A/N – A huge thank you to JackMyles for whipping this chapter into shape and many hugs for Mistymist for reading over my initial draft.


Feeling the Loss


It was less than an hour later when she and Ron arrived safely back in England. She penned a quick letter to Charlie, so he wouldn't worry, and sent it back through the floo network; it would be much quicker than sending an owl.

Hermione was barely aware of what was going on as her companion organized everything. He confirmed their international travel details, gathered her trunk from where the security wizards had moved it to be scanned for any contraband items and purchased an extra bag of floo powder so they could get to the Burrow.

She sat in the small plastic chair against the wall, mindlessly watching the countless witches and wizards who were flooing in from all around the world. The Ministry Consulates acted much like a Muggle Airport did, but instead of planes they had a terminal full of hundreds of fireplaces connected to countries all around the world. It was how they had all travelled to Romania in the first place.

She remembered how excited and happy she had been, to be travelling by this method, a magic she had only ever read about. Of course they could have taken a portkey, and went as a group directly to the Dragon Reservation, but Ron had humoured her and booked them all in to floo. Looking at him now she realised that not all aspects of their relationship had been bad, occasionally he had done things like that, just to make her happy.

Ron noticed her staring at him from where he stood over at the desk, waiting for the pretty witch behind it to stamp all of their papers, and gave her a half smile. She considered how much it must have taken for him to be the one to come and collect her; to overcome all that had happened and forgive and forget. Now he was there for her and she suddenly couldn't imagine anyone else being the bearer of bad news; except perhaps for Harry.

He finished with their paperwork and levitated her trunk, weaving through a group of Japanese tourists to where she sat.

"You ready to go?" he asked, holding out his hand and helping her up. She took several deep breaths as he led her over to the domestic fireplaces and opened a connection directly to the Burrow. Staring into the green flames she took a deep breath and tried to shake the surreal feeling the whole experience had taken on.

It was mere seconds when they landed in the familiar kitchen, Hermione's trunk following them through soon after. The kitchen was eerily silent for a moment as a dozen sets of eyes turned to stare at them.

Hermione was almost tempted to turn around and floo out and face her back to the gathered crowd. She had never felt uncomfortable in this place and she was suddenly very grateful for that. She took one step back but Ron grabbed hold of her hand to keep her at his side.

"We're home," Ron said, and Hermione glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. That was the best he could come up with?

"Never would have guessed Ronniekins, and here we were thinking the Dark Lord had come for tea." Fred snorted, his casual words seeming to break the tense silence that had stretched throughout the kitchen. Molly was the first to launch herself at the young witch, hugging her close, babbling incoherently about how happy she was to have her back and how sad it was under the circumstances. As she was passed from Weasley to Weasley and finally Harry, Hermione could do nothing but accept their hugs in a daze.

"Charlie didn't come with you?" Harry whispered in her ear, but his question must have been heard by the whole room because once again everyone seemed to stop.

"I-I asked him to stay," she replied timidly, almost regretting that decision now.

"And he didn't insist on joining you dear?" Molly asked, darting a worried glance at her husband. She knew that if her own father had been on his death bed Arthur would have moved heaven and earth to be at her side.

"Of course he bloody insisted Mum," Ron snapped, when he saw Hermione's eyes begin to fill with tears again, "Charlie and Hermione have been working really hard on the Hungarian Horntail project and they decided not to let the whole thing fall apart. I think it was a smart decision." Hermione was as surprised as everyone else, he was the first one they all thought would be making nasty accusations about just what had been going on in Romania, but he seemed well informed and even defensive about the whole thing.

"Oh," his mother said, now looking at Hermione who refused to look anyone else in the eye. "I guess that was a very … sensible decision dear. But I am sure you are tired from your journey, why don't you head on upstairs to wash up and I will make you a plate for when you are ready."

"Thank you Mrs Weasley, but I would rather just see my father first. I assume he is staying at the Royal London?" she asked, already heading for the door.

"Yes, of course, your mother is there with him now, but Hermione, I …" Molly never got to finish what she wanted to say because the young witch was already out the back door, her wand drawn to apparate away. The matriarch turned to look at her youngest son with a glare.

"I'll go after her, Mum," he mumbled, racing out the door to follow.

"What the bloody hell happened in Romania?" George asked, standing with the rest of his family, staring out the back window.

"Maybe she broke up with Charlie for Ron," Ginny suggested.

"Or maybe Ron and Charlie got in a fight and Ron dragged Hermione here by the hair," Fred guessed, seeming to like the idea of his brothers fighting over the one woman.

"Maybe Ron's telling the truth, maybe she really did ask Charlie to stay behind," Harry defended, pulling out his own wand, deciding to find out if he was right. Ginny glanced at her fiancé and followed his lead; they were halfway out the door when Mrs Weasley words stopped them.

"Maybe we should just wait until she is ready to tell us; after all, it must have been a very trying day for her. Harry love, tell Mrs Granger that she is welcome to join us for dinner if she decides to take a break from that nasty hospital food," Mrs Weasley said, not wanting to admit she had her own theories about Hermione and just what had happened in the few hours Ron had been gone. Her daughter and soon to be son-in-law nodded and left without another word.

