they always had great sex afterwards. Ennis wondered if they would have great sex this time too.

Del Mar, you know perfectly well that with Jack, it´s always great.

Ennis recognized the spot. He had chosen the right path, and they were in a clearing, cut by a narrow stream. It was the perfect place to stop and eat. They made a little fire and drank some beer while the beans got warm. Yep, beans. And only beans. Jack had laughed when Ennis had taken the cans out of the bag. A real laugh, loud and silly and true from the heart, and Ennis's heart had clenched, 'cause he had realized then that Jack hadn't been laughing like that for years, and that he had missed it.

Then Jack had rolled his eyes, trying to look upset while he wasn't, saying he would skip lunch. Ennis had retorted with a smirk that he hoped Jack was gonna change his mind and eat, 'cause he didn't feel like listening to Jack's stomach growling all the way back, huh. Jack had then sat on the ground in front of Ennis, had taken his can, had let out a sigh as if all this was costing him a lot, and had let fall "All right, Sir. Whatever pleases you," in a quite serious voice, though it was easy to see his eyes were laughing at Ennis, in a kind of "Take that" way, like a kid sticking his tongue out. Ennis hadn't been joking anymore then, he had just coughed some while blushing and casting his eyes away.

After eating, they rode back to the cabin. Ennis was starting to wonder if Jack had decided to make him pay for the beans; every time he would talk to him, Jack would call him "Master" or "Sir". At first, Ennis had been unable not to start to feel some pressure in his pants, 'cause they both knew how Ennis liked to be the one in control.

So, who really has control then, Del Mar? He knows perfectly well how to bring you just where he wants you to, doesn't he?

Shut up. It doesn't matter anyway.

But at some point, it had just become... disturbing. And now Ennis was getting mad. He needed one "Cowboy" instead of those meaningless "Sir", "Master", "Sir", "Master". One "Cowboy" from those lips was worth thousands of "Master" and thousands of "Sir", you bet. Ennis had even used and abused of his normally quite rare "Rodeo", hoping to stop the litany and finally get one "Cowboy" in return. Jack knew it, Ennis sensed it in Jack's winking eyes and half-dreamy smile at each "Rodeo" that fell from his lips, but Jack didn't indulge him. He surely seemed to be enjoying this all a lot.

To Ennis, it didn't feel funny anymore. And it just didn't feel right. About two hours later, they arrived — thankfully — back at the cabin. They dismounted in silence and Ennis hoped the game was over. He was wrong.

Jack came close; not close enough to touch Ennis, but close enough for Ennis to see the bulge in his pants. He looked at Ennis with already hazy eyes, grinning, and whispered seductively, "Anything you need, now, Master?"

Ennis felt like taking him right there and now, but controlled himself. Jack had been trying to get him mad in payment for the beans joke. But it seemed that at some point the joke had been turned back on him. Ennis grinned back at Jack.

Sorry Rodeo, my time to play...

"Well, now that you mention it..." He got just a bit closer, and saw Jack's grin get wider. Then he went in for the kill. "I won't say no to a nice warm cup of coffee."

He saw Jack's grin fall. He heard Jack's sigh. He tried not to smile.

Yes, Rodeo, not so funny anymore now, huh?

He had hoped it would be enough, but it wasn't. Jack just answered "All right, Sir" and went inside. Ennis nearly kicked the ground in exasperation. He took care of the horses, then got inside, started the fire in the chimney and sat at the table.

Jack was the one looking mad now. It was... kinda cute. The coffee was ready, and Jack handed Ennis a cup.

"Thank you Rodeo." Ennis grinned again, "Could you take some cookies too? I'm sure I brought some... "

Jack went back to look in the cupboard. He never made it that far though. He turned, let out a sigh, and held his hands in the air. "Ok, Cowboy, you win. I give up."

Thanks. "Cowboy". Finally.

Ennis had him pinned in his arms against the counter in no time, kissing him hard and deep, and Jack just moaned, clinging to him, pressing himself against Ennis's hip and thigh. When only kissing and necking became too much to bear, Ennis took Jack's hand and led him to the bathroom. He quickly undressed them both, turned the water on, took the soap, and placed them both under the stream. He pushed Jack against the wall and kissed him again, hard, while jerking them off with a soapy hand. They didn't last long. He then washed them both, a bit playfully, but ended it suddenly with a quick, cold, rinse; making Jack squeal in surprise and leaving them both shivering. And then they went to bed to warm up.

Jack was chuckling on their way to the bed. "The unexpected cold shower, that was mean, Cowboy. Guess those words really don't work on you, huh..."

Then Jack looked at him and suddenly stopped joking.

Ennis could guess why good enough.

Shit. Caught.

"Ennis?"

There was an edge in Jack's voice, and his eyes had turned worried. Really worried. Ennis realized he had been wrong after all, Jack hadn't caught him at all. On the contrary, he looked like he was thinking that his jokes had hurt Ennis somehow, and Ennis could guess why: the game could have made him think of Jack having fun with someone else... But it hadn't; and though Ennis sure hadn't planned on explaining himself, he couldn't let Jack feel that bad just because he didn't want to talk.

