AN: This is more of a character development chapter. I'm sorry that it's really long (and probably boring)... I don't normally write long chapters except with this story. I think I like babbling in Leslie's voice too much. I hope you enjoy this anyway. Thank you again for all the hits and kudos and comments, I really appreciate that you guys are sticking around for this.
If I drown myself with enough studying, sometimes it distracts me from the events that conspired in the past weeks.
It helps me forget a certain dark-haired boy whose smile was as rare as seeing Pawnee on the list of top 100 best towns to visit in America. And when the memories come creeping up on me, I just recited the Preamble to the Constitution, and I imagine I'm reciting this in front of the senate, it gets me really into the scene and I forget the most embarrassing moment of my life.
But when the night hits and the lights are off and I can't use studying as an excuse and then I forget the words to the constitution, that's when the feelings just flow through me. His face pops up in my brain. And I start feeling like a stupid idiot that believed the worst of Ben. He may have been a jerk when I first met him, but when I looked back at some of the times that we talked to each other, he wasn't so bad. I just chose to ignore it because I was too caught up with my first impression of him.
Ugh, this is the reason why for the past few days, I have not been sleeping well. Usually around midnight, while I stared at my ceiling, my mind just kept replaying everything. I've practically memorized Ben's letter by now and his last paragraph never failed to shatter my heart into a million pieces over and over. And basically, whatever might have been the future of our relationship was very likely gone now.
He probably hates my guts. How could he not hate me? I yelled at him and told him what an awful human being he was.
But really, who was I kidding? It would have never worked out between us. He should just respect his family's wishes and I should just focus on school. I shouldn't feel miserable. I should be happy that I dodged a bullet. But the question is, why didn't I feel happy?
Okay, I really needed to focus right now though. I was standing with a crowd of volunteers waiting for our assignments. We were preparing for the annual University Fair to be held at Freedom Park next weekend. And as part of the scholarship program I was in, I had to do volunteer work for school events.
In front of us was the event manager holding the list of names and handing out assignments. He was an older looking boy, probably just got out of college. When he called my name and I raised my hand, he gave me a look that took more than a few seconds and then said that he was going to get back to me after he handed out everyone's tasks. I shrugged and wondered what that was about.
When everyone else dispersed to go find their booths, the boy approached me. I think his name was Henry. I really wasn't paying much attention earlier, which has been happening often lately since I can't seem to keep Ben's letter out of my mind.
"Leslie?" He asked with raised eyebrows.
"Yup. That's me."
"Alright, it's your lucky day! You are going to be working with me. And you're going to help me manage this whole event."
I was excited to hear this. My first big event in college that I would organize. Henry smiled at my excitement and for a second, he kind of reminded me of Ben. But I blamed that on my brain constantly thinking about Ben. I needed to concentrate though, this was a really important event for the university and it will have people outside of the school attending, so I took the clipboard from Henry and tried to make sense of it.
We worked for a few hours and there was some small talk between us. It was nice. He was nice. He asked me a lot about what books I've read. And he had read most of them too. Plus, I really admired how organized he was. Organizing this annual gathering was an immense deal to undertake. His management skills were noteworthy. I was kind of crushing hard on his take-charge personality. He seemed to have a lot of experience with this and I loved that I was learning new stuff from him.
I was thinking about introducing him to Ann. Maybe they would hit it off and then Ann can move on from Chris. She says she's over him, but I know my BFF. She really liked Chris and I can tell that their breakup crushed her. She's just putting on a brave face because she doesn't want me to worry. Henry seemed like someone Ann would love, he was charming and very self-assured.
I watched as Henry rummaged through his things, he groaned when looked like he remembered something, "Shoot, I need to grab some stuff from the apartment. You wanna come with me? We can talk about the tasks along the way."
"Uh, sure." We had a lot to do, but he was in charge, so I should follow him around for the day. We got into his car and I fastened my seat belt, hoping his apartment wasn't that far.