Hermione arrived with a pop in the small disused courtyard at The Royal London Hospital; the area had been set up for witches and wizards who had Muggle family and friends staying within its walls. There was an elderly witch helping her tiny granddaughter re-secure her robes to one side and a man in a crisp business suit seated on a low stone bench typing furiously on his laptop, all three looked up at her before turning back to what they had been doing. Hermione barely spared them a glance as she pocketed her wand safely and prepared to exit the ivy covered courtyard.

"Hermione, wait!" Ron called to her; she spun around and watched as he ran toward her.

"You didn't have to come," she mumbled, understanding his intentions before he had even voiced them. She turned around and continued into the sterile hallway, making her way through the winding corridors, following the signs the whole way.

"I wanted to," he puffed as he kept up with her brisk pace, "Plus, I couldn't stand listening to them talking behind my back while you were here on your own," he added.

"I suppose they are curious why Charlie isn't here with me," she sighed, skirting around an empty gurney and changing her direction toward a set of steel elevator doors.

"I think we all are," Ron said, letting her punch the up button.

"I told you why, the Hungarian Horntail project is too important to just abandon. We agreed that this was the best solution,"

"I still think it should be Charlie here with you, not me. The whole family does,"

"Well you and the whole family can mind your own business. Besides, I didn't ask you to be here," Hermione snapped a little too harshly. The elevator doors pinged and opened; the couple entered and didn't speak to each other until they exited three floors up.

Hermione strode toward the brightly lit reception desk and took her place in line to be served; it was there they were joined by Ginny and Harry. Hermione didn't say a word as the three quietly moved to the side, allowing her to approach the desk alone. After a few enquiries she was giving the directions to the floor above them, she thanked the helpful receptionist before moving over to her friends.

"He's upstairs, you guys can go now if you want," she said.

"We'll wait for you, just take your time," Harry responded kindly, snaking his arm around her shoulders and steering her toward the elevators they had not long stepped out of.

"You really don't have to," she complained as they stepped out on the floor above, looking both ways before turning toward the right, following the doors until they arrived at the private room her father had been moved into.

"No, we don't have to, we want to," Ron responded, giving her a shove toward the door when she hesitated. Taking a shaking breath she entered the room alone.

Her mother launched herself into Hermione's arms the moment she saw her, both women suddenly sobbing almost uncontrollably. The man on the bed remained unconscious.

"Do you think he knows I am here?" Hermione asked a few hours later, looking away from her dying father and into the eyes of her grieving mother. Hermione had been devastated to learn that her father had not woken up since the day before.

"I'm sure of it," the older woman responded, leaning over her husband to take her daughters hand. The family remained that way until the sky outside the windows turned dark and the halogen lights above gave everything a harsh glare.

She looked out the window, many of the surrounding buildings throwing their own harsh light into the sky and she suddenly longed for the moonlit skies of the Romania Mountains. She felt a deep pang in her chest when she admitted to herself that it wasn't just the stars she missed, it was counting them for hours while laying in Charlie's arms. Swallowing hard to fight back the tears she began to deeply regret forcing him to stay.

"Is Charlie outside waiting for you? You can ask him in if you want," her mothers hoarse voice broke the lengthy silence.

"No, he stayed behind in Romania." Hermione answered with a shake of her head.

"Oh, I'm sure he had his reasons," her mother dismissed, turning her concerned frown back to her dying husband. That was the last they spoke for the next few hours; Hermione was dying to tell her mother about her time spent away, about the thrill of finally finding someone who understood her, but it just wasn't the right time.

It was several minutes after midnight when the man on the bed began to cough - great wracking heaves that shook his whole frame. Her mother jumped from her chair and slammed her hand against the emergency button; Hermione remained seated, glued to her position by his side.

Hermione began to shake her head in denial when her fathers' skin began to turn cold and his breathing became laboured, the coughing having all but stopped when his lungs finally fought to gain air. It was moments later that his soul left his body with a deep sigh, his whole frame falling still as the two women in his life sobbed above him.

The trio waiting on the hard couches down the busy hallway all looked up in surprise when the door finally opened. A very red faced and puffy eyed Hermione exited. They knew the moment her father had died, it had been the point when the loud sobs could once again be heard emitting from the paper thin walls and moments later when a team of nurses and doctors came running.

"You can go home now if you want," she mumbled, looking up at the roof and sniffling as if she were about to start crying again.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry," Harry said, breaking away from Ginny's grip to hug his friend. Ron joined them and the trio stood for a long time.

"Is there anything I can do?" Ginny asked timidly, not sure if Hermione would welcome her touch, not after the argument in Romania.

Hermione broke away enough to look at her old friend, "If you could contact Charlie, tell him what's happened … tell him I need him," she asked, her voice breaking at the last part.

"Sure, I'll floo him," she said, turning down the hall in search of a place to privately floo call her brother. The trio remained in the hallway.


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