"It's just that... those words... they don't feel right, you know..." Jack seemed to flinch; Ennis was apparently only succeeding in making it worse, huh. He sighed. "It's all right, Jack. I mean... this thing we have... it's not—" He sighed again, frustrated, then finally found the will to meet Jack's eyes. "It's not one owning the other. It works both ways."

Ennis saw when those words hit Jack's brain. He saw the shock, the surprise, the relief; and then a look of pure happiness could be read all over Jack's face that made the trouble of for once getting some words out of his mouth all worth it. And then uncertainty seemed to replace it, as though Jack couldn't really believe he'd heard what he'd heard. Ennis brought his fingers up, lightly grazing Jack's cheeks, and forced himself to repeat.

"Yes, Jack. Both ways."

I'm yours too. Always have been, since Brokeback, even if I didn't realize it then. And I should have told you that a long, long time ago. I should have told you that right away, when you came back to me in '67.

He could see all the emotions struggling there, in Jack's eyes. He wanted Jack to know he really meant it; and Jack had taught him how to make it real.

"I want to hear you say it, Jack. Tell me." He saw Jack's lips move, but no sound came out. He brushed Jack's cheeks again, reassuringly and encouragingly, "Tell me."

Jack tried again. "Mine."

A whisper, nothing more, but Ennis saw when the realization and the knowledge got into Jack's brain.

"You bet."

Then Ennis brought Jack's hands to his own cheeks as he leaned forward to make their lips meet, wanting Jack to hear the "Yours" he still couldn't actually say but which he knew Jack now heard anyway, because Jack started kissing him long and deep, holding him in place softly, then more firmly with his hands.

Ennis knew what he wanted now. He had decided before this trip that he should let Jack have him more often. He hoped it would give Jack an easier way to relive their lovemaking while they were apart, though that wasn't the only reason.

Jack never asked for it, always seeming to enjoy the other way, and Ennis didn't like to think about it — and what it said — too much; but that didn't mean they didn't both enjoy it, taking and giving each other everything. So they were both content with it only happening on their last night, as though Aguirre's curse could fall on them again if they did it before. But Ennis knew he didn't dislike it.

Quite an understatement, Del Mar.

Ok, he even liked it. A lot. Very, very much. It may not feel as good, physically, but it surely always felt as right, and maybe even stronger, emotionally, as the other way around. It was Jack. And this was something he shared with Jack, and only Jack. This was something he did for Jack, and only Jack.

He kissed Jack back, long and deep too, while laying them both down.

"Come on, Jack." He rolled Jack on top of him and met his eyes. "Come on."

I want to feel you inside and know I'm yours. I want you to feel yourself inside and know I'm yours.

Ennis saw Jack's pupils widen as he realized what he wanted, and then Jack hushed out his usual concerned "You sure?"

As only answer, Ennis brought their mouths together again. And then, he just surrendered to Jack. His Jack, tender, unhurried and gentle, as always when he took him.

Jack could barely believe it. Ennis, saying more than he ever had; more than Jack had ever believed he would hear. Jack knew it already, but hearing it out loud... it made it more real. And when Ennis made him say out loud the word he couldn't speak... it felt even more real than real, if such a thing was possible.

Jack felt high, higher than he ever had been. There was no drug powerful enough to surpass the burning, yet peaceful, rush in his blood at that moment, for sure. And then Jack realized he had been wrong, 'cause a few seconds later, it got even better.

Ennis wanted Jack to take him. There was no way to misinterpret that usual, vague, half-whispered "Come on" while bringing Jack's hands to his butt cheeks, huh... Jack was speechless. Ennis trusted him enough again to let all his walls down, already. Jack hadn't even dared to hope for this for several trips to come, at least.

And it wasn't even their traditional last night. This always happened on their last night, and only on their last night, as it had turned out to be on Brokeback. As if there could come no curse anymore from it, 'cause they knew it was their last night anyway.

Come on, silly, what are the odds of Aguirre coming here tomorrow morning, huh...

"You sure?"

Jack couldn't help it: it felt like a tiny miracle, each and every time. Jack always needed to be sure he wasn't reading his Cowboy wrong, always gave him a way out, whispering "You don't have to" and waiting for the usual "I know" in answer — which was the "I want" that Ennis would probably never utter — before he made any move, or asking softly "You sure?" and leaving the next move to Ennis.

Then Ennis's hands on the back of his neck brought their mouths back together fiercely, and Aguirre was forgotten, you bet...

God knew how loved it always made him feel when Ennis yielded to him, but this time Jack was stunned as Ennis, quite a bit more eager than his usual self, at some point actually kinda pushed him away, then handed him the lube and placed himself on his elbows and knees, urging him on without a word. And his heart melted and burned as Ennis ordered again "Tell me" as Jack was starting to enter him slowly.