"Do you know what you're going to major in yet?" He asked, continuing the small talk that we'd been having.
"Oh, um, well, I'm going back and forth between three choices. Either politics, history or sociology."
"That's cool. And are you single?"
I raised my eyebrow at him. Was he flirting with me? He was giving me such a cute smile and it didn't seem like a serious question, so I gave him a non-serious answer, "You mean like, am I one person as oppose to multiple persons?"
He gave me a hearty laugh and it was contagious. I let myself forget about Ben for a few minutes. But then Henry stopped the car in front of Ben's apartment, and I turned to him sharply. "Wait, you live here?" My eyes were probably bulging out of their sockets.
"My brother does."
My heart did that thing where it stops for a second and then the second actually feels like hours and you think that your heart won't restart again, and you feel like you're about to die.
"Is your last name Wyatt?" My voice was a tiny whisper.
"Uh huh. Henry Wyatt." He looked at me and probably noticed my pale face, because he suddenly sounded worried, "Leslie, are you okay?"
I tried to breathe through my nose and somehow found the strength to pretend I was fine. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm okay. Perfectly fine. I'm fine."
I wasn't fine. I had been talking to Ben's brother the whole morning and now he's going to tell Ben that he met Leslie Knope and then they're going to compare notes and then Ben's going to tell him what an awful human being I was.
Henry got out of the car and ran to the passenger side to open the door for me. I prayed that my legs were still working so I wouldn't fall when I stepped out of the car. But Henry had his hand out for me to take and I was thankful for that.
I followed him in the apartment and up to Ben's room. My heart was pounding in my ears. I was thinking about what I would say if I saw Ben. I hesitated for a few seconds before I stepped inside.
I felt so relieved to find the room empty. Thank God, Ben wasn't around. I surveyed his room. It felt like I was invading a private part of Ben's world. I looked around and marveled at how huge and clean it was. Hell, it was definitely less cluttered than mine.
Henry told me to feel at home and he disappeared into the walk-in closet to get what he needed. And I was still standing like an idiot at the entrance. I noticed Ben's desk from across the room and I was really curious and started walking towards it.
Ben's mahogany desk was neatly organized and a dozen action figures were displayed on shelves above it. My eyes caught a small shiny object half hidden behind a toy that looked like a green dwarf-like elf with long pointy ears. I looked closer and realized it was the Li'l Sebastian pin I had given him.
That sort of caught me by surprise, I thought he would have thrown that thing away, it was probably crap compared to the other fancy gifts he received. But seeing it on his shelf made me wonder why he kept it.
"Leslie?" The unmistakable sound of Ben saying my name had filled the room.
Hearing Ben's voice made me panic. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I felt like my soul had left me and I was just an empty shell and my stomach was laden with rocks and my feet were cemented on the floor. And I'm not even exaggerating any of this at all.
"Leslie."
He said my name a second time and it sounded nearer which made me jump. I turned around and Ben was standing a few inches away from me. His nearness made me step back a little and I bumped into his desk. His hand shot out instinctively to keep me steady. I was such a nervous wreck. My brain had forgotten how to think. And his hands on my arms were burning a hole through me.
"Ben." I managed to say in a raspy voice. I cleared my throat. He was staring at me and I stared back, my mind stopped functioning because I had no idea what to say next.
"Unhand my guest, little brother!" Henry's loud voice cut through the dead air.
Ben broke eye contact with me to face his brother. "Henry? What are you doing here?" Ben dropped his hands to his side quickly like he was caught doing something illegal.
"Oh, I needed gloves. And I brought this lovely lady with me. Leslie, this is my brother, Ben. Ben, this is Leslie, she's working with me to help plan for the annual fair. And she's awesome and I'll probably marry her someday." Henry joked.
Ben just stood there with his mouth open.
