(A/N: Sorry that it's been so long. I've been really busy. Unfortunately, the next chapter isn't quite ready yet (My name is 2wingo, and I'm a chronic Procrastinator). So in the meantime, I thought you'd all enjoy a number of hilarious jokes relating to Sherlock Holmes and Watson (whether Sir Doyle's Dr. John Hamish Watson or my Jeanette "Jane" Helene Watson). Please Read and Review.)


"Good afternoon, ladies," said Sherlock Holmes to three women sitting on a Seattle park bench.

"Do you know those women?" asked his faithful companion Jane Watson.

"No," said Holmes as the pair continued walking, "I do not know the spinster, the prostitute, and the new bride."

Jane looked shocked and said, "If you don't know them, how do you know that they are what you say?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson," said Holmes, glancing back, "Do you observe how they are eating bananas?"

"So?"

"Well, Watson, the spinster holds the banana in her left hand and uses her right hand to break the banana into small pieces which she puts into her mouth."

"I see what you mean, Holmes. What about the prostitute?"

"She holds the banana in both hands and crams it into her mouth."

"Holmes, you've surpassed yourself! But how did you know that the third one is a new bride?"

"Simple," said Holmes, "She holds the banana in her left hand and uses her right hand to push her head towards the banana."


Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly.

The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him.

"Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."


Sherlock Holmes and Jane Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night.

At about three a.m., Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson said, "I see millions of stars."

Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?"

Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about three in the morning. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes retorts, "Someone stole our bloody tent!"


One day, Sherlock Holmes and Jane Watson were doing their usual investigative business, when they uncovered an unusual painting.

At first glance, it looked like a picture of a normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if one looked closer, one could see that it was a remarkable painting. The tree trunk was actually made of fire, and its branches were made of ice, clouds and earth.

"What is it, Holmes?" asked Watson in awe.

"It's an Element tree, my dear Watson," replied Holmes.


Holmes and Watson are taking a trip across a desert by hot-air balloon. There are not many landmarks; so eventually, they become lost. Luckily, while flying quite low, they see a man.

Holmes shouts, "Sir, could you please tell me where we are?"

The man looks up, ponders for a moment, and then answers, "Friends, you are in a hot-air balloon!"

At this moment, a burst of wind picks up the balloon and carries it away.

Holmes turns to Watson and asks: "My friend, do you know who that man is?"

"No, Holmes, of course not!"

"He's a mathematician."

"Holmes, that's incredible! But how do you know?"

"It's very simple, Watson. First of all, the man thought before giving us an answer. Secondly, his answer was absolutely correct. And thirdly, the answer he gave us was of no practical use, whatsoever!"


(I'll have the next chapter soon. I swear. Please Review.)

TO BE CONTINUED.