Jack was sure Ennis wouldn't — couldn't — stay that open, carefree, kinda sweet talking and whatever else he'd been for the last two days for much longer, but that didn't matter. Ennis was his. Jack now knew. For sure. And he would not forget.

They laid intertwined for some time afterwards, both silent. Then Jack realized something and started to laugh; he tried to keep it in, but he just couldn't. Ennis watched him through puzzled eyes, and it only made him laugh harder.

"Bud?"

"If I'd known calling you 'Master' was the key to get in there, huh..."

Ennis chuckled briefly and ruffled one hand in Jack's hair before trying to look menacing. "Jack, don't you dare..."

"Yeah, I know. No mention of any of those words anymore, I swear."

"Good."

Ennis brought him closer. Jack let his head rest on his shoulder and listened to their synced breathing for some time... Until something else popped up in his playful mind.

"Ennis?"

"Mmmmm?"

"What about 'Boss'. Would that be ok?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you know, people are free to quit their job... so... it's still quite an equal relationship..."

Ennis wasn't following him. Jack swore he could see several question marks hanging in the air around Ennis's head.

"I mean... it could be our code, or something... I could be a naughty stable boy, and you could be the very strict stock boss..." (AN: SILLY THINGS ENSUE, DEDICATED TO MADLORI OF COURSE)

Some color came to Ennis's cheeks.

Finally. God, he does have a thick brain sometimes...

"Rodeo, I swear, where you get those ideas of yours, I'll never know."

Jack kept his voice real low, whispering in Ennis's ear and nibbling on his ear lobe, "Must be your fault, Cowboy. I do like it a lot when you turn all hard and desperate and possessive. Feels like you can't ever get enough of me."

He knew he'd won when a seductive "Come here" escaped Ennis's lips. Ennis brought his hand to his waist to pull him close, and crawled up on him. But Jack tried to escape Ennis's mouth first chance he got, smiling.

"Hey! Not fair. I haven't done anything bad yet."

Ennis was now on top of him. He put his arms at each side of Jack's face, supported himself on his elbows, leveled his eyes with Jack's; and grinned.

"You're a tease, you know that, right?"

He rubbed himself against Jack once, feeling them hardening together, and winked, "Now, just shut up. Who's the boss?"

Jack laughed; Ennis was playing along.

"Now now now, Jack Twist, laughing at your boss... Ain't that asking for a damn lesson?"

Jack couldn't help but laugh even harder.

"That's it. I can't let this go on, right? You're gonna learn to show some respect, Boy. I swear, you're gonna have to beg for forgiveness."

Jack was stunned, he suddenly didn't feel like laughing anymore. Huh? Ennis, who usually didn't talk that much, and even less in bed — in tent, wherever —, talking like that... with a really luscious voice... and that twinkle in his brown lustful eyes... Wow, sure, the strict stock boss had all his attention!

"Really?"

Jack was rewarded when Ennis's mouth possessively claimed his again.

"How are you gonna teach me all that? You wanna tie me up or something?"

He had meant it as another tease, but he wondered if he'd hit on something when he saw a darkness flash in Ennis's eyes, and then recede.

"No way. That would spoil it all." Ennis grinned, "Can't make it too easy for you, huh." He actually smirked, then hushed the rest out in a deep, low voice, "I'd rather have you playing stubborn, wanting not to touch me and not to beg. Until you can't hold it anymore. Until you really need me and beg, with your hands, with your feet, with your words. I'm not gonna let you roll me under and have it your way, not this time. You're gonna have to ask. I want you to surrender, Jack. I want you to make me feel powerful."

Jack was stunned, again.

And flushed.

Hell, Ennis's words were turning him on.

A lot.

Jack had always known Ennis liked to play 'Alpha' and got high on his little pleas; Jack had always known he was the one in control mostly when Ennis wanted him to be the one in control too. Ennis on that matter had all the keys, and Jack didn't care. Because he knew he was the one, and the only one, whom Ennis needed, and needed to be needed by, that fiercely. And because he knew he was the one, and the only one, to whom Ennis could and would open up and surrender, mentally and physically. And therein laid both Jack's power and the proof that he was loved.

But hearing Ennis spelling it all out like that... It was too hot for words.

"Jeez... And I thought I was the tease. Where have you been hiding all those years, huh? Ennis del Mar, you are a bad, bad man."

Ennis was smirking again as he replied, "Good or bad, doesn't matter. I'm the boss."

Then he kissed him hard again, and there was no talking anymore for a long long time.

Jack was burning, writhing, squirming, chanting under Ennis's feverish hands and mouth. He was thankful they were on an iron bed; it hadn't always felt comfortable yesterday, talking sitting against the bars of the headboard, but it was now really handy, giving him something perfect to grip and hang on to above his head, as far as possible from Ennis's body, while he tried to resist his urge to touch Ennis back. He knew, though, that he wouldn't be able to keep fighting himself for much longer now.

Ennis had first showered him with hungry caresses and licks and kisses and playful bites everywhere, except for the parts of Jack which yearned for his touch the most, and that had felt incredible. Jack though had tried to only gasp.