I just nodded, unable to tell Henry that I already met Ben. That I knew Ben. And that there was a lot of history between us. And that I was happy to see Ben again and that he looked good. Really good. A wave of emotion rushed through me as I realized how much I missed him. And oh my God, my brain was exploding at all the feelings I was feeling right now. I couldn't help but stare at Ben, like I was seeing him for the first time, in a different light. I wanted him to say more, to say something, anything that would assure me that he didn't hate me. But Ben looked as flustered as me.
"Huh, it seems that my brother has been rendered speechless. That doesn't happen often." Henry joked again, he turned to me and held out his elbow. "Are you ready to go, Les?" I placed my hand through it, very much aware that Ben was seeing all this unfold.
Before heading out, Henry said to both Ben and I, "You know what, I suddenly remember this funny story my brother told me. About a girl from this school named Leslie, who also happens to have nice blonde hair like yours." At this point I noticed Ben had gone rigid and was glaring at his brother. And it dawned on me that Henry had done all of this on purpose.
"What did Ben say about this blonde girl?" I asked quietly, keeping my eyes on Ben, who was still staring hard at Henry. It looked like Ben was about to tackle Henry to the ground.
"Oh, that he really liked her, but he blew it big time. Because he's an idiot." Henry said, looking very amused with himself.
Ben exhaled loudly and caught my eyes. Ben gave me a tight and awkward smile, his mouth opened and closed like he wanted to say something but couldn't make up his mind.
Henry chuckled at his Ben's tortured look and announced, "Welp, we need to head back to the field. Still a lot of things to do today. Feel free to come by anytime, Benji."
Henry whisked me out of the Ben's room in a hurry. I was still in shock and confused about what just happened. I didn't even have time to say goodbye.
We got back into the car and immediately Henry apologized while we drove back to the park. "I'm so sorry, Leslie. I knew the minute you said your name that you were the girl my brother had told me about. I just wanted to get to know you first before you found out who I was."
"And what did you find out about me?" I could hear a little sass in my voice as I asked this. I was still examining how I felt about this deception. It was annoying that he withheld information from me, but I also got to see Ben again because of this. And now I know that Ben doesn't completely hate me because of what had happened. The encounter was awkward as hell, though and I wondered if things will ever be normal between Ben and I.
"I found out why my brother fell in love with you." I felt myself blush when I heard what he had to say. How was I supposed to reply to that? I was completely embarrassed that Henry was aware of what had happened between Ben and I. Henry continued, "Sorry, I know it's none of my business. But Ben's not like me. I inherited our father's straightforwardness and he inherited our mother's soft side. And when I found out that you flat out rejected him, well, I got really curious. I mean between the two of us, he's like the nicer dorkier one. And I never in a million years thought anyone would reject him."
We reached the park and I opened the door before Henry got out. I needed a little fresh air and wanted to be alone with my thoughts, so I walked ahead of him and continued with my work in silence. Henry tried to start a few more conversations, but I kept my answers short. I was still a little mad about earlier, I wasn't happy being assessed like some kind of goods to be checked for quality.
I was concentrating on drawing out the map where different booths would go, when I overheard a group of girls talking about the Wyatts.
"Oh, my God. Henry is super-hot. Brains and body. Perfect package. Just cool and overflowing with confidence." There was a long sigh that came out of the girls mouth after she made that announcement.
Another girl piped up, "But his brother, Ben, is the nice one. Their family donates to different kinds of charities, but Ben donates his time. He actually volunteers in those organizations. Ugh, my God, he's such a dreamboat."
"I hear they're both single. And are like the most sought-after bachelors. Super rich and not the obnoxious kind too." This was coming from another girl in the group.
One of the younger girls from the group excitedly told her story, "Ben helped me out big time on one of my projects. He's so down to earth for a rich guy. I mean, when he found out I was failing a class, he was like, do you want me to help you study for the finals, and I was like, yes! And I passed that test because of him."