But at some point, he hadn't been able to stop himself and had been automatically brushing his right foot up Ennis's left leg as Ennis worshipped his left inner wrist. Ennis had "tskked" him playfully, whispering that he was just getting started and that Jack surely could take it longer than that. Jack had moaned but backed off.

Later on, he had tried to focus on an invisible spot on the ceiling when he had started to hear himself moan regularly, but that hadn't worked for long, 'cause Ennis, though still not touching them in any way, had then started to blow on all the sensitive spots on his way down and up his body. So Jack had started talking — "Ennis, God, Ennis" — and had actually felt Ennis's smile on his stomach.

But Ennis hadn't forgotten they were playing. "Boss, Jack."

And Jack had then adapted his song. He had been rewarded, though, as Ennis had finally stopped avoiding paying attention to the places which until then had stayed untouched.

And from then on, Jack had been gripping the bars of the headboard. He hadn't noticed when Ennis had picked up the lube, but he knew he had as he felt two fingers slip inside easily and play there for a while.

Jack knew he was lost when Ennis attacked his mouth again, playing in and out, in and out, mimicking the movements they both wanted to make soon with their hips. His right hand went behind Ennis's neck, urging him to continue the kiss, and his legs wrapped themselves around Ennis's waist of their own volition, wanting to have him close as he pushed and rolled their lower bellies together, wanting to have him trapped — trapped before Ennis could make him turn to play with his backside just as he had done with his front — knowing he wouldn't be able to take the waiting any longer.

Ennis plunged his tongue deeper then, leaving them both breathless when he stopped the kiss. Jack was now letting his hands roam free, on Ennis's arms, back, ass; needing to bring Ennis sort of closer still.

Ennis's rasped voice in his ear. "Tell me, Jack."

"Want you, Boss."

Ennis smiled, and Jack released some pressure from his legs, freeing Ennis from his grip.

"Cowboy."

"Need you, Cowboy."

Ennis worked his way down again swiftly.

"Ennis."

Then Ennis took him in his mouth as he started stretching him again with his fingers, Jack bucking and gasping and moaning breathlessly.

"Ennis... God... Ennis... Fuck... Come on... Ennis... Now..."

Ennis released him and locked their eyes together as his fingers kept making him squirm.

"Magic word, Jack."

Jack wondered how he could still follow the conversation while he was so far gone, but found the words that would finally let Ennis drop the game.

"Ennis... Please... Now."

Ennis smiled, his real smile, and whispered playfully, "Good stable boy."

Then he sat back between Jack's legs and lubed himself up.

"Yoo choose, Jack."

Jack flipped on all fours faster than he ever had, making Ennis kind of chuckle, "Thought you'd pick that one", except it all turned into a kind of deep rumble which only made Jack shiver. Ennis entered him, kept still for a few seconds which seemed to stretch for an eternity, and then they were both lost in each other.

Jack was keeping his balance, leveled on his left arm while holding onto the bars of the headbord with his right hand in order not to get crashed against it, as Ennis's hard, deep, quick thrusts made his eyes roll and cross behind his eyelids.

"Ennis..."

Ennis's right hand came just above his own, gripping the headboard hard too for support when he tried and succeeded in pounding even deeper, the slapping sounds each time their bodies met getting louder.

"Ennis... Ennis... Ennis..."

No friction on his cock was necessary this time. Jack came. Long. Blank.

He came back to the world to Ennis kissing his neck and back lazily now, rocking him gently. Then Jack couldn't hold himself up anymore and they collapsed next to each other, breathing hard still.

"Think I learned my lesson well?"

Ennis chuckled in his ear.

"I guess so. I wouldn't mind, though, refreshing your memory from time to time."

"I guess I won't mind either. And I guess we're gonna skip supper again. There's just no way I'll be able to leave the bed after this, huh." He grinned. "But do help yourself to some cold coffee, there's plenty if you want it."

Ennis laughed, "No thanks," and smirked right back, "But see, I knew it wouldn't be wrong to have all those beans for lunch, huh..."

ENNIS POV

Ennis woke up in the exact position he remembered falling asleep: holding Jack from behind. He could hear that it was raining outside; not really hard, but constantly. The kind of rain that would easily stick for hours, you bet.

Jack felt warm and cozy in his arms. Ennis's eyes were level with Jack's neck, right on that place he had come to crave because Jack's scent there was always strong: the place where Jack's hair ended and Jack's neck started. His eyes went down a bit, roaming over Jack's muscular shoulders and upper back. He wanted to feel those under his hands, but he didn't want to wake Jack up, so he just kept looking. He knew what he would see if his eyes could go lower, if they weren't so close. Jack's waist, still a bit more fleshy than when they were young but not as much as it had been a few years ago. Jack's angular hips, Jack's firm, athletic ass, thighs and calves. Strong all over. His Jack.

Jack stirred and Ennis tugged him closer, letting him know he was awake too. Jack turned in his arms, and then Ennis got lost a moment in the deep blue of his eyes. He forced himself not to quickly withdraw, as he usually did. He just kept watching. It felt good, so he continued. Ennis then let his fingers slowly run all over Jack's face, taking his time, a little pleasure that he normally allowed himself only while Jack was asleep, 'cause it was so intimate. Jack started to smile and Ennis kissed him, closed-mouthed, soft and quick, not wanting to rush into anything. After that last amazing intercourse of yesterday, Jack might appreciate a little more time to recover.

"Is that all you got for me this morning, Cowboy?"

So Ennis dove in again, and again, until Jack seemed satisfied.

Jack then seemed to also notice that it was raining in that particular way outside. He gave Ennis a very promising gaze.

"Looks like we have an excuse to stay in bed all day, huh?"

Ennis laughed. Jack cuddled closer for a while and they laid intertwined in silence, listening to the rain. They finally showered, changed the sheets and brought cookies back to the bedroom for breakfast, sitting next to each other.

"By the way, Cowboy, you got me quite curious... What is your usual brush-off line, huh? And 'usual'? Should I keep you on a leash, huh?"

Ennis was surprised Jack remembered that little detail line in particular in all he had said that night, and shrugged.

"It's not THAT usual, don't bother."

"Well, I do bother." Jack grinned, "And it may turn out useful if I need a foot massage someday. Come on..."

Ennis recognized the tone. Jack was curious and wasn't gonna let it drop until Ennis spilled something, you bet. Ennis sighed.

"Well, first time I said it, it was actually because, well, it was the truth, and I was too stunned to think of something else, 'cause no woman had tried to hit on me, since, well, Alma, huh... It seemed to work pretty well. I mean, that woman, she just looked like she wanted to run away all of a sudden. So yeah, I've used it a few times since. But how this time it ended with a foot massage, I still don't get it... "

"Well, what do you say?"

"I wait for them to ask what I do for a living. Then I answer I'm castrating calves."

Jack blinked. And started to laugh. And couldn't stop. "You've gotta be kidding me. God, Ennis, that's a really catchy line."

Ennis shot him a very puzzled look, "Well, it's saying I'm a ranch hand. Which means I don't have that much free time, nor that much money. Plus, it's gross. Makes me seem rude, harsh and crude."

Jack laughed harder, "Oh boy, you got it all wrong. I guess you were right, in a way. Little Cassie, she has a silly mind, just like me. Don't you see it? It's quite... charged. You know," he stated whispering, as if sharing a secret, "All this bull-to-be power getting into you while you do that... Come on, I'm sure she wanted you to take her right there."

Ennis knew he was blushing and avoided Jack's gaze. "Jack..."

Breakfast time was over as Jack shoved all the cookies away and climbed on his lap. "Anyway. Now, being a rodeo king and all, I really wonder... Do you think I can tame that powerful bull of yours?"

Jack's impish grin was just irresistible.

"You can always give it a try, if you think you're up to the task, huh, Rodeo..."

And then, only thing that mattered to Ennis was that Jack was all his world, and that it was the only world he wanted to live in.

Some time later, after they had recovered, Jack was again the first to talk, flashing him one of those trademark big grin.

"Promise me you'll find a better brush-off line from now on, Cowboy. Like, 'I'm not interested'. Or better, 'My bull already belongs to a very sexy blue-eyed rodeo king'. You know, something like that, it's catchy too, but it wouldn't encourage them much."

Ennis chuckled. "Whatever... I'm not sure about that last line though, Bud..."

They stayed in bed all day.

JACK POV

The day after, the sun was back. It wasn't warm, but it was clear, and Ennis suggested they go hunting, maybe for an elk, as he had said in April.

They had been moving through the woods for a few hours when they found a nice specimen. As always, Jack then just watched: when it came to shooting, Ennis was the best, sure thing. Jack didn't bother, he always loved to be able to see the concentration on Ennis's features.

Ennis never flinched. Hadn't in '63, when they'd both been hungry for something other than just beans. Hadn't in '75. Wouldn't today. Jack realized there was a pattern here and suddenly wasn't in the mood for hunting anymore. Jack surely didn't need any sort of re-bonding ritual sacrifice this time. Done that already in '75, couldn't say it had worked that good, huh. And maybe it wasn't necessary because, well, actually... it felt like they had reconnected, already.

Ennis's finger started to move towards the trigger.

"Don't."

Ennis gave him a perplexed glance.

"Don't. We chased him, we got close without him noticing, and I know you wouldn't miss the shot. It's enough, Ennis. Let him be."

Ennis didn't seem persuaded.

Jack sighed. "We're not cavemen, Cowboy. And you don't have to prove to me that you can put food on the table, or whatever."

Ennis laughed, and lowered the gun. "My, My, Rodeo. When did you become that wise and philosophical, huh?"

Jack played hurt and shoved Ennis in the shoulder. "Hey. Anyway, I could survive on my own, you know..." He grinned, "Unlike you, I actually can fish."

And it was true. They both remembered the only time they had ever started fishing; Jack had got two bites before Ennis had finished his first cigarette.