"Ugh, what an amazing guy. I would kill to be his girlfriend."
"I would die to make out with him for an hour."
"He could literally step on me or hit me with his car."
I realized I'd been holding on to my clipboard too tightly while listening to all this chatter. I had enough of the daydreamers and walked to the opposite side of the gossiping girls. I was getting a little irritated that they were all lusting after Ben. I was also annoyed because it's not like we were together and why was I even feeling possessive about something that doesn't belong to me.
Henry stood beside me and looked over the map of the fair grounds. "Great job, Leslie. This is a really good planogram for the booths." His expression turned serious, when he tried to apologize again. "Look, I know you're angry about what I did. I'm really, really sorry."
I faced him and let him know how annoyed I was, "I don't appreciate being misled like that. Also, I don't appreciate that you took me to Ben's apartment to pull some kind of prank on him."
"Oh, it wasn't a prank. I really did need something from the apartment. I didn't realize he would be coming back so soon. And I really did want to get to know you better." Henry paused and brought out a charming smile. "I'm glad I did because I had one of the best conversations about women in government than I've ever had with anyone."
Even though I wanted to stay mad at Henry, my annoyance was disappearing as we worked together on the plans for the fair. Henry was eager to impart knowledge and every time he opened his mouth, I would learn a lot from him about organizing events. I was keeping an open mind now because the last time I judged a person it backfired big time on me. And Henry wasn't too bad. He was enjoyable to talk to, funny and smart. And so, I chose to forgive him. You're looking at Leslie 2.0, one that was a lot more chill than Leslie 1.0.
I had one more exam before the weekend hits. I had been studying hard for my Philo test. This was the test that Mark and I were supposed to have that study date for. He bailed on me though (not surprised), but he did ask for my notes to be sent to him through email, which I sent because even though I was mad at him, I still wanted him to pass the test.
I also wanted to see Mark so we could have talked about why he was a lying liar. OK, not that I would flat out say that to his face. But he was a liar. And I believed Ben 100%. I have come to terms that I made a huge mistake in my judgement. Which is really hard to admit, because I'm almost never wrong.
But I was wrong on this. And I wish I hadn't yelled at Ben, but the past is the past, so I'm trying to move forward. I focused on my classes and the upcoming university fair. Organizing the event took up most of my free time, I was working really hard with Henry to make sure it ran smoothly.
On the day of the exam, I noticed Mark sitting at the back and I didn't have time to talk to him before or after the test, but I'll figure out another time or way to have a conversation with him. I submitted my paper confidently and Professor Swanson gave me a nod of approval. Which meant a lot to me because he hardly ever did that for any of his students. I really felt positive about this. I still had a long way to go but at least my professor was acknowledging the fact that I was putting a lot of effort on his class.
After the test, I was free to focus on the event planning. A few times, Ben had come to the park to visit his brother. And since I was always around Henry, Ben and I sort of got to hang out again. It wasn't like before where he was really chatty, this time we often had long stretches of silence and if I glanced up I would sometimes catch Ben staring at me.
This time, I decided to call him out on it. "What are you staring at?" I asked with a smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I just, you just, you're so good at this. You're like a ninja crossed with a Jedi or something."
I laughed because the term Jedi was the only thing I know about Star Wars. "You're being nerdy again."
"Star Wars is not that nerdy."
"Well I haven't seen any of it."
"And I'm pretty sure that's considered a crime. We need to fix that. You should come over to my apartment sometime and we can watch it together. I have all of it in blue-ray."
"Oh yeah? Um, sure, I'd, um, I'd love that." I stammered a little, I was thinking about sitting on a couch next to him while we watched it. It looked like a date in my mind. But I didn't want to get my hopes up. Ben was probably just being nice.
We were back to being silent again. But at least we were talking. After that night I yelled at him, I really thought I'd never get to talk to him again. And even if we couldn't be romantically involved, at least we could still be friends. And friendship is better because friends help you move. They drive you to the airport. Boyfriends just love you and marry you. The last part was meant to be a joke but it stung a little bit as I thought about it.