Ennis shoved him back in the shoulder. "Only thing that means is that you're a lucky guy, Bud..."

Jack just gave him a look and continued, more seriously now, "Well, it sure feels like I am."

Ennis stopped laughing too and returned his gaze to the place where the elk had been a few moments ago, before their joking around had made him disappear; probably embarrassed, as he was whenever Jack hinted at too romantic words, even without saying them.

"Guess that elk shares that feeling, huh?"

Jack relished the moment for a while, feeling the air heavy with words unsaid, but words they shared nonetheless.

Ennis was the first to cut the silence. "On the practical side, we won't have to cut him open to prepare the meat, huh. I've never been a fan of that bloody part."

Jack laughed, feeling, as always, lightheaded when Ennis joked.

"Yep, you make a good point. But I have an even better one." Ennis looked at him and Jack grinned. "Means we can go back to the cabin right now, and not in 2 hours or so..."

Ennis smirked back. "Tired already, Rodeo?"

"On the contrary, Cowboy. But I sure wouldn't mind getting tucked into bed."

Ennis looked really interested now, and started to walk back to their horses.

"Better hurry then, before all your sweet talk gets us rolling in the muddy grass."

Jack followed on cue, whispering playfully, "There was a time we didn't mind about dirty muddy grass."

Ennis chuckled and blushed; and wasn't that a vision, huh... And don't forget the mumbling as he started walking faster...

"True. Once. Then we started bringing blankets along everywhere we went."

Jack let out a fake big sigh and playfully slapped his forehead. "Jeez, I knew I was forgetting something when I packed this morning."

They were back at the cabin in a time worthy of the Guinness Book of Records. And then they got the shower time Jack had been hoping for since their first night here. And, of course, it was great.

ENNIS POV

They played Battleship on a piece of paper to decide who would clean the dishes or take care of the horses after supper. It was something Jack had started years ago with some card game. It was silly, but it was fun, so they always played little games to share the daily chores. Ennis had soon added new games that he'd learned from his daughters to their collection. Battleship was one of those.

Then they ate pasta with ready-to-use tomato sauce out of a jar, one of their most refined usual meal. In twenty years, they still hadn't really improved on their cooking skills. They often joked about it, but never minded.

Tonight, Jack had won. He had chosen the horses, so Ennis was now cleaning the dishes, a smile on his lips.

Lucky Jack, huh...

Ennis had been touched by that little declaration this afternoon. But Ennis couldn't deny that Jack was right; he knew sure enough that he felt damn lucky too, huh. Being together was back to feeling just... right. And easy, and... well, really good.

Ennis wondered if he should give it to Jack tonight. He had planned it as a parting gift, but he wanted Jack to know that he felt the same; and he had something to make it more real than his little elk talk of this afternoon.

That's what you came here for anyway, right?

Ennis decided tonight would be the right moment. At least, it would be done, and he would stop torturing himself about the when and the how to do it, huh...

Jack returned just when Ennis had finished taking care of the fire to keep the cabin warm for some time. Ennis watched Jack wash his hands. He loved those hands.

Of course you do. They're Jack's.

Ennis then walked to him, took his hand and led him towards the bedroom.

"I've got something for you, Bud."

Jack chuckled, seeing the direction the were going, "Yeah, sure. All hard and waiting for me to get in bed, right?"

Ennis felt some color rise to his cheeks. "Nah." He had to grin, though, as Jack gave him a deceived, playful pout.

When they got in the bedroom, Ennis brought Jack by the bed. "Just sit here and close your eyes."

Jack gave him another lustful look then, 'cause Ennis asking him to close his eyes usually led to more interesting things than sitting on the bed. "You're sure I don't need to get my clothes off?"

Ennis chuckled, "I'm sure."

Jack just gave up then, sighed loudly as if to say "You're nuts", and, after a last puzzled glance, went to sit against the headbord and let his eyelids fall.

Ennis didn't do much for some time, checking that Jack was keeping his eyes shut.

Liar. You're just frozen. Do I have to kick your ass or what? I'd be happy to if I could, you know. Now, move!

Ennis finally went for his bag, and, after a few zips and zips, went back to sit on the bed too, facing Jack, leaning on the footboard.

"So, can I open my eyes now?"

Ennis could see that Jack was now quite curious about all this, 'cause he wasn't able to sit still, and he decided to relish this a bit longer. He knew, though, that the real reason for delaying was that he was anxious as Hell.

"Not yet."

Ennis looked again at the little thing in his hand. Such a tiny thing, but which could mean so much. This was his solution. His way to make it enough, again. It still wasn't what Jack really wanted, and Ennis knew it. But Jack would realize that this was a huge, huge step for him, right?

Just get it over with before you chicken yourself out of it.

Ennis let out a big sigh and went for it.

"Give me your hand, Jack."

Jack did as asked and Ennis placed the rope he had tied to it in Jack's hand, then moved Jack's hand a bit higher to level the little item with Jack's eyes.

"Open your eyes, Bud."

Ennis watched closely. And saw all he had hoped to see on Jack's face. Surprise, amazement, and something like hope and joy too. Jack opened his mouth but just a gasp came out. He tried again, and his voice was sort of shaky.

"Ennis... Is this... Is this what I think it is?"

Ennis smiled, his real full smile. "Yeah, Jack. The key to my house. And it's for you to keep."

"God, Ennis, it's... I don't know what to say."

Ennis laughed softly, "Well, that's something new!"

Jack chuckled. Ennis bit on his lip for awhile, and then went on. "See, Bud, I've been thinking. Seriously thinking. And I know now that I was wrong all along. To keep you safe, Jack, I have to let you near, and not push you away 'till... I realize it's not... And you'll still be the one on the road and all. But for now...", he sighed, "I can't do more, Bud. I'm trying something hard here, you know... But I want you to know that... You should know that... I won't reject you ever again. Never, Jack. I swear."

Jack was now quiet, and his eyes had gotten a bit shiny. Ennis knew his own eyes must look just the same.

Then Jack whispered, "God, Cowboy, I'm really gonna start dreaming again, you know that, right?"

"Well, it's maybe damn time I start dreaming a bit too."

Jack laughed. Genuine, pure joy. "Who are you and what have you done to Ennis del Mar?"

Ennis smiled shyly back. "Threw him away in a bin, got tired of him always being such an ass, huh..."

There was nothing but silence for a few seconds, but it was a silence they shared, and it felt good.

But Ennis wasn't finished. He braced himself and went on. "There are rules though."

Jack chuckled, "I knew it! Good old Ennis again, huh." Then he sat straighter, and Ennis was relieved to see that Jack wasn't making fun of it but took it seriously too, if only for Ennis's sake. "Go on, tell me all about the unbreakable rules."

"Well, I know the road to my house is not a big major road, and I know I don't have close neighbours, but we have to be discreet, you know. Really discreet, Jack. That's something that won't ever change, and I ain't joking."

Jack tilted his head towards him. "I guess there are specifics arrangements then, to be discreet enough in your eyes?"

"You should check before taking the turn that there are no others cars around. And I built a carport, but the back is shut, so you can't see anything from the road. Don't want people to be able to notice eventually how long you stay. So that's where you have to park your pick-up."

"I can do that."

"And whatever we do, we can't go to Riverton. If we feel like having a drink or go to eat somewhere, if you need gas, or anything else, we're just going... somewhere else."

Jack smiled, and inched closer. "I bet there isn't that much to do in Riverton anyway."

Ennis felt uneasy; the next one was the one which he wanted Jack not to take the wrong way. He sighed, let his head drop and took the plunge.

"And here's the last one. I have the girls normally each last weekend of the month. But it changes sometimes. And Junior is soon going to get her driving license. And, well, you can't plan everything... So... it may happen that you won't be able to turn your key and open the door, 'cause I'll let mine full in the lock if the girls — or anyone else — are inside."

"Ennis!"

"Please, Jack, I'm not finished. The odds of it happening aren't that high anyway, there are really not that many people who are used to paying me a visit. I just had to think on the possibility, because we have to play safe. I just don't want anybody to know that you have a key. If you can't use your key, you'll know we're not alone. But you knock, and I will let you in. You hear me here Jack; I will let you in. You can say that you were in the area for your work or something, and that you had time for a drink. The girls saw you once already, I really don't think they would ask themselves too many questions... I mean, last month, I realized something. Buddies do get out together, talk and even tease each other, and no one ever bothers. I guess I was always scared of being seen with you because I know that you're not just a buddy. But I realized that it doesn't mean that my girls or the waitress or the others customers would know that too..." He sighed. "Not that I don't want my girls to know, but... let's go slow, ok?"

Ennis didn't dare to get his eyes up again. Jack wasn't saying one word and he felt like his chest would explode from all the tension within.

"You really thought about all this, huh."

Ennis still couldn't guess if this little whisper was a good or a bad sign.

"Yeah. That's pretty much the deal."

He felt the bed shift as Jack moved closer.

"Ennis..."

Ennis finally brought his eyes up again, comforted by the way Jack's thumb was stroking his cheek.

"I think it's a pretty good deal."

And when Jack kissed him, Ennis knew he had been right.

"Nice to see you're getting some sense in your old age."

He grinned, relieved, "I'm not old."

"Whatever."

They kissed again, for a long time, stroking each other's faces and losing themselves in each other's eyes.

Until they needed more, and Jack started removing Ennis's clothes, unhurriedly but steadily, and Ennis followed his lead.

And Ennis knew what he wanted now. The only time this had happened had been years ago, their first trip after his divorce, in this very same bed. But then, it had been utterly for Jack — it had been the best way Ennis had found, after the debacle, to tell Jack everything he wanted to say but couldn't bring himself to actually say. Tonight, it was for Jack too, of course — was there even one thing he did which wasn't for Jack, huh? — but somehow, this time, it was for himself too. Ennis slicked himself and whispered as he placed himself at Jack's entrance.