The day of the University Fair was super stressful. Henry and I had to firefight a couple of drastic issues that threatened opening night. The band cancelled on us due to an emergency with the lead singer, but I called Andy and Mouserat was available to take over at the last minute. And we were back on schedule again.
Henry gave an awesome speech before he sent us to our posts. The event started off with a few words from the University Board and then Mouserat took over and the fun started. I walked around the park and felt so proud of what we had accomplished. We had a lot of student turnout and citizens who lived nearby were also enjoying the booths that we set up.
"Hey." Ben appeared beside me with cotton candy on his hand. He offered it to me, and I gladly took it. "Congratulations, Leslie. This fair is by far the best I have ever been to."
I beamed at his compliment. "Well, your brother is amazing at his job."
"Speaking of the devil." Ben said sarcastically, when Henry joined us.
"What do you think, Ben?"
"I was just telling Leslie what a wonderful job you guys did."
Henry draped his arm on my shoulder and said proudly, "Leslie made it easy, she did most of my job." It didn't go unnoticed that Ben was glaring at his brother again.
"So, what are you guys good friends now?" Ben asked suspiciously.
"The best." Henry laughed, "Alright, I'm gonna leave you two lovebirds alone. Great job again, Leslie. Enjoy your fruits of labor." He disappeared among the crowd, leaving Ben and I alone.
"Sometimes, I really hate my brother." Ben joked.
We walked around the park side by side. We stopped in front of a carnival booth where you throw darts at balloons to win a prize. Ben bought a few tokens and he was actually pretty good. He won a medium sized prize and he let me choose which one to take from the selection. I picked the cute panda one.
Ben and I were checking off names for my new panda stuffed toy when he spotted Shauna and Stephanie. We headed to them and I braced myself with having to interact with Shauna again. Shauna gave Ben a kiss on the cheek. Which I assumed was how rich people greeted each other and that it wasn't because Shauna and Ben were now dating. I hoped to God they weren't dating.
Oh, my God. What if they were dating? I mean, I rejected Ben, so he's probably moved on by now. But then again, Ben didn't come to the fair with her. Ughh! Why was I overthinking this? I basically had no right to know if Ben had moved on. I mean, I did yell at him that I didn't want what he had to offer.
"Hi Leslie. I heard that you helped out with this event." Stephanie politely said to me. "This is really amazing what you guys did."
"Thank you! I learned so much from your brother."
"Henry is amazing. I love him to death." Shauna said in her sweet sappy voice. "Oh, hey, where's your boyfriend, Mark Berdernawiz? Brendanawitch, I always forget how to say his last name." Shauna wondered out loud.
She didn't notice that Stephanie paled at the mention of Mark. It seemed that Shauna had no idea what Mark had done to Stephanie or else she wouldn't have mentioned his name in front of her. And that means, Shauna isn't as close a friend to Stephanie as she made herself out to be.
"Mark is not my boyfriend. Nor my friend at this point." I said, hoping that she'd drop the topic. I was well aware that Ben had released a deep breath at hearing this information.
It looked like my answer greatly annoyed Shauna, since she probably hoped that my having a boyfriend would mean I would leave Ben alone. "That's too bad. Don't worry, though, Leslie. I'm sure an ordinary looking person like you will find someone."
Before I could react, Ben came to my defense, "Leslie is not ordinary looking. She's one of the most beautiful women I've ever met." I felt my ears burn as all the blood from my body rushed to my head. Shauna's jaw dropped to the floor at this statement and Stephanie was smiling from ear to ear.
Ben Wyatt just called me beautiful. I tried to hide my huge smile behind the cotton candy I was holding. This was turning out to be the best night of my life.
Little did I know that on Monday, I would be experiencing the worst day of my lifeā¦