"Keep 'em open."

Jack's features softened for one wonderful, long second. Ennis's eyes locked with Jack's, black now in the full night's cloak, but Ennis could swear he was seeing that unique shade of blue anyway, so bright were they glowing from within. Then Ennis pushed in, his grunt and Jack's gasp echoing around them as one sound, the key in their joined hands as a talisman.

Jack bit his under lip to muffle his moan. He seemed already so far gone, but — which was sort of funny for someone who most of the time never seemed to be able to get there fast enough: hands clutching or back arching, hips rocking, always begging for more, more, and now, in that always "and don't you dare deny me, 'cause I can be just as strong as you are and you damn well know it" way — Ennis could sense that this time, again, Jack wanted it to last. And Ennis had no problem at all with that; as far as he was concerned, it should last forever.

So he held on, for both their sakes; strong and steady, yet slow, one thrust at a time, making them both moan, grunt or shiver at each hit, but waiting for it to subside before moving again, Jack's eyes or his own closing a few times of their own volition with the intensity of it all, but always opening again to find their other half's burning brighter than the sparkling lightning behind their eyelids the moment before.

Until it all became too much, just too much, and Ennis couldn't keep one rasped, desperate "Jack" from escaping his lips as his thrusts turned more frantic. But Jack didn't seem to mind, if the "God, yes, Ennis" he answered was any indication, and soon Ennis heard the precious last hissed "Ennis", felt Jack spasm as his stomach got wet, the mix of it all sending him over his edge too, losing himself in Jack's body and finding himself back in Jack's soul.

JACK POV

Jack wasn't even trying anymore to understand what was going on. Each day Ennis surprised him more and more. It was... incredible, overwhelming, exhilarating, addictive, amazing, wonderful, and best of all: it was real. As real as the key now clutched in his hand, a key to a house, Ennis's house; but even more, a key to a future which had never felt, in 20 years, so possible as now. Jack knew that Ennis, by giving him his key, was in fact 'checking the water'. Testing if it felt safe enough for him, before taking the real leap.

No wonder he understands horses so well, he's just like them. A frightened filly: ask him to cross a river and he WILL try to throw you, but just go step after step, and well, he'll move forward.

If Jack had learned anything from these last six months, it was maybe that giving Ennis the time and space he needed seemed to be, after all, what worked best. Ennis had written last month. And now Ennis was listening; and even better, he was talking back. Ennis had said he couldn't do more FOR NOW. Ennis had said he was TRYING something. Ennis had said he should START dreaming. So Jack would play slow, very slow, but if he had gotten Ennis this far, way farther than he had thought possible for years, Jack believed there was a real chance for that huge little bit more, someday. And for now, that was enough. More than enough.

They made love slowly, tenderly, and when Ennis entered him, he didn't ask Jack to close his eyes, as he still did anytime he took him face to face. And they held each other's gaze all the way through, and, in the depths of whiskey-brown, Jack saw what had to also be in his own blue, every gasp, moan, shiver, and said or unsaid promises, while holding the key in their joined hands. It was better than great this time; it was fucking beautiful. Jack knew exactly what it cost Ennis to allow that, and he knew that those three whispered words — "Keep 'em open" — meant exactly the same as the three other words Ennis believed to be forbidden between them. So yeah, beautiful, you bet.

Afterwards, they lay facing each other and stayed silently lost in each other's eyes, still holding the key in their joined hands, until they fell asleep. Jack could swear they still stayed locked together in their dreams, 'cause all he could remember when he awoke the next day was having swum in melted amber all night long.

The end of the week came, as always, far too soon. They had cleaned every inch of the cabin, and their stuff was packed in their trucks. It was time to part. But for once Jack didn't feel like bitching about it. It was sad, and yet not as sad as it used to be. Even their goodbyes felt easier. In a way, it turned out... kinda soothing.

Normally, they shared a last smoke while leaning against one of their pick-ups, trying not to look at each other before exchanging their usual goodbyes — Ennis's "You take care, Bud" and Jack's simple "You too" — as Ennis would crush the cigarette under his foot before climbing into his pick-up.

But today, when Ennis came to lean against Jack's pick-up, he took Jack by the hand and brought him close until Jack was nestled between his legs. And they kept holding each other by the loops in the back of their jeans, just sharing the silence, forehead to forehead, for quite a long time.

"Time to go, Bud."

"I know."

But they didn't move; quiet for a time.

"I'm real glad you came, Jack."

He chuckled, "You told me that already." Then he sobered, continuing seriously, "I'm real glad I came too."

Ennis squeezed him closer briefly. "Take care, huh."

Jack squeezed back. "You too."

Then they let go of each others and Ennis started to move towards his pick-up. He turned back before opening the door.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around."

And Jack felt like laughing. He suddenly realized that it was just EXACTLY what Ennis meant. What Ennis had always meant, each time those words had escaped his lips. Jack would never try to find another meaning behind them anymore. He smiled.

"Oh yeah, you will."